Ikea Is Recalling Dressers Deemed Safe Enough to Sell in Europe
Is one death per 10,000,000 a truly reckless safety record?


This week, Ikea made a sweeping recall of its 29,000,000 dressers sold in America and Canada:
After the deaths of three toddlers, Ikea has agreed to immediately stop selling dressers that too easily tip over, and to offer full refunds to millions of customers who bought them.
The recall applies to 29 million dressers, some sold more than a decade ago, including the company's popular, low-cost Malm line. By Monday, Ikea's website no longer carried the Malm models blamed in the deaths, which fail industry stability tests.
Details of the agreement, which a federal agency source briefed on the matter called "unprecedented," are scheduled to be made public Tuesday.
The accompanying photo of the bureau with all of its drawers pulled out was scary—it looked like it could easily tip over. And I vividly recall me making my husband bracket our bookshelves to the wall when our kids were young—it was just too easy for me to imagine them being crushed. And Ikea did tell consumers to secure its dressers to the wall—as should every furniture and TV manufacturer, I guess. The units were sold with bracket kits and instructions. (Though whether Ikea instructions help or hurt consumers is up for debate.)
All that being said, I also wonder if any item not nailed down is ever safe enough. The pictures of the kids who died after the chests fell on them are heartbreaking, as are the quotes from their parents. And yet, 3 out of 29,000,000 is about 1 in 10,000,000. Is one death per ten million a truly reckless safety record?
I ask not out of any knee-jerk distrust of recalls, but out of real interest. An anonymous source from the Consumer Products Safety Commission was quoted in the Philadelphia Inquirer yesterday saying:
"It's truly remarkable," said the commission source. "A scope that we haven't seen from the agency. It's total capitulation by Ikea."
"Total capitulation" strikes me as an odd phrase. As if Ikea believed in its product but had to capitulate to our particular culture.
And now Reuters is reporting that Ikea will actually recall 36,000,000 dressers, responsible for a total of six children's deaths since 1989—that is, in the past 27 years.
Six deaths in 27 years. That's about one every four years from an item that is incredibly popular. In Europe and the U.K., Ikea will not recall its dressers, saying that, "The recall in North America is an outcome of a dialogue between IKEA in US and Canada and the local consumer authorities."
In other words, our country's regulators insist on recalling millions of units that other countries consider safe enough.
I've heard from readers saying that the Ikea dressers were particularly "tippy," and those saying they were not. Either way, obviously no one is in favor of any child ever getting hurt, especially due to a shoddy product. But the question remains of whether we must react to any and every child's death—including one every four years—with a massive recall.
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Natural Selection in action.
Lenore doesn't disagree -- just that the process is too slow.
It's like these people WANT our race to become weak and soft gearing everything to protect the slow and unfit.
You are just noticing that? Progressive: a person who demands that evolution by natural selection be taught in government schools, yet does everything in his power to enact government policy to thwart natural selection.
I'll never understand this callousness towards life.
Spoken like a true untermensch.
I don't feel sad when the hawks snag the little barn kittens that run around my neighbors acreage either.
You just need some serious Cindy Who time.
Cindy Wu Who?
"Birds gotta eat too"
Easily explained by supply and demand.
Started working at home! It is by far the best job I have ever had. I just recently purchased a Brand new BMW since getting a check for $25470 this 8-week past. I began this 6 months ago and I am now bringing home at least $95 dollar per hour.
I work through this Website. Go here____________ http://www.earnmore9.com
"Let 'im pull it on his head a few times, he'll learn."
I didn't read the article. But if one child dies from an Ikea dresser once every four years, are we to assume that all other furniture makers have rates that are even lower? I'm skeptical.
Well then parents need to store their guns in the lower drawers so the kids don't have to climb so high to get at them.
I have this dresser and I have to say that it is pretty unstable. You have to keep the underwear in the front and the dildos in the back, otherwise it will tip forward and fall on you.
Why don't you just keep the dildos in the bottom drawer to lower the center of gravity?
Why don't you kill yourself because everyone hates you and you know it?
A Mary Stack joint?
No one likes to be lectured about the storage of their dildoes.
I feel like this isn't the first time you had to say that.
