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Jill Stein Praises Julian Assange, Judge Rejects $100M Uber Settlement With Drivers, RIP Deez Nuts: A.M. Links

Elizabeth Nolan Brown | 8.19.2016 9:00 AM

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(Jaap Arriens/NurPhoto/Sipa USA/Newscom)
  • Jaap Arriens/NurPhoto/Sipa USA/Newscom

    A judge rejected Uber's proposed $100 million settlement with California drivers, saying it low-balled the drivers' claims.

  • A Ukrainian lawmaker backed up allegations that a Kremlin-backed Ukranian political party paid Paul Manafort, former Trump campaign chair, "to finance services such as carrying out exit polls at elections, buying computers and conducting research. The largest single payment was $3.5 million."
  • Green Party presidential candidate Jill Stein said WikiLeaks founder Julian Assange is a hero.
  • Trolls are "turning the web into a cesspool of aggression and violence" says Time magazine.
  • The Federal Election Commission is taking a stand against fake presidential candidates (RIP Deez Nuts).
  • The U.S. Attorney's Office is considering whether a Massachusetts town violated federal civil rights law by blocking an Islamic cemetery.
  • The administration of Florida Gov. Rick Scott decided to cease fighting a Planned Parenthood lawsuit challenging a state law aimed at abortion-clinic inspection requirements and funds.
  • FiveThirtyEight tackles the gender wage gap.
  • Breitbart's Milo Yiannoupolous is launching a "Young British Heritage Society."
  • Lawyers for the former CEO of Rentboy.com, the male escort site busted by the U.S. Department of Homeland Security last summer, said he is finalizing a plea agreement with the state.

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NEXT: San Antonio Police Union Rejects Reforms Unless They Get Paid More

Elizabeth Nolan Brown is a senior editor at Reason.

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  1. Just a thought not a sermon   9 years ago

    217) I think one of the things that makes cities vital and cosmopolitan is having lots of cultures. However, I think people have the misapprehension that this means everybody should live in rainbow neighborhoods. But that’s not what makes cities vital?think of all the cities that have, or used to have, ethnic enclaves. The Little Italies and Chinatowns, the Koreatowns and Lower East Sides. It’s that sort of neighborhood, where people from a certain culture can live near those like them, while still having access to the advantages of the larger city, that make the city vital.

    Segregation shouldn’t be enforced by law, but what we’ve had for several decades in America is the opposite?the intentional destruction of “slum” neighborhoods in the 1950s and 1960s, the forced busing of the 1970s, the forced inclusion of low-income units in new apartment buildings so beloved by progressives today. If you want vital, multi-ethnic cities, stop imposing new codes and requirements. Just stand back, and leave well enough alone.

    1. Just a thought not a sermon   9 years ago

      Fisty sleeping in? Or just passed out in a ditch?

      1. WTF   9 years ago

        You didn’t reference a link, so no first for you.

        1. Just a thought not a sermon   9 years ago

          If I wanted to follow a bunch of irrational, arbitrary rules I’d be posting over at the Taliban website.

          1. This Machine   9 years ago

            JATNAS! On fiyah this morning!

      2. invisible furry hand   9 years ago

        Fisty sleeping in? Or just passed out in a ditch?

        They’re one and the same, surely

        1. Fist of Etiquette   9 years ago

          I’m reporting all of you as spam. Except for WTF. He’s good people.

          1. Bobarian (Would Chip Her)   9 years ago

            ^^The Spambot is on the fritz this AM?

    2. This Machine   9 years ago

      Just stand back, and leave well enough alone.

      You’re asking the bureaucrats for too much, there, Jatty. They can’t not meddle. It’s just their nature.

    3. Tonio   9 years ago

      The problem is not those “ethnic” majority neighborhoods, the problem for SJWs and government meddlers is those established neighborhoods which are majority white and didn’t magically integrate overnight. Also that there is no poor people housing in better neighborhoods.

    4. $park? is totally a Swifty   9 years ago

      Did you know that in an actual melting pot all of the different things thrown in eventually boil down to one mass of aggregate (is that the right word?) stuff?

      1. Zeb   9 years ago

        But if it’s big enough, it takes a long time to reach equilibrium.

        1. Free Society   9 years ago

          Assuming that you don’t just dump in two or three ingredients en masse so that the entire pot is characterized by the ingredients of those ingredients. Smaller portions, melted slowly and naturally.

    5. Rufus The Monocled   9 years ago

      Hello.

      “Trolls are “turning the web into a cesspool of aggression and violence” says Time magazine.”

      But enough about Time.

    6. Rhywun   9 years ago

      people have the misapprehension that this means everybody should live in rainbow neighborhoods

      Really? All I hear from the left is yammering about “gentrification”, i.e. white people people moving into neighborhoods that are supposedly reserved for one ethnic tribe or another.

      1. Brett L   9 years ago

        When the right people do it, its good. Once Republicans start moving in, its gentrification.

      2. Lee Genes   9 years ago

        Now “gentrification” happens when minorities move into different minority neighborhoods as the proggie diaspora continues to eat itself.

    7. Rufus The Monocled   9 years ago

      Little Towns were originally set up to give a chance for communities to help each other out as they assimilate into the wider culture. Now they’re just cultural novelties and some slowly petering out – ie Little Italy. At least in NYC, Chi, SF, Tor and Mtl they are from my observation. Boston seems to be still strong though. I could be wrong.

      1. Brett L   9 years ago

        Set up, implies more thought than what happened. When the baker, the grocer, and the church who speak your language are all within 4 blocks of each other, guess where you want to live.

      2. DEG   9 years ago

        Boston seems to be still strong though

        Change is not allowed in New England.

        1. Rufus The Monocled   9 years ago

          Boston is one strange town.

          Love it though.

          1. DEG   9 years ago

            Love it though.

            Different strokes for different folks.

            Boston will always be a dump for me.

        2. Agent Cooper   9 years ago

          Boston Strong!

          *rolls military grade tank-like equipment down street while I force the populace to remain locked in their domiciles under penalty of law*

      3. Chipwooder   9 years ago

        NY’s Little Italy has been almost complete consumed by another ethnic enclave, Chinatown. Little Italy is like two blocks now.

        1. Isaac Bartram   9 years ago

          I thought the Italians had all moved to Long Island or New Jersey.

          1. Bill Dalasio   9 years ago

            I thought the Italians had all moved to Long Island or New Jersey.

            Yeah, they pretty much have. That’s why the Manhattan Little Italy is two blocks (I’d say one). It’s a tourism destination, but not really even an ethnic commercial enclave (Arthur Avenue in the Bronx fills that void much more effectively). And even Chinatown, the neighborhood that’s consumed it, really isn’t much of a “neighborhood” in the sense of ethnic people predominantly living there, as a commercial enclave.

            1. Heroic Mulatto   9 years ago

              Again, “Chinatown” is now located in Queens, right next to Koreatown. There used to be “Indiantown” in the same place, even as recently as 10 years ago…but they were pushed out by the rapid expansion of Fa La Xing

      4. Heroic Mulatto   9 years ago

        Now they’re just cultural novelties and some slowly petering out

        You haven’t spent much time in Flushing, have you?

        1. Crusty Juggler   9 years ago

          More like West East Asia, am I right?

    8. Mike Laursen   9 years ago

      I dunno. The separate ethnic neighborhoods thing only really pops if there’s secret romance and dancing street gangs involved.

    9. Bill Dalasio   9 years ago

      Just stand back, and leave well enough alone.

      That seems to be an ideal recipe whether you believe ethnic enclaves should remain an indelible feature or not. Personally, I think, over time, such enclaves outlive their usefulness as anything more than a museum relic. Organically, you wind up with strongest of the institutions remaining as the enclaves disperse into wider society and new influences arriving to take up the slack. That of course leads to interesting cross-pollinations that can’t really be predicted very well.

      1. Citizen X   9 years ago

        +1 Korean taco truck

  2. Fist of Etiquette   9 years ago

    Trolls are “turning the web into a cesspool of aggression and violence” says Time magazine.

    The internet needs registration.

    1. Swiss Servator   9 years ago

      “Common Sense Troll Regulation”

    2. thrakkorzog   9 years ago

      Says you. You black homo fag,

    3. SIV   9 years ago

      I hope I’m Time’s Man of the Year again.

    4. Zeb   9 years ago

      I thought that happened a long time ago.

      1. Zeb   9 years ago

        The cesspool thing, not the registration.

    5. Lee Genes   9 years ago

      Joel Stein is an unrepentant authoritarian wannabe who poorly attempts to hide his totalitarian desires with a moniker of satire.

      No, old people vote shortsightedly, choosing the least progressive outcome. In surveys in the U.S. and the U.K., people over 65?compared with people under 30?were nearly twice as likely to be against gay marriage; twice as likely to be pro-Brexit; half as likely to support legalization of marijuana; nearly five times less likely to want to spend money on education; 60% more likely to vote for Donald Trump; and nearly 50% more likely to say immigrants have a negative impact on society, despite the fact that they are being wheeled around by them. Whether these figures are accurate is irrelevant, since old people are so bad at Googling.
      Their poor choices were always a problem, but it’s become far more acute now that there are so many of them. The over-65 generation does not accurately represent our country, because they are overwhelmingly white and actually vote. So, unfortunately, we’re going to have to bar them from voting.

      1. Tonio   9 years ago

        Damn those people for voting in their own interests. And fuck Joel Stein.

        1. You Sound Like a Prog (MJG)   9 years ago

          Yes, damn them.

          Can we stop praising or excusing “voting in their own interest” at a libertarian site?

      2. Roger the Shrubber   9 years ago

        Democracy is great (except when I’m in the minority.)

      3. Rhywun   9 years ago

        Wow… what a sad, nasty person.

      4. Longtorso, Johnny   9 years ago

        Why am I thinking he changes his tune when they vote to keep us all locked into Social Security?

      5. Apple   9 years ago

        but it’s become far more acute now that there are so many of them.

        If you youngsters wanted more youngsters, you shoulda had more unprotected sex. Just think how lopsided it’s gonna be when Joel Stine is in the over 65 camp. But somehow I don’t think he’ll be so dismissive of the elderly then.

        1. Citizen X   9 years ago

          When Joel Stein is 65, he’ll be complaining about all the politically regressive 90-year-olds.

      6. Citizen X   9 years ago

        So, unfortunately, we’re going to have to bar them from voting.

        If we can bar them from running, too, i might be on board.

        1. Rhywun   9 years ago

          I would be OK with barring anyone under 30 from voting.

          Seriously – I remember how stupid I was back then.

      7. Glide   9 years ago

        I kept waiting for him to make an actual argument.

        Nope. We just need to only allow good voters, in some sense that’s totally not just rubberstamping what Joel Stein wants even though his only examples of bad voting are “not what Joel Stein wants”.

      8. Juice   9 years ago

        It says that it’s humor/satire.

        1. Chipwooder   9 years ago

          Yes, Stein thinks of himself as Jonathan Swift, I imagine.

      9. B.P.   9 years ago

        In reading his Wikipedia page, Joel Stein is allegedly supposed to be a humor writer. I’m pretty sure some of the quotes about him on that page are funnier than any thought he has ever had.

      10. Azathoth!!   9 years ago

        Why do so many people think that the ‘old people’ are always the same people?

        The ‘old people’ so supportive of Brexit in 2016 were the young people so supportive of ‘Bretrance’ in the 70s.

