A.M. Links: Trump and Carson Still Top Polls, Trudeau Elected Prime Minister of Canada, Scientists Perform First Surgery on Human Genome

• 

  Credit: Todd Kranin

  Liberal leader Justin Trudeau has been elected prime minister of Canada.

• Donald Trump and Ben Carson continue to top the polls in the GOP presidential race.

• Jim Webb may run for president as an independent.

• Joe Biden 2016: Will he or won't he?

• "I just don't like the guy." Former President George W. Bush is not a fan of Ted Cruz.

• Scientists have performed the first surgery on the human genome.

New at Reason

• Brickbat: Dirty Laundry By Charles Oliver

• Junk Science and Campus Rape A new inquiry casts serious doubt on the most influential study on collegiate sexual assault. By Robby Soave

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Comments

[Fist of Etiquette]

Liberal leader Justin Trudeau has been elected prime minister of Canada.,/i

Their dreamy empty suit isn't even black. Canada is so racist.

[Rich]

Can we get a ruling on this being first?

[gaijin]

the first post to screw up the tag today.

[Fist of Etiquette]

I do that every once in a while so that everyone knows I'm posting on the fly.

[Bobarian (Would Chip Her)]

Screw up the fag?

Gay basher!

/Need to wear glasses in the AM

[Rufus J. Firefly]

Hello.

North America is now in the hands of a community organizer and substitute teacher. I can't believe Canada gave this vapid twit a Majority on the first shot.

Also. 62% OF CANADIANS DIDN'T VOTE FOR TRUDEAU!

Remember when the left screamed and hollered like a bunch of whiny little putzes '66% of Canadians didn't vote for Harper' and then started all sorts of online petitions demanding he govern accordingly?

Yeah. I wonder if they'll do the same here.

I'm guessing not.

[Gordilocks]

Shiny Pony 2015 - If Looks Could Thrill

[Rhywun]

Hell, more than that didn't vote for Deblasio here in NYC but that hasn't stopped him from gallivanting around the world and blathering his prog fantasies to anyone who will listen.

Politics seems to attract narcissistic blowhards - who knew?

[Old Man With Candy]

We've seen his mom's snatch (not just Episiarch this time), so he's got that goin' for him.

[Old Man With Candy]

Justin Trudeau- where did he come from?

[Rufus J. Firefly]

She's hot.

And unstable.

[Rich]

And NSFW.

[Old Man With Candy]

Next up, shots of Barbara Bush's bush.

[Lee G]

For you

[Old Man With Candy]

No nudity, I am disappoint.

[commodious spittoon]

This is why I have to load up H&R on the computer and my phone.

That's not a complaint.

[Just a thought not a sermon]

102) Over on Marginal Revolution the other day, the commenters had a discussion in which Taylor Swift was compared to John Lennon and Bob Dylan. And a few weeks ago, a friend mentioned how he he'd seen Taylor Swift in concert last year and it was such a great show.

Now my daughter (six years old) likes Taylor Swift, and I have heard a number of her songs, but nothing that stuck in my head for more than 30 seconds after the song was over. Obviously she's had a lot of commercial success, but I had attributed that to her being this generation's best balancer of catchiness and inoffensiveness, rather than any sort of song-writing genius.

So I looked up some of her lyrics and?they appear to be pretty bland and generic. Am I missing something? If she is a great songwriter, is there some song I should start with? What am I not hearing that others are? Because at the moment, not only would I not put her in my top ten songwriters list, I probably wouldn't put her in my top 1000.

[Rich]

Did you try playing her songs backwards?

[Rufus J. Firefly]

'Let's get rid of Clarence and steal his good ideas'.

[Notorious UGCC]

If you play them backwards, you can hear her singing "Stand By Your Man."

[Rich]

😎

[AlmightyJB]

I think it's a chick thing. They evidently relate to what she has to say. I'm with you though.

[Just a thought not a sermon]

Could be. I don't know, though. I like a lot of chick songwriters. Shawn Colvin, Natalie Merchant, Chrissie Hynde. Nothing I've heard from Taylor Swift is on that level.

[Notorious UGCC]

Don't forget this chick.

[DJF]

Great voice, great song, needs more cowbell.

[lap83]

"I think it's a chick thing"

Crusty is not a chick, as far as I know

[Crusty Juggler]

This.

[Bobarian (Would Chip Her)]

Crusty is not a chick, as far as I know

Lesbian trapped in Crusty body?

"Crusty is a good woman... then again, he may be the anti-christ"

[AlmightyJB]

"he may be the anti-christ"

That would explain a lot.

[Old Man With Candy]

Am I missing something?

A sense of history. The same shit was said about Bobby Sherman and David Cassidy back in their day.

[pan fried wylie]

Who?

[Juvenile Bluster]

No, you've got it. My 6 year old daughter loves Taylor Swift. I'll admit that sometimes her songs get in my head, but the lyrics are very generic. She's a good singer though.

[SugarFree]

Swift benefits from standing on top of a very, very low hill. Think Luke Wilson's character in Idiocracy.

[Almanian's Rusty Woodchipper]

So - you're saying Taylor Swift has what plants crave?

[Lee G]

+1 Brawndo

[SugarFree]

Yes. And compared to Ninki Minaj she is a goddamn towering musical Beethoven supergenius.

[Heroic Mulatto]

Fuck you.

This dude named Michael used to ride motorcycles
Dick bigger than a tower, I ain't talking about Eiffel's
Real country-ass nigga, let me play with his rifle
Pussy put his ass to sleep, now he calling me NyQuil
Now that bang, bang, bang
I let him hit it cause he slang cocaine
He toss my salad like his name Romaine
And when we done, I make him buy me Balmain

That's like Homer "wine-dark sea" level of poetry.

[Swiss Servator]

*narrows gaze*

[Charles Easterly]

I'm not so sure, HM.

Now, I'm not claiming that Nikki is the worst, but Homer she's not.

[Heroic Mulatto]

but Homer she's not.

Well, she ain't been blinded by deez nuts, yet.

[SugarFree]

Wow. I was so wrong. Especially when these searing lyrics are sung in the voice of a Smurf halfway up Gargamel's ass.

[AlmightyJB]

Lol:)

[SugarFree]

Motorcycl'd Michael, be-penised unto a tower in Fair Paris
Wine-Dark Michael, hale from farmwork, taught Cunning Nicki of his sword
Tireful Nicki in all night coupling did strike Reclining Michael like the Lotus
Now that tramp, tramp, tramp unto Polyphemus
Flower Nicki opening to Wakeful Michael,
Lettuce Michael and Storm-Tossed Nicki onto Far Romaine
And did Michael, Morotorcycl'd Michael, dress Fashionable Nicki

[Bobarian (Would Chip Her)]

There once was a rapping tomato,
That's right I said rapping tomato,
He rapped all day from April to May,
And also guess what, it was me.

Homer?

[Just say Nikki]

Team HM.

[Heroic Mulatto]

The conceit is that nicole has been Nicki Minaj all this time!

[Just say Nikki]

I wish I could spit like that.

[commodious spittoon]

That Nicki Swift girl is pretty dirty.

[Almanian's Rusty Woodchipper]

Yes. This!

[Crusty Juggler]

So I looked up some of her lyrics and?they appear to be pretty bland and generic.

Uh-oh, you just lit the "swiftie" signal. There but for the grace of God go I.

[lap83]

She's just the latest teeny bopper craze. John Lennon benefited a lot from crazy young girl fans too.

[straffinrun]

And yet he chose Yoko. I literally could throw a rock off my balcony and hit three hotter Japanese chicks.

[Rich]

Don't you DARE!!

[UnCivilServant]

But after being hit with the rock, would they go out with you?

[straffinrun]

You have a better way to pick up girls?

[pan fried wylie]

I mean, that's how it works over there, right?

[Careless]

Head trauma sounds like a plus for him

[sarcasmic]

My only conclusion is that Yoko must have been incredible in bed. I can't think of any other reason to stick with that ugly troll with that fucked up voice.

[BigT]

John had mommy issues. Yoko filled that void.

[sarcasmic]

His mom was fat? Oh, wrong John.

[Brett L]

She was also the daughter of a billionaire who understood business and the ways of the super-rich. It was probably a relief to a conflicted working-class guy who suddenly found himself at the helm of the second truly monetized music brand.

[Crusty Juggler]

John Lennon benefited a lot from crazy young girl fans too.

The proper term is Swiftie.

A Swiftie will defend Taylor if one critizises her.

A Swiftie will support Taylor.
A Swiftie will help other Swifties.
A Swiftie will do anything for each other and Taylor.

A Swiftie follows the basic life rules of being a fan and a friend of the amazing Taylor Swift

[commodious spittoon]

I wonder whether women get the same douchechill cringes that men do when they think about how they spent their youth.

[Clich? Bandit]

I am proud of every KISS and Def Leppard album I ever owned. I currently have a complete collection of the 1980s on my phone. I am instructing my daughter in the ways of Heart and Joan Jett. I HAVE POURED SOME SUGAR ON MYSELF IN SIBERIA! so...no douchehill cringing here.

[Clich? Bandit]

I am proud of every KISS and Def Leppard album I ever owned. I currently have a complete collection of the 1980s on my phone. I am instructing my daughter in the ways of Heart and Joan Jett. I HAVE POURED SOME SUGAR ON MYSELF IN SIBERIA! so...no douchehill cringing here.