It's certainly not the first time he's had to remind me about it.
Tautology is taut.
Dildos in the front, liquor in the rear. Am I right, everybody?
No, wait, I don't actually think I am on this...
Mansplainer
Dildsplainer.
I don't recall the last story about why you were found under a mountain of dildos, but this one isn't any more believable.
"our country's regulators insist on recalling millions of units that other countries consider safe enough."
I can only judge and observe from a afar far but Americans tend to, um, over react? Or is it plain cynicism? Look at the VW and the penalties levied on them or Toyota (where it was found driver error was the problem). I get the sneaking suspicion this administration is a shake-down artist. Or is this par for the course with U.S. regulators?
"Shake-down artist" is par for the course with US regulators.
It's sad that we have become bigger pussies than our Belgian counterparts.
WE haven't done anything of the sort. Our bureaucratic class, however...
All future designs will be pyramid shaped, for the children.
Ironically they'll be designed to stand on end.
Nothing dangerous here.
The one in black is damn straight sexy.
I touched it, and a single, powerful and continuous radio signal shot out of it, aimed at Jupiter!
If it was at Chipper's house it would aimed for Uranus.
"Seen in orbit, a perfect 1x4x9 black....dildo"
ALL THESE WORLDS
ARE YOURS EXCEPT
HERSISTERA
ATTEMPT NO
"LANDING" THERE
?dong dong da-dong!?
+1 Rendezvous With Winston's Mama
It's kept up by the crushed baby heads in the back...
No, children might be tempted to climb them and fall then. They'd better make them entirely without a third dimension, so they'll lay flat on the ground.
Didn't the Foxconn nontroversy teach us that rates and stats don't matter, only feels?
"If this saves the life of one innocent child..."
Seriously, 1:10,000,000 is phenomenal safety factor. Actually, I'm going to see if I can't find a list of other consumer products that are still for sale that have a far worse track record. I'll post below if I find it.
Cars. Car seats. Pools. Plastic bags.
First aid equipment
Over the counter medications. jewelry. cleaning products.
Pants.
The only thing that would make this story more eyeroll worthy is if three of these deaths were dressers killing children by falling off a car on the way home from the store.
One kid every four years is starting to look a lot like a cost benefit manufacturer memo. "We can make these cars/cabinets safer, but it will cost 5,000 dollars per car/cabinet. OR, we can take the 4,999 dollars we won't spend and grow a 'victim's compensation fund' with interest."
Sounds exactly like the thinking of a machine to me.
Everything has killed someone, so yeah that's basically exactly what it is. You could spend infinite money, and whatever it is will probably still kill at least one person.
Plus, what if spending so much on safety in one area prevents money from being spent on safety in another area?
Recognizing limited resources and cost-benefit analyses are racist, sexist, and homophobic, and makes little kids' heads implode.
"The male of the species begins his dance with Virtue Signalling, weaving intricate patterns of mental gymnastics coupled with long periods of self-flagellation and mantra chanting."
I first read that as Ikea's Maim line and thought, "Well it's right there on the damn label!"
We care too much about our kids these days. In this one documentary I saw if a kid saw people having sex the kid was pushed out of a tower window.
Game of Strandmons?
http://www.ikea.com/us/en/cata...../30305617/
Ah yes, the Ikea STARK Entertainment Tower.
Either way, obviously no one is in favor of any child ever getting hurt, especially due to a shoddy product.
Obviously?
That seems, for lack of a better term, actively negligent. But it may just belie a complete lack of understanding of the physics of aerodynamics.
No, lack of understanding of local weather patterns. It was a reasonably nice day. Suddenly a waterspout comes in off the ocean and picks the thing up and throws it a football field away. Not really much you could do about that. Waterspouts that come on shore like that are pretty rare in this area. Not unheard of, obviously, but pretty darned rare. When you see them coming toward shore, they almost always dissipate as they approach the beach.
Notice the much smaller and lighter shade tents in the foreground that are undisturbed. It was an extremely localized phenomenon. As in, only in the one spot where there happened to be a bounce house.
I have a (probably slightly irrational) hatred for the people who just stand their filming it on their phones
And Ikea did tell consumers to secure its dressers to the wall
Clearly Ikea is selling a defective product and expects their customers to fix the problem.
