Rhode Island Will Vote on a Bill That Gives Kids the Right to Wear Sunscreen
Because they can't already


Today the Rhode Island legislature turns its attention to a matter of such pressing import, it could (possibly) garner some attention—even though it has nothing to do with President Trump. In the Ocean State, all (slightly stinging) eyes are on the Sunscreen Bill.
Do children have the fundamental right to apply sunscreen while at school? Five daring Rhode Island state representatives believe they do. And so Bill LC000842, to be voted on today, proposes:
Any person including, but not limited to, students, parents or school personnel may possess and use a topical sunscreen product without a physician's note or prescription while on school property or at a school-related event, or activity…
The bill goes on to explain that the law would allow said sallow students "to avoid overexposure to the sun." (So that's what it's for!) So long as "the product is regulated by the Federal Food and Drug Administration for over-the-counter use," that is.
I'm sure this must have been prompted by stories like this one, wherein three girls suffered severe sunburn at their school's field day because, the principal said, the school was not to allowed to administer sunscreen for "liability reasons." In fact, the principal added that if the student did not have a doctor's note officially approving the glop, it would be considered contraband.
Rhode Island, the state that once proposed a law that would make it a crime to let any child under the age of 12 get off the school bus unless an adult is waiting for them, takes a high dive into common sense.
And now we return to our regularly scheduled all-Trump all-the-time programming.
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How about we just tar and feather anyone who thinks an 11yo needs government approval to put on sunscreen or walk down the block unsupervised
That would have been the appropriate solution to this problem.
What exactly is the SPF on tar?
10,000!
I'm fairly certain that would eliminate the entirety of the US government.
Let's do it.
So that principal was crucified, upside down in a tidal pool, yes?
You Swiss and your pagan rituals...
But obviously a culturally-appropriated ritual since there are no tidal waters in Switzerland.
-1 Swiss Navy
Fuck, has Switzerland had ANY pagans since Constantine was emperor? I thought the tribes there were some of the first ones to jump onto the Christian bandwagon.
But I do love your idea about the tidal pool thing!
Swiss Merchant Marine.
I believe that was "borrowed" from the Irish.
I think "the boats" would be better, but to each his own.
"upside down in a tidal pool"
No. Upside down and in the sun. Without sunscreen. For the appropriate symbolic and ironic value.
Good. Maybe they can avoid whatever the hell it is that too much sun exposure is doing to Californians.
Rhode Island's state motto: Well, at least we're not New Jersey.
Rhode Island gets sun?
It's not Seattle.
If only there were women in RI as hot as the mom in the photo.
Rhode Island Will Vote on a Bill That Gives Kids the Right to Wear Sunscreen
Even refugee kids?
Sick burn.
No, no burn. That's the point.
Sunburn?
So a stupid law to "correct" other stupid laws/policies. That oughta do the trick.
The strategy worked with the NC bathroom bill, didn't it?
I guess that's the "rule of law" way to undo arbitrary executive decisions, as per Ron's article. :/
It's stupid laws all the way down.
We'll see how this changes when kids start huffing sunscreen.
That might improve their education at this point.
You should find someone from AZ to send that to John McCain. In the near future we'll hear about a bill he's proposed.
They just gotta make sure it's PABA-free!
Puts animal-tested PABA sunscreen in a BPA bottle.
WHERE IS YOUR GOD NOW?
(Whispers: It also contains vaccines to inoculate the kids from a host of horrible viruses.)
Holy fuck, dude!!! You are a MONSTER!
The water they're swimming in is fluoridated.
Just what we need, kids getting high off that sweet coconut scent.
I would give $100 to smell original Sea & Ski again.
They had to ban it because a whole generation of kids got tentacles.
"As used in R'leyh"
They can all play parts in the next Pirates of the Caribbean.
Not all those who wander are lost.
+1 That is not dead which can eternal lie
Mac: "Are you drinking sunscreen?!"
Dee: "It's a decoy. We're drinking tequila out of sunscreen bottles."
Trump?
One of us! One of us!
I like Skenazy. Takes some huevos to mock the rest of the staff along with the commentariat.
DeVos to hire Skenazy and bring some fucking reality to our country's policies towards kids.
