Brickbat: Somebody Set Us Up the Bomb

Creative Commons

A Modesto, California, family is fighting to have a suspension removed from their 5-year-old son's permanent record. Jackson Riley was suspended from kindergarten at the Great Valley Academy for making terroristic threats. He told a teacher there was a bomb in his backpack and it would explode if he took the backpack off. His father said he wasn't threatening anyone. He just has an active imagination. "In his mind, he's being this hero that's preventing you from being exploded from an imaginary bomb in his backpack," he said.

Comments

[Telcontar the Wanderer]

"suspended from kindergarten... for making terroristic threats."

Stay tuned for next week's exciting episode, in which young Johnny Smith is caught pulling a girl's pigtails in preschool and is brought up on sex trafficking charges.

[Rat on a train]

He also possessed a 200mg ibuprofen and was arrested for drug dealing.

[Telcontar the Wanderer]

Yeah, it's a shame, really; if it had only been 100 mg or fewer, he could have gotten away with a simple possession charge. Now he'll be lucky to see daylight before the tricentennial.

[Crusty Juggler]

Still better than Johnson: Antivirus inventor John McAfee, 71, went on a naked shooting spree because the 'Belize government wants to assassinate him'

The antivirus software inventor started firing bullets into the walls and ceiling of his Tennessee home when his aggressive dogs started barking wildly.

At the moment they started barking the 71-year-old was in the middle of a romp-session with his 34-year-old wife Janice, according to Newsweek.

'[He] thought he heard a movement in the crawl space under our bedroom and in the attic,' Janice said in a statement to the FBI.

'He then fired his gun into both areas.'

The gunshots woke Alex Handrick, who lived below the couple in a basement apartment and worked as a security guard for the building.

The 28-year-old, who served in the army for eight years, grabbed his assault rifle and found a completely naked McAfee firing his gun at the living room ceiling.

McAfee told Newsweek he is being stalked by the Belize government, and claims they want to kill him because he hacked in and stole secret government information.

[chemjeff]

Oh my.
I think it may be time for John to get some professional help.

[Longtobefree]

There is no such thing as an 'assault rifle'.
Fake news.

[lap83]

Admit it, if John McAfee was a woman you and all of the other H&R guys would have written him in. Crazy can be attractive, unless your initials are HRC.

[Fist of Etiquette]

"In his mind, he's being this hero that's preventing you from being exploded from an imaginary bomb in his backpack," he said.

Crack open a comics. Heroes are always vilified by the common people.

[Telcontar the Wanderer]

And now we know what we have to ban to prevent any more young minds from being corrupted to the cause of terrorism.

[Telcontar the Wanderer]

Where in the world is... Matt Lauer's hand? Oh, THAT's where.

[Ama-Gi Anarchist]

And this is why Homeschooling makes sense....

[PaulTheBeav]

Nothing a 5 year old does should go on a permanent record.

[Charles Easterly]

Nothing a 5 year old does should go on a permanent record.

What if a child sings a song by the Violent Femmes?

(If the link begins with an advertisement or at the start of the song simply skip to the 1:02 mark where the reference will make sense.)

[Conchfritters]

Add it up

[db]

Brickbat: Somebody Set Us Up the Bomb

I simply just can't even.

[Rat on a train]

You have no chance to survive make your time.

[$park? leftist poser]

Seriously, how can nobody get this right?

[meister574]

All your Brickbat are belong to us!

[DaveSs]

Take off every zig!!

[crufus]

For great justice.

[Rich]

"In his mind, he's being this hero that's preventing you from being exploded from an imaginary bomb in his backpack,"

"that is, he's criminally insane."

[Radioactive]

imagination...the root of all evil!