Free-Range Kids

Principal Bans Girls' Tackle Football Game, Suggests Bobbing for Apples Instead

We wouldn't want anybody to get hurt, now would we?

|

Rugby
Dreamstime

A tradition for 50 years, the "powder puff" girls tackle football game in Jupiter, Florida, is being canceled for the first time thanks to—what else?—safety concerns.

Dan Frank, Jupiter High School's principal, said "Student safety is my first priority." The girls' short practice time and borrowed safety equipment, he said, "put our students at risk." After all: A girl broke her leg a few years ago.

Maybe the school should get rid of its stairs, while they're at it.

It's not that the principal didn't have some whiz-bang alternatives up his sleeve like… bobbing for apples. The Associated Press reports:

Sitting down for a group interview, [Haley] Osborne and her friends, Caitlin Walsh, Megan Mendoza and Sophie Garcia, said their principal also made another suggestion that they found demeaning: That they play a modified kickball game where a runner might have to bob for apples at second base, or spin around at third. 

"We are not in elementary school," Mendoza said.

Frank acknowledges suggesting several alternative events, but would not be specific.

So instead of a half-century-old tradition that packed the stands, brought in $7,000, and gave the girls a night they will always remember, they will end their year with a whimper.

In ensuring this anti-climax, Jupiter is no different from all the other schools around the country that abandoned girls tackle football and the fun that went with it: Boys in cheerleader costumes and wigs. Screaming fans. Indelible memories:

Members of the Class of 2016 were filled with glee recalling last year's 50th anniversary game, which they lost 17-12 to the Class of 2015…."Remember there were three of us saying 'Let's all just get on Amanda,' but no one could take her down," one girl says to the group. Another chimes in, "One girl got hit so hard her helmet flew off." A third adds, "It is sooo fun." 

For these young women and their moms, the risk of injury is overblown.

"The car ride to the game is more dangerous," said Lori Walsh, Caitlin's mother. Girls get hurt cheerleading and playing soccer and basketball, they say, so why not ban those sports, too?

Maybe she shouldn't give the principal any new ideas.

NEXT: Don't give up the fight against Trump

Editor's Note: We invite comments and request that they be civil and on-topic. We do not moderate or assume any responsibility for comments, which are owned by the readers who post them. Comments do not represent the views of Reason.com or Reason Foundation. We reserve the right to delete any comment for any reason at any time. Report abuses.

  1. If girls want to play football, they’ll just have to do it the old fashioned 80’s way. Crossdressing.
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rPdVQc4hsIc

    Chester put a boy on a girls soccer team!

    1. Amanda Bynes flashing the soccer team (slurp)

    2. There’s always the Lingerie Football League.

  2. Bobbing for apples presents a certain amount of drowning risk.

    Why can’t the girls just have a quilting bee instead.

    1. A quilting bee!? You monster!! Wanting girls to be subjected to the risk of being poked by quilting needles, or accidental eye poking is just sinister.

      1. You’re right. A teach-in on microaggressions would be far safer.

      2. “accidental eye poking”

        go on…

      3. I suspect the principal was thinking of them bobbing Bananas, but that’s just my suspicion.

    2. They could replace football with a wet tee-shirt contest.

  3. Foosball? Pff… Should be in the kitchen instead.

    QED

  4. “In ensuring this anti-climax, Jupiter is no different from all the other schools around the country that abandoned girls tackle football and the fun that went with it: Boys in cheerleader costumes and wigs.”

    Offensive to real trans people. Appropriation of their identities.

    It’s like you don’t even progressive, Lenore.

    1. The greatest impediment to statism is the existence of culture and organizations independent of the state. This whole transgender business is a statist gold mine. With one fell swoop they may be able to dismantle every piece of our culture that has to do with gender, which is a lot of our culture for obvious reasons.

    2. Actually, I suspect that the fear of injury (to the girls) was just pretext and that the real motivation was to get rid of the drag cheerleaders.

  5. Isn’t this exploitative? last I checked Florida had laws against underage intercourse.

    1. So, “bobbing for apples” is another euphemism?

      1. It’s euphemisms all the way down

        1. …… so this makes “euphemisms all the way down” a euphemism…

          …we must go deeper….

  6. That they play a modified kickball game where a runner might have to bob for apples at second base, or spin around at third.

    The principal was doing a good job of avoiding every kind of lawsuit through the whole process until he got here.

  7. “Bobbing for apples will help them acquire a skill necessary to attract a husband,” the principal went on to say.

