Finally, the Queer Eye Reboot You've All Been Waiting for, Feat. Mike Rowe, Greg Gutfeld, and…

and, yes, Reason's own Nick Gillespie, in "From Millennial To Man."

Over at Medium, memoirist, columnist, and podcaster Lisa De Pasquale offers up a libertarian-conservative version of a threatened reboot of the fun old series Queer Eye for the Straight Guy (the show ran from 2003 to 2007, back in a simpler America when Carson wasn't simply a generic name for a mediocre pro-football quarterback). According to its producers, the new Queer Eye is going to fan out into red-state America and, presumably, enlighten men unironically shopping for food and clothes at Walmart, Meijer, and Target (no longer cool like it once way).

De Pasquale counters with:

I would love to see a reality show that improves men's lives and skills, especially for the millennials who seem to be struggling with "adulting." Sure there are some straight guys who might need some polishing, but let's be honest: there are also some guys who could use a little roughing up, too. Here are my ideas for a new reality show called "From Millennial to Man." These experts can turn Pajama Boy into a productive member of society.

Among the experts she selects are Mike Rowe, Greg Gutfeld, Chris Barron, Terry Schappert, Cam Edwards, Tyrus, and yours truly:

I think "Queer Eye" cohost Carson Kressley, who was just terminated on "The Celebrity Apprentice," would agree that having a personal style is more important than following trends. You'll never see Reason.tv and libertarian writer Nick Gillespie wearing skinny jeans, but you will see him in his trademark black leather jacket and blacker coif. After all, branding is just as important as style. Gillespie can also provide some inspiration on decorating. Forget setting the mood with wine and music. Nothing is more seductive than a man who actually has art on his walls.

Read the whole thing here.

Here's the interview Reason did with De Pasquale in 2014, when her excellent, funny, and deeply disturbing memoir Finding Mr. Righteous came out:

Comments

[Pan Zagloba]

You got me with that title, I thought it was a real thing and my heart soared.

Now I'll be sad for the rest of the day. Dammit, that would have been so good. But no, we can't have nice things in Trump's America!

[darius404]

Godammit, I'm the same. I was so hyped for a show with Mike Rowe and Nick Gillespie. And Greg too.

[Cynical Asshole]

In Trump's America, nice things have you!

Same here though, that show sounds like it would be pretty awesome. If nothing else watching the snowflakes break down in tears while Nick verbally berates them for not being able to change a tire or something would be endlessly entertaining.

[UnCivilServant]

It's not real? 🙁

[jesse.in.mb]

So she's the aunt from Ray Bradbury's The Playground?

[Crusty Juggler - #2]

This one's beneath me.

[Crusty Juggler - #2]

It's the Winston's mom of blog posts, is what I mean.

[Hugh Akston]

So it's going to be full of dudes and covered in shit pretty soon?

[Cynical Asshole]

Just like every comment thread at H&R.

[jesse.in.mb]

"Shared by everyone?" Nick said hopefully

[Bobarian (Would Chip Her)]

A lot of fun but you feel really embarrassed about it afterwards?

And you should probably see a doctor?

[Col. Chestbridge]

I sharply exhaled air from my beak.

[Libertarian]

So Nick to going to help change Pajama Boy and other hipsters into men? I'm not sure that the link showing his dolls (oops, I mean "action figures") is the best way to get a buzz for such a show.

[GILMORE?]

"How to Grow Up = from a man who has worn the same black t-shirt and leather jacket for the last 25+ years"

[John]

I would watch a reality show where normal men turn pajama boys into actual adults, but only if Robby Soave were the first subject.

[Rhywun]

What is this I can't even

[Scarecrow Repair & Chippering]

Look like we have a first candidate!

[juris imprudent]

No R. Lee Ermey? Unforgivable omission.

[Dr. Fronkensteen]

+1 Let's just chug on over to mamby pamby land where MAYBE we can find you some self confidence ya Jackwagon.

[Hugh Akston]

If you're going to include an effete Hollywood actor type, you'd bet better off with Harrison Ford, who in addition to being a general onscreen badass is also a pilot and a carpenter.

[mad.casual]

I'd even put Kurt Russell and Clint Eastwood higher on that list.

If not for actual outside-of-acting skill, then at least for both greater name recognition (than Ermey) *and* greater libertarian(ish) bona fides.

[loveconstitution1789]

Definitely have the common courtesy to give R. Lee Ermey a reach around or you will never hear the end of it.

[Crusty Juggler - #2]

Nothing is more seductive than a man who actually has art on his walls.

Yeah, a fifty-year-old man who takes pictures of his figurines is most surely a panty dropper.

We should have fun with this for the next underwhelming webathon. Donations should be based upon the number of pushups Gillespie can do in row. My guess: he can't crack a baker's dozen.