        People like Joel Stein appear to believe that there’s this claque of ‘old people’ out there who perpetually poo-poo whatever the young people like.

        They never stop to realize that it’s precisely the opposite.

        When you’re young, and think you know it all, you crap all over what old people say, do, like and suggest because you think you know better.

        But you don’t.

        You don’t know that you’re going to re-define ‘young’ in your head so that even when you’re old, you’re not ‘old’.

        You don’t know that when you’re young your brain is operating as if you’ve got half the internet shut down.

        You don’t know that you unlock abilities as you go–some that are learned, and some that just happen because of the way your brain is put together.

        And you don’t know that to a lot of people you’re already one of those ‘old people’ already.

  3. Bee Tagger   9 years ago

    Trolls are “turning the web into a cesspool of aggression and violence” says Time magazine.

    And here I thought the web was turning me into a cesspool of aggression and violence.

    1. WTF   9 years ago

      Trolls defined as “people who aggressively disagree with my political opinions”.

      1. Zeb   9 years ago

        I think it’s fair to say that there are trolls of all political stripes who go above and beyond simple aggressive disagreement. And it does make a lot of comment sections unbearable (YouTube being perhaps the most obvious example).

        1. $park? is totally a Swifty   9 years ago

          +1 YouTube brought me here.

        2. Citizen X   9 years ago

          (YouTube being perhaps the most obvious example)

          What about Hit’n’Run, you kike wop faggot? Die in a fire kekekekekekekekekeke

          [img: pedobear.gif]

          1. Swiss Servator   9 years ago

            *rousing ovation*

          2. Zeb   9 years ago

            H&R protects itself by appearing to be a cesspool, but actually being awesome. Mostly. At least when there isn’t a presidential election coming up.

            1. commodious needs a drink   9 years ago

              You people comment in the off years?

              1. straffinrun   9 years ago

                Of course. Those are the best libertarian moments.

              2. Citizen X   9 years ago

                There are off years between presidential elections anymore?

                1. Zeb   9 years ago

                  I think so. Though I’m having a hard time remembering a time before Trumptardation at the moment.

                  1. Citizen X   9 years ago

                    I dunno, i’m pretty sure the current campaign season kicked off shortly before Thanksgiving 2012.

        3. Apple   9 years ago

          Are people still accusing anyone who disagrees with their taste in music of being Justin Bieber fans? I haven’t read youtube comments in a while. I assume they’ve moved on to someone else.

          1. Zeb   9 years ago

            Never read the comments for music.

            My favorites are the people with the crackpot physics theories that respond to every serious science lecture video. Then there are the flat earthers.

      2. $park? is totally a Swifty   9 years ago

        That’s not what trolls are, douchebag.

        1. WTF   9 years ago

          No kidding, assnugget. It was a sarcastic reference to the typical leftard definition of “troll”, you kike wop faggot. Die in a fire kekekekekekekekekeke

          [img: pedobear.gif]

          1. $park? is totally a Swifty   9 years ago

            QQ more, dickbag. Maybe you should stop trying to be clever since ur so bad at it. Bad af

            1. WTF   9 years ago

              What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I’m the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands.

              1. Agent Cooper   9 years ago

                “I am trained in gorilla warfare”

                +1 Charlton Heston

              2. Yusef Adama   9 years ago

                +12 Courics

              3. mojoe   9 years ago

                But only after Mom brings down the tray of assorted hot pockets and a 2 liter of Mountain Dew Code Red.

              4. Careless   9 years ago

                Needs a Columbia journalism degree

      3. Free Society   9 years ago

        Trolls defined as “people who aggressively disagree with my political opinions”.

        That is by far the most widely accepted definition of a troll, which is of course incorrect. Some youtubers with dumbass political positions that I otherwise like treat any critical posts in the comment section as a troll. They’ll whine about it in their videos and once upon a time, a comic book reviewer that I frequent made a video where she discussed the Robocop franchise. She proceed to praise the politics of it, that we need to “take down the corporations, man. The corporations are The Man. The government is the people. Power to the people. We need to empower the government to stop the corporations from taking over the government to make the government too powerful.”

        Naturally my retort to this stupid non-argument was explanatory, about how logically inconsistent that position is. The entire comments section and the youtuber personality called me a troll. I was amazed.

  4. invisible furry hand   9 years ago

    A city-run cultural program in Seattle is offering residents classes on “white fragility” so white folks understand why they can’t seem to handle matters involving race, and tickets have sold out.

    more

    1. Princess Trigger   9 years ago

      Sounds like a “cesspool of aggression and violence”.
      Count me in.

    2. Swiss Servator   9 years ago

      Racing San Fran to see who will turn into a Maoist Commune first?

      1. Mike Laursen   9 years ago

        You’re behind the times. San Francisco is all about fifteen guys sitting at computers at a long table in a brick building, investigating whether their analytics are working right because how could the usage numbers on their world-changing app be so low, while eleven of them are shyly lusting after the cute but quirky receptionist. Then they get together (they’re all roommates, anyway) to play Ultimate Frisbee on Saturday morning and “party” hat night, which means nursing a beer while lusting after the cute but quirky receptionist who is being chatted up your some Muy Thai instructor.

        1. Swiss Servator   9 years ago

          Day-um!

          *applauds*

        2. Careless   9 years ago

          Wait, tell me more about this receptionist

    3. straffinrun   9 years ago

      whites will often display racial arrogance by denying, debating, trivializing racism or critical thought regarding racial conflict.

      Darn. Where do I report to?

      1. WTF   9 years ago

        people of color will often display racial arrogance by claiming, debating, exaggerating racism or critical thought regarding racial conflict.

        Makes just about as much sense.

      2. Zeb   9 years ago

        Because it’s not possible that some white people come honestly and thoughtfully to different conclusions about racial issues.

        But if you think that the whole problem isn’t that white people are racist and need to check their privilege, you must be an arrogant denier.

      3. Tonio   9 years ago

        IOW, shut the fuck up, Whitey.

        1. straffinrun   9 years ago

          “Whites will often…”

          Phd in how not to be a racist right there.

          1. WTF   9 years ago

            It’s okay when referring to Whitey, because power differentials and intersectionality *bullshit bullshit bullshit*, see?

            1. Bobarian (Would Chip Her)   9 years ago

              It sounds like the name of the class should be “How to be a Better Racist”, since it sounds like someone believes there is no cure for being white.

              /Mdm. Dolezal notwithstanding.

      4. Rufus The Monocled   9 years ago

        Well. I will chime in with this. If you want to observe non-whites and how they react to race in public just hire a black person like we did.

        We’ve counted at least five instances where we believe racism or prejudicial behavior took place.

        It’s quite disappointing.

        1. Brian   9 years ago

          Had a class in college. Professor asked white PEOPLE to raise their hands if they thought about their race that day.

          No one raised their hands.

          Then he asked the black kids to raise their hands if they thought about being black that day. They all raised their hands.

          For better or for worse, blacks think about race all the time, and if you don’t, then that’s…problematic, in their world.

          1. Heroic Mulatto   9 years ago

            Then he asked the black kids to raise their hands if they thought about being black that day. They all raised their hands.

            I blame rap.

          2. Free Society   9 years ago

            It’s problematic in everyone’s world. If you don’t care about in-group preference, if you don’t care about your tribe, if you don’t want to boil your political allegiances down to race, tough shit because blacks will do all of those things. You may not take an interest in racialism but racialism will take an interest in you, whitey.

    4. Shirley Knott   9 years ago

      Tickets were *sold*??
      That’s an aggression right there!

    5. WTF   9 years ago

      Holy fuck, what is wrong with people. The fact that this shit is taken seriously is proof that there is no hope for what is left of our republic.

    6. Mickey Rat   9 years ago

      Si they are happily marching into the reeducation camps?

      1. Just a thought not a sermon   9 years ago

        I bet even Mao never thought you could sell tickets for this shit. “Oooh, I can’t wait for the show trial log ride!” “But first, let’s try one of the self-criticism tea cups!”

      2. RBS   9 years ago

        I guess this is what having no self respect looks like.

    7. Lee Genes   9 years ago

      If you don’t agree with me, you must be racist.

      1. Zeb   9 years ago

        And a communist.

    8. Rhywun   9 years ago

      This is the major city in the same county that retconned its name from a white person to a black person, so nothing surprises me there anymore.

      1. Citizen X   9 years ago

        Since when are there black people in the Pacific Northwest? I know of one, but she moved back east.

        1. invisible furry hand   9 years ago

          this article on Portland’s ethnic cleansing is quite fascinating

        2. Zeb   9 years ago

          Well, there was Jimi Hendrix.

        3. Apple   9 years ago

          Jimi Hendrix, Quincy Jones, Ray Charles, Sir Mix-A-Lot. Maybe you have to be a musician. I assume there are others since Mix-A-Lot had no problem finding so many big butts.

          1. Swiss Servator   9 years ago

            And he could not lie?

    9. ant1sthenes   9 years ago

      They should put it on an island and cross-sell tickets to violent black nationalists as a “kill white people event”. And then never let anyone leave the island.

    10. The Fusionist   9 years ago

      “tickets have sold out.”

      Can’t they just pay a dominatrix to beat them?

    11. Agent Cooper   9 years ago

      If the Nokos ever really get nukes, they should start with Seattle.

    12. Agent Cooper   9 years ago

      Classes? I think a camp would be more fun.

  5. Fist of Etiquette   9 years ago

    Green Party presidential candidate Jill Stein said WikiLeaks founder Julian Assange is a hero.

    For sexual assault???

    1. Zeb   9 years ago

      As everyone knows, all women have rape fantasies.

      1. The Fusionist   9 years ago

        Why else would they vote Democrat?

  6. Lord Humungus   9 years ago

    The mystery of how a company set up to search for Bigfoot hit a $10 billion value

    Biscardi’s company is in the, um, big business of Bigfoot.

    Figuring out just how a company like that came to have a market capitalization listed at more than $10 billion is a mystery worthy of Bigfoot himself.

    It begins in the woods, as all good Yeti stories do. Biscardi told CNBC on Tuesday that his first encounter with a Bigfoot came on a creature-finding expedition in Northern California in 1973. He said he saw a large hairy monster squatting by a chokecherry bush, eating. It had a hairy face that looked almost human, and the creature had berry juice all over its mouth. As it stood up, it turned and looked directly at the explorers, Biscardi recalled.

    “I got to tell you something, I nearly s–t.”

    1. Swiss Servator   9 years ago

      THAT NOT JUICE ON MOUTH!

      STEVE SMITH WANT CUT OR WILL RAPE COMPANY OFFICERS…MIGHT DO SO ANYWAYS.

      1. This Machine   9 years ago

        STEVE SMITH RAPE LESS IF COMPANY SETTLES EARLY.

        JUST KIDDING, STILL RAPE JUST AS MUCH.

        JUST KIDDING, RAPE MORE.

        1. Citizen X   9 years ago

          STEVE SMITH ASYMPTOTICALLY APPROACH INFINITY OF RAPE.

    2. Lee Genes   9 years ago

      Ah yes, the pink sheets, a veritable plethora of healthy investments.

    3. thrakkorzog   9 years ago

      And yet we have solved the problem of Bigfoot. There is a big blurry monster out the roaming the Pacific Northwest, and nobody has addressed the problem.

    4. Brett L   9 years ago

      No. Its not. I issue one million shares at a penny valuation. I sell ten to my friends at that value. I buy each one back for $100. I now have a $100M valuation.