If I recall correctly, a handful of children have been killed from pulling TVs and aquariums on top of themselves as well. It's a conspiracy, I tell you.
Who the fuck lets their kid touch their aquarium? Handprints? Fuck that, yo.
That's why cages are better.
It's worth noting that IKEA will not be processing the return of 36,000,000 dressers. Once you filter out people who a) haven't heard about the recall, b) don't think it's a big enough deal to merit breaking their furniture down and returning it, and c) have replaced what is essentially disposable furniture some time in the past 27 years, you're probably going to see fewer actual returns than units sold in the past year.
Ding ding. And I strongly suspect IKEA knows this, has done the math, and has figured out that going through the motions is significantly cheaper from a regulator and customer relations standpoint.
And probably a total of four registration cards were ever returned to construct the contact list.
I've experienced this, with a cat.
About 30 years ago, I had an IKEA dresser that tipped over, trapping the girlfriend's (ex-wife eventually) cat in between a drawer and the body, crushing it. Burying it in the back yard of my rental house, in the pouring rain, in a brand new leather motorcycle jacket, was the icing on the cake.
The plastic runners the drawers rode on were smooth and could be pulled out with very little effort. I at first blamed it on my scumbag roommate, but we concluded that the cat was on the top of the dresser, which was on carpeting and had a heavy jar of coins on it, did something to destabilize it and it was curtains for kitty.
I even called up IKEA and got into an argument with a Swedish executive. Really, all I wanted to do was to let them know about the design flaw, but liability panic set in with him and we ended up screaming at each other. I did get a refund for the dresser. I checked about a year and half later and the runners had ridges built into them and didn't move as easily. So, I have that going for me.
Plus you got rid of the cat.
And eventually the girlfriend.
Win win win. No word on the roommate.
The cat was more likable than she was, even dead.
But you went out with her anyway.
*high five*
Golf ball through a garden hose, chrome off a trailer hitch....
I'll leave it at that.
I take back what I said above. That sounds like a pretty great cat.
WARTY ATTACK!
"Try our new Cat Murdering line of dressers!"
The new "Pussy Pounder" line!
I thought that was Chipper Morning Wood's line of dildos?
Might be the "Colon Crusher"
Sphincter Smasher?
Actually, I call it the Imperial Colonizer.
Taintal Pleasure Baton
Asshole Annihilator.
I prefer Cuntry Casual...
... including the trending Feline Flattener.
And the Meowsoleum.
I hate myself for laughing at that.
Oh nice.
You've urned my respect.
*ceases laughing, narrows gaze*
Well, it is hard to have a serious conversation when the guy on the Ikea end just keeps saying
Bler dee bler dee bler dee doo.
I'd get pretty worked up after 30 seconds of that nonsense.
My wife hates when I refer to Ikea as "Swedish Walmart".
ha, I like that
"You won't believe the pictures captured at Swedish Walmart. Follow this handy map to see them."
You wouldn't say that if you went to the one near me, which is just up the road from Univ. of Maryland.
A guy could have a good time in there, just on the visuals alone.
I've been to the ones in Orlando, Tampa, and Houston. I just get angry. Plus, I live near the beach now, and just go there. The police told me as long as I don't touch myself or anyone else while I'm there, there's nothing they can do to keep me off of them.
I have a comment brewing about the height of beds these days and sexxy time: Having a bed mattress that stands 4' tall with a Costco 3" comfort layer is not amenable to me. I can only stand on my tippy toes for so long.
STEVE SMITH HELP WITH THAT! CAN RAPE AT ANY HEIGHT BELOW 7'.
Icomfort wins for the jizziest fucks. Under misty glittering moonscapes spilling though night shades I've often looked down at golden curves bent over the silken edge dimpled with sex droplets heaving and sweeping like the moans of Zeus around my sweaty turgid surging cum dragon with an Icomfort mattress remote clutched in my quivering paw, thumb pressing and flicking to elevate and lower the pink glade of escape solely on the whims of phallus.
May I suggest you invest in an Ikea Bolmen footstool? Now only $7.99 and you can probably get it free if you exchange your used Malm dresser.
