Man with Guns Arrested at Disneyland Paris, Undercard Candidates to Join Trump's Event, 'Affluenza' Guy Sent Back to U.S.: P.M. Links

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  • The relentless, forced cheer was not interrupted.
    Credit: heatheronhertravels / photo on flickr

    A man carrying two handguns and a copy of the Koran in his luggage was arrested at a hotel serving Disneyland Paris. It was not immediately clear whether he had any plans to do anything harmful.

  • Undercard candidates Rick Santorum and Mike Huckabee, who have had their voting constituencies commandeered by Ted Cruz, said they're going to join the veterans event Donald Trump is putting on in his boycott of tonight's debate.
  • The doctor that serves Congress says Bernie Sanders, 74, is in very good health. His lungs certainly seem to be quite robust.
  • Notoriously corrupt (or "colorful," as they say) ex-Providence Mayor Vincent "Buddy" Cianci is dead at 74.
  • Sweden may deport from 60,000 to 80,000 asylum-seekers in the coming years given the rate by which the reject applications.
  • The "affluenza" kid, Ethan Couch, has been sent back to Texas from Mexico. He will face a detention hearing on Friday after skipping out on his probation for a 2013 fatal drunken-driving crash.

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  1. …said they’re going to join the veterans event Donald Trump is putting on in his boycott of tonight’s debate.

    They want to know where their Trump gone.

    1. Googling Santorum’s name reveals search results only slightly more disgusting than googling Trump.

      Afternoon. I’m four hours away from home at a meeting, the wife and kid are both home with strep throat. Whee.

      I also should be paying attention to this meeting. But I’m not.

      1. I was Googling something about Martin Van Buren (I happened to come across a reference to a newspaper he started in the 1820’s with the word “Telegraph” in it and wondered how they could be using that word before the telegraph was invented – turns out the original telegraph had been around a long time as a system of signal flags and what Morse invented was the electric telegraph machine) and came across an old newspaper from the 1830’s and browsing it, there was an article of foreign news. Seems there was an Ottoman Pasha of some sort issuing a proclamation against some guy named Mahamid Ali Something-or-other and his followers and family due to his heresies and the Faithful were called upon to kill this man wherever he might be as the Prophet commanded. Seems like things haven’t changed much in the last couple centuries over there. (There were also plenty of ads for tonics designed to cure white and gravel and King’s Evil and such as that just in case any of you have a bad case of gravel.)

        1. I was Googling something about Martin Van Buren (I happened to come across a reference to a newspaper he started in the 1820’s with the word “Telegraph” in it and wondered how they could be using that word before the telegraph was invented – turns out the original telegraph had been around a long time as a system of signal flags and what Morse invented was the electric telegraph machine be searching for porn)

          FIFY

        2. “plenty of ads for tonics designed to cure white and gravel and King’s Evil and such as that “

          No one’s yet come up with a suitable bolus to remedy my recurrent marthambles

        3. +8 Van Buren boys

    2. Hello.

  2. Trigger warning: nut punch

    The police officer who shot and killed teenager Quintonio LeGrier on the day after Christmas will sue LeGrier’s estate.

    1. Heroes, we can be heroes…

      1. And swim. Like dolphins can swim.

    2. Aren’t you going to link to the Trump Charity scandal?

      1. Scroll down.

    3. Officer Robert Rialmo answered a domestic disturbance call in West Garfield Park and wound up shooting LeGrier and a neighbor, he says, because LeGrier attacked him.

      Rialmo’s attorney Joel Brodsky confirmed for WGN-TV this morning that he’ll file a civil suit against LeGrier’s estate in a couple of weeks, citing emotional distress and assault.

      LeGrier’s family says there was no justification for shooting 18-year-old LeGrier in the back four times.

      Shot four times. In the back. But the cop was being “attacked”. Was LaGrier running backwards towards him?

      Urge to kill rising.

      1. How can a cop file a civil suit for something that happened during the normal course of executing the duties of his job? Does every cop who gets assaulted or “assaulted” now get to file a civil suit against the alleged perpetrator?

        I really didn’t think they’d find a way to take FYTW to a higher level, but here we are…

        1. Peak FYTW is like Peak Derp and Peak Lie.

          1. Indeed. At least the department isn’t charging the kid’s family for the bullets.

            1. Wait.

              1. No, he’s right. It’s just the one cop.

        2. Quantified Imnudity; works in reverse. If you resist the oppression, you get sued!

      2. The teen was going to ambush him by running all the way around the world and coming up on the pig from behind.

        1. Or maybe he used the old trope that the teen was running away to hurt someone else and he had to stop him for the children.

        2. Apparently no one here has heard of the deadly and ancient martial art of Spine Tingle Fu.

          1. I prefer the deadly and ancient Yorkshire martial art of Ecky Thump.

      3. What kind of estate does an 18-year-old have, anyway? I’m assuming the kid wasn’t an heir to a throne or something.

        1. Why would cop sue dead insolvent kid’s estate? Who gets the settlement? That’s right. Piggy setting up structure to get some of that (inevitable) civil-suit lucre for shooting the kid, obviously.

          Heroes.

          1. Not.

          2. Just wait for all those Fraternal Order of Police stickers to go on sale.

      4. Hey, there are a LOT of fighting styles that involve running backwards at your opponent!!

        1. Yea just ask the french

  3. World’s Greatest Athlete Plays Ping-Pong With His Penis (NSFW)

    Call it peen-pong.

    Video is circulating of a man who appears to use his penis as a paddle to hit a table tennis ball. And it’s a great return!

    You can see the family-friendly version here…

    …. but if you desire the full-frontal forehand smash, click here.

    And lest you think this schlong-wielding shotmaker is an anatomical aberration on the Internet, think again.

    1. “He Keeps Using That Penis, I Do Not Think He knows What It Is For”

      1. “Hey, baby. Are you ready for a paddling?”

    2. What Warty does with his doomcock is certainly athletic, but I wouldn’t call him an athlete. He lacks the sportsmanlike disposition.

      1. If you can’t br an athlete, be an athletic supporter!

    3. Schlonged!

    1. In the A?

    2. how do you do the D?

      Sometimes with an over-hand grip, just to switch things up?

        1. Isn’t The Stranger when you sit on the hand first to get it all ‘numb’ so it doesn’t feel like yours?

  4. Sweden may deport from 60,000 to 80,000 asylum-seekers in the coming years given the rate by which the reject applications.

    They don’t like their immigration like they like their cheese.

    1. Per Auntie Beeb: Apparently the only reason that this was reported at all was because some official pointed out that going by rejections of asylum applications in previous years this was the likely number that would be rejected this year.

      If you actually read the report you will see the qualifier “given the rate by which the reject applications”.

      IOW, no story here. Move along people.

      It should be a well known fact among people who actually know what’s going on that Swedes are not at all united about the admission of “lesser races” to their paradise. The “success” of the Swedish Welfare State was based completely on a small homogeneous population of Swedes, all of whom were Lutheran (even if not in the entirely religious sense but people who believed very strongly in the protestant work ethic); IOW a population that was willing to work hard and rarely apply for benefits unless they actually needed them.

      1. So they’re not kicking out all the refugees?

        1. They’re probably going to reject the same percentage of asylum applications as they have in previous years in the opinion of some official.

          In previous years they have rejected about 30-40000 applications and deported those rejects. This year they expect more than double the number of applications than in previous years; hence double the number of rjects. as I said, no story. This “story” is typical journalistic wanking.

          OTOH a real story might deal with the upsurge of feeling in Sweden that immigrants are just coming there to take advantage of the generous welfare state and the kind of social disruption that that feeling might cause.

      2. “The “success” of the Swedish Welfare State was based completely on a small homogeneous population of Swedes, all of whom were Lutheran (even if not in the entirely religious sense but people who believed very strongly in the protestant work ethic); IOW a population that was willing to work hard and rarely apply for benefits unless they actually needed them.”

        That’s 100 percent true, and that’s what “progressives” fail to see or refuse to accept. They think that all cultures are completely equal and fungible. They don’t understand that some cultures are – to put it bluntly – better than others at living in a social state. That’s why they have this loony belief that if we would just transplant the entire Swedish economic and legal systems to the US, the US would become just like Sweden.

    2. I need a system in place, Reason, that allows me to give Fist numbers to represent my chuckles.

      +50 Jowlies, Fist.

      1. FINALLY SOMEONE APPRECIATES ME.

      2. We need units for other emotions.

        I propose the “Marcotte” for revulsion/disgust.

  5. Trump loves vets now:

    The website, which is nothing more than a single page with stock photos and a credit card donation form, claims that “100% of your donations will go directly to Veterans needs.”

    There’s only one problem: 100% of the money raised on the site goes directly to Donald Trump’s personal non-profit foundation, according to a disclosure listed at the bottom of the page.