[Clich? Bandit]

AND I DOUBLE POST

(We ATE squirrels in the 80s)

[AlmightyJB]

Did they just replace juggalo with swifty?

[pan fried wylie]

Time to get Schwiftie in here!

[Mickey Rat]

So it is more or less a cult.

[Lee G]

Legs, you're missing the legs. That, and parents aren't afraid of her.

[Rich]

Yet. Remember Hannah Montana.

[UnCivilServant]

Someone needs to get her off the stage and get her help, the self-destruction is just plain sad.

[Zeb]

Too skinny.

[AlmightyJB]

I'd hit it

[Zeb]

Well, yeah. I wouldn't kick her out of bed for eating crackers. But there are a lot of other women who I will never meet who I'd pick first.

[The Shrubber's Woodchipper]

Does she write her own songs?

[SugarFree]

Supposedly. That's part of her schtick.

[Mrs. Lemuel Struthers]

I enjoy Taylor Swift but then I have no musical taste whatsoever.

She's a pop artist - a good quality pop artist - that's all.

[lap83]

Her songs don't make me want to go on a murderous rampage like with Katy Perry's songs, I will give her that

[AlmightyJB]

Perry has nicer boobies though

[lap83]

so do I, but I don't think that gives me a pass to engage in musical torture

[AlmightyJB]

It might

[Bobarian (Would Chip Her)]

Perry has world class boobies. Elmo likes!

SFW.

[pan fried wylie]

Elmo likes!

Today's show is brought to you by the letter 'B'. or 'DD', whatever.

[Crusty Juggler]

Taylor Swift definitely appeals to more than just twelve-year-old's.

[Heroic Mulatto]

Are you composed of Barium, Silicon, Carbon, Bismuth, Technetium, and Hydrogen?

[Mrs. Lemuel Struthers]

I also like Chipotle and Starbucks, so yes, yes I am.

[Heroic Mulatto]

Dear God...you're planning on wearing a "slutty" Halloween costume this year...aren't you? It's not too late; there are treatments available!

[Warty]

Something seems wrong with her face to me. Was she maybe Stalloned out of the womb with forceps?

[Crusty Juggler]

I just can't...

[Charles Easterly]

"I just can't..."

I thought you "would" given the chance.

[sarcasmic]

Did you like look up "We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together"?

She like says "ever" like twice in a row!

That's like so deep and stuff!

[Elspeth Flashman]

My son thinks she's hot. He drew a picture of himself recycling with her (during earth week). Aww.

[Bobarian (Would Chip Her)]

I know this is contentious around here, but that sounds kinda beta, Mom.

Put that boy in a deer stand, stat!

[pan fried wylie]

Yeah, i'd put a wicked Alabama Recycler on her too.

wait, that wasn't a euphemism, was it.....

[PBR Streetgang]

Instead of listening to Taylor Swift, listen to Ryan Adam's cover of her "1989" album.

[Crusty Juggler]

Blasphemer!

[PBR Streetgang]

Ryan Adams is great. Even if he IS canadian.

[Just say Nikki]

TSwift sucks. You're fine.

[MJGreen - Docile Citizen]

The most I know of her songwriting is from that Coke commercial, where she says something like, "I don't know about you, but I'm feeling like 22." Some stupid shit like that. I think we are supposed to be impressed by that.

[Crusty Juggler]

Some of us are.

[Bill Dalasio]

My impression is that it's the triumph of the cultural pose. The Right People have deemed Taylor part of the club. She has the right social media friends. Hence people are able to signal (I know, I know, everybody's sick of the reference) that they're one of the elect.

Of course, given the obscurity in my taste in music, I'd probably just be labeled a hipster douche (sorry, it doesn't really work at my age).

[pan fried wylie]

(sorry, it doesn't really work at my age).

"I was a hipster before hipsters were cool to hate."

[SimonJester]

http://www.theguardian.com/us-.....are_btn_tw

Homan Square revealed: how Chicago police 'disappeared' 7,000 people

[Just a thought not a sermon]

Actually, in the article, 7,000 is only the number the Guardian could confirm. The actual total is likely many times higher.

And by disappeared, the article means for a few hours or days, to keep the suspects out of reach of lawyers. Not that the people are dead.

[Aloysious]

fta: [the] Numbers are 'hard to believe'

It's Chicago. For me, it's easy to believe.

[Mrs. Lemuel Struthers]

Chicago police 'disappeared' 7,000 people

I haven't seen Irish around lately. Now we know why.

[Rich]

Joe Biden 2016: Will he or won't he?

Only his hairplugger knows for sure.

[gaijin]

Scientists have performed the first surgery on the human genome.

a hip replacement?

[Lord Humungus]

Charles Cooke: Notes on a Ridiculous Meme

Socialist programs in the U.S.: The Department of Agriculture, Amber Alerts, Amtrak, Public Beaches, Public Busing Services, Business Subsidies, The Census Bureau, The CIA, Federal Student Loans, The Court System, Dams, Public Defenders, Disability Insurance, The Department of Energy, The EPA, Farm Subsidies, The FBI, The FCC, The FDA, FEMA, Fire Departments, Food Stamps, Garbage Collection, Health Care, Public Housing, The IRS, Public Landfills, Public Libraries, Medicare, Medicaid, The Military, State and National Monuments, Public Museums, NASA, The National Weather Service, NPR, Public Parks, PBS, The Peace Corps, Police Departments, Prisons and Jails, Public Schools, Secret Service, Sewer Systems, Snow Removal Services, Social Security, Public Street Lighting, The Department of Transportation, USPS, Vaccines, Veteran Health Care, Welfare, The White House, The WIC Program, State Zoos.

The history of this meme is the history of rank stupidity. Tweeting it out yesterday, the documentarian and serial fabulist Michael Moore appended an approving jab of his own. "Outrageous!" Moore wrote in ersatz indignation, "my taxes are redistributed to plow someone else's street! Socialism!"

[Grand Moff Serious Man]

It makes perfect sense when you consider that to socialists words have no set meaning and can change according to expedience.

They've mastered the art of Doublethink.

[Monty Crisco]

HEY!! Hillary has "taken responsibility" for the server and email issues!!!
(And by "take responsibility" she means she has said out loud that she takes responsibility and then done nothing else...)
Now, if you will kindly DROP the issue, please....

[Notorious UGCC]

So, they're saying (a) they're socialist and (b) socialism means government ownership?

[Juvenile Bluster]

I'm just still wondering when "socialist" became a positive thing for the left? Wasn't it, like, a couple of years ago when they were complaining that it was a derisive slur and people who called their policies socialist didn't know what they were talking about?

[Warty]

I thought it was a racist dogwhistle?

[The Last American Hero]

Only if you accuse the Lightworker of being a socialist.

[Zeb]

Or maybe those who always thought "socialism" was OK are seeing their moment with Sanders.

[Bill Dalasio]

They've always considered socialist a good thing. They just resented anyone acknowledging the nature of what they were advocating because they were convinced at the time that socialism wasn't popular. Now that they're convinced that it is, they are happy to own the term. When people start experiencing the cost of its failure, they'll be quick enough to not want socialism pointed out.

[Warty]

By sewing together ideas that deserve to be separated out, we make ourselves more stupid, less discerning, and decreasingly able to engage in a meaningful debate. Retweet, retweet, retweet!

Chuck, I got bad news for you...

[Mazakon]

Liberal leader Justin Trudeau has been elected prime minister of Canada.

Wonder how Trudeau feels about woodchippers?

[Swiss Servator]

HATE SPEECH!

"Mounties, seize him!"

[Gordilocks]

I dream of seeing an industrial sized woodchipper, the kind you need a rig with which to take into the forest. Mark Steyn and Ezra Levant are at the controls, and it is so loud, you cannot hear the screams of the 'Human Rights' commissars as they are fed into it.

[Mazakon]

To my family, Trudeau was such a bad option that even my brother who thinks the rich don't pay enough voted for Harper.

[Rufus J. Firefly]

I still don't understand this madness about the rich not paying enough.

IT'S FUCKEN CANADA. They pay more than anyone else and the bulk of the taxes.

Where the fuck did this bull shit come from?

[Mrs. Lemuel Struthers]

Did you see Fargo last night? Because meat grinders are the new wood chippers. Stay current!

[Crusty Juggler]

"okay then."

And spoiler alert yourself, yo.

[Mrs. Lemuel Struthers]

Jon Snow is dead. BOOYAH!

[Crusty Juggler]

I really liked the show last season, and the first episode this season was outstanding.

[Mrs. Lemuel Struthers]

Have you seen the new season of The Leftovers?

Really outstanding.

[But Enough About Me]

Fargo's filmed in and around Calgary (or at least, Season One was). I may have left The Big C, but it's still a great city. Even if parts of it did elect a couple of Liberal MPs last night.

The fargin' bastages.

[Elspeth Flashman]

Fargo is one of my favorite movies.

[Mrs. Lemuel Struthers]

Yeah, I like the Coen brothers, but check out the TV series on FX. In the same spirit, yet different.

[Bobarian (Would Chip Her)]

^^This. The 1st season is a retelling of the movie, but with more depth.

BBT knocked it out of the park.

[SimonJester]

"I just don't like the guy." Former President George W. Bush is not a fan of Ted Cruz.