"The units were sold with bracket kits and instructions. (Though whether Ikea instructions help or hurt consumers is up for debate.)"
And there's a user-friendly instruction video.
Came for bad jokes about cheap furniture, am somewhat disappoint.
You have to assemble them yourself.
Yay!
Insert pun A into cliche B.
Speaking of old jokes, here is the Ikea theme song:
https://youtu.be/_yNAABKD4IA
Being that this is Ikea, I'll just leave a perennial favorite here for your enjoyment.
I had no idea at all this was a thing until yesterday when I was listening to the radio, and suddenly out of nowhere the most Swedish-sounding man on the face of the earth starts imploring me in broken English to fasten my dressers to the walls.
Huh.
Does anyone remember Jarts? I have some in the attic, I think.
I jarted a couple weeks ago after a eating spicy garlic and broccoli pizza with way too much olive oil.
Tell me you ate a Kinder Surprise Egg for dessert and your journey to the dark side will be complete.
Me to my little brother 25 years ago: "Go over there and catch this."
So did you just tell people you were an only child?
No. They took Gage up to the old pet cemetery and he came back close enough.
Anyone you bury there comes back looking like Denise Crosby.
Denise Crosby now or Denise Crosby when the movie came out?
Luckily, I wasn't that great at aiming, and he wasn't very good at catching.
Tall things tend to topple.
Toddlers are retarded by a dearth of experience which makes these naughty nigglers prime for a squashing when they have been cursed with puzzled progenitors and their tottering towering tramplers.
Nice alliteration, Agile.
Love, brother.
Socialist economies tend to topple, too. Why would one expect their furniture to be any different?
It's hard to see how a product that is shipped with instructions, which were almost certainly ignored by the end user, could possibly be blamed in a sane world. (I know, I know...)
At this point, why even send out instructions or warning labels? Apparently, those are insufficient to accommodate the depth of human stupidity, so perhaps we should just learn to stop worrying and love the retard?
Or bury them.
AND
With their innate strength? No thanks! Better to have them dig the hole themselves then toss in a piece of cake.
And give them cake?
By the way, you've got love the sick irony that our government considers unfastened home-assembled dressers a grave and intolerable threat, but Muslim terrorists are cool and we should all just shut the hell up about them. That's not too fucked up or anything.
To be fair, you ARE more likely to be crushed by a dresser.
responsible for a total of six children's deaths since 1989?that is, in the past 27 years
NOT OK!
Drone Strike Statistics
Total strikes: 424
Obama strikes: 373
Total killed: 2,499-4,001
Civilians killed: 424-966
Children killed: 172-207
Injured: 1,161-1,744
Source
GO AMERICA! FOR FREEDOM!
Well disassembled furniture is obviously a greater threat than disassembled kids.
THAT DRESSER COULD KILL AGAIN!
Ikea Is Recalling Dressers Deemed Safe Enough to Sell in Europe
European kids are smarter than American kids. So there's no inconsistency here. They are safe enough for Europe.
Similarly, people must be really stupid and/or weak in California.
Well, if the evidence fits the theory...
They couldn't keep with Britain, either. Sounds like they're exactly as smart as the American kids.
First of all, it's a chest of drawers, or drawer chest, not a dresser. Also, I heard this dresser was made of horse meat.
Whatever. People will just cross into Indiana and buy their dressers there.
Until they invoke the commerce clause to ban cross dressers.
That's what got North Carolina in all that trouble.
This whole damn thread is a lovely reminder of why the HampersandR commentariat is the best. You guys are rockstars.
We're a top drawer bunch!
Made by socialists, sold by socialists.
The quality goes out when the socialism goes in.
Can they please recall Yngwie Malmsteen too?
YOU SHUT YOUR WHORE MOUTH
*shreds angrily*
My house is full of these dressers and yes, they are easy to tip over.
However, the instructions do plainly advise that the thing needs to be bracketed to the wall and they provide the bracket and screw. It's not some ass-covering small print.
We wanted the flexibility to move them around without having a hole in the wall, so we kept things from the top of the dresser so the kids would not try to go up there and we put all the heavy items at the bottom, leaving the top drawers mostly empty until the kids were older.
I'm not participating in the recall.