Politico's Latest Shock Report Reveals That Marco Rubio Likes to Drink Water
There's a suspicious pattern emerging with the candidate.
Politico's latest in-depth report on GOP presidential candidate Marco Rubio reveals something many have long suspected: He likes to drink water. Indeed, he likes to drink water a lot.
We've seen clear evidence that Rubio drinks water before, notably in 2013 when he delivered the GOP's State of the Union response and paused during the middle of his speech to drink water on air. There was no mistaking what was happening as Rubio stopped talking for a moment and reached down
But Politico's 1800-word report on the matter presents the clearest evidence yet that Rubio not only drinks water, he likes to drink it all the time, especially while making political speeches.
But the water tic has persisted and remained noticeable on the campaign trail this fall, drawing comment from those who have worked with and watched the Florida senator. Like Richard Nixon's perspiring or John Boehner's crying, Rubio's need for constant hydration is a bodily quirk that impinges on his political life.
The 44-year-old senator takes care to ensure the availability of water at his public events and can be particular about how he takes it. His advance team has mandated exact requirements for the vessels he will drink out of: stemless glasses—not stemmed ones or water bottles. He reaches for it constantly during public remarks. Its absence has thrown off his delivery, and he and his campaign have acknowledged its presence by attempting to turn it into a joke. On the trail, he has even asked hecklers to time their outbursts around his breaks for it.
"Marco does have a water thing," said one longtime Rubio associate who has been affiliated with his past campaigns.
Indeed, as Politico reports, Rubio doesn't just have a "water thing," he often talks about it during his speeches, not-so-subtly referencing his current thirst as well as his most famous water grab. There can be little doubt that he both drinks the stuff frequently and makes light of the practice.
The report raises some potentially difficult questions for the Rubio campaign. Rumors have long swirled that Rubio has some sort of skeletons in his closet, and that a full vetting might raise serious questions about his candidacy. Are we finally starting to see some of that submerged info come into the public eye?
This isn't the first time that a major news outlet has published a deep dive in Rubio's history. In June, we learned that after Rubio received an $800,000 advance for a book, he paid off his school loans—and then, The New York Times reported, he bought a "luxury speedboat." The craft in question was later reported to be medium-sized fishing boat, but either way, there's little question that Rubio bought the boat.
And then there is the matter of Rubio's driving record. In another story from over the summer, The New York Times also reported that Rubio himself had recieved four separate driving infractions since 1997, including one for running a red light and another for speeding.
There's a clear pattern emerging here. Add it all up—the boat, the speeding ticket, and now this so-called "water thing"—there's only one conclusion to be drawn: Marco Rubio lives in Florida.
Having grown up in the Sunshine State, and thus being all too familiar with its strange and sometimes disturbing culture, I'm still not quite willing to say that this makes him unfit for the presidency. But it is something that voters should know.
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Marco Rubio lives in Florida.
Having grown up in the state, I'm not quite willing to say that this makes him unfit for the presidency.
Well, I am.
Mandrake, have you ever seen a commie drink a glass of water?
P.O.E.
You're gonna have to answer to the Coca-Cola company.
He likely drinks tap water.
Tap water, in most areas, has fluoride.
Fluoride, as we well know, is added by our fascist corporate overlords for mind control purposes.
Therefore, Rubio is a mind-controlled corporate slave.
QED, folks.
We're through the looking glass here, people.
I thought it was the drinking glass...
I thought fluoride was a communist plot. Isn't that what the Birchers say?
So, Marco Rubio is Florida Man?
My favorite hit piece on Rubio is this one:
headlined: Before Senate win, Rubio turned political 'juice' into personal profits
Rubio is a typical politician, news at eleven.
Maybe he's trying to cure his diabetes?
This actually makes me consider Rubio much more favorably. Hydration is so important.
This thing where everyone walks around with a bottle of water strapped to their bag at all times drives me nuts for some reason. It's like a fetish for some people.
I just wear a hydration vest everywhere.
