Friday Funnies: Obama's State of the Union

Comments

[Fist of Etiquette]

The cobra in Space Obama’s hula skirt is gonna get him.

[Florida Man]

Is this a penis joke?

[straffinrun]

Or a David Bowie joke.

[Fist of Etiquette]

Depends. Would it enhance your enjoyment of the comment?

[Florida Man]

It couldn’t hurt.

[SusanM]

Even funnier: Everything needed to make an occupation go smoothly…

http://www.reuters.com/article…..1420160115

The occupiers, who took over buildings at the Malheur National Wildlife Refuge on Jan. 2 in the latest conflict over the U.S. government’s control of land in the West, had been hoping for snacks, fuel and warm clothes when they provided sympathizers with a local mailing address.

Instead, as they angrily showed online, they received sex-related toys and food that would be of little use as they braced for a long standoff with federal law enforcement agents who have kept watch from a distance.

[SusanM]

“”It was really mind-blowing to me that people would actually spend their money … on all this hateful stuff to send out to us,” one of the occupiers, Jon Ritzheimer, said in a Facebook video this week in which he displayed items including a large sex toy and a bag of penis-shaped candies.”

[straffinrun]

Telling them to go ranch themselves.

[SusanM]

I just think it’s funny that these guys are relying on the evil government post office (and trusting it enough not to tamper with foodstuffs) while they’re protesting the evil government.

[Florida Man]

It is known that if you support one government function, you support all government functions.

[SusanM]

A point.

[Agammamon]

But still – why would they think that the USPS would still deliver? *I* wouldn’t have counted on it and am pretty surprised that the USPS actually did the whole ‘gloom of night’ bit.

[SusanM]

And even so, why trust it? They could easily sneak in RFID trackers, mics and tiny cameras, if nothing else.

[Florida Man]

I wouldn’t count on the USPS or private company delivering during an armed occupation. The evil post office quip felt a little too “but da Roadz”.

[SusanM]

Merely some levity. As if armed militiamen getting care packages of dildos and lube wasn’t funny all by itself.

[Florida Man]

My mistake if I misread you.

[SusanM]

All good.

[Mr Lizard]

The USPS needs the revenue

[straffinrun]

I’m too drunk to find the link, but the Feds have been out posing as protesters.

[SusanM]

http://thefreethoughtproject.c…..g-militia/ ?

[straffinrun]

Yeah, that’s the one. Fucking storm troopers don’t even realize what assholes they are.

[Mr Lizard]

Going strong this morning eh?

*crawls on branch, nods head in solidarity*

[Donaldo Trumpolini]

Clearly, the correct response is to mass mail copies of The Turner Diaries to federal officials.

[invisible furry hand]

Wow, he really did heal the planet

[Fist of Etiquette]

Don’t you see all those hurricanes going on below him? And look, Virginia Beach is completely submerged under the Atlantic, as is New Orleans under the Gulf.

[invisible furry hand]

But Planet Obama is tickety-boo. It has a self-sustaining atmosphere of 100% smug which supports its lifeforms

[Florida Man]

At least most of FL survived.

*shakes fist at Obama*

You missed me again you Sum Bitch!

[Will4Freedom]

So Obama can live in outer space without a space suit? He must REALLY be the Superman liberals claim he is. I mean, he HAS bitched slapped the GOP majority for the past few years, right?

Happy Friday, folks.

[Fist of Etiquette]

It’s completely CGI’d. By the moon you can tell the sun is over the eastern hemisphere, but somehow it’s daytime in the United States.

[Will4Freedom]

Ahhh… I see what you mean. In reality, you can’t see the rings on Saturn from Earth. CGI keeps getting bettter and better. Can hardly tell its not real anymore.

[Rich]

Very nice.

You must have had, um, a ball watching “Gravity”.

[Fist of Etiquette]

OMG. A simple tug and Clooney comes right back.

(Pro tip: Have fun with that sentence by removing the last two words.)

[Swiss Servator]

Pass.

[sloopyinTEXAS]

Can he please reverse the earth’s rotation for, umm, 7 years or so? That would be nice. Then he could ray a bag of kryptonite and fucking die.

[WTF]

NEEDZ. MOAR. LABELZ.

*SLAP!*

[invisible furry hand]

*slap!*

[Rich]

*slap!*

[straffinrun]

*slap*

[Swiss Servator]

*slaps labels on WTF*

[straffinrun]

I’m sitting in a housewife party of 7 Japanese women and 2 of their husbands. They’re jabbering away about God knows what. I get to sneak out for a smoke which is when I get to post this. About ready to plop my white privilege on the table to see if I can steer the conversation in a favourable direction. Advise appreciated.

[sloopyinTEXAS]

So you’re going to put your dong on the table?

That should go over well.

[Rich]

Bring your posting device in and ask the group to rock out to this.

[Florida Man]

Alcohol. The Japanese love alcohol. Get them drunk then bring out your karaoke machine.

[Donaldo Trumpolini]

Arcohor. KARAAAOOOOKKEEEEE! JAPANESE FOR “ASSHOLE WITH A MICROPHONE!”

[Lord Humungus]

laccccistttt!!!!

[Free Market Socialist $park?]

Why don’t people who post between midnight and 5:00am understand sarcasm?

[greasonable]

Probably looking for an angry fix..

[Slammer]

The H.PAYNE sign is so gigantic you can see it from space.

[Swiss Servator]

The BokStar will destroy it!

[Illocust]

I’ll repost in the AM links, but slate has a new abortion article up. The author is completely immune to the irony of her arguments and how they apply to gun control.

http://www.slate.com/articles/….._laws.html

[some guy]

There’s a staaaaaar man waiting in the sky!

[This Is My Last Post]

Interesting approach to Surealism. It is like a cross between Salvador Dali and Rene Magritte.

[Tucci78]

Bah. Absolutely the best cartoon on Obozo’s latest annual bloat-fest….