  8. When I was in elementary school, a girl one grade below me broke both her legs falling off the jungle gym. This was in 1985 or so, so we were all back on the playground the next day. I can’t imagine what would happen if that kind of thing were to happen today.

    1. Don’t be ridiculous, playgrounds don’t have jungle gyms anymore!

      1. This. They have plastic slides and shit that aren’t more than maybe 4 feet tall. Modern playground equipment sucks.

        1. The plastic slides get me every time I take my kid to the playground. She’ll never know what it’s like to slide down a metal slide in Florida during the summer.

          1. Or a metal slide in Michigan in the winter.

        2. Ah.Memories of tossing sand on the steel slide to reduce friction 😉

    2. Our gym had those collapsible bleachers. When they were collapsed, it was basically just the top two rows. A guy fell off and broke his arm. I guess they should have been uninstalled.

    3. I can’t imagine what would happen if that kind of thing were to happen today.

      I’m pretty sure the human species lost the ability to mend their own bones at least a generation ago.

  9. Looks like we’re skipping right to panel 17 in the Road to Serfdom cartoon.

    Trump looks like he’s gained weight in those cartoons though.

    1. Note that it’s panel 17 out of 18.

      That’s what progressives call progress, and what they meant when they said, “Forward!”

  10. Girls get hurt cheerleading and playing soccer and basketball, they say, so why not ban those sports, too?

    Don’t give ’em any ideas!

  11. In ensuring this anti-climax…

    Actually it’s probably for the best that these girls learn now that the female orgasm is a myth… Wait, that’s not what we’re talking about here? God dammit, PHRASING!

    “Remember there were three of us saying ‘Let’s all just get on Amanda,’ but no one could take her down,”

    Wait, I had something for this… something about “abstract euphemisms.”

  12. What the hell happened to “assumption of risk”? Instead of an element of autonomy, it is now “assume risk, apply paternalism”.

    1. Risk? What about safety? Can’t have both. So risk must be eliminated.

    2. I’m not necessarily blaming that principal. It’s a matter of insurance, law, and the behavior of parents (as if there aren’t any who’d suddenly be less benevolent when their girl actually gets hurt).

  13. They need to just sit quietly in the corner, hands folded in their laps, skirts covering to their ankles, and let the menfolk handle the sports games.

  14. They’ll find out that making sammitches is a contact sport when they take too long.

  15. That they play a modified kickball game where a runner might have to bob for apples at second base, or spin around at third.

    “We are not in elementary school,” Mendoza said.

    Or apparently college either. Seriously, wow are we supposed to prepare our young girls for the rape culture they’re about to enter if we don’t at least encourage them to experience classic collegiate pastimes like beer pong, dizzy bat, and pub golf/crawling? Next thing you know streaking and strip poker will be wrongthink too!

    1. unlicensed gambling is against the law. and we covered streaking/penisyearbooks yesterday.

  16. So I’m assuming they are canceling cheerleading and the gymnastics program? The last I checked those are the two most dangerous school sponsored activities one can engage in.

    1. At least the football team only throws the ball around, not their team mates, sheesh.

      1. *team mates or themselves

  17. Start making more money weekly. This is a valuable part time work for everyone. The best part work from comfort of your house and get paid from $100-$2k each week.Start today and have your first cash at the end of this week. For more details Check this link??

    Clik This Link inYour Browser?

    ??????? http://Www.BuzzMom90.Com

  18. Photo is of girls playing rugby. Lol.

  19. Please, please, please ?. just stay home and don’t go outside! It’s just too dangerous out there. Please!

    1. If you stay inside you’ll breathe in radon and get lung cancer!

  20. Article about football, picture of rugby- nice work.

  21. I can’t imagine what would happen if that kind of thing were to happen today. The last I checked those are the two most dangerous school sponsored activities one can engage in.

  22. So, Principal Frank is only interested in girls avoiding injury. Apparently, he has no problem with boys injuring each other and causing concessions that could lead to brain damage. Doesn’t that make Principal Frank a sexist? Let the girls play if they want to.

  23. This is really about keeping girls into submissive traditional gender role.
    Scratch the service and you will no doubt discover the principal is pushing
    a conservative christian agenda.

  24. Nothing is completely safe. Dumb principal.

  25. Our gym had those collapsible bleachers. When they were collapsed, it was basically just the top two rows. A guy fell off and broke his arm. I guess they should have been uninstalled.
    monsterlegendshackx

    fifa16hacked.com

Please to post comments

Comments are closed.