      1. creech   9 years ago

        Sorry, valuations don’t work that way.

        1. Brett L   9 years ago

          Sorry, but they too often do.

    5. Citizen X   9 years ago

      Northern California in 1973? “A hairy face that looked almost human?” Dude, that was just some hippie.

      1. Swiss Servator   9 years ago

        STEVE SMITH ENJOY HIPPIE RAPE TOO. 1970S A GOOD TIME IN NORTHWEST.

  7. Fist of Etiquette   9 years ago

    The Federal Election Commission is taking a stand against fake presidential candidates (RIP Deez Nuts).

    Poor Trump then?

    1. Shirley Knott   9 years ago

      Poor Hillary, too. She’s the biggest fake in DC, which takes some doing.

      But seriously, how on earth does anyone decide, for others, that this or that candidate is ‘not serious’?
      They’re all a freaking joke.

    2. Lee Genes   9 years ago

      YOU WILL TAKE OUR NATIONAL SHAM SERIOUSLY

    3. Agent Cooper   9 years ago

      What difference, at this point, does it make?

  8. WTF   9 years ago

    A Ukrainian lawmaker backed up allegations that a Kremlin-backed Ukranian political party paid Paul Manafort, former Trump campaign chair, “to finance services such as carrying out exit polls at elections, buying computers and conducting research. The largest single payment was $3.5 million.”

    So? He was paid for services rendered, none of which was illegal or improper, as far as I can tell.

    1. This Machine   9 years ago

      Yeah, the whole thing seems like a non-issue. I just think the media is reflexively latching onto something that resembles Hillary’s acceptance of bribes from sunny paradises like Saudi Arabia, all so they can point the finger and say, “B-B-B-But they’re doing it tooo!”

      1. WTF   9 years ago

        Hell, they will use this as an excuse to ignore Hillary’s bribe-taking through the Clinton Foundation slush fund in exchange for State Department influence.

      2. Agent Cooper   9 years ago

        Because Manafort was the Secretary of ________?

        1. This Machine   9 years ago

          That’s my point. Nothing here points to Manafort doing anything wrong, but don’t expect the media to let that get in the way of the narrative.

  9. Lord Humungus   9 years ago

    Mildred Bowers: 102-year-old woman credits beer for her long life
    She drinks a cold one every day at 4 pm, per ‘doctor’s orders’

    Mildred “Millie” Bowers will celebrate her 103rd birthday on 31 August. One of nine girls in her family, Ms Bowers survived the Great Depression and outlived two husbands. And she credits beer as one of the secrets to her longevity.

    “It’s all in the genes,” Ms Bowers told a local NBC affiliate. “I feel OK because I’m in good health.”

    She added: “Have a beer, doctor’s orders.”

    Ms Bowers got the go-ahead from her doctor to drink beer on a regular basis after sharing her love for the drink with nurses at her assisted living facility. She said the doctor immediately approved ? and now she has her pint every day at 4 pm.

    1. Swiss Servator   9 years ago

      *Adopts the Bowers Beer Health Program*

    2. Just a thought not a sermon   9 years ago

      This is 1000x better than that 120-year old abstinent Indian dude from yesterday.

    3. straffinrun   9 years ago

      It’s nice that she feels ok because she’s in good health.

    4. Zeb   9 years ago

      But what kind of beer? I need to know if we can mock her for her taste in beverages.

      1. Florida Hipster   9 years ago

        Let’s start mocking her now and get the details later. I mean, is this the Internet or isn’t it?

      2. Citizen X   9 years ago

        It just better not be IPA.

        1. Zeb   9 years ago

          You shut your goddamn fag mouth!

          1. Citizen X   9 years ago

            At least my mouth knows when things taste good, hop-head!

        2. Lord Humungus   9 years ago

          +1 Too Many Damn Hops

          1. Agent Cooper   9 years ago

            That’s what they said about Stephon Marbury.

        3. Idle Hands   9 years ago

          Has anyone ever mentioned the fact that IPA’s were invented as joke to see how fucking depraved and low people would go to seem in.

          1. Citizen X   9 years ago

            I am convinced that IPAs, like Bernie Sanders, are part of a massive prank someone is playing on hipsters.

            1. Florida Hipster   9 years ago

              IPA were invent so Brits could kill Indians. If you drink IPA you are a racist and support genocide.

              1. Zeb   9 years ago

                To be serious for a moment and ruin the joke, British style IPA is a lot less hopped. I think most people’s foolish and lack-of-taste-revealing objections are to American style IPAs.

                1. Citizen X   9 years ago

                  Yeah. There’s a local brewery here that makes an “English IPA” that is actually quite drinkable.

    5. Groovus Maximus   9 years ago

      Ms Bowers got the go-ahead from her doctor to drink beer on a regular basis after sharing her love for the drink with nurses at her assisted living facility. She said the doctor immediately approved ? and now she has her pint every day at 4 pm.

      My wife swears by this, actually. Every day, without FAIL (barring Russian invasions and first/second trimesters), exactly one shot of vodka (preferably chilled) with lunch, and exactly one glass of red wine (vintages vary) before bedtime. No more, no less.

      Using the American metrics for weekly alcohol consumption, Dr. ZG’s a raging lush. By Ru-Krainian standards, she’s rather below average.

      1. Florida Hipster   9 years ago

        I think alcohol was fucking up my triglycerides. It’s hard to tell because I lost weight by cutting my alcohol consumption. Anyways I went from 750 to 134 in two months.

        1. The Fusionist   9 years ago

          Uh, I’m not the doctor here, but that sounds significant.

          Or was that a bit of a joke?

          1. Florida Hipster   9 years ago

            No, true story. I don’t know if it was cutting alcohol or loosing the weight.

            1. The Fusionist   9 years ago

              Anyway, good to hear it, stay healthy!

            2. Groovus Maximus   9 years ago

              No, true story. I don’t know if it was cutting alcohol or loosing the weight.

              Both, most assuredly. Also does wonders for your current and future ‘BEETUS Risk Assessment.

              1. Florida Hipster   9 years ago

                I do miss my evening whiskey.

                *stares longingly at Angel’s Envy Rye*

                1. Clich? Bandit   9 years ago

                  I would like to point out my doc says if you are going to drink do it in this order:
                  best: vodka, whiskey
                  Second Best: red wine
                  third best and in worst: beer
                  dead last: silly flavored sugary stuff and rum.

        2. Groovus Maximus   9 years ago

          This is not unusual, since, oddly enough, the markers of suspected bona fide alcoholism is remarkably good cholesterol numbers.

          The downer is, as you astutely point out, is triglycerides tend to go through the roof. Wifey’s tri’s numbers are well within norms, so, like this seasoned citizen, Dr. ZG’s got the good genes (and Sod DAMN does she have good genes…droolz).

          1. Florida Hipster   9 years ago

            Did you just call me a drunk?!?

            *rips off shirt, throws arms back, leads with face*

            1. Groovus Maximus   9 years ago

              Nopers, just remarking that heavy drinkers tend to have really good cholesterol numbers as well as elevated triglycerides.

              You reported only your triglycerides, so it was wise of you to cut down imbibation of libations. Those monochromatic homebrew tats, OTOH….

              And your ass crack is showing.-D

              1. Florida Hipster   9 years ago

                Surprisingly my cholesterol numbers didn’t change that much. My HDL increased slightly, but that’s it. All the bad stuff is a few points above normal.

            2. Aloysious   9 years ago

              Leads with face?

              1. Florida Hipster   9 years ago

                Damn!

              2. Citizen X   9 years ago

                Holy shit. Takayama puts his face out there like it’s just a way to distract Frye.

          2. Zeb   9 years ago

            So you are saying I should drink more?

            1. Groovus Maximus   9 years ago

              Dunno, are you a super hawt Ru-Krainian doc or a well pickled seasoned citizen? -D

              Seriously, I dunno, haven’t seen your H/HX and lab numbers, Zebulon. Until then, “Do you think you should drink more [booze]?” is the more pertinent question here.-)

              1. Zeb   9 years ago

                Well, really I try to keep the drinking reasonable (usually 2-3 per day at most and very rarely any more than that). My father was a pretty serious alcoholic, so I want to avoid that road. But that might explain why he always had good cholesterol numbers.

      2. Aloysious   9 years ago

        Does the Mrs. have an opinion on putting freshly ground pepper in vodka? Or drinking pepper infused vodka?

        1. Groovus Maximus   9 years ago

          Yes, unbespoilt UKR vodka. No infusions, no odd ball tomfoolery, no Essence of Crusty. Just fine, fine, UKR vodka like Sod intended.

          Anything else, and she’ll slap the taste out of your mouth.

          1. Aloysious   9 years ago

            heh.
            On a side note, I listen to the John Batchelor Show Tuesday nights when Stephen F. Cohen is on. They spend an hour on Ukraine and Russia. Are you familiar with the show, and if you are familiar, do you have any thoughts/opinions on it?

            1. Groovus Maximus   9 years ago

              No, I haven’t heard of them, TBH. I may give it a listen if I have time (unlikely). One thing I can say for sure, and if Marian Tupy is any indication, tend to get a LOT of numbers and trends wrong, since they basically do not take into account the totality of UKR’s history and the nature of WHY it has seen quite a few struggles in the last 20 years. Also the fact that, try as the might, the EU, for some reason, will never fully accept them, and, because of Gazprom’s Pipelines, Russia will NEVER leave UKR alone. EVER.

              Remarkable people, overall, I do have to say. They seem to eat adversity for breakfast.

              1. Aloysious   9 years ago

                Thanks, Dr. G

                Best regards.

          2. B.P.   9 years ago

            And to follow up on Aloysious in the “Ask an Expat” category, I ran into a woman the other day in the park from the Ukraine who was very pro-Russian. That doesn’t seem right.

            1. Groovus Maximus   9 years ago

              She may be ethnically Russian, which is why she would feel that way. FTR, “ethnically Russian” is as something of a misnomer, since there are a lot of UKR nationals who are, indeed, Russian by birth and lineage. Remember, UKR’s job during the USSR was: train all the doctors, grow food, make tanks and planes, and house nuclear stuffs.

              The main determinant, and this is a byproduct of The Orange Revolution, is that when UKR broke, they had to figure out who had legit claim to land. The VR decided, since the former USSR did keep remarkably accurate birth records, to go as far back as one generation, patrilineal grandfather. Meaning, if that grandfather owned land in UKR *before* the USSR, then current family, regardless of where they were actually born, (my wife was born in Kamchatka region – but her grandfather owned land here in Odessa Oblast’)

              My wife vacillates b’twixt EU memebership and UKR joining the Customs Union (my opinon, because of Gazprom, UKR should seriously consider the Customs Union), despite what we went through in Donets’k. UKR’s record of repeated “revolutions” has not been fruitful, IMHO.

              Say what you want about Putin, he does have a specific vision for where he would like to see the RF, and is a remarkably effective leader, despite The Saudis flooding the market with oil. Sanctions really aren’t doing that much to Russia, to be honest.

            2. Groovus Maximus   9 years ago

              Correction:

              Meaning, if that grandfather owned land in UKR *before* the USSR, then current family, regardless of where they were actually born, (my wife was born in Kamchatka region – but her grandfather owned land here in Odessa Oblast’) had the legit claim to a particular area of land, free and clear. This was designed to tamp down of “Hatfield and McCoy” type fueds.