    According to the domain registry information for Trump’s site, the domain was not registered until Thursday morning. The firm that registered the domain, Florida-based Parscale Media, also designed Trump’s official presidential campaign website.

    Trump’s personal non-profit foundation, the Donald J. Trump Foundation, does not have a history of donating much money to veterans or to veterans’ causes. According to a recent analysis of the organization’s spending history by the Weekly Standard, Trump’s non-profit donated more money to the Clinton Foundation than it did to veterans causes.

    1. Don’t worry. You can trust The Donald to keep his promises.

    2. Well, clearly what veterans need is for Trump’s foundation to have more money.

    3. Clinton is a vet, though! Those RPG’s didn’t dodge themselves, damnit

      1. Bill Clinton has eight years of military service as commander-in-chief. So there!

    4. There’s only one problem: 100% of the money raised on the site goes directly to Donald Trump’s personal non-profit foundation, according to a disclosure listed at the bottom of the page.

      Finally, he has something in common with Hillary.

      1. She gets a cut, too.

    5. I’m pretty sure South Park already predicted how this election season ends. Knowing that their time out of prison is nearing an end, Trump and the Clintons hatch a plan for one last big score before they flee the country to live out their lives on a beach in South America somewhere.

  6. Irish photographer sells potato portrait for $1.08M

    PARIS, Jan. 28 (UPI) — A celebrity photographer said a photo sold to a European businessman for $1.08 million didn’t portray any famous figures — rather, it depicted a simple potato.

    Kevin Abosch, 46, an Irish photographer known for his portraits of famous subjects including Malala Yousafzai and Steven Spielberg, said a European businessman spotted “Potato #346” hanging in his Paris apartment last year and purchased the print for $1.08 million — 1 million euros.

    Abosch, who normally charges up to $500,000 for a portrait, said the sale was the biggest of his career.

    The photographer said he snapped the photo of an organic Irish potato in 2010 and made three prints — one for a Serbian museum, one he sold and one he kept for his own collection.

    1. Did it look like the leader?

    2. Modern art could be considered a joke, but it’s rarely all that funny.

      1. Modernism is the greatest and most profound aesthetic movement ever. If you don’t enjoy it, that’s fine.

        That photo is not modern art. Modern and contemporary are not synonyms.

        1. Are you the anti-Rand?

          1. I’m not sure what you are getting at.

            1. She felt modernism was the worst and most bankrupt aesthetic movement ever, basically. Sorry for the obtuseness.

              1. I’m probably an anti-Rand in that and several other ways.

                1. Do you mean you are physically unattractive?

        2. Modern and contemporary are not synonyms.

          Uh oh, Zeb. I should warn you that trying to teach people this is a losing proposition.

          1. You never miss an opportunity to show everyone how big your dick is, when in reality, you should be out shoveling side walks and claiming to have gubmint given rights to stolen property.

            1. I thought you were the one who claimed to have government-given rights to stolen property. Sorry you completely fucking walked into this like the moron you are.

              1. I thought you were the one who claimed to have government-given rights to stolen property. Sorry you completely fucking walked into this like the moron you are.

                What? I claimed to have a natural right to my own property that was stolen. It really won’t do you any favors to give me a reason repost your derpy logic from that thread.

                Also, not so sure that I walked into something here. My crime is not using the proper ill-defined nomenclature for some unimpressive overpriced art. Yeah you got me alright…

                1. Your crime is not knowing what “modern” means.

                  Please, re-post away. You think you the government legitimately holds property and that anarchists should respect the state’s property rights. And I’m the derpy one.

                  1. I called it ‘modern art’, which is categorically distinct from the concept of ‘modern’.

                    Please, re-post away. You think you the government legitimately holds property and that anarchists should respect the state’s property rights. And I’m the derpy one.

                    Fantastic.

                    I never said the government legitimately owns stolen property. You don’t need to keep reasserting how dishonest you are. What you’re saying I claimed, is exactly what you claimed in fact. You literally said that when government steals property, it becomes “commons” that 3rd parties actually have some kind of moral right to utilize. See how I just encapsulated your argument without lying or projecting? I know it’s hard for intellectual cripples not to engage in those practices, but keep trying or at least start trying, and one day you might be able to do the same.

                    1. Reason’s thread links are as disconnected from logic as Nikki is. text search [What constraints exist upon freedom of movement, in your view?] and start from there.

                    2. Who owns the property if it’s not a commons?

                    3. Certainly not the sum total of humanity. Who legitimately owns the property? The person from whom it was stolen, or their heirs. Who effectively owns that property? The government.

                      On top of being wrong in principle, you’re also categorically wrong. The air is commons, until someone puts into a jar and makes use of it. The moons of Jupiter are “commons”, that is until someone comes along and homesteads some part of them. Some dead kelp floating in the middle of the Atlantic ocean are “commons”. Roads and generally the things built atop stolen property by criminal organizations are not “commons”. This is basic stuff here, Nikki.

                    4. Stop weaseling. Who owns it?

                    5. Stop weaseling. Who owns it?

                      I literally just told you. Are you just dying to play some game of semantics with me to deflect attention away from your argument? I’ll repost again for you… and even give you more explanation than you deserve.

                      Certainly not the sum total of humanity. Who legitimately owns the property? The person from whom it was stolen, or their heirs. Who effectively owns that property? The government.

                      I put it that way, into the context of de jure and de facto because it’s an eniterly different can of worms whether or not you can say “the thief owns stolen property”, since in an abstract sense he doesn’t rightfully own it and in a literal sense he is in control of that property effectively acting as it’s owner.

                    6. Okay, well I guess you advocate Native American ownership of the whole joint then.

                    7. Okay, well I guess you advocate Native American ownership of the whole joint then.

                      Autochthony ftw.

                    8. Okay, well I guess you advocate Native American ownership of the whole joint then.

                      Okay then, Nikki…. talking to you has been as useless as ever.

                    9. Okay then, Nikki…. talking to you has been as useless as ever.

                      Dude, see? Again with the perfect response that says everything about you. Don’t ever change, man. This is too fun. Can we do this tomorrow too? I’ll clear my schedule!

                    10. Well that was responsive.

                    11. Please! Can’t we all just get along?

                    12. Point of order.

                      We learned in the open borders thread that this is not true.

                      Fee simple for the motherfucking win.

                      (H/T HM.)

          2. trying to teach people this is a losing proposition.

            Yes, and I never learn.

            1. There’s never any reason to engage these slackjaws, Zeb. They have no idea how stupid they are.

        3. Modernism is the greatest and most profound aesthetic movement ever.

          This is a matter of opinion, not fact.

          1. Sure. That’s my opinion.

            It just annoys me when people want to argue with me about it and have no idea what modernism even is. I’m happy to debate the subject. But “durr, my kid could paint that”, is not a good start (not that I’m saying that’s what you would say, but it’s a pretty common one).

            1. I’m not a big art aficionado (visual arts, anyway) so I couldn’t discuss the issue at any depth. My understanding of the major art periods is mostly just from a historical perspective. I was just saying, in terms of the importance or influence or profundity of any particular movement or style, there’s no real objective criteria with which to work. So even a non-philistine might not necessarily agree with that assessment.

              1. I’m not a big art aficionado (visual arts, anyway) so I couldn’t discuss the issue at any depth.

                Your opinion is invalid, peasant.

                1. He said without any hint of irony while complaining of the butthurt of others.

                  1. He said without any understanding of the concept of ‘sarcasm’.

                    1. I’m embarrassed for you now. Do you think your sarcastic caricature of the people you’re talking to doesn’t scan as anal-fissure-swabbed-with-lemon-juice levels of butthurt?

              2. I’m not calling anyone philistine and it’s fine if you aren’t interested in esoteric aesthetic theory. I just get annoyed with people who insist on having a strong opinion on the subject while being willfully ignorant about it.
                I’m happy to have people disagree with my assessment of modernism. It is indeed just my opinion or judgement.

                1. I just get annoyed with people who insist on having a strong opinion on the subject while being willfully ignorant about it.

                  That sounds like your problem, not anyone else. I think that modern art, and it’s derivatives and it’s successors for the most part, are not good. I’m unimpressed with it, sorry. You on the other hand are either accusing me of dictating what other people should like or at the very least of being unaware that people do like it, which is not exactly warranted.

                  What I took issue with from your initial response, is that you seem to claim some kind of opinion monopoly for art that I don’t qualify for membership of because I called a daughter species by her mother’s name. Nonetheless, I think modern art/post-modernism/contemporary/da-daism or whatever, is mostly crap. I’d think it was mostly crap even if I’d received double-majored in art history and body painting. Sorry that’s so painful for you, oh studious master.

        4. Modernism is the greatest and most profound aesthetic movement ever. If you don’t enjoy it, that’s fine.

          That photo is not modern art. Modern and contemporary are not synonyms.