+1 CamelBak
We call that a "stilsuit".
So Rubio is Maud'dib? Or is he God Emperor Leto II?
I'm with you, there's just something odd about the practice.
It is one of my many fetishes, you monster.
Do you use it? I have never actually seen anyone drink in public. I hope your other fetishes have more meaning.
I meant that I drink a lot of water (probably too much water).
Well, I suppose it might be an evironmentalist affectation for some. But if it's cold water, you don't want the bottle seating all over the inside of your bag. And I'd rather drink my own tap water than pay someone a dollar to bottle, ship and display the same thing in a disposable bottle.
Overrated. I've been hydrating for years and it hasn't done dick for me.
The whole "eight glasses a day thing" is a myth too.
That one was particularly silly. Obviously what you do and consume during a day is going to make a big difference to how much water you need to drink.
But I think a lot of people are chronically a bit dehydrated.
In the pocket of Perrier!
How awesome it would be if he do a spit take on national TV in reaction to one of Trump's answers.
He's flaunting his water wealth when California is experiencing a drought. Republicans war on water!
Well, I never!
So Rubio drinking water during public appearances is an unacceptable trait in a Presidential candidate but Hilary being unable to handle more than one email account is something the American electorate should not care about? I hope Politico brought some decnt spelunking equipment with how far they are crawling up their own asses.
Your powers are growing weak, old man media.
That is pretty sad. What's next, he likes to eat food when he's hungry? We need the scoop, Politico!
"Senator Rubio, a quick question: Are your shoes untied?"
"Made him look! Post it on the wire services!"
Headline: Republican wearing loafers falls for 'made you look'
"Republicans are so dumb, which makes us so smart. Let's go get some sushi and not pay."
He probably drinks Koch super GMO monocle water
Water distilled from the tears of orphans and vanquished foes. The extracted salt is used to season their Kobe beef.
From special GMO Kobe cattle that are genetically engineered to be able to comprehend exactly what's going to happen to them. The existential stress makes the flesh so much more tender.
At least they won't be using the 'gate' suffix on this particular scandal.
Hydrationgate?
Looks like I'll finally get to dust off all my old Watergate signs!
I'm disappointed they didn't use "Watergate" in the headline or article.
Shillin' for Big Dihydrogen Monoxide
if you call it "big DHM" it sounds eviler
This would seem to be a ripe topic for Pirate Truther.
Where is our cycloptic colleague?
I thought Suderman hit his head and was delirious or something. So I followed the link and....read 1800 words about Marco Rubio's water consumption habits.
What in the hell? Just....what....?
I don't want to give the article a page click. Tempted to, but I doubt Politico will discern between people genuinely interested in this kind of shit and those coming to gawk at their derp.
Soo Soo SOOK!
I'm not voting for anyone so wasteful of water. Doesn't even wear a stillsuit!
He just wants to have water handy in the event that his pants spontaneously combust.
It is odd that the dude doesn't have enough self control to last five minutes on camera without a glass of water.
Makes me wonder about OCD tendencies. How much leverage will our adversaries have over him by withholding water from the negotiating table?
"What will you drink if you stop drinking?"
"I shall drink water."
[pause]
"It's a mixer, Patsy. We have it with whiskey."
Wait a second. I know what's going on. That's not ordinary water. That's fracking water.
You're telling me he is about to spontaneously combust?
Possibly fart.
Taking a sip of water during that State of the Union response constituted some sort of major gaffe at the time. Politico-type shitheads talked about it for a week.
He's just proving that he's not a humaniform robot. Though I won't believe it myself until he eats an apple...
Fish fuck in it.
I'd never seen it before. Admittedly, it was very awkward. I wonder what he would be like during a one-to-one debate.
Forget the water. He owns a speedboat and a gun. That makes him a Florida man. Or a narcotrafficante, whatever.
I heard that there is a compound in water called di-hydrogen monoxide. It kills people. Most likely put there by corp america. I don't know he can drink that much.
Happy New Year 2016
good one