              1. B.P.   9 years ago

                Okay, that makes sense. Very comprehensive. Thanks for the reply. This woman was mostly interested in explaining to me how justified the various Russian incursions (Donetsk, Crimea, etc.) were justified. And she liked my dog. Because it’s a malamute and everyone loves malamutes.

                Also, Kamchatka. Awesome. I want to ski there.

          3. Clich? Bandit   9 years ago

            Ya know, best thing about Russian women is even the most innocent looking, dainty, or elderly gentle, Russian woman can drink shot of vodka on a whim and better than most of my fraternity brothers.

    6. mojoe   9 years ago

      Barley and hops soup, served cold. What’s not to like about that?

  10. Bee Tagger   9 years ago

    Green Party presidential candidate Jill Stein said WikiLeaks founder Julian Assange is a hero.

    PAY ATTENTION TO ME

  11. Domestic Dissident   9 years ago

    Breitbart’s Milo Yiannoupolous is launching a “Young British Heritage Society.”

    Take that Jack Dorsey and Prince Alaweed, or whatever the fuck your name is.

    1. Juice   9 years ago

      Isn’t he of Greek heritage?

  12. Pat (PM)   9 years ago

    Obama policy adviser ‘called autistic Native American man a “weetard” for wearing a Redskins sweater, spat in his face and then beat him so badly he needed THREE surgeries’

    An Obama appointee in the Department of Education allegedly insulted, spat on and savagely beat an autistic Native American man for wearing a Redskins sweater.

    Barrett Dahl, 28, says he was at a Native American gathering in Washington, DC in October 2015 when appointee William Mendoza spotted him wearing the sweater.

    ‘He comes to me and says you’re a “weetard” for wearing a Redskins shirt,’ Dahl told KFOR. ‘He says where are you from that you’re such a “weetard,” you don’t understand that you’re offending me?’

    Mendoza is of the Oglala-Sicangu Lakota people, and an appointee dealing with Native American affairs in the Department of Education.[…]

    ‘He spits right in my face,’ Dahl said.

    ‘The boy sitting next to me sees it. He doesn’t say anything. So, I get up and leave the ballroom to get the police.’

    Dahl says that’s when Mendoza approached him on an escalator and beat him so savagely he wound up with a fractured arm, broken teeth and a black eye.

    Medical bills – including three surgeries – came to $40,000, he said, and now his parents are facing foreclosure.

    1. Lee Genes   9 years ago

      Thank god nobody had an assault weapon, might have gotten violent.

    2. WTF   9 years ago

      Sad that we only find out about the violence of Obama appointees from the UK media.

    3. Tonio   9 years ago

      And where is the legacy media who would have been all over this for at least one news cycle had this been perpetrated by Ailes or Trump or someone associated with them.

    4. Drake   9 years ago

      Sounds like Mendoza is in heap big trouble.

      1. Domestic Dissident   9 years ago

        Why can’t they just sit down and smoke’um peace pipe?

    5. Mickey Rat   9 years ago

      “Racist logo inspires violence against minority.”

      -MSM

    6. Zeb   9 years ago

      What? That actually happened?

      1. Crusty Juggler   9 years ago

        I’m skeptical, but hey it slightly embarrasses Obama so I’m on board!

        Fact: If someone called me a “weetard” I would throat-punch them.

        1. Citizen X   9 years ago

          I bet you are constantly throat-punching your fellow bus passengers.

        2. Agent Cooper   9 years ago

          So, is a weetard a little tiny retard? I don’t get the insult.

      2. Illocust   9 years ago

        I was hugely skeptical too until he brought up the medical bills. Going to a hospital means records. This isn’t like Jackie, where the horrible injuries just mysteriously didn’t need treatment. So he was attacked. Hopefully someone will try to find some witnesses to the verbal confrontation. It’s an odd attack, but if they can find the evidence of the guy saying what he’s accused of that goes a long way to shoring up the guy’s story.

    7. Private Chipperbot   9 years ago

      This is why Trump is a racist.

    8. Groovus Maximus   9 years ago

      Dahl says that’s when Mendoza approached him on an escalator and beat him so savagely he wound up with a fractured arm, broken teeth and a black eye.

      WHITE PRIVILEGE ALERT!

      James Wilkinson, take the next plane to Seattle and enroll in Whitey Reeducation Camp Cultural Sensitivity Awareness effective immediately. Way to go Daily FAIL editorial staff, I thought your job was to be as PC sensitive as Britishly Possible.

    9. Rufus The Monocled   9 years ago

      Wtf?

      Quite the scumbag.

      Oh look….liberal. Move along.

      1. Citizen X   9 years ago

        Not liberal, progressive. There is a huge difference.

    10. You Sound Like a Prog (MJG)   9 years ago

      MENDOZAAAAAA!!!

      1. Swiss Servator   9 years ago

        +1

  13. Fist of Etiquette   9 years ago

    Lawyers for the former CEO of Rentboy.com, the male escort site busted by the U.S. Department of Homeland Security last summer, said he is finalizing a plea agreement with the state.

    Will it include conversion therapy?

  14. Lord Humungus   9 years ago

    Norwegians facing jail for throwing stones at Russian border

    The group, who were detained on Sunday after hurling rocks over the border from Norway’s far-northern province of Finnmark.

    “It is not only a violation of border law, but also offensive behaviour,” Tomas Pettersen, a spokesman for Finnmark police, told NRK, Norway’s public broadcaster.

    The stones did not cause any damage or hurt anyone when they landed in Russia’s Murmansk region, but the four still face a fine or up to three months in jail.

    The suspects, who range in age from their teens to their 40s, claimed they were unaware that chucking things at Russia was forbidden. Two of them admitted to the crime, Mr Pettersen said.

    You know who else chucked things at Russia…

    1. Swiss Servator   9 years ago

      The Golden Horde?

    2. WTF   9 years ago

      Napoleon?

    3. straffinrun   9 years ago

      Yeager?

    4. Slammer   9 years ago

      Charles XII?

      1. Swiss Servator   9 years ago

        -1 Poltava?

    5. Lee Genes   9 years ago

      Charles Norris?

    6. Just a thought not a sermon   9 years ago

      Finnmark population density= 4.0/sq mi

      How are there other people around who saw this happen?

      1. Tonio   9 years ago

        Either the border guards (Norway’s or Russia’s) or they bragged about it.

    7. Tonio   9 years ago

      General Ripper?

    8. Citizen X   9 years ago

      The Teutonic Knights?

    9. Groovus Maximus   9 years ago

      SMOD?

    10. Agammamon   9 years ago

      I guess they got lucky to be picked up by the Norwegian police. *Our* BP shoot people who throw rocks over the border, I can only imagine what the Russian BP would do.

    11. Agammamon   9 years ago

      Palin?

    12. Agent Cooper   9 years ago

      But some of the rocks are good people, I assume.

    13. mojoe   9 years ago

      Simo “Simuna” H?yh?, The White Death.

    14. BigT   9 years ago

      Francis Gary Powers?

  15. Bee Tagger   9 years ago

    A judge rejected Uber’s proposed $100 million settlement with California drivers, saying it low-balled the drivers’ claims.

    The low baller is a little higher?

    1. Just a thought not a sermon   9 years ago

      All my friends lowball the California drivers
      /insert trumpet/

  16. Lord Humungus   9 years ago

    Police: Amish buggy driver arrested on suspicion of DUI; 4 passengers also cited

    State Police in Punxsutawney said Wednesday they have arrested Robert Miller, 18, on suspicion of DUI while operating an Amish buggy.

    Four passengers also were cited for underage drinking, including a 16-year-old juvenile.

    Others charged include Andrew Coblentz and Raymond Kurtz, both 20, and William Byler, 18.

    According to police, they stopped the buggy on July 8 in Canoe Township, Indiana County, for a safety issue after two men were observed riding on the roof.

    1. Pat (PM)   9 years ago

      Putting the “rum” back in “rumspringa”

      1. Swiss Servator   9 years ago

        Putting the narrow back in

        *narrows gaze*

    2. spqr2008   9 years ago

      Hey, at least they didn’t try and steal Phil!

      1. Clich? Bandit   9 years ago

        Don’t drive angry!

  17. invisible furry hand   9 years ago

    It may not have set the charts alight when it was first released in 2003, but it’s entirely possible that Maps by New York art-punk outfit Yeah Yeah Yeahs has been the single most influential song of the 21st century so far.

    more

    1. Pat (PM)   9 years ago

      It’s also entirely possible that zealous fans can read the influence of their favorite artists into pretty much anything and everything that comes after it, even if the work by their favorite artist wasn’t particularly original in the first place.

    2. This Machine   9 years ago

      Huh. I remember playing it with my brothers in Rock Band. Haven’t given it much thought since then. But damn, this article was well though-out. Good find!

    3. Just a thought not a sermon   9 years ago

      Unfortunately, the most influential song ON the 21st century (though it was actually released in 1998) was Cher’s Believe, which was the first big song to use autotune as an effect.

      1. Agent Cooper   9 years ago

        It’s also the Gay National Anthem.

    4. Lord Humungus   9 years ago

      who?

    5. Citizen X   9 years ago

      “Maps” is good and that whole album is fun, but i still like “Y Control” better.

      1. GILMORE?   9 years ago

        those are the 2 best songs on the record, to be sure.

    6. ant1sthenes   9 years ago

      So they’re reason music sucks now? Thank goodness, I was worried I was getting old.

    7. B.P.   9 years ago

      Yeah Yeah Yeahs are unlistenable shit that people pretend to like.

    8. GILMORE?   9 years ago

      If it was so goddamn influential, why do all the other bands sound like shit?

      (*I am a YYY fan; though i think she’s the most interesting singer of the 2000s, it can wear you out quick)

  18. Fist of Etiquette   9 years ago

    A Ukrainian lawmaker backed up allegations that a Kremlin-backed Ukranian political party paid Paul Manafort, former Trump campaign chair, “to finance services such as carrying out exit polls at elections, buying computers and conducting research. The largest single payment was $3.5 million.”

    The real scandal is this puts to shame any payments the Clinton Foundation received and Manafort didn’t even have the State Department at his disposal.

    1. WTF   9 years ago

      Well, the Clinton Slush Fund Foundation got $25 million from the Russians just before Hillary’s State Department approved the uranium deal, so Manafort is still a piker. And of course he was doing private work as a private citizen in exchange for pay, which is not quite the same as selling State Dept. influence. But of course Manafort is the real “scandal”, while Hillary’s antics coordinating State and Clinton Foundation is no big deal.

  19. Lord Humungus   9 years ago

    Is the Metro Vancouver real estate market in free fall?

    “The market in West Van is up 450 per cent since 2001. So is everyone making 600 per cent more income than they were so they can pay their taxes and buy their houses? Of course not. So how is this inflation been financed? By off-shore money and record debt.”

    And while Eilers says the slow-down is at least partly due to the implementation of the Metro Vancouver foreign buyer tax on July 25, which has caused a firestorm of anecdotal evidence saying it has killed the housing market, he adds sales were dropping even before the tax.

    According to the data, July was another slow month in West Vancouver with only 44 sales, down from 80 in 2015. June saw 74 sales, also down from 102 the year before.

    1. Shirley Knott   9 years ago

      Prices. How do they work again?
      sheesh, the stupid, it burns.

    2. Rhywun   9 years ago

      Foreigners are just parking all their money in Manhattan instead. No free fall there.