          I didn’t see anyplace where the word ‘contemporary’ was mentioned but anyways…. I assumed ‘contemporary’ means the present tense of whichever time period to which you were referring, as opposed to ‘post-Modernism’, which I think might be the particular species of garbage art you’re talking about.

          But WOW that’s so interesting. Hold on, let me reread this art lesson after I put on my Palestinian scarf and thick rimmed glasses that I wear to show how modern contemporary I am.

          1. Always be signaling.

            1. Art is for fags. Knowing stuff is for fags. Vote Trump and never question me again, beuterused one.

              1. Ha! I get it, it’s funny because you’re doing the exact same thing you just accused someone else of doing.

                1. And just like you are now!

                  Isn’t it so useful to point out?

                  1. Reply was to SF, and was not signaling in either case.

              2. Well, SugarFree, I see you’ve been listening in on the talk in my lounge at work.

          2. Excuse me, but I assumed when you said “modern” (which was not mentioned in the article either), you were incorrectly conflating modern and contemporary art. It’s a pretty common thing.

            If you have no interest in modernism, that’s fine. But there is no need to trash talk something you clearly know little about.

            But WOW that’s so interesting. Hold on, let me reread this art lesson after I put on my Palestinian scarf and thick rimmed glasses that I wear to show how modern contemporary I am.

            Seriously, what the fuck is that supposed to mean? Modern has a specific meaning when it comes to art. You clearly don’t care about that. So just shut up because you sound like an idiot. Some people appreciate that art can be more than pretty pictures.

            I’m sure it’s fun to pretend that everyone who appreciates non-representational art is just a sucker who wants to be cool. But it’s simply not the case. It’s OK if you don’t get it or appreciate it. But other people do and there is no reason to be an ass about it.

            1. Excuse me, but I assumed when you said “modern” (which was not mentioned in the article either), you were incorrectly conflating modern and contemporary art. It’s a pretty common thing.

              And yet you knew exactly what I was talking about, or at least enough in your mind to justify a snooty little lecture.

              If you have no interest in modernism, that’s fine. But there is no need to trash talk something you clearly know little about.

              Is it really fine? You seem to be going to great lengths to tell me to shut up about things that you claim I know nothing about. I mean I can definitely sense the deep ache in your butt that someone trashed this contemptible species of art, so don’t tell me it’s okay if it’s not. Tell me I’m wrong, tell me how great it is but spare me your social signalling snobbery.

              I know it when I see it and I know that art critics and academics like to put it in vaguely defined categories, so vague in fact, that entire series’ of books and lectures and indeed an entire fields of academic study are dedicated to drawing these distinctions because they’re so astoundingly unclear on the surface of the works in question.

              1. I’m hilariously amazed at the benthic depths of your insecurity. Someone liking something you don’t understand threatens you to your core. You’re that. Pathetically. Insecure and it screams from every post you make. Keep it up, I’m sure *no one* else sees it. You don’t wear it on your sleeve or anything.

                1. Someone liking something you don’t understand threatens you to your core.

                  Hows that? I basically called it stupid art and Zeb launches into a tirade of anal anguish that some peasant dares to speak out of turn. I never once gave him or anyone else shit about liking it. You have it almost exactly backwards, that Zeb is upset that someone trash talked something that he likes.

                  I’d say something to you about honing your reading comprehension skills a little, but clearly you read what you to want to read anyways, for people like you that just won’t change.

                  1. That’s it! That’s the stuff. You couldn’t have responded to my request in a more perfect manner.

                    Please, please tell us more about Zeb. Or me. Or Nicole. Because you totally don’t project and telegraph all your crippling insecurities onto us. Nooooooooo. Not at all. It’s not painfully obvious to anyone.

                    This is fun. Can we do more of this?

                    1. That’s it! That’s the stuff. You couldn’t have responded to my request in a more perfect manner.

                      Please, please tell us more about Zeb. Or me. Or Nicole. Because you totally don’t project and telegraph all your crippling insecurities onto us. Nooooooooo. Not at all. It’s not painfully obvious to anyone.

                      This is fun. Can we do more of this?

                      Are you doing something here? I mean you write comments dripping with condescension, but never making any points or any arguments while you’re at it. Was I not supposed to mention the name of the person you were referring to when you wrote a comment directed at me? Is what you’re doing witty or something? Help me out here.

                    2. I’m afraid I can’t help you out; only your therapist can do that. Your inability to understand how much you radiate bonecrushing insecurity is something I can’t correct, even with all my powers of condescension and lack of a point. Oh sorry, a point that everyone else but you gets, my bad.

                      But hey, if you want to keep. Hammering. Home how you abjectly and absolutely don’t get, well, anything, please keep doing so. It makes it easier for the audience to follow along since we don’t have a laugh track for you. But don’t worry, we’re all running one in our heads for every single comment you make.

                  2. New band name:

                    Tirade of Anal Anguish

              2. You know who else was crabby because he felt disconnected from the artistic movements that defined his time?

                  1. This certainly sounds like someone in this thread. That someone isn’t you, HM.

                    works of art which cannot be understood in themselves but need some pretentious instruction book to justify their existence will never again find their way to the German people.

                    1. That led me to this. I am not convinced that this isn’t some sort of viral marketing scheme for an upcoming Marvel movie.

                    2. I am not convinced that this isn’t some sort of viral marketing scheme for an upcoming Marvel movie.

                      Wut? I would get a trade copy of a graphic novel. I’m not sure about short form comics or a Marvel movie though.

              3. Where are you getting “signalling snobbery”? It’s something I happen to be interested in. I also happen to think that snobby artsy types can be obnoxious and pretentious. That doesn’t mean that the art they are into is nothing but snobbery and pretension. Good grief.

            2. Seriously, what the fuck is that supposed to mean? Modern has a specific meaning when it comes to art. You clearly don’t care about that. So just shut up because you sound like an idiot. Some people appreciate that art can be more than pretty pictures.

              I characterized you as a hipster snob, but without actually calling you a snob. I think you’re smart enough to pick up on that without me spelling it out.

              I’m sure it’s fun to pretend that everyone who appreciates non-representational art is just a sucker who wants to be cool. But it’s simply not the case. It’s OK if you don’t get it or appreciate it. But other people do and there is no reason to be an ass about it.

              So it’s definitely not fine that I think modern art, post-modernism and contemporary (and I’m sure you can add a few categories to that for me) art is total shit. So to recap, you don’t like the mean things I said about your favorite thing ever. Touched a nerve. Duly noted.

              1. So it’s definitely not fine that I think modern art, post-modernism and contemporary (and I’m sure you can add a few categories to that for me) art is total shit.

                How would you know? You don’t even know what that shit is.

                1. He knows it when he sees it.

                2. It’s like how people are surprised by what an ignoramus FS is. Haven’t you paid attention?

                  1. I tend to give people a lot of chances and benefit of the doubt. It may or may not be a personality flaw.

            3. It’s art ffs…I don’t care one way or the other until government forces me to pay for it. Then I care…like whatever you like, buy it if you choose, no skin off my ass, carry on, just don’t expect me to be happy subsidizing some no talent schmuck (or a talented schmuck). Doesn’t matter, not something government has any business doing.

        5. Modernism is the greatest and most profound aesthetic movement ever.

          You misspelled “Baroque”.

              1. What, no “dat Rubenesque ass”?

                Jesus, that video is funny.

                1. I knew you’d appreciate it.

          1. That may well be the height of the craft of painting. I’m sticking with my assessment of modernism.

            1. I find the use of allegory in many Baroque paintings to be much more profound than most of what was accomplished in modernism, which to me, always seemed more about playing with perspective. (Though, I really like modernist music. I listened to Schoenberg all through high school and college). Each Vermeer is like a mini DaVinci code, you can’t say that much about the Modernists. Though, I don’t actively dislike modernist painting, it’s not the type of stuff that makes me go “wow!” when I see it at the museum.

    3. I could be a great modern artists if I could stop giggling when offering junk for sale for big dollars

      1. Was it Dali or Picasso who reputedly doodled pn his checks so people wouldn’t cash them?

        1. Dali.

          Picasso just convinced people his signature was awesome, so people didn’t cash his checks simply because he signed them…

      2. And another person has no idea what “modern” means in the context of art.

        1. Now to seal the deal, twirl your mustache while you sip some fine vintage that a peasant could never appreciate.

          1. Oh, fuck off. Can you really not conceive that people might genuinely appreciate art that you don’t? No, it can’t possibly be anything other than a big ruse to prove how cool I am. Developed tastes are a real thing. That doesn’t mean your tastes are necessarily inferior, nor does it mean that other people’s tastes are pure affectations.