[commodious rebrands]

I hope the ladies are content with prints, 'cuz I'm not paying gallery prices for some part-time batista's hobby.

[Heroic Mulatto]

for some part-time batista's hobby

I agree. If someone is going to be a Cuban dictator, he or she should devote all available time to it.

[Pan Zagloba]

El Presidente - it's for life!

[Hugh Akston]

But only 20 hours a week!

[Episteme]

Do what I do: get affordable prints and then buy sets of matching frames (the sort that are on sale at AC Moore or such) for each room to set them in.

I have a bunch of antique map prints in my living room, a set of Albrecht D?rer woodcut prints in my bedroom, and a number of classic whisky ads (from old magazines) collaged and framed in my dining room.

[Diane Reynolds (Paul.)]

Where's the Farrah Fawcett poster?

[Krabappel]

My walls are like my soul, barren and gray.

[mad.casual]

I fell embarassed for Mike Rowe. Not that he's being asked to shoulder an unfair share of the burden, I know he can take that, but that he's been signed up for a show that's a decided step down from standing knee-deep in shit and two steps down from selling Ford trucks.

[Scarecrow Repair & Chippering]

+1 dirty job

[mad.casual]

It would be a hilarious to see him blow his lid in this role as both an indictment of snowflakes and a parody of Queer Eye/Reality Contest TV.

"Safety. third. you. pussilanimous. asshat! You know what? Fuck it. I can't work under these conditions. What? No, screw my contractual obligations to the studio I can't do anything for these spineless jellyfishes. Where the hell is Freddy? We're leaving."

Then replace him with Wayne Brady.

[Cynical Asshole]

Especially if it's gangsta Wayne Brady.

[Cynical Asshole]

Couldn't find the real video on youtube. Comedy Central probably had them all taken down, but you get the gist.

[loveconstitution1789]

Two thumbs DOWN!

[EscherEnigma]

Because nothing says "funny" like mocking Millenials again.

Seriously old folks, right when we were coming of age you guys tanked the housing market, dropped the country into a recession, threw employment numbers into a free fall exercise, and then to top it off, because you screwed your own retirement savings you didn't retire, thus making sure that were even fewer jobs for the young guys.

Then you have the audacity to complain that we didn't buy cars and houses or squat out kids like you did?

Heck, even the "participation trophies" you like to mock so much? That's on you. We were literally incapable of doing that to ourselves.

So sure, laugh at Millenials. But if you think about it, you're only laughing at your own piss-poor parenting skills, you colossal fuck-ups.

[Zeb]

I fall between the millennial generation and their parents. So I get to mock everyone.

[Cynical Asshole]

Gen-X, FTW!

[BigT]

Seriously old folks, right when we were coming of age you guys tanked the housing market, dropped the country into a recession, threw employment numbers into a free fall exercise, and then to top it off, because you screwed your own retirement savings you didn't retire, thus making sure that were even fewer jobs for the young guys.

And we will continue to fuck you over until we're pushing up daisies.

Now, GET OFF MY LAWN!!

[Voros McCracken]

As a Gen Xer,

+1,000,000

[Diane Reynolds (Paul.)]

Heck, even the "participation trophies" you like to mock so much? That's on you. We were literally incapable of doing that to ourselves.

The important thing is we admit it was done... and now let's try to correct it.

[Cynical Asshole]

These experts can turn Pajama Boy into a productive member of society.

I don't think that's possible. Some people are too far gone to help.

[John Titor]

*Looks at Gillespie picture*

I NEED AN ADULT.

[BigT]

You'll never see Reason.tv and libertarian writer Nick Gillespie wearing skinny jeans, but you will see him in his trademark black leather jacket and blacker coif.

Is he or isn't he?

(coloring his hair)

[Episteme]

This whole idea sounds like an ad for The Art of Manliness.

[John Titor]

I will only support this idea if Robby Soave is the first one they fix.

[Diane Reynolds (Paul.)]

Heck, even the "participation trophies" you like to mock so much? That's on you. We were literally incapable of doing that to ourselves.

[Diane Reynolds (Paul.)]

Wow, there are some pimp squirrels working this thread.

[MythicalLibertarianWoman]

When I was in third grade or so, I was on the swim team. I sucked really hard and came in last in everything, but they gave me a participation trophy at the end of the season. When my dad saw it, he blew his stack and yelled that I didn't deserve it because I hadn't done anything. So while other millennials may have felt an overinflated sense of pride over their non-accomplishments, I still to this day feel an overinflated sense of shame. #NotAllMillennials

[John Titor]

I still to this day feel an overinflated sense of shame

I didn't know there were any Japanese libertarians.

[LarryA]

Back when the original Queer Eye was running I would gladly have volunteered for a makeover, just so I could tell the fashionistas that any clothes they selected had to conceal my handgun.

[Ecoli]

"...had to conceal my handgun."

These euphemisms.