    3. The Fusionist   9 years ago

      Do these people laugh at Trump supporters for being xenophobic Yanks?

      1. rts   9 years ago

        Yes. Yes they do.

        The cognitive dissonance is astounding here.

    4. Agent Cooper   9 years ago

      Whoops!

  20. Slammer   9 years ago

    Armed and Aging: Should Seniors Face Tighter Gun Controls?

    Older Americans have the highest gun ownership rates in the United States, with firearms in 40 percent of households headed by someone age 50 or older, according to the Pew Research Center.

    While lawmakers in most states have enacted laws requiring motorists to prove their proficiency behind the wheel as they grow older, the idea of enacting such competency tests for gun owners hasn’t proven popular. Still, for Frattaroli, it comes down to a simple risks-and-benefits assessment.

    “Older adults need to consider the risk whether an actual home invasion is likely to occur, versus the likelihood that the [older] person would use that gun to do harm to themselves, or a grandchild would find that gun, or they would harm someone coming into the home who’s not there for a home invasion, someone there for a legitimate purpose like a caretaker,” she said.

    1. Slammer   9 years ago

      State lawmakers in California recently offered a unique solution that could appease both sides: the gun violence restraining order. The statewide policy, which went into effect Jan. 1, 2016, is based on the domestic violence restraining-order system, in which concerned citizens can turn to the courts for help, said Frattaroli, who serves as associate director for outreach for Johns Hopkins University’s Center for Injury Research and Policy.

      Specifically, the gun violence restraining order addresses concerns a loved one or neighbor might have about someone experiencing any crisis?whether an age-related ailment like dementia or something else like job loss or a spouse’s death?that might prompt them to harm themselves or others with a gun, Frattaroli said.

      A judge can order police to remove the guns for up to a year, as well as prohibit the troubled citizen from buying new guns, she added.

      1. WTF   9 years ago

        Because of course any constitutional right can be suspended or revoked without due process. Because FYTW.
        I wonder if anyone would object if this standard was applied to abortion.

      2. Just a thought not a sermon   9 years ago

        If I had an elderly person in my neighborhood whose house I wanted to rob, I would be very interested in seeing this law pass.

      3. OneOut   9 years ago

        That’s some double plus goodthink right there.

      4. Glide   9 years ago

        “Older adults need to consider the risk…”

        I totally agree.

        Now why the fuck are you equating “people need to consider the risk” to “top men need to consider the risk and decide for people?

    2. Pat (PM)   9 years ago

      Uncle Junior was just the tip of the iceberg.

    3. Zeb   9 years ago

      No. No one should even know if someone has a gun at all.

    4. Tonio   9 years ago

      the [older] person would use that gun to do harm to themselves

      Because that person’s life belongs to the state, not himself.

      1. RBS   9 years ago

        “If I got old there is no way I would have the self control to not hurt myself.”

      2. Pat (PM)   9 years ago

        When the government refuses to pay for your medical treatment, you will live out every second of your quality-adjusted life years, behind bars if need be, before we let you buy a gun and kill yourself.

  21. Princess Trigger   9 years ago

    The Niger Delta Avengers are threatening to declare independence.
    http://punchng.com/declare-rep…..-avengers/

    Everyone gets a Cape.

    1. Lee Genes   9 years ago

      NIGER TWIN POWERS ACTIVATE!

      1. Rhywun   9 years ago

        Form of… an internet spam ring!

        1. Citizen X   9 years ago

          +419

    2. $park? is totally a Swifty   9 years ago

      Do they all speak jive?

      1. mojoe   9 years ago

        Sshhhhiiitttt. (Golly)

    3. Just a thought not a sermon   9 years ago

      Still better than the Great Lakes Avengers?

      1. thrakkorzog   9 years ago

        Not unless Squirrel Girl is involved. After all, nothing beats Squirrel Girl.

    4. straffinrun   9 years ago

      That’s a good hope.

    5. The Fusionist   9 years ago

      I hope nobody says makes any stupid jokes like “Niger, please.”

  22. Lord Humungus   9 years ago

    Soros Organization Tried To Influence Supreme Court Ruling On Illegal Immigration

    “Grantees are seeking to influence the Justices (primarily via a sophisticated amicus briefs and media strategy) in hopes of securing a favorable ruling in U.S. v Texas,” the memo notes. A “favorable ruling” from the Court would have upheld President Obama’s executive order, a scenario which the organization was preparing for, according to the memo.

    “We are also seeking to shore up state and local infrastructure through Emma Lazarus II investments, positioning the field to move swiftly on a large-scale implementation effort in the event of a favorable ruling?efforts complicated by lagging implementation capacity at the federal level.”

    The memo also states the organization’s interest in possible “collaborations with Arab, Muslim, Middle Eastern and South Asian partners.”

    1. Swiss Servator   9 years ago

      Shriek furiously jacks to this article.

    2. Lee Genes   9 years ago

      The question is how he tried to influence it.

    3. paranoid android   9 years ago

      I don’t have any desire to defend Soros, but “a sophisticated amicus briefs and media strategy” is the most boring and least nefarious thing a public policy outfit could possibly do to “influence the court”.

  23. Slammer   9 years ago

    If anyone wants to help pets and animals affected by Louisiana flooding please go here.

    1. $park? is totally a Swifty   9 years ago

      Please be a Chinese restaurant. Please be a Chinese restaurant…

      Awwww

  24. Lord Humungus   9 years ago

    Bergdahl Desperately Wanted To Be A Russian Mob Hitman

    “He mentioned his plan would be to go through Pakistan and into India and join the Russian mob,” then-Pfc. Shane Cross, a fellow soldier of Bergdahl’s, told Army investigators in an affidavit. “Prior to the deployment he had claimed to speak Russian, that he had learned while working on a fishing boat that traveled to Europe. He also mentioned that he wouldn’t want any tattoos, because they would be identifiable marks on his body.”

    Cross did not take Bergdahl’s mention of joining the mob seriously.

    And then all of a sudden, Bergdahl disappeared on June 30, 2009, at about midnight. He had spilled his plan to Cross the morning before, San Antonio Express-News reports.

    1. Illocust   9 years ago

      So he’s a complete moron desperate for excitement in his life, but unaware that every life has lots of boring bits.

  25. Mazakon   9 years ago

    Jill Stein’s Statement about Harambe

    The killing of Harambe at the Cincinnati Zoo highlights the need to adopt stronger legal protections for the rights of animals, especially primates.

    Other countries, especially in Europe, have begun to provide legal rights and protected status to primates as living beings. Non human primates should have the legal right to live freely or, when necessary, in sanctuaries only for medical rehabilitation or ecological assistance for endangered species.

    Harambe was killed by a zoo which raises revenues by selling tickets to see captive animals, including primates. While good emergency staff training might have prevented such a catastrophic outcome, the Green Party believes that captivity for such entertainment is ethically wrong and fundamentally exploitive and should be illegal.

    1. Citizen X   9 years ago

      Zoos also educate and familiarize people with animals that they would otherwise have no connection with, as well as preserving species that can’t currently be kept from extinction in the wild, Jill, you ass.

    2. Glide   9 years ago

      especially primates

      That’s speciesist!

    3. The Fusionist   9 years ago

      I bet she’s “prochoice.”

    4. lafe.long   9 years ago

      +1 Jerry Was a Man

  26. Lord Humungus   9 years ago

    Meet Aleppo’s ‘Moderate,’ ‘Secular’ ‘Rebels’: Al-Qaeda and the Muslim Brotherhood

    As Tom explains, two coalitions are spearheading the campaign that has enjoyed recent success against the regime in Aleppo. The first is headed up by al-Qaeda and goes by the name Jaysh al-Fath (Army of Conquest). The al-Qaeda franchise in Syria, until recently known as al-Nusrah, has rebranded itself as Jabhat Fath al-Sham (JFS). It has a close alliance with a group called Ahrar al-Sham (Ahrar), which includes many al-Qaeda veterans and (as Tom notes) models itself after the Taliban (al-Qaeda’s close ally in Afghanistan). JFS and Ahrar run the Jaysh al-Fath coalition, which includes sundry other jihadist militias long affiliated with the al-Qaeda terror network.

    Al-Qaeda is well aware of the West’s myopic focus on ISIS (the Islamic State ? the al-Qaeda splinter group that began as al-Qaeda in Iraq). This myopia has the U.S. government and much of the commentariat turning a blind eye to other anti-American Islamists, even absurdly labeling them “moderates,” as long as they are not part of ISIS.

    1. Lee Genes   9 years ago

      That’s funny coming from NR.

  27. invisible furry hand   9 years ago

    Gawker goes dark, but its impact on Scientology ? and Tom Cruise ? will never be forgotten

  28. Lord Humungus   9 years ago

    I don’t need air conditioning, and neither do you

    Air conditioning is not sultry or mysterious. It has no place in pulp fiction or film noir. The movie “Body Heat” is set in a small Florida town in 1981 yet is completely devoid of central air, which manages to make absolutely everything seem sexy ? ice cubes, sweat, even wind chimes, which are generally just annoying.

    There are positive aspects of going without. Fewer house guests. More dinner invitations. That humble-bragging business. Showers. I can’t tell you how rewarding showers feel. And ice cream tastes way better.

    Air conditioning made Americans greedy and silly. Once the country got hooked on central air, strange things materialized: windows that don’t open, the office sweater in August, summer colds, Las Vegas, football in Phoenix.

    1. Idle Hands   9 years ago

      what a weetard.

      1. Swiss Servator   9 years ago

        *applauds*

    2. Pat (PM)   9 years ago

      I personally enjoy the smell of sweaty asscracks on the subway in 105 degree heat with 85% humidity, and you should too!

      1. Hoof Hearted   9 years ago

        Joachim Low approves this message.

    3. Drake   9 years ago

      My family lives without air conditioning, except…

      Nice try.

    4. Lee Genes   9 years ago

      The movie “Body Heat” is set in a small Florida town in 1981 yet is completely devoid of central air, which manages to make absolutely everything seem sexy

      Uh, I think young Kathleen Turner had something to do with that.

      1. Mickey Rat   9 years ago

        And the audience was sitting in an air conditioned theater, not in 90 F, 90% RH environment. It is easy to romanticize something that you are experiencing the worst aspects of.

        1. Mickey Rat   9 years ago

          “not experiencing”

      2. Lord Humungus   9 years ago

        Let’s check in to see how KT is looking now.
        http://famouscelebsurgery.net/…..-After.jpg

        1. Lee Genes   9 years ago

          Dude, not cool.

        2. Red Rocks Okey-Dokein   9 years ago

          Christ, when the hell did she turn into Meatloaf’s twin sister?

          1. invisible furry hand   9 years ago

            rheumatoid arthritis and alcoholism played merry hell with her

            1. Agent Cooper   9 years ago

              Yeah. Life happens.

    5. Zeb   9 years ago

      I’m not a fan of AC myself (except in the car). I want the windows open all summer.

      But I don’t live in Florida.

      1. Private Chipperbot   9 years ago

        Same, but Michigan has been cooking this summer.

    6. Mickey Rat   9 years ago

      Old folks not dying of heat stroke.

    7. Florida Hipster   9 years ago

      I grew up without AC in Jacksonville and it led to me barely wearing clothes. Is that what you want? More mostly naked Florida men?

      1. Zeb   9 years ago

        Makes Florida Man easier to identify.