Good on Lenore to troll the commentariat. 🙂
The true leader has spoken! All hail Lenore!
http://www.fox2detroit.com/new.....3942-story
Turns out Reason posted fake news today about the woman who died in Iraq as a result of Trump's refugee ban. Trump Derangement Syndrome does funny things to people.
I dunno, can we trust this "imam"? What if he's a secret Trumpkin?
LOL!
After the story aired on FOX 2 and was posted on FOX2Detroit.com, we received many questions about the validity of Hager's claims that his mother died waiting to be approved to come home. FOX 2 has confirmed that his mother died five days earlier.
According to Al-Hussainy, Hager's mother had kidney disease and was receiving treatment in Michigan - where she lived - before traveling to Iraq to visit family. The Imam said she passed away on January 22, 2017, five days before President Trump instituted the travel ban.
1) Gee, why are longtime regular commenters leaving Reason? It boggles the mind.
2) "No, really - I mean it this time! There's a freaking WOLF here, right fucking now! I'm totally serious!"
"The Imam said she passed away on January 22, 2017, five days before President Trump instituted the travel ban."
Wait a minute, so Trump poisoned her and killed her in Michigan, he didn't even wait until she was in Iraq?
Damn Reason is having a hell of a week and it's only Wednesday.
Don't worry, there will be a full retraction of that story and sincere apology ending with 'But Trump is still Hitler!.
Maybe they'll put fruit sushi in charge of that one:
Looks like they picked the wrong week to quit drinking smoking stop sniffing glue.
+1 Huffingglue Posts.
+1 Airplane!
Huh, this definitely should be looked into further. Honestly, though, it was a stupid story to use either way. An old woman that dies that fast wasn't going to be able to survive the flight.
They could have saved money by sending the x-ray film with her on the flight. Just have her lay back and soak in that radiation to develop it. Is there anything America's white people can't do for you when they're not being Nazis?
*le sigh*
God damn that anecdotal cry piece was bad enough without being fake. Love ya Reason, but don't give ammo to your enemies already claiming you are fake news.
But I guess the Neo-Journalism motto must stand:
"Better to be wrong at first, than right at second."
This is what we've come to, folks. Now we need a fucking bill to allow kids to put on some lotion. But you know, the real threat to our freedom is Trump temporarily banning people from countries that are full of people with a barbaric and murderous ideology who openly swear to murder us.
Not all of us, Hyperion. They just openly swear to murder you.
Hyperion cannot be killed by a jihad!
[Jihad Intensifies]
*Reloading pork cannon*
These euphemisms.
You know who else put the lotion on its skin?
Or else it got the hose again?!
No hose! No hose!.... please no more hose...
Was she a large girl? Roomy? Big through the hips?
-2 triangles
They were diamond-shaped, you buffoon. DIAMOND-SHAPED!
Look, i haven't seen that movie in almost 15 years.
Almost every black person I know?
Ashy isn't a good look.
You really need to have a word with Larry.
I'm old enough to remember a time when anything not specifically banned was allowed.
Meanwhile, across the border in the Peoples State of Taxachusetts, my neighbor takes her 13 yr old son to the bus stop every morning. (The live on the corner where the bus stops, and there is a clear view from the front door to the bus stop.)
... raising another generation of independent adults.
Not!
Maybe he has a history of truancy or of smoking the reefer, and his mom is just making sure he gets on the damn bus?
My aunt drives her now 13yo kid down the block to school everyday. When said he can walk it himself, I get the standard stranger danger crap.
So I told her if anyone were to take my cousin, they would give him back (my parents used to say the same about me).
Also told her that statistically speaking, I'm more likely to kidnap him then any random stranger.
Congratulations on your abundant free time, now that you are banned from family gatherings.
Maybe he doesn't want to be a part of the family any longer.
don't threaten me with a good time
honestly I'm not sure if parents buy into all of that crap, maybe it's just to give them something to do?
I grew up in Mass. in the 70s and 80s, we would walk to school by ourselves as early as kindergarten, and our parents would always tell us to stay away from strangers, especially if they drove blue cars. Unfortunately, this wisdom has been lost, since most residents with any common sense moved out a long time ago.
I'm 30 and I walked to school from 1st grade on.