Better headline:
"Big brother defends little brother against minority bully"

[Drake]

Ted Cruz is now officially my number two choice in the GOP. Keep making the right enemies and he may pass Paul.

[Just a thought not a sermon]

"Jim Webb may run for president as an independent."

I would be very interested to see what platform Jim Webb would come up with if he didn't have to conform to Democratic Party expectations.

[Rich]

Yep. This *could* get interesting.

[Old Man With Candy]

He'll have his ten minutes.

[Raven Nation]

Gary Johnson/Jim Webb?

[VicRattlehead]

Gary hasnt announced hes running i dont think, still would be an interesting( I) ticket

[Atanarjuat]

He's sending emails (I'm still on the list from last election).

I can't imagine he'd team up with Webb, but stranger things have happened.

[Bill Dalasio]

Don't think he'll go anywhere. Like Paul, he's gotten caught up in the perfect storm of the base rising the level of derpitude of their respective parties' establishments.

[Lord Humungus]

German MPs 'drawing up plans' to close borders in challenge to Merkel's refugee policy

German MPs have reportedly drawn up plans to close the country's borders in a direct challenge to Angela Merkel's refugee policy.

The move is the latest threat to the Schengen Agreement on border-free travel in continental Europe.

A group of 188 MPs including many from Mrs Merkel's own Christian Democrat party have prepared laws to fence off sections of the border.

They say they will put them forward if Mrs Merkel does not come up with a solution to the refugee crisis within weeks.

[insert you know who else joke here]

[Citizen X]

I don't get it.

[Rich]

You know who else took care of the borders ....

[Just a thought not a sermon]

Amazon?

[Rich]

LOL

[gaijin]

^now that is excellent!

[Swiss Servator]

*applause*

[Swiss Servator]

You know who else didn't get it?

[UnCivilServant]

Me?

[Rich]

The Pope?

[Citizen X]

Your mom?

Just kidding. We all know your mom gets it, usually a couple times an hour.

[straffinrun]

Me. Clowns aren't scary.

[Almanian's Rusty Woodchipper]

Jack Burton?

[Charles Easterly]

Who?

[Rhywun]

Turkey has continued to drive a hard bargain. Ahmet Davutoglu, the Turkish prime minister, said on Monday that his country was "not a concentration camp" and would not host migrants permanently to appease the EU.

ORLY? I thought international law said otherwise.

[Elspeth Flashman]

too soon, Germany.

[Bobarian (Would Chip Her)]

The German's don't normally close the border until they've already invaded.

[Lord Humungus]

Vox: Democrats are in denial. Their party is actually in deep trouble.

Not only have Republicans won most elections, but they have a perfectly reasonable plan for trying to recapture the White House. But Democrats have nothing at all in the works to redress their crippling weakness down the ballot. Democrats aren't even talking about how to improve on their weak points, because by and large they don't even admit that they exist.

Instead, the party is focused on a competition between Bernie Sanders and Hillary Clinton over whether they should go a little bit to Obama's left or a lot to his left, options that are unlikely to help Democrats down-ballot in the face of an unfriendly House map and a more conservative midterm electorate. The GOP might be in chaos, but Democrats are in a torpor.

[Rufus J. Firefly]

That actually sounds....lucid!

[Monty Crisco]

FROM VOX?!?!?!?! What next - actual COHERENCE from Salon?!?!?!

[UnCivilServant]

I know - and these people fail at everything.

Is this their attempt at parody, but it failed?

[Illocust]

Huh, pretty good article. I've been hearing for a while that the Republicans did a good job about ten years back of focusing on the lower offices, and that's why they are so strong now. I wonder why they saw the need to focus and the Dems didn't see the need to fight back. Party leadership aren't often stupid, and it would seem they should be able to notice the obvious play.

[Bobarian (Would Chip Her)]

Party leadership aren't often stupid,

Debbie Wasserman Schultz is a GLARING counter-example to your statement.

Maybe you put in an extraneous "n't" in that sentence?

[Idle Hands]

and from matty y no less.

[MJGreen - Docile Citizen]

I do like he and Vox use "their" instead of "our." As if he's some neutral observer who noticed that this "Democrat Party" is in some trouble.

[SimonJester]

They don't need to worry about the lower positions. If they can get Hillary or Bernie, it is just a matter of consolidating power into the executive branch. As Emperor, s/he can then just appoint the appropriate seats. They are putting all their eggs into the "consolidation" basket.

[Brett L]

Blind hog comes across acorn.

[Mazakon]

Washington Post: Sunscreen protects you, but kills coral reefs

The sunscreen that snorkelers, beachgoers and children romping in the waves lather on for protection is killing coral and reefs around the globe. And a new study finds that a single drop in a small area is all it takes for the chemicals in the lotion to mount an attack.

The study, released Tuesday, was conducted in the U.S. Virgin Islands and Hawaii several years after a chance encounter between a group of researchers on one of those Caribbean beaches, Trunk Bay, and a vendor waiting for the day's invasion of tourists. Just wait to see what they'd leave behind, he told the scientists ? "a long oil slick." His comment sparked the idea for the research.

[Lee G]

Forgive me father, for I have sinned....

[Tejicano]

Forgive me father, for I have sunned....

[straffinrun]

Strange. I though Virgins liked lotion.

[Monty Crisco]

What the fuck is it that makes coral reefs so fragile?!?? I always remember people acting like they are the boy in the plastic bubble.... Well, if me just barely touching the fucking thing results in its dying, then maybe it wasn't the heartiest of organisms and not really fit for the wild.

Fuck Coral Reefs...

[Rich]

Now, *that* is HATE SPEECH!

[UnCivilServant]

What the fuck is it that makes coral reefs so fragile?!?? I always remember people acting like they are the boy in the plastic bubble.... Well, if me just barely touching the fucking thing results in its dying, then maybe it wasn't the heartiest of organisms and not really fit for the wild.

It's more like Corals are Emo Nihilists who live on the corpses of their families in a metastable state. Disturb it and they commit suicide.

[gaijin]

Why do you hate NEMO!

[Just a thought not a sermon]

No idea if this study is scientifically valid. Still, it's refreshing to see something that attributes coral reef death to a factor other than global warming.

[Monty Crisco]

No, they died because YOU touched it, or YOU had so much sunscreen on the poor thing couldn't handle it!! YOU DID IT!!

Fuck coral reefs...fuck 'em with a frozen swordfish...

[Atanarjuat]

Vogon?

[Atanarjuat]

The natural forces of Vogsphere worked overtime to make up for their blunder. They brought forth scintillating jeweled scuttling crabs, which the Vogons ate, smashing them with large iron mallets; aspiring trees which the Vogons cut down to use the firewood for cooking the crabs; and elegant gazellelike creatures with dewy eyes which the Vogons would catch and sit on (they were useless for transport because their backs snapped under the weight, but the Vogons sat on them anyway).

For the reference above.

By all means, let's just yell about smashing a beautiful and unique life-form, instead of calmly allowing the market to come up with reef-friendly sun protection.

[Monty Crisco]

I am strangely okay with this....

Yeah, my comment stands.

[Atanarjuat]

Yeah, I say let it stand, typos, "chemicalz", and general scientific illiteracy on display to all.

[Lord Humungus]

An Australian zoo is encouraging people to collect one of the world's deadliest spiders

Among the many deadly creatures native to Australia, one of the scarier is the "extremely aggressive" funnel-web spider: Its bite can kill a person in 15 minutes.

Nevertheless, the Australian Reptile Park, a zoo located about an hour north of Sydney, is requesting that people collect live funnel-web spiders and deliver them to its offices. Not for fun, of course?but to help make the only cure for a funnel-web spider bite.

The Australian Reptile Park specializes in collecting snake and spider venom for Australia's bioCSL, which manufactures the world's only antivenoms (PDF) for funnel-webs and other Australian species. The park's staff members are trained to "milk" the venom out of the spiders, which are difficult to breed in captivity.

[Elspeth Flashman]

Um, I'll get right on that.

[Lord Humungus]

A health law fine on the uninsured will more than double

The math is harsh: The federal penalty for having no health insurance is set to jump to $695, and the Obama administration is being urged to highlight that cold fact in its new pitch for health law sign-ups.

That means the 2016 sign-up season starting Nov. 1 could see penalties become a bigger focus for millions of people who have remained eligible for coverage, but uninsured. They're said to be squeezed for money, and skeptical about spending what they have on health insurance.

Until now, health overhaul supporters have stressed the benefits: taxpayer subsidies that pay roughly 70 percent of the monthly premium, financial protection against sudden illness or an accident, and access to regular preventive and follow-up medical care.

[MJGreen - Docile Citizen]

the Obama administration is being urged to highlight that cold fact in its new pitch for health law sign-ups.

Ahh, the sales technique of the Obama administration: sign up or you'll be punished!

[Bobarian (Would Chip Her)]

Maybe if they threatened to take all health-care away?

/Obama Gun Sales, inc.

[Notorious UGCC]

"Joe Biden 2016: Will he or won't he?"

I'm on the edge of my...zzzzzz...

[straffinrun]

Frank and beans moment, Notorious?

[Grand Moff Serious Man]

Liberal leader Justin Trudeau has been elected prime minister of Canada.

Never doubt the power and influence of Doonesbury.

[Rich]

Donald Trump and Ben Carson continue to top the polls in the GOP presidential race.

How about a Trump-Carson ticket?