        1. Agent Cooper   9 years ago

          Does it? The standard uniform is cut off jorts and flip flops. Maybe a baseball hat … where would you go from there?

          1. Zeb   9 years ago

            I mean “Florida Man” as the general class, not our FLorida Man.

      2. Groovus Maximus   9 years ago

        I grew up without AC in Jacksonville and it led to me barely wearing clothes. Is that what you want? More mostly naked Florida men?

        jesse.in.mb and Tonio, pehaps you both would like to give His Methness some….input…on this?-)

        1. straffinrun   9 years ago

          Guess Rhywun doesn’t count eh?

          1. Crusty Juggler   9 years ago

            He isn’t that gay.

          2. Groovus Maximus   9 years ago

            I like and respect Rhywun way too much to bespoil himself with Florida Man, he deserves better. Besides, Rhywun doesn’t like ACE of BASE, and I’ve never forgiven him for it.-)

            1. straffinrun   9 years ago

              You respect him but have never forgiven him? Guess he had it coming.

            2. Florida Hipster   9 years ago

              I’m not here to be ogled by gay men!

              *adjust cut off jeans to show top of butt crack*

            3. Rhywun   9 years ago

              Rhywun doesn’t like ACE of BASE

              I don’t?

              1. Groovus Maximus   9 years ago

                Yeppers, I remember you commenting here, years ago, that, and I quote, “ACE of BASE is shite!”

                Rhywun|5.1.10 @ 1:30AM|#

                Why? Because I’m a 41-year-old gay man? That’s like racist or something. Or just a totally accurate stereotype.
                report spam

                Groovus Maximus|5.1.10 @ 2:28AM|#

                Totally accurate stereotype. I suspect you love ABBA too. And Ace of Base.
                report spam

                Rhywun|5.1.10 @ 3:40AM|#

                How did we get from Norway to Sweden all of a sudden? Well, Sweden fares a bit better than Norway by being the current center of twee-ish indie or “noise” pop that appeals to Gen-X fags such as myself 🙂 Check out The Legends – good stuff.

                PS. “Dancing Queen” is a brilliant pop song – and I’ll straight-bash anyone who claims otherwise.

                PPS. Ace of Base is shite and I doubt anyone here will disagree.

                (emphasis mine)

                1. Rhywun   9 years ago

                  “It’s shite” and “I like it” are not necessarily contradictory statements…

                  1. Groovus Maximus   9 years ago

                    “It’s shite” and “I like it” are not necessarily contradictory statements…

                    Indeed, but you *never* said you *liked* ACE of BASE in that thread (at least here on Reason, to be fair). I’m still a fan of them, still disagree they are “shite”, and all that 90’s Euro Synth Pop Dance goodness has actually aged quite well, IMHO.

                    So, iffen you do like ’em, be loud and proud in your endorsement, Rhywun.-)

                    1. Rhywun   9 years ago

                      No, I have to admit I don’t much care for them either way. And my library has lots of Euro-synth-trash in it. Perhaps it was just a matter of timing.

                    2. Heroic Mulatto   9 years ago

                      When it comes to Eurocrap from that era, I was always more on the EDM tip.

                  2. Groovus Maximus   9 years ago

                    PS

                    You’re 100% correct about ABBA, BTW.

      3. Crusty Juggler   9 years ago

        I too spent most of my young adult life without AC, albeit in New York.

        1. bacon-magic   9 years ago

          Agile Cyborg? So that’s a would for you, got it.

        2. Rhywun   9 years ago

          Never had AC growing up upstate – only the well-off had it for the handful of summer days you really needed it.

          When I moved to NYC the first thing I bought was an air conditioner. We may only need it for a few weeks a year but man it is really unpleasant without it.

      4. Brett L   9 years ago

        Definitely need to remove the “no shirt” health code prohibitions.

    8. thrakkorzog   9 years ago

      From my bloated dead hands, you can take my AC way from me.

    9. Lord Humungus   9 years ago

      My current house doesn’t have AC – the one company I talked to wants to upgrade the electric box first so I declined… for now. The $5k price tag is money I want to spend on some other things.

      Michigan is only really hot for a few weeks out of the year. It’s hell upstairs when the temp is 90+ (the humidity!) but the nights are usually cool enough so a fan is usually enough. And the bi-level means the main living area remains relatively cool since its half-buried in the ground.

      1. thrakkorzog   9 years ago

        Some of us don’t live in areas where we can expect the annual freeze to kill the wealk, so we like AC.

    10. Brett L   9 years ago

      Go jump up your own sweaty ass, fuckstick.

    11. Just a thought not a sermon   9 years ago

      Body Heat is definitely one of the sweatiest movies of all time, though I think Cool Hand Luke has it beat. In the Heat of the Night is also a contender.

      1. thrakkorzog   9 years ago

        Wasn’t that an argument from Cheers? About the sweatiest movie of all time. And the answer is Spartacus.

        1. Rhywun   9 years ago

          Any movie made before circa 1985 looks like the sweatiest movie of all time to me. Someone here mentioned it’s because of lighting technology.

      2. Lord Humungus   9 years ago

        Sorcerer is pretty damn sweaty.

      3. Agent Cooper   9 years ago

        Bridge on the River Kwai.

      4. You Sound Like a Prog (MJG)   9 years ago

        I recall A Time To Kill being sweaty as balls.

    12. Lee Genes   9 years ago

      Tell it to all the dead French elderly every hot summer.

      1. Agammamon   9 years ago

        That’s one of those ‘positive aspects’. These people would have just been a drain on the French healthcare system anyway.

    13. Sevo   9 years ago

      “There are positive aspects of going without.”

      I think I saw a link to this guy’s line of designer hair-shirts the other day.

    14. OneOut   9 years ago

      As someone who has lived most of his life on the Texas Gulf Coast and who has managed some years without wearing long pants even for a day I propose the Weetard Yankee live with out heat in his house.

      Oil and GMO corn burning furnaces are an affront to Gaia;

      1. Heroic Mulatto   9 years ago

        You don’t know much about us up here if you don’t think supercilious dick-measuring about “Well, I just put on a sweater” doesn’t occur during the winter months.

    15. ant1sthenes   9 years ago

      Well, that’s probably technically true. I don’t need it, I just want it.

  29. Chip Woodier   9 years ago

    The Federal Election Commission is taking a stand against fake presidential candidates

    Fakey McFakeface hardest hit.

  30. Longtorso, Johnny   9 years ago

    Reblog: Research find that as a group, only men pay tax
    …Overall, the research suggests that male taxpayers are the only ones to ever have a positive contribution in taxes. Based on Figure 17, the closest that the average woman will come to having a positive fiscal incidence is when she is at minus $50,000 around 55 years of age. While feminists are demonizing men for benefiting from all liberties and rights they have constructed, they have oddly remained silent over the fact that anonymous male tax payers are paying women to exist. Read that sentence again.

    The fact that feminists want a stronger government is not a coincidence. While historically, women had to choose a wealthy husband for resources, they can now stay single, be lesbians, marry a poor man, or use the sperm bank, and the state will still transfer male taxes to them. Interestingly, within 10 years of women’s suffrage, the government doubled their tax revenue and expenditure in the USA….

    1. Longtorso, Johnny   9 years ago

      Today is ‘Equal Pay Day’; the next ‘Equal Occupational Fatality Day’ will occur on April 17, 2023
      …Based on the most recent Bureau of Labor Statistics (BLS) data on workplace fatalities for 2011 (and assuming those fatality data will be similar in 2012), an “Equal Occupational Fatality Day” can be calculated. As in previous years, the chart above shows the significant gender disparity in workplace fatalities: 4,234 men died on the job (92% of the total) in 2011 compared to only 375 women (8% of the total). The “gender occupational fatality gap” in 2011 was considerable ? more than 11 men died on the job for every woman who died while working….

    2. Zeb   9 years ago

      the research suggests that male taxpayers are the only ones to ever have a positive contribution in taxes

      No it doesn’t.

      1. Longtorso, Johnny   9 years ago

        I feel so refuted. Are you contesting the numbers (they could have screwed that up; they’re human), or just rejecting the conclusion out of hand?

        1. tarran   9 years ago

          My wife pays far more in taxes than she gets from the government. It’s not even close.

          Therefore the statement “male taxpayers are the only ones to ever have a positive contribution in taxes” is falsified.

        2. Zeb   9 years ago

          Seems obvious, but I’ll spell it out. It doesn’t suggest that only men make a positive contribution in taxes, but rather that on average, women don’t. Which is a very different claim.

          1. paranoid android   9 years ago

            Silly Zeb, why treat people like individuals when you can lazily and arbitrarily collectivize them instead?

      2. ant1sthenes   9 years ago

        I believe the “in aggregate” was implied, per the headline quoted.

        1. Zeb   9 years ago

          Then they shouldn’t have made the ridiculous statement that I responded to. People are dumb enough about interpreting statistics without being deliberately misled.

  31. Slammer   9 years ago

    There’s a new Metallica song…but fuck that. Here’s the new Darkthrone.

    1. Zeb   9 years ago

      Metallica? I thought they died or something.

      Every time I listen to Metallica now I think “why are they playing so slow”?

      1. Citizen X   9 years ago

        Every time i listen to Metallica now, i actually listen to something else instead.

        I will never forgive Lars Ulrich for the Napster thing.

        1. Zeb   9 years ago

          Yeah, what a bunch of whiny little bitches. They had their moments, though.

        2. Rasilio   9 years ago

          Seriously, the one band in history that benefitted most from bootleg casette tapes going from glorified garage band to the biggest music act in the world largely on the strength of those bootlegs because they couldn’t get radio air play suing their fans for bootlegging music because it somehow costs them money?

          Go die in a fire assholes

          1. Rhywun   9 years ago

            Well, that happened well after their only music that matters so I don’t hold it against them.

            1. Citizen X   9 years ago

              It doesn’t matter – bands can and frequently do retroactively erase any goodwill that might be due them by engaging in stupid shit. I could still fondly remember Weezer’s first two albums if they had dropped off the face of the earth in about 1999, but fucking “Island in the Sun” alone casts such a long shadow of suck that there’s not even the cheap fun of nostalgia when their old stuff comes on the radio.

              1. Rhywun   9 years ago

                Huh, I had to look that up and be reminded how much I hated “Hash Pipe” the first time I heard it.

                Yet, Pinkerton remains one of my favorite albums of that era. It’s helps that I only own the first two albums – it makes it easy to pretend the rest don’t exist.

                1. Citizen X   9 years ago

                  Pinkerton still holds up fairly well, so of course that’s the album that Rivers Cuomo has disavowed and refuses to perform songs from ever again. He’s not embarrassed by “Beverly Hills,” though?

                  1. Citizen X   9 years ago

                    Whoa, my tag-closing skills just did a pretty good impression of Weezer’s career trajectory.

    2. Juice   9 years ago

      Crap.

  32. Lord Humungus   9 years ago

    Crazy Theory: This Year the Right Is Winning the Culture Wars

    “How can you say that? There’s still filth on television! Everybody mocks Christians and celebrates depravity! Political correctness is on the march! Starbucks is still using plain red cups at Christmastime!” Six pieces of evidence?

    1. Notice what Target stores just did. Target Corp. said it will spend $20 million to add a private bathroom to each of its stores by next year, after customer protests of its policy allowing transgender individuals to use whichever restroom corresponds with their gender identity.