            1. Developed tastes are a real thing. That doesn’t mean your tastes are necessarily inferior

              … that’s kind of betrayed by the terminology, I think. It implies that the development of one’s taste would lead them to an appreciation of the same things your more developed taste appreciates. Which isn’t necessarily true. People who have devoted their entire lives to the study of art do not necessarily share the same aesthetic tastes or equally appreciate any particular piece of art or type of art.

              1. “It implies…”

                Translation: What you have said has made me feel inferior. I’m going to misread it on purpose and then argue elitism to make myself feel better.

                1. I’m going to misread it on purpose

                  Irony is often lost on the ironic.

                  Go read my posts upthread, you halfwit.

                  1. At least you’re copping to arguing elitism to make yourself feel better. Honesty is a good first step.

                    1. Are you seriously fucking retarded?

                      I made no such argument anywhere in this thread, except I guess in your imagination. I don’t even have a horse in this race. I know reading clearly isn’t your strong suit, and the threading breaks down on this site, but re-read the thread. It’s Zeb and FS’s pissing match, not mine. I have no real opinion on the actual subject at hand – as I said, I’m not really into visual art, except in the context of history. I was only pointing out that saying that FS’s undeveloped taste is not inferior is a bit contradictory. For purposes of evaluating a piece of art, “developed taste” vs “undeveloped taste” is substantially the same as “superior taste” vs “inferior taste”.

                      I have no doubt in my mind that, given his enthusiasm for the subject, Zeb’s taste in art is superior to mine. Probably by large measure. I’m largely ignorant of the subtleties, particularly of visual art. That doesn’t bother me in the slightest. But I’m a big fan of clarity of communication.

                    2. What does it say about me that my first reaction was to laugh?

                      What does it say about you that after repeated ad hominem, you expect me to read your words most carefully for pearls of wisdom?

                    3. What does it say about you that after repeated ad hominem, you expect me to read your words most carefully for pearls of wisdom?

                      You began this conversation by randomly replying to one of my posts that wasn’t addressed to you, substituting your own words for mine, completely misrepresenting what I actually said, and then psychoanalyzing me on the basis of your misrepresentation. Excuse my temerity, but yes, I actually do expect you to bother reading for comprehension before incoherently popping in with your own pearls of wisdom. Since you seem to be the expert here, tell me, what does that say about me? What does it say about you? What does it say about *us*?

              2. It implies that the development of one’s taste would lead them to an appreciation of the same things your more developed taste appreciates.

                Not really. Some people will never like whiskey, for example. Very few people are born liking whiskey. Lots of music that sounds great to most people now once sounded like confusing noise to most people. I’m honestly not trying to attach any value when I say “developed tastes”. Just that a lot of what people appreciate aesthetically is learned to some degree.

                1. I’m honestly not trying to attach any value when I say “developed tastes”.

                  But there is a value attached to it, otherwise there would be no need to differentiate between “developed” and “undeveloped”. I don’t think it’s wrong to draw the distinction, but drawing it and then saying that it doesn’t matter comes off as patronizing. To the whiskey example, it’s a bit like saying that the drunk homeless guy outside the liquor store doesn’t necessarily have inferior taste compared to the more developed taste of a fine spirits sommelier. Everybody is entitled to their opinion, but for the purposes of evaluating a rare bottle, clearly one is superior to the other.

            2. Oh, fuck off. Can you really not conceive that people might genuinely appreciate art that you don’t?

              This is where your self-awareness breaks down. Where did I insult you or anyone who likes shitty art? I just called the art shitty in so many words and you flip out telling me that because I’m a layman about nomenclature, I need to shut up. Did you make any arguments as to why I’m wrong about shitty art? No, you hang your hat on the fact that I mis-classified one species of art that is directly descended from the ostensibly correct species of art. Can you really not conceive that people might genuinely dislike art that you do?

              Think more, project less.

              1. Where did I insult you or anyone who likes shitty art?

                Self-awareness in action.

              2. Where did I insult you or anyone who likes shitty art?

                No, the insult was the implication that only hipster posers could possibly appreciate the art that you don’t like.

                Anyway, my initial comment was simply to point out that the potato picture is not modern art, which is just true. Don’t you find it annoying when people use specific terminology related to something you are interested in incorrectly and refuse to even learn what it actually means? That’s all I’m saying here.

                1. No, the insult was the implication that only hipster posers could possibly appreciate the art that you don’t like.

                  Go back and read, and maybe rexamine your chronology. The hipster poser snob characterization came after that little lecture about my opinion of modern art (ISAOA) being invalid because I didn’t call it “contemporary” when I took a swipe at it.

                  It’s a picture of a potato and if the same photo were taken one hundred years ago it’d be classified as modern art and in one hundred years from now if the same photo were taken some blowhard is going to lecture people that calling it “contemporary” is dumb and that therefore their opinion about a million dollar shot of a potato is invalid. Your argument is about as purely pedantic as an argument can be.

          2. You misused the term modern art. DJF did as well.

            This is not difficult to figure out.

            1. Seriously. All I was trying to do was to correct some terminology and look what happens. It’s as if some people are personally offended at the existence of art that they don’t get or don’t like.

              If you disagree with me about modernism, great. Just try to know what I am talking about before you do.

      3. “I use the potato as a proxy for the ontological study of the human experience.”

        I guess he deserves the million dollars for having the ability to say that with a straight face.
        ?\_(?)_/?

        1. Bingo….

    4. Good god. The Euro is down to $1.08 now? I need to fly to Europe for a vacation.

    5. Potatoe Art is in the eyes of the beholder

      1. Go home, Quayle, you’re drunk.

        1. “All of you thought I was an idiot, but, turns out it was all a fuh-cade.”

    6. Buyer’s gonna be pissed when he finds out it was a Mexican potato.

    7. Irish photographer…potato…I get it you racist bastard. *takes a swig of Bushmill’s and swings on bartender

      1. Bushmillls?! That’s protestant whiskey!

        1. Paddy or bust!

    8. Arguments about aesthetic theory aside, I actually quite like the photo. It looks remarkably like a photo of an asteroid.

      $1 million seems rather absurd, though.

  7. A+ Trolling

    A young male protester has continuously showed up to Cruz events during January in Iowa holding a sign declaring, “Ted Cruz Likes Nickelback.”

    1. That’s great. We need more of that sort of thing.

    2. It’s such a load of bullshit conspiracy theories, this secret Canadian nonsense. No one would ever accuse Ted Cruz of being polite and unassuming.

  8. Totally O/T

    Donald Trump weighs in on politics in Middle Earth

    http://thefederalist.com/2016/…..out-smaug/

    1. It really does read like a Trump speech. 9/10.

  9. The “affluenza” kid, Ethan Couch, has been sent back to Texas from Mexico.

    Did they find a cure for affluenza or do Mexican cops no longer take bribes?

    1. The cure appears to be spending a month or so in a Mexican jail.

    2. They still do. It’s just that the US government hands out much bigger bribes.

    3. I’m sure Texas said, “Give us back the kid and his mom, or we’ll start shipping back the guys you don’t want.”

    4. Hate to say it, but when his mom took him to Mexico, I started to come around on the affluenza thing. What a mother. Did he stand a chance?

      1. He does now that he’s away from her.

        And this was over PROBATION.

        1. Exactly. People were dead and he did not get prison time, and that was too much for them to handle.

      2. People overcome shitty moms all the time.

        1. I hope so, or my nephews and niece are fucked.

          1. My older niece has done a decent job of overcoming her shitty mother.

      3. Helicopter mom owns actual helicopter.

    5. They just don’t know how to take a bribe with that many cameras on them. Better to just get rid of the story as quickly as possible so they can get back to business as usual.

      1. The Enquirer check to get scoop on Affluenza’s involuntary prison love life probably worth more than bribe.

  10. Police kick in opera singer’s door after confusing singing with screaming

    AMSTERDAM, Netherlands, Jan. 27 (UPI) — Police in Amsterdam mistakenly kicked in the door of a local opera singer after residents called in reports of a man screaming.

    Amsterdam Police shared a photo of the door to its Facebook page after responding to reports of “terrifying screams” coming from the home in the Zuid-Buitenveldert district.

    Netherlands Times reported that police confirmed what they believed to be screams of agony when they arrived and began to knock on the door of the opera singer’s home.

    The singer did not hear the knocks and was unaware anyone was at the door until it was kicked in. Police found him singing along to a song while wearing headphones.

    1. As a fellow screamer, I empathize with this man.

      1. I heard you were a squirter too.

    2. Kill the wabbit, kill the wabbit, kill the wabbit?

      1. +1 Ozzy Fudd

    3. To be fair, he was screaming a pronunciation of the Dutch ‘G’ and the neighbors thought he must choking on his own blood while being sodomized by a wooden shoe. The likeness was uncanny.