However, I hope Carson gets the nod so I can call people RACIST for not voting for him.

[Atanarjuat]

Trust me, it won't work, leftists are ready for this kind of rhetorical attack. First, how can they be racist, they're not Republican (*chorus of smug nodding*)? Second, they probably will have a series of thinly-veiled racist attacks they will brazenly make in broad daylight and dare anyone "serious" to call them on it, see the attacks on Herman Cain and Clarence Thomas.

[Lord Humungus]

America, Please Stop Glorifying Manufacturing Jobs

In the 1950s, these kinds of jobs may have offered the security and pensions that people sought ? considering the other options. Today, Americans have easier access to education and far more vocational diversity. There is no need romanticize a far less dynamic time in American history.

Evidently, presidential candidates have no problem imagining a future where other people's grandchildren toil on assembly lines slapping together cheap toys or solar panels. None of them will say, "When elected president I will make it a top priority to create more underpaid busywork for all Americans!" Yet, that's exactly the sort of counterproductive policies they typically propose, and the kind voters tend to gravitate towards.

[gaijin]

"Shovel ready", though, those are jobs worth digging!

[Illocust]

There is a strong belief on the left that some people are born too stupid to do anything but manual labor and incapable of the will power to learn a trade. Weirdly enough the middle class and upper class don't seem to produce these type people.

[UnCivilServant]

They're half right, only from observations, these useless people spawn from all economic levels. If there's enough money around, they get shoved through university and become "Diversity Officers" or SJWs.

[Rhywun]

There is a strong belief on the left that some people are born too stupid to do anything but manual labor and incapable of the will power to learn a trade.

Yeah, this pretty much underpins their whole philosophy, from their blather about "income inequality" to "affordable housing" to "living wage" - it's all based on their belief in some sort of caste system. Disgusting, it is.

[Atanarjuat]

And every leftist I've known, no matter how ignorant and low-paid, has believed himself to be at the top of said caste system, for what it's worth.

[Lord Humungus]

Extreme Vegetarianism: Ma Song Piercing in Thailand

Reuters Phuket's annual 10-day vegetarian festival, featuring face-piercing and spirit mediums, celebrates the local Chinese community's belief that abstinence from meat and various stimulants during the ninth lunar month of the Chinese calendar will help them obtain good health and peace of mind.

Fulbright scholar Andreas Schneider writes that the large Chinese immigrant community in Phuket have held the festival since 1825. He says the Ma Song are a "group of religious devotees that engage in extreme forms of self-torture during the Vegetarian Festival." The Ma Song are chosen by the leaders of nine shrines in Phuket. They often volunteer because they experienced life threatening events," Schneider said.

Warning: ouchy pix

[SugarFree]

"group of religious devotees that engage in additional extreme forms of self-torture during the Vegetarian Festival."

Fixed that for her. I mean, they already don't eat meat, right?

[Heroic Mulatto]

I mean, they already don't eat meat, right?

No, many of them are vegetarian only during the festival. Though a sizable proportion do abstain from beef year-round in honor of Guanyin.

[Mrs. Lemuel Struthers]

No, many of them are vegetarian only during the festival.

Do they buy McDonald's Filet-O-Fish on Fridays during Lent like good Catholics?

Trading one religion for another. How sweet.

[Heroic Mulatto]

No, they eat at restaurants flying little yellow flags.

[Rich]

Good Lord.

[Rhywun]

No thanks, I threw up looking at that shit last year.

[Lord Humungus]

Now white people are trying to ruin Star Wars: Racist reaction to new trailer is part Gamergate, part Donald Trump

But when viewed in a broader context, the White Right's childish and petty protests about "Star Wars" are a reminder of how cultural politics reflect deeper social anxieties, worries, and concerns about power in a given society. And while white American conservatives repeatedly bemoan the "Left's" supposed "identity politics"?note how the Right only uses that language to defame those causes (for the rights of gays, lesbians, women, and people of color) it disagrees with?in reality white conservatives and their allies deploy "identity politics" most often, and to the greatest effect, of any group in the United States.

To wit.

The Southern Strategy is a decades-long campaign based on white identity politics that continues to drive the Republican Party; the party itself is the largest white identity organization in the United States.

[Rich]

To be fair, this was a long time ago.

[Sapient Mulch]

And far, far away.

[lap83]

should've refreshed

[lap83]

in a galaxy far far away?

[Juvenile Bluster]

The #BoycottStarWars thing was like 5 alt-right idiots starting it and then a million people making fun of it.

[Lee G]

If they didn't exist, the SJWs would have to invent them.

Oh wait....

[Lee G]

The anti-"Star Wars" lunacy seems laughable, but it's related to the toxic male entitlement corroding our politics

If science fiction has historically represented the White Gaze and Whiteness as the norm, then any efforts to subvert and correct this process of "racial erasure" will be met with anger and upset by those who are invested in it emotionally and/or financially.

What is this, I don't even....

[Idle Hands]

NEW 'STAR WARS' BLASTED AS 'ANTI-WHITE'

'Nothing more than a social justice propaganda piece'

Director J.J. Abrams' political activism has prompted online fans to boycott "Star Wars: The Force Awakens" for being anti-white.

The hashtag #BoycottStarWarsVII exploded on Twitter Monday, just hours before the release of a new trailer during ESPN's Monday Night Football game between the New York Giants and the Philadelphia Eagles. The reason: Abrams' movie is allegedly a dream come true for race activists.

"#BoycottStarWarsVII because it is anti-white propaganda promoting #whitegenocide," an account called End Cultural Marxism said. "A friend in L.A. said #StarWarsVII is basically '[Black Lives Matter activist Deray Mckesson] in Space.' Jewish activist JJ Abrams is an anti-white nut."

[Rich]

HAHAHAHAHAA!!

Oh, wait ... They're *serious*?

[Heroic Mulatto]

What amuses me about the neckbeard Nazi brigade is just how much under a rock they spend their lives. George Lucas has been sleeping with a Black woman for almost a decade, and now, at this late point in time, they start their kvetching? And at what point during its almost 40 years of existence did the neckbeard Nazis ever think Space Buddhism ever had any correlation to their ideology? Just like their support for Trump, you know, the guy with the Orthodox Jewish daughter. How fucking ignorant of the world do you have to be? Jesus fucking Christ, log off of 8chan once in a while and read a fucking book: and by that I mean a book composed mostly of text as opposed to pictures.

[Atanarjuat]

She's a personal friend of Chelsea Clinton's too, apparently.

[Rhywun]

I was planning on boycotting it anyway, so there's that.

[Monty Crisco]

Salon just cannot let go of that "southern strategy' MYTH... it is just too much an irreplaceable part of the utterly false narrative they are trying to purvey...

[Rhywun]

It was a thing at one time, I believe - like 40 or 50 years ago? And totally not the same as the Dem's ongoing pandering to blacks and latinos.

[Heroic Mulatto]

Tammany Hall needs to be the rejoinder to that shit. Just repeat it until it sticks. That having been said, the reverse-carpetbagging Dixiecrats that currently infest a certain wing of the GOP are no myth.

[Monty Crisco]

The DIXIECRATS are still a thing?!?!? Really, HM? Name two....

[Heroic Mulatto]

The DIXIECRATS are still a thing?!?!?

Their spiritual successors, yes.

Name two....

Umm...any one with a platform that combines populist handouts with social conservatism.

Deal with it.

[Monty Crisco]

That awesome clip aside, I am finding that argument less than persuasive.

The dixiecrats WERE a real thing way back about 50 years ago, but I see NO sign that modern socons in the GOP are racist at all. IF you are talking Huckabee and Santorum, yes, they are socon dicks, but hardly a dixiecrat segragationist.

[Heroic Mulatto]

Ah, I see where we differ. I'm not limiting the term to Jim Crow supporting George Wallace types, but I'm using in the more general sense of Southern RINO who espouses socon-ism with a healthy dose of "hands off my Medicare!"...at least that's how we use the term up here.

[Monty Crisco]

Okay, terms. But still ... "dixiecrat" is a STRONG term to bandy about. And if we are using it to refer to GOP members willing to go in for free shit, then lets just say ALL of them...

Not convinced there is a true fiscal conservative in EITHER party...

[The Late P Brooks]

Democrats aren't even talking about how to improve on their weak points, because by and large they don't even admit that they exist.

Democrats* are not big on self-reflection.

*nor are Republicans

[straffinrun]

Pretty sure blood sucking night creatures don't have reflections.

[Lord Humungus]

hey this sounds like a party!

Cucks, wimps and feminazis: Trump, Carson and anti-PC crowd bed down with white supremacists, women haters, race baiters
Some PC opponents have good intentions. Trouble is, they have the most nauseating, vitriolic allies in politics

This theater of the anti-P.C. crusade doesn't make it into the New York Times, but it rages on social media and online message boards parallel to the sanitized forms it takes when uttered by Donald Trump or President Obama. Thus, the anti-P.C. position manifests in two very different ways and in two very different segments of U.S. political culture: it's respectable politics, even politically correct to be against political correctness; but it's also a signal to bigots and misogynists that the real problem all along has been man-hating "feminazis" and white-hating people of color and heterophobic gays and their wussy ("wussy" is a euphemism) liberal enablers. This is why it's so crucial for the serious critics of campus political correctness not to oversell their positions by portraying a world in which society's least powerful are suddenly the oppressor class. It's sensible to critique the excesses of political correctness, but dangerous to feed anger with distortion

[Rich]

Road rage detector to hit market

TW: Autostart

The seat detects stress and fatigue via built in seat sensors, and then offers a customized treatment to the driver

by ejecting his ass out of the car.