    2. Caitlyn Jenner’s reality show ‘I Am Cait’ just got canceled.

    3. Ghostbusters – Those rowdy, supportive crowds failed to materialize in sufficient numbers, despite the controversy and a major advertising campaign

    4. A backlash from alumni is an unexpected aftershock of the campus disruptions of the last academic year. Although fund-raisers are still gauging the extent of the effect on philanthropy, some colleges ? particularly small, elite liberal arts institutions ? have reported a decline in donations, accompanied by a laundry list of complaints.

    5. The University of Missouri, where the high-profile, racially-charged student protests gave the school a reputation that is deterring interest in potential students.

    6. Gawker is shutting down.

    1. Zeb   9 years ago

      Everybody mocks Christians and celebrates depravity!

      And yet we remain the most devoutly Christian country in the industrialized world.

      Culture war makes everyone dumber.

    2. commodious needs a drink   9 years ago

      Progressives drive knife after knife into cultural conservatism, and Geraghty is happy they managed to deflect a couple punches. I have to think he’s being tongue-in-cheek. I listen to his podcast, which is a newsy rundown of the day’s major stories, mostly political. He’s a pretty sardonic guy.

    3. Juice   9 years ago

      But that’s not “the right” winning anything. That’s the middle getting sick of the culture war.

    4. ant1sthenes   9 years ago

      I think the right is probably making headway on the cultural side of the cultural wars, because the progressives decided to go full retard, and the majority tend to be relatively tolerant, but conservative (in the “wary of social change” sense, not the Santorum sense). But that doesn’t mean they’re winning much on the “state violence” side of the culture wars, which is going to cause problems if the disconnect between state culture and popular culture continues to grow and state action continues to become more and more punitive. The difference between self-rule and foreign rule is more of an intuitive thing, not an objective one, and people are going to notice that their rulers are utterly alien even if they are nominally part of the same society.

      1. ant1sthenes   9 years ago

        But I agree with Juice, the middle is pushing back, not the right. It’s just that middleward and rightward happen to be the same at the moment.

    5. You Sound Like a Prog (MJG)   9 years ago

      I’ll assume this is sarc.

    6. Illocust   9 years ago

      Less winning, more the progs got so much power that they can propose things that have no appeal to anyone not in an academic bubble.

  33. Longtorso, Johnny   9 years ago

    Hard Times in Venezuela Breed Malaria as Desperate Flock to Mines – The New York Times
    As a computer technician from a big city, Mr. Balocha was ill-suited for the mines, his soft hands used to working keyboards, not the earth. But Venezuela’s economy collapsed on so many levels that inflation had obliterated his salary, along with his hopes of preserving a middle-class life.

    So, like tens of thousands of other people from across the country, Mr. Balocha came to these open, swampy mines scattered across the jungle, looking for a future. Here, waiters, office workers, taxi drivers, college graduates and even civil servants on vacation from their government jobs are out panning for black-market gold, all under the watchful eyes of an armed group that taxes them and threatens to tie them to posts if they disobey.

    It is a society turned upside down, a place where educated people abandon once-comfortable jobs in the city for dangerous, backbreaking work in muddy pits, desperate to make ends meet. And it comes with a steep price: Malaria, long driven to the fringes of the country, is festering in the mines and back with a vengeance.

    1. Drake   9 years ago

      Equality achieved!

    2. Illocust   9 years ago

      Fucking hell, if things get that bad leave the damn country. Seriously, being an illegal in America is ten times safer and less hard.

  34. Lord Humungus   9 years ago

    Schwarzenegger says he wants world to be fitter

    Arnold Schwarzenegger says being a bodybuilding champion, movie star and governor of California is not enough – he wants people to be fit too.

    Schwarzenegger was unveiling the inaugural Arnold Classic Asia Multi-Sport Festival in Hong Kong.

    The event, which will run until Sunday, features a range of activities such as fencing, bodybuilding, rugby, yoga, weightlifting, arm wrestling, chess and solving Rubik’s cube puzzles.

    “To me, it was not only important to be a bodybuilding champion and to do movies and to be the governor, but also to use my power of influence to promote health and fitness all over the world,” Schwarzenegger told reporters.

    1. Pat (PM)   9 years ago

      When I was in the 1st grade we watched some cheesball fitness tape with Arnold Schwarzenegger during PE class. It was pretty cool, because watching the tape ate up about half the class so we didn’t have to run…

      1. Swiss Servator   9 years ago

        http://miserabledonuts.blogspo…..ay_14.html

      2. Lord Humungus   9 years ago

        No homoerotic Pumping Iron video?

      3. Zeb   9 years ago

        Why do so many people hate gym class. Gym was awesome.

        1. invisible furry hand   9 years ago

          Because they weren’t classes in which one learnt anything – they were organised play for stroppy teenage girls who knew this had no effect on our chances to get into a good university. Also I was taught by a humourless self-loathing butch lesbian who couldn’t articulate why we should give a shit. She also slept with one of my classmates.

          1. Lee Genes   9 years ago

            I’m detecting some bitterness from the hand.

            1. invisible furry hand   9 years ago

              Always bitter about having my time wasted

              1. Agammamon   9 years ago

                I was hoping it was bitterness over not being the one the teacher slept with.

              2. Clich? Bandit   9 years ago

                strangely I wish to hear more about your gym class.

        2. Pat (PM)   9 years ago

          At recess we played basketball and tetherball from the time the bell rang until they dragged us back into the building and probably got at least double the cardiovascular workout we did in gym class at that age. For me it was the being forced to do boring, repetitive exercises. Plus I’ve always hated running. And cardio in general. To this day I’d rather lift weights for 3 hours than do 10 minutes of cardio.

          1. Zeb   9 years ago

            I guess I had better gym classes and teachers.

            I actually liked high school gym class the best, since I figured out that I could be fairly competent at a lot of athletics. And we got to do archery. My favorite rule from archery was that if you shot someone, you had to keep them from pulling the arrow out before the ambulance arrived.

            1. Lord Humungus   9 years ago

              My mom’s school – suburb of Chicago – had a shooting range in the basement.

              And she had Harrison Ford in her school.

          2. Lord Humungus   9 years ago

            To this day I’d rather lift weights for 3 hours than do 10 minutes of cardio

            Me too.

            And back then I was a non-athletic klutz who couldn’t shoot hoops, hit a baseball, or run very fast (I was all gawk) compared to many of the other kids. I was distinctly more on the uh, intellectual side.

            Now I love exercising – go figure. Wish I had gotten into weightlifting when I was younger instead of my middle-age pursuit.

            1. This Machine   9 years ago

              And back then I was a non-athletic klutz who couldn’t shoot hoops, hit a baseball, or run very fast (I was all gawk) compared to many of the other kids. I was distinctly more on the uh, intellectual side.

              Ha, same here. I look at pictures of myself from high school and think, “Holy shit, what a string bean.” Didn’t start lifting until my second year of college, then forgot about it again not long after graduation. Only just started up again about a couple months ago, and now it’s my favorite part of the day.

          3. Crusty Juggler   9 years ago

            Today is “sprint day” at the gym. Quarter-mile sprints! You know you are jealous.

            1. Zeb   9 years ago

              Quarter mile sprints? I think I’m good for about 50 yards at this point.

              1. Zeb   9 years ago

                Unless I drink exactly 3.5 beers. Then I’m still a super-athlete.

    2. Mickey Rat   9 years ago

      How does solving a Rubik’s cube fit in with a fitness event?

      1. Heroic Mulatto   9 years ago

        Dexterity

  35. Longtorso, Johnny   9 years ago

    New emails highlight ties between White House and Google
    …The Campaign for Accountability published emails it obtained, which was first reported on by The Verge. The emails detail a brief exchange between White House internet advisor R. David Edelman and Google lobbyist Johanna Shelton.

    In the correspondence on Jan. 3, 2013, Edelman writes to Shelton, “I hear big news is coming out momentarily,” referring to the Federal Trade Commission’s (FTC) decision on whether to pursue an antitrust suit against Google.
    “Do you have the release and any accompanying materials from Google’s side?” Edelman asked, adding, “Obviously lots of interest here at the WH.”…

  36. Longtorso, Johnny   9 years ago

    Chris Cuomo: Media Has Given Hillary A ‘Free Ride’

    1. WTF   9 years ago

      Thanks for stating the obvious there, Chris.

      1. Sevo   9 years ago

        Hey! At least he noticed!

  37. Sevo   9 years ago

    I hope this isn’t paywalled:

    “California’s electric car program may be running out of gas”
    […]
    “”The program is in dire need of a tuneup,” said Simon Mui, director of the Natural Resources Defense Council’s clean-vehicle efforts in California. “It won’t be delivering as many vehicles as the state wants.”
    According to an analysis by the the defense council, the program will lead to only 1 million cars by 2025 ? well below the state’s goal.”
    http://www.sfchronicle.com/bus…..172190.php

    Musk opens hi bottle of whines in there, too; poor baby only made $57M this year peddling the green certs we hand him
    There’s to be a meeting and I’m sure the apparatchicks will come up with a new 5-year-plan, and this time we’ll get gym shoes that fit!

    1. invisible furry hand   9 years ago

      Jesus, Sevo, have you tried to get by on only $57M a year?

  38. DEG   9 years ago

    I’m still in the waiting room waiting for my car. On the TV, second anti-Kelly Ayotte ad which references the Koch Brothers. Winning argument there!

    I’ve seen three separate anti-Kelly Ayotte ads. One referencing her support of Trump, and the other two Koch brothers.

    Only one pro-Kelly Ayotte ad. The pro-Kelly Ayotte ad actually has good reasons to not vote for her. Things like making Social Security stronger.

    1. Zeb   9 years ago

      It is interesting how often political ads have the opposite of the apparent intended effect on me.

    2. Drake   9 years ago

      Yes – seems like every attack ad I see makes me want to vote for the person being attacked. I see them all the time in the NY media.

      He cut funding for seniors, police, and schools! He’s against banning assault weapons and won’t close the gun-show loophole!

      Me: I wish I lived in his district so I could vote for this guy, I like the way he thinks.

      1. DEG   9 years ago

        A guy at work mentioned hearing an anti-Romney ad back when in 2012. “This ad says Romney is going to do all these horrible things, but I think they’re pretty good things. If I thought Romney would actually do them, I’d vote for him!”

        1. Isaac Bartram   9 years ago

          I remember an ad in 1996 that said I should vote for Clinton because Bob Dole had voted against Medicare, the Department of Education and some other liberal legacy*.

          I was kind of liking Dole by the time they were done..

          *probably that Dole wanted to take the geezers’ Social Security away, which wasn’t true but which has been a perennial favorite Democrat accusation against Republicans.

  39. Glide   9 years ago

    Trolls are “turning the web into a cesspool of aggression and violence”

    Lol at present tense.

    1. Lord Humungus   9 years ago

      a cesspool of aggression and violence

      Warty’s Dungeon?

      1. Citizen X   9 years ago

        Warty’s dungeon is more of an “abyss of brutality and despair.”

        1. Groovus Maximus   9 years ago

          +1 The Sound of Ultimate Suffering

  40. straffinrun   9 years ago

    The kid’s bedtime has been upped to 10 so it’s either no bedtime story or no AM (PM) links for me from tomorrow. Choices. Choices.

    1. Zeb   9 years ago

      Just read the kid excerpts from the comments.