Shockingly the same parents that bitch about how their kid is fat and lazy and plays video games all the time, drives their ass to school and doesn't let them play outside.
Yes, I said doesn't let them. My cousin wants a bike and they won't give it to him
That's a pretty fucked anecdote about your cousin, assuming that the bike isn't being wittheld for misbehaviour or lack of money reasons.
Yeah he's a good kid, she sites BS 'safety' concerns for not letting him play outside. The only way he can do that is to be in a youth sports league
This makes me really, really, sad.
yeah he can't walk to the park with his friend to play Pokemon, so I went with them last summer, tripped and fell on my phone and broke 2 metacarpal bones. Doc said I was his first Pokemon GO related injury.
That'll teach you to be nice
No good deed goes unpunished!
On the plus side, I did get him to Magic Mountain with another cousin my age, since his parents would never bring him there. He was really nervous going in, and now he can't stop talking about it according to his friends.
Seriously, if you've never been on X2, Tatsu, or Twisted Colossus, you're missing out.
Buy him the damn bike, make sure his mother doesn't know until it's wheeled in front of him with a big bow and his name on it. If she is capable of forbidding it right then and there, she isn't human.
Also get him some Tuttle Twins books. Unless, you know, he is too old. In which case get him some real Hayek.
Take this man's advice.
"drives their ass to school and doesn't let them play outside"
You mean so that they don't get arrested and have the kids kidnapped by the state?
I'm 45, and from what I have observed, parents didn't start getting super-overprotective until the early 2000s or so-maybe it had something to do with 9/11...
Internet phenomena my friend. The impact has yet to be fully realized; but is certainly the source of all current developments.
^ to continue, the Internet is really the only obvious variable current times have that differentiate them from previous generations.
9/11 is just war stuff, people have always had that influcnce policy, 12/7/1941 for instance.
I guess these parents who are so influenced by the internet are also probably the same ones who want to ban fake news; proggy parents tend to be the most overprotective. I also blame the surge in parenting experts who say that you are a bad parent if you are not still breastfeeding and wiping your kid's butt until they're 21. I still think though that 9/11 did more to propagate irrational fears of everything than the internet.
Where do those fears foster endlessly though? Internet echo chambers. I feel like echo chambers must have been harder to maintain before the web.
Hell, when I was in 4th-6th most everyone (within a mile) walked to school, and some of us (yours truly) were AAA Safety Crossing Guards. They actually had the audacity to send us 9-12 year olds into the middle of the street to stop cars. Miraculously, a few of us actually lived to tell the tale.
yeah when I was in 5th grade, I was a crossing card for my school, 5 shifts a week.
I'm in Massachusetts, my wife drives my 16 year old son to the bus stop every morning. Why? Because momma loves her little boy. The stop is only one block over and he thankfully is allowed to walk home in the afternoon.
"he thankfully is allowed to walk home in the afternoon"
So, MA is one of them wild west wastelands. And now they got legalized dope too!
And corrupt cops, and shifty politicians, and dykes. We got it all, baby!
I lived there for a few years in my early 20's. Fun town, a sea of college girls, but Christ was it expensive! My dumb blue collar ass had to work 60 hours or more a week just to keep my head above water.
I guess I equated Massachusetts with Boston. But really, isn't the rest of the state just a glorified suburb?
No.
The area within Route 128 is commonly regarded as the Boston Metropolitan area. Route 128 is a highway that rings Boston.
The east / west highway which runs across Massachusetts, the Mass Pike (route 90), stretches over 100 miles.
Fair enough, Mike. I was just indulging in a bit of hyperbole. 😉
Though, in my defense, I have a slightly different point of reference in regards to what constitutes a suburb.
Despite my city's middling population, it's in the top 10-15% in total square miles and the state it resides in could encompass every state in New England.
From my point of view, the East Coast was a cluster-fuck that eventually sent me Westward.
My mom drove me to school my senior year of high school, but that was only because she worked in the elementary school that was just a parking lot away from the high school.
I guess you're just the sperm donor?
Just you wait and see-them kiddos will find ways to sneak drugs into sunscreen bottles.
And it will be the scariest new drug ever to sweep the nation in an epidemic!