[Monty Crisco]

THIS is road rage!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L13Z7Aa7ZXQ

"You just hit him on purpose!!!"
"I don't care...."

[Idle Hands]

Why I won't date another 'male feminist':

In theory, it sounds excellent. It would be a hard slog to have a relationship with someone whose sociopolitical stance differs hugely from yours, so when I first began identifying as a feminist I thought that my beliefs would carry over seamlessly in to my dating life as well. I'm a feminist, so shouldn't the men I date and sleep with be feminists too?
Unfortunately, it wasn't quite so simple. From the man who opened a text conversation with a photo of his naked chest and encouraged me to reciprocate in the name of the Free The Nipple movement, to the fellow who agonised over accepting a blowjob because, despite enjoying them, he found the act simply too degrading to let me perform; dating male feminists turned out to be one of the least empowering decisions I've ever made.
But men looking for feminist-sanctioned romance tend to fall in to one of two categories: those who use our attraction as a sign of approval and seek out trophy feminists to clear their conscience of any inherent patriarchal wrong-doing, and outright predators who employ a bare-bones knowledge of feminist discourse to target any young woman whose politics so much as graze the notion of sex-positivity.

lol

[Notorious UGCC]

"Hey, baby, wanna come back to my place and look at my etchings...of Andrea Dworkin?"

[Lee G]

She's easy to please.

[SugarFree]

Who else is going to date her?

[Crusty Juggler]

Fuschia hair really brings the whole package together.

[SugarFree]

I think she's giving her victims a clear warning sign, like a rattler shaking his tail to say "stay away, stay away."

[Bobarian (Would Chip Her)]

You think the carpet matches the drapes?

And i'm betting that the carpet is a thick luxurious shag.

[Rich]

Catwoman?

[SugarFree]

Kate Iselin has a very specific set of skills.

[Citizen X]

Jesus. Something horrifying is going on with her gums.

[SugarFree]

They are slowly eating her teeth from the root.

[Almanian's Rusty Woodchipper]

Yeah - the teeth and gums are repellent

[straffinrun]

Sex repellent?

[Mrs. Lemuel Struthers]

She's British so..yeah.

[Just say Nikki]

Australian.

[Mrs. Lemuel Struthers]

Explained by that import ban on dental floss Downunder.

[Citizen X]

Do they not have Vitamin C in Oz?

[Elspeth Flashman]

Well, if she did something about the smile she might be better looking.

[MJGreen - Docile Citizen]

From the man who opened a text conversation with a photo of his naked chest and encouraged me to reciprocate in the name of the Free The Nipple movement

Niiice, bro. I'm stealing that.

[Bobarian (Would Chip Her)]

Yeah, that there was game.

[Lord Humungus]

Soda is making America obese: How the industry targets the poor ? and preys on their health

Still, the overall dietary picture isn't great, as the majority of Americans continue to get their calories from unhealthy sources, including processed foods, grain-based desserts and alcohol. Pizza, often washed down with soda, is the fifth-highest source of Americans' caloric intake.

Looking more closely at the statistics reveals striking socioeconomic forces at work. In her new book Soda Politics:Taking on Big Soda (and Winning), Marion Nestle, chair of New York University's Department of Nutrition, Food Studies and Public Health, points out that soda drinking is split across race and class lines, with African and Hispanic Americans drinking more soda than their white counterparts, adding that their soda drinking habits "are strongly influenced by television advertising, especially when commercials feature celebrities of their own race and ethnicity." She also notes that "this diversity ? in income, social status, and outlook ? complicates efforts to reduce soda intake in minority communities."

[Warty]

It's really easy to not eat fat fuck food, you know.

[Juvenile Bluster]

I first read that as "It's really easy not to fuck food", and I was confused, especially given who posted it.

[SugarFree]

Once you go souffle you never go back.

[Citizen X]

You should see him churn butter.

[Bobarian (Would Chip Her)]

Set a cantaloupe out in the sun, you amatuers.

[MJGreen - Docile Citizen]

But poor people are stressed out, you racist.

[Rich]

African and Hispanic Americans drinking more soda than their white counterparts, adding that their soda drinking habits "are strongly influenced by television advertising, especially when commercials feature celebrities of their own race and ethnicity."

Those unfortunate, simple-minded creatures.

[SugarFree]

Only liberals are willing to take up the white man's burden.

[BigT]

^^Insightful. I'll be stealing this.

[Heroic Mulatto]

Shit, that's nothing. You know why Lunchables are so popular in the hood, right?

[Warty]

What George Will Doesn't Understand About Bernie Sanders

None of the measures Sanders proposes to combat this issue (increased availability of education, modest tax increases on the wealthy and corporations, moving towards a single-payer healthcare system) constitute an absolute end to wealth inequality. What Will completely ignores is the fact that despite some inequality being inherent in our system, the current levels are morally disgraceful, spiritually profane, and ultimately unsustainable.

But Will is just one of the first in what will surely become a long line of fear mongering opportunists taking advantage of the ignorance of the American public and what amounts to a harmless confusion of ideological names. The straw version of Bernie Sanders that his attack relies on simply does not exist.

OK, fine, standard blustery Bernieball nonsense. That's all well and good and amusing, but I really love when the punchline is right up top.

Christian Chiakulas
Writer and musician from Chicago

[Lee G]

YOU LEAVE BERNIE ALONE

[SugarFree]

Hmm... employable...

[Warty]

Of course he's straightedge. Of course.

[Lee G]

Had to look that up.

Let's be punk without being punk!

[Zeb]

Oh, it's still punk if you are enough of an asshole about it.

[SugarFree]

It's the fuschia hair of dorkpunks.

[Rhywun]

LOL that's still a thing?

[Juvenile Bluster]

From the comments:

Calven McVetty

The chief architect of the US Constitution and main founder of the USA said, "the most common and durable source of factions has been the various and unequal distribution of property." (Madison, fed.paper 10.) In other words, he's calling for SOCIALISM. Go read up.

Whut. I think my brain is trying to escape from my head due to the utter ridiculousness of that comment.

[Warty]

Imagine my surprise that he's never read the paper. Not even the Wikipedia summary.

[Idle Hands]

yeah he is a special level of retard.

[Idle Hands]

From the same paper quoted:

There are two methods of curing the mischiefs of faction: the one, by removing its causes; the other, by controlling its effects.

There are again two methods of removing the causes of faction: the one, by destroying the liberty which is essential to its existence; the other, by giving to every citizen the same opinions, the same passions, and the same interests.

It could never be more truly said than of the first remedy, that it was worse than the disease. Liberty is to faction what air is to fire, an aliment without which it instantly expires. But it could not be less folly to abolish liberty, which is essential to political life, because it nourishes faction, than it would be to wish the annihilation of air, which is essential to animal life, because it imparts to fire its destructive agency.

[Zeb]

the current levels are morally disgraceful, spiritually profane, and ultimately unsustainable.

I'll just ignore the first two. But what does "unsustainable" mean here? If it's unsustainable, won't it go away on its own? Or is there a revolution of the proletariat coming? I think a lot of these people have that fantasy in their minds. Which I just don't see happening. Even poor people in the US have way too much to lose.

[Rufus J. Firefly]

Christian Chiakulas
Writer and musician from Chicago. Finger painter and smock enthusiast.

[MJGreen - Docile Citizen]

spiritually profane

SCIENCE!

But Will is just one of the first in what will surely become a long line of fear mongering opportunists taking advantage of the ignorance of the American public and what amounts to a harmless confusion of ideological names.

Nice. I give this writer the Projection Award of the Week.

[Bobarian (Would Chip Her)]

a long line of fear mongering opportunists taking advantage of the ignorance of the American public

That is american politics in a nutshell, right there.

[Fist of Etiquette]

Jim Webb may run for president as an independent.

The question is, whose votes will he steal?

[UnCivilServant]

The senile law and order crowd - "That guy from Dragnet is running?"

[Juvenile Bluster]

My wife's grandmother once brought home a random movie starring Matt Dillon because she thought it was the Marshall from Gunsmoke.

[Rich]

+1 "I carry a badger."

[Fist of Etiquette]

"I just don't like the guy." Former President George W. Bush is not a fan of Ted Cruz.

No one likes Canadians.

[Lord Humungus]

Vice: Why are Sex Toys for Men So Terrible?

The past few decades have seen a dramatic evolution in sex toys for women. Relaxed attitudes around sexuality, rechargeable batteries, and, more recently, crowdfunding and 3D printing have all come together to create a plethora of beautifully designed products that offer a wide range of pleasurable experiences to the clitorises of the world.

Sex toys for men, on the other hand, are still largely unchanged from the pocket pussies that have been available since the early days of marital aids. At a time when PornHub, adult Tumblrs, and sexting are an (almost) acceptable topic for polite conversation, it is strange to see male masturbation aids so stuck in the dark ages. Why, at one of the most exciting and innovative times for vibrators, are masturbation sleeves and their close cousins still so unbelievably crappy?

[Crusty Juggler]

masturbation sleeves and their close cousins still so unbelievably crappy?

What more do you want?