      1. Look at this, people! Look at this! This is why the Internet was invented.

        1. Meh. This is a gentleman’s C on H&R.

        2. *drops keyboard, walks away*

    4. I worked with an opera singer for a brief time. You could hear the guy 3 blocks away if he chose to really unload. It was awe-inspiring. Some people have pipes, but he had 18-inch cannons.

      1. Should we be asking why your worked with an opera singer?

        1. His day-job was as a trader.

          at market close, he’d sometimes stand up and send out a crescendo that could be heard 2 floors up. He was told to stop doing that.

          He had the typical build – average height, 350lbs, yet muscular. ‘naturally huge’

          he also was a very-quiet talker. I once asked him if it was a conscious choice, and he shrugged and was like, “i guess, it makes people listen.” I was like “So its not like you’re trying to ‘save your voice?'” and he averred “no way”. The stereotypical trader-personality was more like “Cramer” = loud, obnoxious, zero-nuance, coke-head sounding. He was like this quiet, hulking guy with very good market-instincts…. who could at any moment make the walls shake, like some kind of mutant power.

          1. He had the typical build – average height, 350lbs, yet muscular. ‘naturally huge’

            Now I’m picturing Warty belting out some Wagner while balancing a fat woman dressed as a valkyrie on his Doomcock.

            1. And now the rest of us are too. Thanks for that.

            2. Average height???

  11. “S.F.: Huge building ads for Verizon, Visa must come down”
    [?]
    “”These massive commercial signs are illegal and a public nuisance,” Herrera said.”
    (Herrera’s the city attorney and a worthless gas-bag)
    “Under the planning code, Verizon has 30 days to remove the signs at Four Embarcadero, meaning they could be up until mid-February.”
    http://www.sfgate.com/bayarea/…..790468.php

    Gov’t out-foxed one more time!

    1. Advertising for the State, however, isn’t a nuisance….

  12. “A man carrying two handguns and a copy of the Koran in his luggage was arrested at a hotel serving Disneyland Paris. It was not immediately whether he had any plans to do anything harmful.”

    But it was EuroDisney. He could have fired tens of thousands of rounds and not hit anyone.

    1. The actors might have been in danger!

      1. Actually, they were on strike.

        1. If it were July, they’d be on vacation, which is inconvenient, because everyone else is too.

          1. Have you ever tried to work when its hot out? It’s haaaaard.

          2. Isn’t this France? I think they’re on vacation July AND August.

    2. You know who else wasn’t immediately?

      1. Libertarian Moment?

    3. Wait – you mean France has gun show loopholes too?

  13. Lego unveils its first disabled figure

    After decades of building pirate ships, race cars and haunted castles, Lego has come up with something new: a wheelchair.

    The Danish toymaker has unveiled its first ever disabled minifigure on Thursday. The figure of a hat-wearing boy in a wheelchair was first spotted at the Nuremberg international toy fair in Germany and featured on fan blogs.

    The company later confirmed the tiny wheelchair will be part of a new Lego CITY set that will come out in June.

    Lego and other toymakers have been under pressure for some time to introduce toys that reflect real life.

    1. And only parents of non-disabled kids will buy them, because the great majority of disabled kid’s parents aren’t big enough assholes to buy reminders of their child’s limitations.

      1. And only parents of non-disabled kids will buy them, because the great majority of disabled kid’s parents aren’t big enough assholes to buy reminders of their child’s limitations.

        Guess you won’t be in the market for the new can’t-feel-her-pussy Barbie then.

        1. Isn’t that all Barbies?

    2. It’s the least they could do considering all the people they’ve maimed when a loose piece gets underfoot.

    3. I would love to know how Lego CITY sets sell compared to Lego Star Wars. Because I don’t think my three boys (14, 11 and 9) have EVER asked for a Lego CITY set. But I can’t tell you how much money I have spent on Lego Star Wars, Batman, LOTR, and other movie themed sets,.

      1. My kid has been going nuts on Lego CITY square since Christmas. He built everything then started recombining. I had to go away for two weeks, thank god for those Legos they kept him busy and quiet for his mother. Then again he doesn’t get exposed to a lot of theme brands in our hippie-cosmo lifestyle.

      2. I wanted Lego Star Wars stuff when I was a kid, but I was caught right between when the first trilogy was old and irrelevant and when the prequels got all the hype going again. Had to make do with generic robot and space ship kits. Life is suffering.

        1. I agree. Shopping for kid this past Xmas came across Lego Imperial Shuttle – wings fold, ramp, two-man cockpit. It was my eight-year old dream suddenly real. Bought the damn thing…ARRRGH YOU LEGOS.

          1. don’t look at this link then!

            http://shop.lego.com/en-US/Death-Star-10188

            took forever to build!

      3. I’d say I was a big fan of LEGO City sets, but then Star Wars and pop culture themed sets didn’t take off until I was a teenager, at which point my purchases became much more… strategic. But I imagine kids still like cops and robbers, firetrucks, helicopters, etc.

        1. Cops: check
          Robbers: check
          Firetrucks: check
          Helicopters: check

          And I was a kid in the 70s and there really weren’t movie themed Lego sets yet. So I got a few city type sets (police and helicopters). And then took them apart and made space ships and shit.

          I really don’t remember any desire to have handicapped kids sets, though.

          1. Hey maybe we can have a big Lego set with a kid in an iron lung. How about a life size set of Lego crutches. Or maybe a Lego bottle of antibiotics.

            Maybe something REALLY cool with the CITY set, like the County Assessor’s office!!

        2. I’d say I was a big fan of LEGO City sets, but then Star Wars and pop culture themed sets didn’t take off until I was a teenager

          Same here, and I could not have cared less about “action figures” either. My parents probably didn’t know what the hell to do with me. I spent more time playing with calculators and reading atlases than playing with toys. I had the big ole box of miscellaneous Legos that was popular at the time and got a lot of fun out of that.

      4. I always wanted Lego city sets as a kid. Star Wars didn’t exist (and I never gave a shit about SW any ways) and I wasn’t that into pirates or castles.

    4. Speaking as a kid who used to be in casts and a wheelchair as a kid (Cerebral Palsy), I didn’t give two shits about a wheelchair lego. Never crossed my mind. This is from dumb-fucks who want to feel good about themselves and socially signal how great they are and how much they care. Fuck You.

    5. Lego unveils its first disabled figure

      After decades of building pirate ships

      I call bullshit. No peglegs? No hook hands?

      1. I can confirm that there were peglegs and hook hands.

        The hook hands are especially useful / aggravating (they’re easier to lose than most pieces).

    6. Does it come with missing parts?

    7. Why does he look homeless?

  14. A man carrying two handguns and a copy of the Koran in his luggage was arrested at a hotel serving Disneyland Paris. It was not immediately whether he had any plans to do anything harmful.

    Angela Merkel is writing for Reason now?

    1. Maybe it’s the new job for the Cologne police chief now that he’s forced into retirement.

  15. The doctor that serves Congress says Bernie Sanders, 74, is in very good health. His lungs certainly seem to be quite robust.

    Young whippershipper Hillary Clinton can’t quite say the same regarding her defective thyroid.

    1. Sure Bernie’s health Hilary’s but I don’t think “very good health” is going to cut it when Bernie has to go up against Trump otherwise known as the healthiest individual to ever run for president.

  16. “A man carrying two handguns and a copy of the Koran in his luggage was arrested at a hotel serving Disneyland Paris. It was not immediately whether he had any plans to do anything harmful.”

    My initial thought was that this might be nothing, but the fact that it’s Disneyland Paris makes me a bit suspicious. If Americans were carrying guns, that’s just kind of what we do, but it’s not exactly common to carry around handguns in your luggage in France.

    1. We won’t know for sure until we find out if he’s black.

      1. We won’t find that out, either. It’s like looking for exoplanets, you have to intuit their existence from perturbations rather than emanations.

      2. You’re the biggest cunt in the universe.

        1. What about your girl, Sabrina E.?

          1. You mean Elizabeth Stoker Breunig? Who even cares about Erdely?

            1. Well, they are both contenders for most monstrous muff in the milky way.

        2. I don’t know if he’s the biggest

          1. Jealousy makes a very stinky cologne, JW.

  17. A man carrying two handguns and a copy of the Koran in his luggage was arrested at a hotel serving Disneyland Paris.

    You can see Minnie LeMouse’s face and legs. What’s he supposed to do?

    1. And just the right amount of body hair.

    2. And Donald Duck goes around with no pants!

  18. Parents are 3D printing their babies BEFORE they are even born

    It may look like an odd concept but these real-life replicas of unborn babies faces are all the rage with expectant parents.

    New mums and dads are getting scans of their little ones in the womb rendered in a 360 degree format and printed in 3D.

    The eight-inch cast can then be framed, mounted and displayed on the wall – at a cost of about ?150.