      1. Pat (PM)   9 years ago

        Read them twice if you have to…

      2. Lord Humungus   9 years ago

        +1 Warty and the Magic Bear bedtime story

      3. Rasilio   9 years ago

        That works especially well if it is SugarFree Story day

    2. Pat (PM)   9 years ago

      Read the posts from the lynx to the kid as a bed time story. Problem solved.

    3. invisible furry hand   9 years ago

      Lynx are a bedtime story, and a wonderful teachable moment for your bairns

      1. straffinrun   9 years ago

        I tweek the endings of fairy tales to give them a liberty spin. Seriously. She loves most of them. She didn’t really like Jack and the Slave Stock.

        1. Crusty Juggler   9 years ago

          “and then the government passed laws that strengthened their monopoly, and his successful mail company was put out of business. Goodnight!”

          1. straffinrun   9 years ago

            So, basically this? Have it in hardcover and she loves it.

        2. Citizen X   9 years ago

          “And then while the train was stopped in the tunnel, all of the passengers asphyxiated, but they deserved it because they all worked for the government in some way whether they realized it or not. The end.”

        3. The Fusionist   9 years ago

          “And some people say that the vengeful ghost of Woodrow Wilson still walks around at night, seeking naughty little boys and girls to drag away into the deep underground vaults of the Federal Reserve. Sweet dreams!”

      2. mojoe   9 years ago

        …and then the 3rd Little Pig’s house was torn down because he hadn’t pulled permits for the brick facade and the local Historic Architecture board disagreed with his color choice of burnt ember bricks as opposed the traditional brick kiln shade.

        So the big, bad wolf ate them all.

        FIN

  41. Lord Humungus   9 years ago

    Think Your Obamacare Plan Will Be Like Employer Coverage? Think Again

    When Obamacare was developed, one goal was to allow middle-class Americans to use the new marketplaces to buy the same kind of health insurance they had at their jobs. People could retire early, or quit a corporate job and become a freelancer, and still have the great care and financial protection that come with high-end plans.

    But six years into the health law, the reality is that a typical Obamacare plan looks more like Medicaid, only with a high deductible. The typical marketplace plan covers a small number of low-cost doctors and hospitals, and offers fewer frills than employer plans. The recent high-profile exits of many of the national insurers from markets around the country will only heighten the shift.

    That change in norms may not be all bad. It largely reflects the preferences of Obamacare’s consumers, who are shopping aggressively for the most affordable health insurance they can find. But it is different from how the law’s marketplaces were imagined and described when the legislation was written.

    1. Lee Genes   9 years ago

      Obamacare’s consumers, who are shopping aggressively for the most affordable health insurance they can find

      And they’re not going to find it on the exchanges.

  42. Lord Humungus   9 years ago

    Washington State’s New Gun Laws Are Working

    As they say, necessity is the mother of invention, and so it’s been left to a hub of the tech world to find a way to disrupt those broken politics and revivify a 100-year-old progressive innovation: the ballot initiative.

    This November, Washingtonians will get to vote on a ballot measure to place extreme-risk-protection orders into law. If that passes, it would be a second big win, after the people of Washington instituted universal background checks on the purchase of all firearms in 2014.

    These new protection orders would be modeled on the state’s domestic violence and sexual-assault-protection orders, giving family members or law enforcement the right to petition a court to remove firearms from someone who is a danger to themselves or others.

    It is the sort of simple common sense measure that could avert mass shootings around the country.

    And yet the article doesn’t say how they are working…

    1. ant1sthenes   9 years ago

      They got passed? That constitutes working from a progressive standpoint.

  43. Lee Genes   9 years ago

    You know what would be enormously helpful? Some sort of government-funded insurance plan, that much-discussed “public option” that had to be tabled to push the original Obamacare through the Senate. A public option on the exchanges Aetna is about to abandon ? and on every other exchange ? could put downward pressure on the prices of the remaining insurers who would be competing with the government for customers.

    With the Republican Party flat-out refusing to consider any fixes to Obamacare short of completely repealing it for the last few years, there is no reason to think Congress will take up the task of creating a public option in the near future. Especially this fall, with an election coming up.

    Which is why Clinton should promise to make passing a public option a priority for the first year of her presidency. Right now. Today. Hold a campaign event in one of the affected states and roll that sucker out.

    Yeah, you do that.

    1. commodious needs a drink   9 years ago

      could put downward pressure on the prices

      Much like Medicare/aid has done for healthcare more broadly.

      How is this a difficult concept to understand? Providers are abandoning exchanges because they cannot turn a profit. The means for making the exchanges a competitive arena for insurers are missing, gone, never were. Adding more competition from yet another subsidized socialist program does nothing to change that dynamic.

      It’s not providers at fault for running shitty exchanges, dummies. Well, they share some blame for helping foment them.

      1. tarran   9 years ago

        The purpose of the public option is to strangle all private alternatives to the government providing medical care.

        That’s their goal. They will likely get it at some point too.

    2. ant1sthenes   9 years ago

      Letting government run a company competing with private companies is sort of an inherent conflict of interest. It’s like letting a referee don a jersey. Given how badly the commies failed so far, and how much suffering they’ve inflicted, and the very real possibility that it was all part of a deliberate scheme to destroy insurance to seize control of people’s healthcare, why should anyone believe anything they have to say?

  44. Sevo   9 years ago

    Increased supply keeps prices from rising! And it affected apartments NOT under rent control! SF gov’t officials amazed!

    “Rent increases slow dramatically as increased construction catches up with demand”
    […]
    “He pointed to data from earlier this year showing that Class A rentals (the buildings with rents at the top 20 percent of the market) in the city started their downward trajectory last summer, and bottomed out with actual rent decreases at the end of 2015. They are now up slightly, but Class A rentals in San Francisco are still well behind their less-expensive counterparts in rent growth”
    http://blog.sfgate.com/onthebl…..th-demand/

  45. Lord Humungus   9 years ago

    Wardruna has released a song from their upcoming album.

    *readies the longship for the coastal raid*

  46. Ken Shultz   9 years ago

    That Lochte kid is an idiot.

    If he hadn’t talked to the media about it, none of this would be a thing.

    Why did he think he could just say whatever he wanted on camera about the stupid shit he did and there wouldn’t be any consequences?

    Who does he think he is, Hillary Clinton?

    1. Domestic Dissident   9 years ago

      Lochte (or more likely one of his “people”) has just posted one of those lawyerly, mealy-mouthed, non-apology apologies on his social media.

      After reading it, I frankly don’t think it’s going to help reburnish his image very much at all.

      1. Rhywun   9 years ago

        He’s done. I wouldn’t be at all surprised if him and his little posse get banhammered from any more int’l competitions.

        And I believed them at first. An eye-opening lesson to wait for the details to come in if there ever was one.

    2. Crusty Juggler   9 years ago

      He is 32, so he isn’t really a kid.

      1. Domestic Dissident   9 years ago

        He definitely qualifies as a modern day “adult child”. And not just for Obamacare purposes.

        1. Citizen X   9 years ago

          Ryan Lochte is an adult child, says the creator and relentless promoter of “Block Insane Yomomma.”

          1. Domestic Dissident   9 years ago

            Sorry* that I criticize your own personal Allah so much.

            *Not sorry

            1. Citizen X   9 years ago

              Your angry little brain may not have room for the concept, but it IS possible to dislike both Barack Obama and your stupid, shitty, poorly thought out nickname for him, my extra-chromosome-having friend.

  47. Free Society   9 years ago

    They derisively call their adversaries “social-justice warriors” and believe that liberal interest groups purposely exploit their weakness to gain pity, which allows them to control the levers of power.

    That;s just crazy talk.

    1. ant1sthenes   9 years ago

      In fairness, a lot of times they just use it to get preferential treatment or money.

  48. Pat (PM)   9 years ago

    Pretty late here, but…

    If Libertarians Want To Be Relevant, Maybe They Should Focus On Promoting Liberty

    Earlier this week, I published a piece about my disappointment at the Libertarian Party candidates Gary Johnson and Bill Weld over two major gaffes in which they failed to stand up for liberty on key issues. Refusing to stand up for liberty struck me as a pretty major failing for libertarians.

    Reason’s Nick Gillespie quickly produced a response, not just to me, but to all of those pesky conservative “concern trolls” who have the temerity to want to vote Libertarian this year. No, really. He starts by complaining about the “#NeverTrump conservatives and Republicans who really, really, really want to vote Libertarian this one time.” I think the key thing that set him off is “this one time.”

    When I read his reasons for wanting to be rid of these conservative suitors, I thought Festivus must have come early this year, because it’s a pretty epic Airing of Grievances. He’s got a lot of problems with you people, and now you’re going to hear about it.[…]

    There you have the essence of the conservative-libertarian discussion in 2016. “We’re desperately looking to your party for an alternative.” “Yeah? Well, sucks to be you.”

  49. (((Renegade)))   9 years ago

    At the end of July, feminist writer Jessica Valenti said she was leaving social media after receiving a rape threat against her daughter, who is 5 years old.

    There’s a reason that I changed handles.

    1. Illocust   9 years ago

      The block button exists on every single form of social media. Why in god’s name does no one use it.

  50. This Machine   9 years ago

    KDW: Stalling the Engines of Progress:

    Relying on the scientifically illiterate medium of the day, the Associated Press reports that the new standards will cut “carbon pollution” (the agency means “carbon dioxide,” which isn’t the same thing as “carbon”) and ? mirabile dictu! ? “save vehicle owners billions of dollars in fuel costs and conserve tens of billions of gallons of oil.”

    Follow the money, they tell them in journalism school. It apparently never occurred to the reporters and editors of the Associated Press, who truly must be as dumb as specimens of a not-very-bright variety of igneous rock, to ask why commercial-trucking operators ? who are, after all, in the business of making money rather than frittering it away ? had not already taken the step of saving themselves billions of dollars. Did it not occur to them that they like money ? billions of dollars! ? until Barack Obama, the wise and compassionate light-worker, pointed it out to them? How did they imagine this conversation would go?

    President Obama: I demand you save yourselves billions of dollars!

    Truckers: Oh, we’d never thought of that! Thanks, and blessings be upon you!

    1. This Machine   9 years ago

      The rules require a 25 percent decrease in carbon-dioxide emissions over ten years. Those are nice round figures and familiar proportions, which politicians love (cf. every failed Soviet five-year plan) but human beings should be wary of. Why not 22 percent? Why not 27 percent? Why over ten years rather than eight or eleven years? The answer is that the Obama administration has only a passing interest in any automotive engineering questions, but it has a great interest in public-relations questions, and round numbers and familiar proportions are easier for people to remember and to understand.

      The most infuriating thing about the administration isn’t its blatant disregard for the rule of law (and the laws of economics), it’s that they sneak in a half-dozen petty, self-destructive regulations every time a major scandal breaks about their disregard for the rule of law.

  51. BigT   9 years ago

    Ohio man arrested for having sex with van.

    http://www.foxnews.com/leisure…..-with-van/

    (eat your heart out Florida man)

    1. The Fusionist   9 years ago

      If the van’s a rockin’…

      ALTERNATE JOKE: I can see the new ads for that van – “it’s so great you’ll want to make sweet love to it.”

      ALTERNATE ALTERNATE JOKE: He heard the term “van” and thought it was a Dutchwoman.

      .

      1. The Fusionist   9 years ago

        REJECTED JOKE: Katrina *van* den Heuvel

    2. 0x90   9 years ago

      I always thought “rape van” was a noun.

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