[Idle Hands]

yeah I'm pretty open minded but close(or first) cousins having sex is kind of gross.

[The Shrubber's Woodchipper]

Are socks a cousin to sleeves?

[Notorious UGCC]

"Mr. President, we cannot allow a sex-toy gap!"

[Elspeth Flashman]

+1 POE

[Old Man With Candy]

Masturbation sleeves? WTF?

[Crusty Juggler]

Lux Alptraum, the author, is not a fan of the fleshlight, which is strange because she is a woman.

[l0b0t]

The author of the article needs to get out more, do some more research. Fort Troff proves the article wrong - http://www.forttroff.com/ (NSFW... VERY NSFW).

[Warty]

The gays are years ahead of us in fucknology. They're like the Japs of sex.

[John]

So I have not posted on here in a while. That was by choice. Not for any dramatic reasons. I just got tired of several particularly dim witted posters, not the prog trolls but people who generally hold decent opinions, which oddly makes their general stupidity even more galling. Arguing with smart people makes you smarter and keeps you from lazy thinking. Arguing with stupid people just makes you stupid because you keep dumbing down your points in the vain hope they will understand them. So I just decided there are better things to do, which there are. That, however is a bit unfair. Most people on this site are not stupid. Regardless, I still should have better things to do.

Anyway, even I cannot deny the members of this board the epic pleasure that is the "Gaia's Indigo Children" Facebook page. If you can't get on Facebook, do a google image search and behold the epic trolling operation. It is a collection of the most hysterical but sadly believable prog memes ever created. It contains gems like

"Our pitbulls are vegan what is your excuse?" and
"Have you apologized for your whiteness today" or
"A home with a gun is a home without love"

It is just awesome. And every comment on every post is various outraged people taken in by the act. Treat yourself and behold.

[John]

And I really think from now on when I post here, I am going to use the handle "Gaia's Dancing Indigo children" or if that has been taken "Our Pitbulls are vegan". At some point the retard gets so overwhelming that there is no alternative but to embrace it.

[John]

And the proper name is "Gaia's Dancing Indigo Children". It is not associated with a website or any person I can find. And there isn't a single comment on it in support. It is all just angry people who have been trolled. So, I am pretty sure it is a trolling operation and an epically good one at that. Sadly, it is possible that it might be real but it seems unlikely.

[kinnath]

Awesome page. Thanks for that.

[John]

You are welcome. Did you see the one about the Halloween costumes? Or the one with the line of white people tied together by the neck with the caption "being white done right"? Whoever is doing that page is an Iowahawk level comic genius.

[PBR Streetgang]

Just checked it out. Yeah, that page is Tree-Men-Dous. Thanks!

[Zeb]

A brake from all this is not a terrible idea.

Glad to hear nothing bad happened to keep you away.

[John]

Thanks Zeb. Not just this place but the world in general. It is not like you can ever change anything. The world does what it is going to do.

[Old Man With Candy]

You haven't missed much. Jesse is still gay, I'm still a pedophile, and Warty is still brutally violent.

[John]

Nothing ever changes.

[Almanian's Rusty Woodchipper]

I was just thinking about you. Good to have you back, John!

/recommence trolling John....:)

[Juvenile Bluster]

So this means you're *not* tied up in Warty's basement? Or did you just now escape?

And given your description, I'm not sure it's trolling. Because I've seen the latter two things (though not the vegan pitbulls, that's funny)

[John]

Well, he has a work release program.

[commodious spittoon]

I assumed that meant working to secure his vile release.

[Florida Man]

My Pitts are getting T-bones tomorrow because a its one of their birthdays.

[John]

"Our Pitbulls are Vegan" is just so awesome. It is the perfect internet handle, fantasy league team name, bumper sticker, you name it.

[Florida Man]

I taught a lion to eat tofu once...once.

[Almanian's Rusty Woodchipper]

....and then a dentist shot him while on a safari.

THE END

[Lee G]

Welcome back.

And thank you for leading me to this

One method some practitioners advise is to ask Gaia (or Mother Earth) for her permission for your grounding cord to enter the core of her being. Then, visualize a clear cord or clear rope coming from your root chakra (tail bone area) and entering Gaia. It grows in length, and continues to grow until it has been fully anchored into the core of Gaia. This grounding cord releases negative energy and also brings in positive energy. Set your intention to send all the negative energy down this cord, physically exhale, releasing it into Gaia. After the negative energy has all been released, with intention, bring up the positive life-giving earth energy with a physical inhale. Close by thanking Gaia. Have your kids make a monkey chain cord. It's the intention that works!

[John]

As best I can tell "Indigo Children" is some New Age Term yuppie parents are giving their spastic and ill behaved off spring. Even the name of the Facebook page has layers of humor.

[Lee G]

It's awesome.

9. Clean Environments: do not keep artificial scents in your home. Use only the highest quality oils and unscented beeswax candles. Maintain a relaxed mood with dolphin, orca, or angelic relaxing music, played on low in the background when you're at home. Of course, avoid screaming chaotic music, as this is only going to disturb their energy. Also keep all electrical stuff out of their bedrooms to protect your children from the very dangerous electromagnetic waves these devices send out. This will help them sleep deeply and peacefully.

[John]

Don't tinfoil hats protect them from all of these negative waves?

[Zeb]

Well, yes. But it also shields them from the benevolent aliens who are trying to take them to the next level of evolution.

[Lee G]

Crystals, it's always crystals

[Rufus J. Firefly]

You came back with gold.

[Elspeth Flashman]

tinfoil hats should be knitted into their dreadlocks. Just so you know. And good to "see" you.

[Aloysious]

10. Healing: Reiki Energy Healing,

Primitives believing in magic. Wow.

[Griffin3]

I upgraded the service box at a house I'm remodeling, and drove a 10' grounding rod into the earth, without getting consent. I had to pound and pound it with a hammer to get it fully seated. Does this make me a Gaia rape-rapist?

[Inspector came out, said the new code is two ground rods (dp) spaced 10' apart. I can't even.]

[But Enough About Me]

I had to pound and pound it...

I'm listening. 8^

[Warty]

I figured you had inherited billions from some long-lost uncle and were busy building some kind of island paradise with, like, muscle cars, machine guns, and Page 3 models. So that's too bad.

[John]

Yeah, that is too bad. Don't worry, if I ever inherit that kind of money or steal it or whatever, I will be sure to drop by Pittsburgh and leave you a couple of spare Page 3 Girls.

[Monty Crisco]

Yah, welcome back. If it makes any difference, Bo aint been around in a while neither...

[John]

Now he will reappear and I will get blamed for creating him.

Let me be clear, I will only troll under the names "Gaia's Dancing Indigo Children" or "Our pitbulls are vegan". I am not Bo.

[Monty Crisco]

Bo....?

[sarcasmic]

And here I had hoped you'd ditched your government job and started doing something productive with your life. Oh well.

[Rich]

Glad to see you back, John!

[straffinrun]

Dim witted posters? Welcome back anyways, John.

[Lord Humungus]

Welcome back, John. I, for one, missed your presence.

One of the reasons I rarely get into hammer 'n' tong arguments is I end up taking them too personally. Couple that to my stressful job and I'm up at 3AM trying to come up with covert ways to (metaphorically) strangle some trolls - even though I tell myself this is just a backwater of the internet.

I came for the ideas... stayed for the snark 'n' good times.

[Mrs. Lemuel Struthers]

Indigo children nuts also believe people on the autism spectrum are the equivalent of X-Men - genetically superior mutations. Because my youngest is an aspie I've had chance encounters with this kind of retardation irl. I've gotten unsolicited and unbelievable parenting advice that was really insane drivel. These people are to be avoided much like herpes.

[Mrs. Lemuel Struthers]

Also, welcome back John.

[John]

I have an older sister who is developmentally disabled. Frankly, my sister and the other people at her sheltered work shop were smarter than many of the "professionals" and "advocates" who claimed to work on their behalf.

What my parents always found especially funny was how easily my sister and the other supposedly "disabled" people could outsmart and manipulate various professionals and such. And it wasn't that my parents harbored illusions about what it means to have mental disabilities. They were just amazed at how stupid many of the "professionals" in the field actually were.

[sarcasmic]

Show me a "professional" in that field, and I'll show you someone who studied the subject in order to find out what was wrong with themselves.

[The Shrubber's Woodchipper]

Gaia's Dancing Indigo Children
October 16 at 4:32pm ?
Breastfeeding your children is a wonderful opportunity to demonstrate healthy relationship choices. By sharing your breast nectar with your children AND their playmates, you can model the type of sharing that a healthy polyamorous relationship requires. Learning to share a partner unconditionally, and without jealousy, is a wonderful gift to give tomorrow's lovers.

Thank you for this, John.

[John]

You are welcome. It would take a dark heart to want to deny people that kind of derp. When I found that page, I have not laughed so hard in months.

[The Shrubber's Woodchipper]

Give up the 50 post arguments on principle, say your piece and move on. You're not going to change anyone's mind. And stick around for the derp. You'll be a happier person.

[commodious spittoon]

The depressing thing is how many people aren't in on the joke.

[John]

Yeah, That page is trolling hundreds of people. And it is not their fault really. The world is so stupid that it is impossible to tell what is satire anymore.

[commodious spittoon]

Picture of a man with a pretty gnarly black eye and: "RESPECTY WOMYN! Obedient men don't need to be asked to do what is expected of them."