    1. Now be honest, people. Would parents do this if it were just a mass of human tissue?

      1. I was trying so hard to not start something, but yeah, this is why the abortion debate won’t go away. We can see what’s inside a woman’s womb too easily now.

      2. Aren’t we all a mass of human tissue?

      3. Now be honest, people. Would parents do this if it were just a mass of human tissue?

        Yes. Next question.

      4. Uh, you know this is only so they can use them as dildos, right?

        1. Hey, what two consenting adults do behind closed doors with the simulacrum of their unborn child is their own business.

        2. It’s a gateway to fisting.

      5. Would parents people drugged up on hormones until they’re completely fucking retarded do this if it were just a mass of human tissue?

        1. Oestrogen overrides human agency every time. Especially among expectant fathers.

          1. Why would you think I think people on drugs don’t have agency? Parents are responsible for everything they do. Doesn’t make them rational.

            1. Be honest, Nikki. Would people support the state if it were opposed to their interests?

            2. If you’re doing something irrational on account of being under the influence of “drugs”, and you otherwise wouldn’t have done that irrational thing in the absence of the “drugs”, then you’re kind of dismissing the agency of the person so afflicted. That very same principle is why, for example, contracts signed while under the influence can be voided.

              Of course, the entire thing is a stupid non-sequitur. People’s opinions on abortion, fetal life, and fetal personhood may or may not be influenced by their own pregnancy or parenthood. If anything, the relationship probably runs the opposite way.

              That being said, a perfectly normal balance of hormones and brain chemicals is also no guarantee someone is rational.

          2. Yeah, I’m sure its the guys clamoring for 3D printed blob ghost keychains.

            1. Haha, yeah, men are homogeneous in their ambivalence to their unborn offspring unlike those histrionic biotches. Fuckin’ yokels, amirite?

              1. Sorry. I briefly forgot you’re not worth talking to.

                1. It’s cool, it gets hard to keep track when you’re white knighting for Nikki every time she says something hopelessly idiotic. The sheer volume.

                  1. It’s a full white knight squad. There’s about 5 of them that have absolutely zero tolerance for anyone who disagrees with any single of one of them. Any disagreement or conflict against any one of them, triggers an automatic and involuntary slew of ad hominem attacks from the others. And if you dare mention their pure reliance on ad hominem, they’ll point out the one point in several paragraphs where you responded in kind, and call you a hypocrite.

        2. You are going to make one hell of a mother someday!!

      6. I have a 3d model of a red dragon sitting on a shelf in my living room. Therefore dragons are people, or something.

        1. But you do jack off to it, don’t you? So it’s not just a clump of carbon.

    2. Too ugly, abort.

  19. A man with two handguns was detained Thursday along with his female partner at Disneyland Paris, Europe’s most-visited tourist attraction, police said.

    Only in America, folks. Europeans are sophisticated enough to have gun control, which effectively prevents that.

    1. Whoa whoa whoa. Europe’s most visited tourist attraction? I call bullshit.

      1. I missed that the first time around.

      2. In fact I know that’s wrong. Eiffel Tower gets the most visitors per year of any attraction in the world. Maybe there is some categorical subtlety that I am missing.

  20. Actor Damian Lewis ‘too privileged’ for school event

    Damian Lewis has hit back at critics who claimed he was too privileged to take part in his local comprehensive school’s 50th anniversary celebrations.

    The Eton-educated actor told the event people who had complained were “missing the point” as the evening was “a celebration of our community… and the role the school has played here”.

    Alumni from Acland Burghley School in north London had signed a petition against the Homeland star’s appearance.

    The actor lives near the Camden school.

    The petition said: “Damian Lewis was educated at Eton, a school that, more than any other, represents the reproduction of privilege and inequality in the UK.”[…]

    The woman who began the petition, which garnered 100 signatures, said she had not meant it as a personal attack against Lewis.

    “It’s really just about how do you celebrate the anniversary of a really good comprehensive school that has always taken a very radical and socially progressive attitude towards education,” Rachel Cohen said.

    1. “It’s really just about how do you celebrate the anniversary of a really good comprehensive school that has always taken a very radical and socially progressive attitude towards education,” Rachel Cohen said.

      I think she found her answer to that question in a copy of the Communist Manifesto.

      1. She is common to the core.

    2. “Damian Lewis was educated at Eton, a school that, more than any other, represents the reproduction of privilege and inequality in the UK.”

      I think they misspelled “excellence.”

      1. Ha! I didn’t realize there was such local Eton hate. Frickin Guardian readers…

      2. What’s funny is that in older literature people from Eton are mocked because they were gay (in the homosexual sense).

        I vaguely remember a conservation which brought up an offer of gay sex
        “No thank you, I didn’t go to Eton”

        1. That’s a common public school jibe from a generation ago.

    3. The woman who began the petition, which garnered 100 signatures, said she had not meant it as a personal attack against Lewis.

      Slow down… You’ll make the other signature gatherers look bad.

    4. “”It’s really just about how do you celebrate the anniversary of a really good comprehensive school that has always taken a very radical and socially progressive attitude towards education,” Rachel Cohen said.’

      I JUST WANT TO EXPRESS MY LOATHING AND RESENTMENT OF SUCCESSFUL PEOPLE IN A POLITICALLY ACCEPTABLE WAY WHY IS THAT SO WRONG

      1. “When asked to comment about Ms. Cohen’s statements, Mr. Lewis responded, ‘Didn’t some bloke named Irish just mention the biggest cunt in the universe?'”

    5. Damian Lewis is as American as apple pie.

  21. A man carrying two handguns and a copy of the Koran in his luggage was arrested at a hotel serving Disneyland Paris. It was not immediately whether he had any plans to do anything harmful.

    Funnier typo.

    1. They have nothing on John.

    2. Well, Koreans can be small.

  22. Woman who thinks she’s a cat trapped in a human body ‘hisses at dogs’ and has tried to catch mice

    A young woman claims she has been born with a genetic defect which makes her a cat trapped in a human body.

    20-year-old Nano, from Oslo, Norway, said she first realised she was a cat when she was 16 and doctors told her she has a ‘genetic defect’.

    Nano claims to have ‘heightened senses’, and hisses at dogs and hates water.

    In a video on the NRK P3 Verdens Rikeste Land YouTube channel, Nano wears cat ears and a tail as she chats to a reporter about her unusual condition.

    She said: “I hate water. Water is like you get the instance tot wash yourself, in the face and stuff.

    “Sometimes I hiss when meeting dogs on the street.

    “It’s only because of their behaviour and my instinct automatically reacts by hissing.

    “I was born in the wrong species.”

    Nano believes she will remain a cat for the rest of her life, even though her psychologist has told her she can grow out of it.

    1. “her psychologist has told her she can grow out of it”

      Transphobia!

      1. All she needs is for the gubmint to force a Christian to fill her supper dish.

    2. nya~

    3. Can we get a ruling from CJ?

      1. Why?!?

        She has moist holes, and serious self esteem issues.

        Is the pope catholic?

        1. Will she lift her tail for me?

          1. We should find out if you’re allergic to her first.

      2. I’d let her scratch my pole.

    4. I wonder if her owner does the “peanut butter” trick.

    5. Will no one else mention Jocelyn Wildenstein? Then I have to.

      1. I’m glad I wasn’t eating anything when I clicked that link.

        1. You just do not appreciate how medical science can enhance a woman’s natural beauty.

    6. Remember boys, don’t stick it in crazy.

      1. She’s a cat, she ain’t interested unless you have a barbed penis.

        1. Well, at least Warty has a chance.

        2. I wonder if she goes into heat every couple weeks.

    7. “A young woman claims she has been born with a genetic defect which makes her a cat trapped in a human body.”

      This is motherfucking hard science we’re dealing with here.

      1. She probably ate to many GMO’s that mutated her brain with cat genes.

    8. The zoo has a tiger enclosure with a big glass window on the pool where you can get a good look at them as they swim around. Tigers love the water. I don’t think they would hiss at a dog. I’ve heard their senses are heightened enough that they can spot a moron from up to 8 kilometers ($3.80) away. Just sayin’.

      1. up to 8 kilometers ($3.80) away.

        I’m interested in your conversion system. I would subscribe to your newsletter, but I’m not sure if I can afford the newtons.

          1. put IT….damn lack of an edit button.

    9. And if you think she’s irrational now, just wait until she gets pregnant and thinks her fetus is a person.

  23. This year, the U. S. Fish and Wildlife Service is going to be celebrating the Centennial of the first a series of migratory bird treaties the U.S. ratified. The feds cite these treaties and implementing legislation to punish people who take migratory birds, their feathers, etc.

    It was in a case involving this treaty that the Supreme Court said Congress could impose penalties for violation, even if such penalties would otherwise be in violation of the reserved rights of the states under the 10th Amendment.

    Reason deplored this doctrine (in the context of a different treaty).