Is YOUR Child BUTTCHUGGING Titanium Dioxide?
"Jimmy's poops were so white, it wasn't even like I knew him anymore."
'member when you could pronounce what terrible things your kids were getting hooked on rather than these horrible chemicals they put in everything? Ah, jenkem, we miss you. I 'member.
It would be a clever way to sneak booze in-remember, kids can get drunk from too much hand sanitizer, imagine what a sunscreen-sized bottle would do. To say nothing of buttchugging it...
Sunscreen is more addictive than tobacco, which is more addictive than heroin, which is more addictive than cocaine, which is more addictive than sunscreen!!!
It's ALL very, very logical; you just have to look at it while you are good and stoned!!!
Lenore, however, failed to link to this.
The fuck?
"That which is not specifically permitted is forbidden."
Can't they just walk a few feet and be in a state where it's legal?
That would be called "school choice." In the blue northeast. That's some seriously racist shit you're saying right now. Why can't you be woke like the cool kids?
We whitey say 'awake' and I totally don't know what that even means.
That's why you're a fascist.
Obviously
this is nice but in Donald Trump's America Muslim children will still not be allowed to wear sunscreen.
Well, it doesn't matter cause they ain't allowed to run around nekked with they ass out like heathen Murikans.
For the next four to eight years, every single unhappy thing will be the result of Donald Trump's America.
Well, in all fairness, the girls don't need sunscreen because they were their burkas and hijabs, so there's that.
*wear, not were. UGH!
I think it's that Trump won't pay for Muslim kids' sunscreen, isn't it?
In Donald Trump's America Muslim Children go without sunscreen because they can't afford it and no one will pay for it.
Do muslim children really need to wear sunscreen, or do they have enough melanin in their skin to get away without it? /sarc
And now we return to our regularly scheduled all-Trump all-the-time programming.
Well played.
Bah. I assumed no one else read the articles.
It's just Trump, all day, every day, right here on Trump TV!
Lenore reads the comments, it seems.
In Donald Trump's America, kids going without sun screen is ignored because all everyone wants to talk about is Trump.
Kids in Rhode Island can get a sunburn during recess? Unlikely.
And now we return to our regularly scheduled all-Trump all-the-time programming.
Sad!
It's Donald Trump's America Fist. Everything is sad.
The Rhode Island state legislature is only reining in these dedicated, expert, public school principal heroes because they are racist and want our children to suffer.
Fuck you. This bill is just another case of the powerful ginger lobby forcing their defective skin on my hypothetical school-age child!
Foiled again! We'll freckle you yet, Fist of Etiquette!
Unvaccinated ginger kids with peanut allergies and gluten sensitivity. Mandatory two EpiPens sticking out of their necks at all times like Frankenstein's monster's bolts.
Don't you dare suggest they attend school in a bubble (unless you mean the ideological leftist kind, that is mandatory)!
Why the Left Will Never Stop Despairing Over Trump
http://thefederalist.com/2017/.....ing-trump/
Ladies and Gentleman; the feel good story of the decade.
The continued derangement of the left has made it very difficult to worry about what Trump is doing as President (some good, some bad in my book so far).
They're trying to give him the raspberry!
Don't make me regret this, John.
He could have just written:
Because feels > reals.
Why spill all of the rest of that digital ink?
Per John's series of posts, I submit that we all work towards making "In Trump's America..." a meme to compete with the old "In Soviet Russia..." meme.
I like it Sparky. I think it fits with the hysterical nature of the times and especially reason since the inauguration. Its only been a week and a half. We have at least four more years of this. Where does it go?
In Trump's America, jokes meme you!
Oh, let me repost then: In Trump's America, you have right to bear arms. In America, you have right after you bear arms.
I'm shocked no one else has pointed out yet that the mom in that picture is a MILF. I'm disappointed in all of you degenerates.
She is very cute. But is she really a MILF or an aunt too hot for the kid to not have sick fantasies about?
Good question. Or, since this post is about kids being allowed to use sunscreen in school is she the teacher all the boys are hot for?
Whoever she is, she's definitely not from Rhode Island. She isn't 400 lbs and covered with makeup and tattoos.
But trust me, on the sunscreen.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MQlJ3vOp6nI