And capping off every post with "Namaste."

Genius.

[commodious spittoon]

"Vaccines + Children = Autism"

The picture shows a child at a chalkboard circling "2+2=5".

Hah!

[Aloysious]

Holy crap.

"Respect womyn. Obedient men don't need to be asked to do what is expected of them"

What a page.

[SusanM]

I was so sure that John was Irwin Schiff's internet handle, too.

[John]

I am not really that anti income tax. And my God is our justice system evil. I am not a big fan of Shiff's, but the guy was dying of cancer and never was a threat to anyone and those vindictive fuckers let him die alone in prison. The BOP has let mob bosses out of prison to die in peace. God they are evil.

[SusanM]

Yeah, that was pretty low. And a bit of a cheap shot for me, too. It's kind of sad that most libertarians (and the libertarianish) are stuck with being identified with batshit lunatics.

[John]

The irony is that the income tax, whatever you think of it, was one of the few things the government ever did the proper way. They amended the Constitution. What a concept. Today they would just bully one of the Supreme Court justices to decide the income tax was really just a import duty and call it a day.

I understand why people object to the income tax but I could never understand how anyone could claim it was illegal. They passed a constitutional amendment saying it was legal. What the hell else do you want?

[lap83]

Welcome back John, great find with the FB page. You can tell it's awesome just by the name

[Clich? Bandit]

So, many here had taken up the mantle of Johnisms...there have been some doozies. As I stated yesterday John LOOMS!

[CatoTheChipper]

I never heard of an "indigo child", which gets half a million results on Google. Geezers ridicule special snowflake parenting and "everybody gets a trophy", but don't know the half of how bat-shit crazy these parents are. Makes the absurd parenting of Robin Arryn in Game of Thrones look almost normal by comparison.

[Lee G]

I linked to this yesterday, but it's too good to not link again.

http://www.theclimatemobilization.org/

http://moralmobilization.org/

The Transformative Power of Climate Truth Manifesto

We are living in a state of planetary emergency and must mobilize our society on the scale of World War II in order to rapidly bring greenhouse gas emissions to net zero to have a chance of averting the collapse of civilization and the destruction of the natural world. The fact that we have warmed the world to this extent, and show little sign of stopping, is evidence of widespread institutional failure. We cannot expect anyone else to save us. We must do it ourselves.

This truth, while deeply unwelcome, has the potential to be the most powerful, transformative truth of all. Climate truth has the potential to be more powerful than any country's independence; more powerful than overthrowing authoritarian states; and more powerful than civil rights or any group's struggle for safety, recognition and equality. Climate truth contains such superordinate power because all of those causes depend on a safe climate.

[Lee G]

Martin Luther King famously said, "The arc of history is long, but it bends towards justice." If we do not stop climate change, we will never be able to build a just, free, healthy, loving society. The arc of history will be abruptly cut off. It will be "game over"? the experiment of humanity organizing into civilizations will have failed. This will mean the death of billions of people and constant hell and high water for the rest. It will be a miserable, deplorable fate. If we accept climate truth, we can channel the enormous power of our values, passions, empathy and hopes for humanity toward our fight for a safe climate.

[Rich]

If we do not stop climate change, we will never be able to build a just, free, healthy, loving society.

Oh, well.

[Lee G]

The movement comes complete with salvation:

"After retiring from the fire department and being lost for awhile, I am so grateful to have found another purpose in life. I didn't think it was possible for me to find anything that I could feel as passionate about as I did about being a firefighter.... Our Pledge calls on the Federal Government to respond to the crisis we are facing in a way very similar to the response to World War II. Experts agree that only this type of response will save civilization from collapse and we believe that the Pledge to Mobilize strategy can fundamentally alter what is politically feasible!"

Transformations like Kat's are vitally important because only people who allow themselves to be transformed by climate truth can provide the fuel for a heroic, dedicated, and successful social movement.

[BigT]

"Our Pledge calls on the Federal Government to respond to the crisis we are facing in a way very similar to the response to World War II."

So, lock up the Japs?

[John]

It is nothing but a doomsday cult and a particularly dimwitted one at that.

I love the "constant hell of high water" part. I am going to go out on a limb here and say that even if every bit of ice on planet earth melted, people living in Denver would hardly notice.

[Zeb]

That's the thing. If something like that did happen (which is very unlikely anytime in our lifetimes and almost certain in the long run), it would take a lot of adjustment and be unpleasant for a lot of people if it happened quickly. But people would move and adapt and get on with things. It's certainly not desirable, but it doesn't mean that all hope is lost.
These people really lack imagination and have a really dim view of humanity. As much as I hate a lot of stuff that people do, and as little hope as I have that people's political organization is going to move in a direction I like, people are still fucking awesome.

[John]

And there are hundreds of much worse things that could happen anyway. A warmer climate would not be a tenth as disruptive as a real increase in volcanic activity or a asteroid strike or a massive solar storm or any number of catastrophic natural disasters that though rare, have happened and will happen again.

These clowns think the end of the arctic ice pack would be bad, let the big one up under Yellowstone go off and then see what they think is "bad".

[Zeb]

No perspective and no imagination.

[Zeb]

Yeah, the climate has always been safe and static up until now. And what could possibly go wrong with a mobilization (to do what exactly?) on the scale of WWII?

[straffinrun]

I believe Bernie said something like, "climate change will destroy the world for our children and our children's children." Thinkin he only had to say "our children".

[straffinrun]

Sorry, I messed that up. Bernie at the debate.

"The planet that we will be leaving our kids and our grandkids will be uninhabitable".

It would be a nifty trick to leave it inhabitable for our grandkids and not our kids.

[Zeb]

"Uninhabitable". If life on Earth were such a delicate balance as a lot of people make it out to be, it would have died off a few billion years ago.

Human beings, a species that evolved in the tropics and has survived and ice age and figured out how to live everywhere on the planet that is even remotely possible to live in are not going to go extinct because it gets a little warmer.

[John]

Global warming is so bad it is going to kill our children and our children's' children in the alternative universe where it didn't kill our children.

AGW is humanity's first trans dimensional catastrophe.

[Krombopulos Carl]

OMG STAR WARS!!!

[sarcasmic]

No.

[Krombopulos Carl]

Yes.

[sarcasmic]

Not clicking that.

[MJGreen - Docile Citizen]

....I'm going to guess that's RedLetterMedia.

[Lord Humungus]

'Clockboy' Ahmed Mohamed Makes Awkward Comments Right Before Meeting Obama
'Pretty sure I would've been awarded the smartest kid in class if I was a caucasian male.'

In an interview with Yahoo News Live, Mohamed became visibly upset when the host, Bianna Golodryga, pressed him on whether there were racial motivations behind his September 14 arrest.

BG: "Do you think if you were a caucasian, non-Muslim you would've received the same treatment? Because law enforcement seems to say 'yes'. Do you agree with them?"

AM:"I don't know."

BG: "You don't know?"

AM:"I don't agree with them because I'm pretty sure if I was a caucasian male I wouldn't have got arrested, because it's not right, because you know? Pretty sure I would've been awarded the smartest kid in class if I was a caucasian male."

[Just say Nikki]

So, do people of color think racism is more real than I do because someone told them there was a Smartest Kid in the Class Award? There's no Smartest Kid in the Class Award, people. Other than having no friends.

[Lee G]

Just for you Nikki

[Zeb]

Heh. My dad always used to hassle the cashiers at stores over that. Mostly blank stares in response.

[sarcasmic]

I use my debit card most of the time, and a lot of the machines ask for your PIN Number instead of your PIN. So I'll ask the cashier what a Persona Identification Number Number is. They usually laugh after I explain it.

[MJGreen - Docile Citizen]

Why not just get cash from the ATM machine?

[Zeb]

They tend not to get the joke.

[lap83]

was that Weird Al?

[MJGreen - Docile Citizen]

Yep.

[Auric Demonocles]

Well, I'm sure if he was a white boy who got undeserving shit from cops he wouldn't be meeting Obama.

[lap83]

how do they determine the smartest kid if there is more than one caucasian male?

[Just say Nikki]

Which one has the fewest friends?

[lap83]

So true. Also front row, by choice

[Just say Nikki]

Man, I loved the front row.

[Zeb]

I was the smart kid who sat in the back row and annoyed the teacher.

[Mrs. Lemuel Struthers]

Glasses. They guy who wears glass is the de facto winner.

[Mrs. Lemuel Struthers]

After glasses comes lack of athletic ability.

[Bobarian (Would Chip Her)]

Definitely the guy,...because chicks, right?

[Rhywun]

Last week, he met with Sudanese President Omar al-Bashir, who is also accused of genocide and regarded as a war criminal.

Wut?

[Lord Humungus]

It's Now the Republicans vs. the Socialists in 2016.

The Thursday night debate conclusion: America now has an openly socialist party.

This morning, a new poll confirms it: Socialism remains less popular than capitalism in the United States: only 25% of adults have a favorable opinion of it, while 48% view capitalism positively. Among Democrats, however, the balance is flipped, with 49% favorable to socialism compared to 37% for capitalism.

[John]

IT is true they are openly socialist. That is not what is seems however since most of them don't know what the word means.

[CatoTheChipper]

It means moar free shit, and they like it.

[Kristen Bids No Trump]

Buenos dias. I was in NM over Columbus Day weekend.