    I noted these things after Reason posted about that yoga chick being investigated for illegal bird feathers.

  24. I’m just getting around to this morning’s Trump comments now. I can’t imagine what this place will be like if Trump is the nominee and we have another 8 months of this shit.

    I do know I’ll have to start drinking cocktails.

    1. Why cocktails? Why not just drink the hard alcohol straight?

      1. If Trump is the nominee I may have to start drinking vodka straight from the bottle.

        (Kirkland American ftw)

        1. Costco’s white tequila deal can’t be beat. The only problem is it’s too big to comfortably chug one-handed.

        2. My Costco doesn’t sell booze. How bad is Kirkland American vodka?

          1. Kirkland American is Tito’s. It’s great.

          2. Well filtered.

            They have Kirkland Beer too, and it’s way better that what you’d expect.

            1. Kirkland Beer is Saranac in the East and Gordon Biersch in the West. The Eastern version is fine, never tried the other version.

              1. The price is right.

                However, I was there yesterday, and I settled on a 24 pack of Sculpin. Half regular, half grapefruit.

              2. I’ve never had Costco beer, but I’ve had some beer from Gordon Biersch. Gordon Biersch products aren’t bad.

                1. They’re not good either.

    2. I just don’t see how he’s worse than anyone else MJ.

      1. Nikki, of course, knows a thing or two about being the worst.

      2. I’m still waiting for you to explain what’s racist about saying this country was founded by white Americans who need a president that will start thinking about their interests for once.

    3. Start??? Why aren’t you already drinking?!?

      *rolls up newspaper*
      BAD MIKEY!!!

      1. Tall Shiner and a whiskey neat. Then I’ll go to the liquor store and then home for the main course.

        1. Pork tacos, tequila and beer. If I have a 3 rd kid in November, I blame my wife.

      2. There was a while where I made simple cocktails most nights. But it started to look like a luxurious expense, and the carbs!

      3. Mikey? Isn’t that that kid that died from mixing Pop Rocks and cereal?

    4. Looks like I picked the wrong year to give up sniffing glue?

    5. Mountain Dew and racing fuel for me.

  25. Mattel is now officially making a fat Barbie, along with a tall one and a petite one.

    “For her Time cover story, Dockterman watched unattended little girls playing with the doll, presumably through some kind of two-way mirror. In one session, for the pleasure of her peers, a 6-year-old speaks as if she’s the curvy doll. Here’s what she says: “Hello, I’m a fat person, fat, fat, fat.” Later, when an adult arrives, she calls the doll “a little chubbier.” Another child says she doesn’t want to hurt that Barbie’s feelings, so she spells it: “F-A-T.” A Mattel research head told Dockterman that, when adults weren’t in the room, focus-group girls often undressed the curvy dolls and laughed at them.”

    I’m going to guess that feminist Mom’s are going to rush out to buy this for their children, and they will see the same results as the test groups. Next generation having grown up with this stupidity will probably go back to buying normal Barbie for their daughters, and laughing at their mother’s the same way we do at the hippy moms.

    http://www.slate.com/blogs/xx_…..burger_bar

    1. Do we get Beta-Ken too?

      1. Isn’t he beta already? I mean, HE HAS NO DICK! (I checked)

        1. It’s like the old joke about the little girl who’s asked, “who does Barbie come with?” She answers “G.I. Joe.” Her mother says, “don’t you mean Ken?” The girl says, “no, she comes with G.I. Joe and fakes it with Ken.”

    2. “focus-group girls often undressed the curvy dolls and laughed at them.”

      Girls are awesome.

      1. Yeah, kids are monster sociopaths until a little before puberty. Peter Pan (the book not the movie) was pretty true to life on how little kids that age care about others.

            1. You’re a frog?

      2. You can’t fool kids with this kind of crap. They know what’s up and they haven’t yet been trained to be PC. It’s like giving them participation trophies after a sporting event and acting like they don’t know who won and who lost.

        1. Keeping score is what kids do.

      3. “Boys are sick.”

        “What do girls do?”

        “We just tease someone until they develop an eating disorder.”

    3. You know who else liked to watch unattended little girls?…

      1. That trans chick that was made her name fighting gamergate folks on twitter?

      2. Jared, the Subway guy?

      3. Me?

        1. You’re in good company with the other names people are throwing around.

      4. Lena Dunham?

      5. Roman Polanski?

      6. Aqualung

      7. Maurice Chevalier?

    4. Mattel is now officially making a fat Barbie, along with a tall one and a petite one.

      How YOU doin’, thickness?

    5. Those little BITCHES! Some of us have a glandular problem!

      God, kids really know how to cut you to the bone. *cries into his Talenti pint*

    6. I’m waiting for fraternity gang-banged victim Barbie to come out.

    7. They’re even giving them terrible hipster haircuts too.

      1. Anorexic Barbie – gah

  26. Martin Luther King’s “I Have A Dream” Deemed Not Inclusive Enough

    Student leaders at the University of Oregon considered removing a famous Martin Luther King Jr. quote from a wall on its student center on the grounds that it was just not inclusive enough ? because it talked only about racial discrimination and not discrimination based on stuff like gender identity.

    1. God I hope they do this. It’ll be starting bell for a true slug fight between the different victim groups.

      1. It’ll be like when I was a kid. My cousin got boxing gloves for Christmas, so we’d have matches with four kids, each wearing one glove.

    2. Didn’t H&R do an article on this like two days ago?

      1. At least.

  27. The military proves once again why it’s a model of efficiency and effectiveness to be admired

    For more than two years, the Navy’s intelligence chief has been stuck with a major handicap: He’s not allowed to know any secrets.

    Vice Adm. Ted “Twig” Branch has been barred from reading, seeing or hearing classified information since November 2013, when the Navy learned from the Justice Department that his name had surfaced in a giant corruption investigation involving a foreign defense contractor and scores of Navy personnel.

    Worried that Branch was on the verge of being indicted, Navy leaders suspended his access to classified materials. They did the same to one of his deputies, Rear Adm. Bruce Loveless, the Navy’s director of intelligence operations.

    More than 800 days later, neither Branch nor Loveless has been charged. But neither has been cleared, either. Their access to classified information remains blocked.

    1. Why not just fire the guy? It’s the Navy, you don’t need to be fair.

      1. Because they’ve got a dangerous shortage of admirals?

      2. If the DoD started holding people accountable for corruption, there might not be anyone left to run the place.

        1. Well, they found themselves out on a limb.

    2. Vice Adm. Ted “Twig” Branch

      Is that what his wife called him? Because that’s an awful, awful nickname.

      1. It was shortened from “Twig and Berries.”

    3. Footnote = this guy was the “Star” of the PBS series Carrier.

      He was hard character to dislike. But that’s TV for you.

  28. A Gamma tweets
    @Scalzi: Note to all women everywhere: You don’t have to smile at me when you see me. I won’t wonder what it means if you don’t.

    1. Well at least you didn’t link to RoK again.

    2. I’m so alpha I don’t think about whether women smile at me.

    3. He’s sooo edgy. There are few people on the internet who I have regretted stop reading less. Sadly, his books also suck now.

      1. THIS^ I was so stoked when I read Old Man’s War. The Ghost Brigades was good. But downhill after that.

        1. I haven’t read him but “Redshirts” is on my wishlist – I thought that was pretty well-received?

          1. Skip it. Sucks balls. Worst Coda since The Gunslinger.

            1. It does seem a little precocious.

              Worst Coda since The Gunslinger.

              Is that a Stephen King reference? I remember enjoying that a long time ago. And the 2nd and 3rd books but that’s as far as I got.

    4. STEVE SMITH LIKE WHEN GET SMILES BUT NOT REQUIRED

      1. Not sure, but I think it’s your mom or dad’s mother.

        1. *nods, pretending to understand*

          1. It’s not surprising that a beta like you would not understand.

            1. It’s Deltas, all the way down in here.

            2. I’m a charlie, hoping to graduate to beta this summer.

        1. What happened to Alpha? Everyone seems to know something I don’t!

        2. I have it on good authority that betas have a pretty sweet life. They have the good-looking girls that the alphas are finished with, and don’t have to deal with the constant pressure to be top dog that the alpha does.

          1. Gammas, though; we all hate them.

            1. My favorite urbandictionary defintion of a gamma male:

              A Gamma male is a fake Alpha male, he was unsuccessful as a beta getting girls and finding success and has turned to lifting and pretending to be superior than betas. They will still score with shallow women with no morality and are notable for having unprovoked hate towards anyone who doesn’t buy into the false ego perspectives. A true Alpha male will gain women and success under any circumstances they are magnetic. A gamma male is a loser trying to pretend to be Alpha.

              One of the other definitions is too close to “hit and run commenter” for my liking.