New Mexico fucking rocks. I love it there. And the VLA is the most nerdtastic place on earth. I bought one of everything in the gift shop.

[Auric Demonocles]

Albuquerque is the only place in New Mexico I have been. It was really disconcerting how it switched so instantly from flat to a mountain range standing 4000 feet above the town (unfronatly I did not get a chance to hike up the Sandia Crest). But the thunderstorm which hit just before dark and the nuclear museum were both pretty cool.

[Kristen Bids No Trump]

We tried to go to the Balloon Fiesta, but traffic was backed up on the interstate for about 3 miles trying to get in there. No. Fucking. Way.

My friend lives in Santa Fe (home of the $15 diner cheeseburger - seriously). We went up to the ski area to see the aspens, and walked down into Frijoles Canyon (Bandelier National Monument). I stepped on a baby ratt'ler, and almost stepped on a tarantula.

But the VLA was the highlight. So fucking awesome.

[commodious spittoon]

The La Luz trail is a decent hike if you've a few hours and several hundred calories to burn, but the tram is where it's at if you just want to take in the view and several drinks on top of a mountain.

[Auric Demonocles]

The tram broke down when I drove out to check it out, and I didn't have time to try again.

[Auric Demonocles]

Oh, and this was about 3 weeks before I starting hiking the John Muir, so the only problem with hiking up was the time required.

[commodious spittoon]

That looks pretty serious. How long did it take?

[Auric Demonocles]

I was planning on 14 days (about 18 miles a day after adding in a day trip to Half Dome). I stopped on the 10th day due the Rough Fire. It made the visibility in King's Canyon basically nonexistent. I stayed on my pace the whole time, and only encountered one person going the same speed as me (and no one passed me going faster). The average seemed to be a lot more like 11-12 miles a day, so that would be more like 3 weeks (and I met several people who were taking 4).

[Kristen Bids No Trump]

We took a lift up at the Santa Fe Ski Basin to see the aspens. They were stopping the lift for every chair, and they were only loading every other chair. So when we got near the top and it was super windy, I opted to walk down. I have never gone down a ski lift before, and I wasn't about to sit on that thing while it stopped every 5 seconds, chair bouncing and swaying over the abyss.*

*(going up a ski lift in windy conditions, during ski season, is not the same thing)

[commodious spittoon]

Glad you enjoyed it. If there were more of us here we could have arranged a meetup, but I'm pretty sure a few unaffiliated university students and the staff of the Rio Grande Foundation rounds out the entirety of New Mexico's libertarian population.

And VLA is the nerdiest-named installation. Unimpeachably accurate and totally nondescript at the same time.

[Kristen Bids No Trump]

I did see a couple Gary Johnson bumper stickers around and about, though!

[John]

New Mexico is great. It is beautiful and outside of Santa Fe less obnoxious than Colorado.

[Clich? Bandit]

HEY DICKHEAD!

Don't blame us for Boulder, that's California's fault.

[John]

And Aspen and Telluride and Denver and a whole lot of other places.

[Clich? Bandit]

Nobody has to go to Telluride. It is fuck all remote. Denver in like any other large metropolis but without all the crime (excluding the DPD, they suck). Aspen is a parody, everyone laughs at it and it is also fuck all remote. The Springs is a Conservative religious nut bastion, that offsets some of the Boulder hipster trust fund proggies. I live in the burbs man...where it is libertarian all the time(not really). We are free and shit. And weed, don't forget weed.

On a serious note, we are the ONLY FUCKING STATE WITH TABOR. Take that Texas.

[John]

I like Colorado and have a ton of relatives who live there. That said, saying "except Boulder" is like saying "Germany has a great history except for that whole Hitler thing".

[Glide]

The worst part of that CNN poll is that until it was released, Lindsey Graham was on his way to being cut off the debate stage entirely. Now he's back in the minor leagues.

I don't have many joys in politics, at least allow me the schadenfreude of watching everyone hate Lindsey Graham.

[Auric Demonocles]

Not sure how I ended up reading an article on this site, but here's a guy getting hassled by police for being an adult male in a park. The kicker: the woman who reported him as "creepy" has pictures of him on her phone that she secretly took.

Taking pictures at a park is not criminal! It's not like he was leaving out the alt-text.

[Kristen Bids No Trump]

We have the undoubted hipster soccer mom (Eastern Market) who called the cops on a coupla black teens in DC because they were holding the door for someone, and not going in the bank.

Fucking hipsters. Fucking soccer moms.

[Just say Nikki]

This seems like a good place for me to mention that I have a plan for Commonsense Mom Control. Join me and I will save you from crazy white ladies in parks!

[Kristen Bids No Trump]

I wish to subscribe to your newsletter!

[Auric Demonocles]

You know, I could probably distract a mom from going to the park for a few hours a couple of times a week. I can only handle a certain kind of crazy though. Is there some kind of volunteer position available for this?

[Just say Nikki]

We do not allow our volunteers to reward moms. In any way.

So, I guess maybe if you're terrible in bed? But, like, really terrible.

[Auric Demonocles]

We can't even reward them for not being the parks?

Well, I could be terrible then. Not sure if will work more than once per mom though. Also they'll have to be super hot to maximize the terribleness.

[Just say Nikki]

You can only reward them for not being moms.

[Crusty Juggler]

Done.

[Warty]

SEE SOMETHING SAY SOMETHING

[Auric Demonocles]

Well, obviously if I saw you I would say something.

[Whahappan?]

AAAAAAIIIIII!!!!!!!!NONONONOONONONO!!!!!!!!!

[Crusty Juggler]

In the park I frequently jog in I saw a very heavy couple rutting. I saw it, and I wanted to say something.

[Mrs. Lemuel Struthers]

"STOP! Oh, God, my eyes!"

??

[Crusty Juggler]

I laughed, ran past and laughed again, and then I wanted to call the police just to see if they could be arrested for their brazen attitude.

[lap83]

did you take pics on your phone for 'posterity'

[Citizen X]

You didn't sit down and watch? Maybe get some popcorn?

[Zeb]

I can never understand why people are so freaked out by people taking pictures of kids. I suppose it's more bizarre paranoia about child molesters.

[Crusty Juggler]

It is more like they think they are taking pictures of kids, or looking at kids, or thinking about stealing a kid and bringing it back to their sex lair/trafficking destination.

[sarcasmic]

Someone taking pictures anywhere is considered to be suspicious activity. Because that's what terrorists do before they attack. They take pictures first, then make a plan. So anyone taking pictures is a potential terrorist until the prove otherwise. I'm not joking either. I have to take this stupid anti-terrorism training every year for my job, and that's what it says: If you see someone taking pictures, call the cops.

[Zeb]

Sometimes it seems like these policies are entirely based on things people see in movies.

[sarcasmic]

They're based on the premise of guilty until proven innocent.

[Crusty Juggler]

Sometimes it seems like these policies are entirely based on things people see in movies Law & Order: Special Victims Unit.

[Mrs. Lemuel Struthers]

'Torn from the headlines' is a policy position.

[Rhywun]

"Please to tell me where are the nuclear wessels?"

[sarcasmic]

"Please to tell me where are the nuclear wessels?"

The "terrorist" in the training video talks like that with an obviously fake accent. It's almost comical.

[Auric Demonocles]

You know what else terrorists do? They eat at least once a day. So the next time you see someone eating, make sure to consider: "Are they just fueling up for a terrorist attack?"

[Just say Nikki]

They never seem to ask themselves if their kids consent to having their photos taken by them, do they?

[SugarFree]

You are always free to photograph your property.

[John]

That comes with being in public.

[Auric Demonocles]

I think you missed her joke?

[John]

Apparently so.

[Just say Nikki]

If they felt that way they'd be fine with "creepy" guys taking their kids' pictures too.

[commodious spittoon]

Use a polaroid and offer to sell the photos back to the parents.What could go wrong?

[Old Man With Candy]

They consent when I take their pictures. But I make sure they know that I will kill the puppy in a brutal manner if the answer is anything but yes.

[Derpetologist]

I'll drop a few links here:

The time Mickey Mouse tried to commit suicide

The man who got drunk off the alcohol made by his intestinal bacteria

[Heroic Mulatto]

Mickey Mouse also once got gonorrhea.

[FreeRadical*]

I just saw a video of Trump on CNN and I, I... ummm, I liked what I heard.

He talked about foreign policy and it was very Paulish, non-interventionist. He said going into Iraq was a terrible decision. He said the US going in there destabilized the whole region, added to the power of Iran, and created ISIS. He actually said our meddling created ISIS. If a Paul were to say that, they would be crucified. I've previously heard him say some other things on foreign policy that I liked.

Of course, that has to be weighed against his degenerate immigration stances and other problems.

[Zeb]

Not many people are wrong about everything.

[FreeRadical*]

Right, but this seems like a big one to me. It's an article of faith in Republican circles to be for every war, all the time. For the "front-runner" to come out so strongly on this seems amazing to me.

[Zeb]

Which may be further support for my theory that people are supporting Trump just to fuck with people. Or that attitude matters more than message.

[Bern-o-Matic 5000]

Wait, Canada elected the who writes Doonesbury?

[CraterMaker]

Nice to see ya back, John..

[John]

Thank you

[CraterMaker]

Nice to see ya back, John..

[Atanarjuat]

Ok, that's a bit much.