              1. The second one is from The Urbane Dictionary.

    5. You don’t have to smile at me when you see me. I won’t wonder what it means if you don’t.

      The lyrics to “You’re So Vain” popped into my head when I read this.

  29. On Reddit today, a story about Madoff getting reported to the SEC for fraud and them not doing anything about it for 10 years got posted. The lessons Redditors draw from this?

    “Congress sets the sec budget. And under bush refused to give it the power to regulate credit default swaps and some future contracts. Congress is lobbied heavily by wall street to keep the sec hobbled. It’s easy to blame it all on the sec when they are also the ones tying their hands.”

    “Yeah the SEC was in shambles after bush. It had been quite neglected and while they were stuck with outdated funding and resources, industry was blazing forward.”

    “That’s exactly the right point. In such instances the inevitable wave of outrage at the behaviour of regulatory agencies tends to produce a frame wherein the regulators are seen as incompetent. The reality is much more sinister. The regulatory agencies are weakened at every opportunity, denied staff, training, and powers in a deliberate effort to make them as ineffective as possible. Then when it all goes to hell, it is the regulator that gets all the bad press, not the people who made them that way.”

    http://tinyurl.com/gpnvurt

    For the record, the SEC’s budget more than doubled under Bush, and the part about credit default swaps and other instruments has no relevance to the Madoff case. Also, the SEC was first notified about this while Clinton was still president.

    https://www.sec.gov/foia/docs/budgetact.htm

    1. Reddit is not a wellspring of intellect.

      1. Reddit is a wellspring of pitifulness.

      2. Reddit is fine so long as you stick to the correct subreddits. Which definitely means avoiding /r/politics.

        1. ^ this. There are lots of awesome reddit subthreads on a huge variety of topics BUT FOR THE LOVE OF GOD AND ALL THAT IS HOLY STAY AWAY FROM ANYTHING POLITICS.

          1. FOR THE LOVE OF GOD AND ALL THAT IS HOLY STAY AWAY FROM ANYTHING POLITICS

            The same rule applies at social gatherings.

    2. The SEC has no money for enforcement? Really? That must be why I always get these piddling little shitty comments from them under threat of enforcement.

    3. These are the same assholes who think the Nuclear Regulatory Commission has been bought and paid for by the Nuclear industry.
      Regulatory Capture!!

    4. On Reddit today

      Stop right there…

    5. Most internet comments are immune to facts.

      1. Were you asserting a fact when you wrote this?

        1. Observation based on sample of Youtube + NYT

    6. What kind of money and “training” does an employee need to follow up on a tip?

      1. Just the tip?

      2. *looks up from porn*

        I’m sorry, what? I wasn’t paying attention.

  30. EU is going to act on tax avoidance.

    The Commissioner for economic and financial affairs, taxation and custom Pierre Moscovici said billions of tax euros were lost to tax avoidance every year: “Money that could be used for public services like schools and hospitals or to boost jobs and growth.

    “Europeans and businesses that play fair end up paying higher taxes as a result. This is unacceptable and we are acting to tackle it”.

    “Yes, they act within the law, but goddamit, that is OUR MONEY! Hand it over, bastards!”

    1. “Money that could be used for public services like schools and hospitals or to boost jobs and growth.

      What are public pensions? Chopped liver?

  31. There’s one thing this talented pianist would never do.

    1. Damn! I got rolled!

  32. Tragedy in the Heartland. Local TV station provides live web streaming to memorial service for police dog killed in the line of duty.

    1. I’d love to do that eulogy.

      1. But I’ll let Sugarfree do it instead.

        1. I’m to busy mocking fags for knowing stuff. H’yuk.

  33. Crazy old man doubles down on crazy.

    http://www.cnn.com/2016/01/28/…..index.html

    1. Who knows, it might get him the two points he needs in Iowa.

    2. When he’s so full of shit, Bill Maher has to straighten him out, it’s time to retire and take up basket weaving..

  34. This Day in History

    1547 – King Henry VIII of England died and his nine-year-old son, Edward VI, assumed the throne.

    1915 – Congress passed legislation creating the U.S. Coast Guard.

    1916 – The first Jewish Associate Justice of the Supreme Court, Louis Brandeis, was appointed.

    1986 – U.S. shuttle Challenger exploded 72 seconds after lift off, killing all seven crew members aboard, including school teacher Christa McAuliffe.

    1999 – The creation of Element 114 is announced by scientists.

    2003 – In his second State of the Union Address, President Bush presents case for war with Iraq.

    1. I refuse to believe that the Challenger explosion was 30 years ago. Fuck I’m old.

      1. I was just thinking that. I saw it live, and then the teacher dove to turn off the TV.

      2. What color were Christa McAuliffe’s eyes?

        Blue.

        One blew east and the other blew west?

    2. #4 is the not. I remember the news coverage of the Challenger exploding. According to that coverage, Christa McAuliffe was the only one on board.

      1. “Honey, before you go, can you make sure to feed the fish?”

    3. Wikipedia says the Challenger exploded 73 seconds after liftoff, so I’m gonna go with #4.

    1. i still think “bear rapes DiCaprio” will be better

      1. I was nowhere near DiCaprio!!

      2. If I hadn’t seen that meme prior to the movie, that bear attack would have been a lot less funny.

    2. “The film’s cast includes Bill Oberst Jr, Jason Vail, Miles Joris-Peyrafitte, D’Angelo Midili and David Saucedo. ”

      With those all-star, household names, how can it fail?

  35. Shocker =

    Electric Cars are Fucking Stupid and Un-Environmental (Until You have Unlimited Nuclear-Electicity)

    1. They’re so useless, the link doesn’t even work.

        1. I was hoping they would show that image of the wind turbine being de-iced by a helicopter spraying water, heated by a 210kw oil burner in a diesel truck below.

    2. It’s funny, China produces the most energy from solar and wind among all countries, but it’s still a tiny fraction of their overall power produced.

      1. Heh, heh. That is funny.

  36. “A man carrying two handguns and a copy of the Koran in his luggage was arrested at a hotel serving Disneyland Paris. It was not immediately whether he had any plans to do anything harmful.”

    Who would or could possibly think that?

  37. A man carrying two handguns and a copy of the Koran in his luggage was arrested at a hotel serving Disneyland Paris. It was not immediately whether he had any plans to do anything harmful.

    A little later he had plans anything

  38. “Notoriously corrupt (or “colorful,” as they say)”

    – He was black?

  39. Clinton Chief Of Staff Lost Her Personal Blackberry, Which Contained Classified Emails

    While working as Hillary Clinton’s chief of staff at the State Department, Cheryl Mills lost her personal Blackberry, on which she sent emails that the State Department has determined contain classified information.

    and the best part:

    “Somewhere b/w my house and the plane to nyc yesterday my personal bb got misplaced; no on [sic] is answering it thought [sic] I have called,” Mills wrote from her personal email account

    1. Aside from the mixture of appalling incompetence and deliberate malice that we see in Clinton and her staff…

      Am I the only one who is pissed off that someone who is supposedly a professional is writing emails that look like they were typed out on a cell phone by an 11-year old girl?

      1. Frankly I’d rather have the 11 year old girl in charge.

  40. Seen on the drive home from the office:

    1) A white Crown Victoria covered in what appear to be pro-Donald Trump stickers. The Crown Vic also had a light bar and a spoiler.

    2) NH DOT set up one of those highway warning message signs to remind drivers that enforcement of the hands-free law has started. LIVE FREE OR DIE! HAHAHA!

    1. I remember when the seatbelt law came into effect.

      1. The one that says people under 18 must wear a seat belt and has primary enforcement?

          1. Yes, I remember Shaheen signing it. It wasn’t too long after I moved to NH.

            Speaking of Shaheen, I heard the radio commercial where she endorsed Hillary Clinton. “I’m proud to call her my friend.” Shaheen might think Clinton is her friend, but I doubt Clinton thinks that of Shaheen.

    2. The Crown Vic also had a light bar and a spoiler.

      For the life of me I cannot figure out what information this sentence is supposed to convey.

      1. I found it amusing that someone would put a spoiler on a Crown Vic. The light bar is extra.

        1. A high performance vehicle like that could go airborne at any moment without a spoiler. Even when parked.

          1. I had two Crown Vics. The first I totalled when I hit some ice wrong. The second was the replacement for the first. Both had the handling and performance package. 230 HP. I did manage to get the tires to break loose.

            1. I hate the new Ford interceptors, if for no other reason than having to memorize a new headlight pattern.

              1. +1!! Those crown vic lights are easily recognizable.

  41. just before I saw the receipt that said $7527 , I accept that my mom in-law woz like actualey making money in there spare time from there pretty old laptop. . there aunt had bean doing this for less than twentey months and at present cleared the depts on there appartment and bourt a great new Citro?n 2CV . look here…….
    Clik This Link inYour Browser.
    ???????? http://www.Jobstribune.com

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