Apple Debuts Newest Gadgets, House Holds Planned Parenthood Hearing, Trump Will Bore You With So Much Winning: P.M. Links

Apple

• "Is the obsession with Apple events pack journalism, real news, or something else altogether?" asks Adrienne LaFrance at The Atlantic. As you may have heard, the company announced the release of its latest gadgets today, including a new iPad—with a stylus!—and a revamped Apple TV system.   
• Russian troops are joining in military operations in Syria in support of government troops there, according to Reuters. 
• A House committee hearing today on federal laws concerning fetal tissue research predictably turned into a series of emotional speeches and partisan clashes about abortion more generally, with presiding Rep. Bob Goodlatte (R-Va.) describing abortions in graphic detail and wondering why Yale doesn't have a center for studying abortion survivors. 
• Tea Party Republicans turn on John Boehner. (Just realized that sentence could be read two ways, but probably still accurate.)
• McDonald's restaurants in the U.S. and Canada will start serving cage-free eggs, the company announced Wednesday. 
• Barbie mocks hipsters. 
• "We will have so much winning if I get elected that you may get bored with winning," Donald Trump told Iran-deal protesters outside the U.S. Capitol this morning.

New at Reason: 

• Can a Nice Muslim Girl from Maryland Really Identify as Jewish? Amna Farooqi, Muslim head of Israel-advocacy group J Street, says she is "culturally Jewish." —Charles Paul Freund
• Don't Get Rid of the Cadillac Tax! In defense of an Obamacare tax. —A. Barton Hinkle
• 5 Takeaways from the Arrest of Kim Davis Over Gay Marriage Licenses: Grand-standing politicians, martyrs, and Huckabee in jail? —Paul Detrick 

Follow us on Facebook and Twitter, and don't forget to sign up for Reason's daily updates for more content.

Comments

[Fist of Etiquette]

Barbie mocks hipsters.

At least they have genitalia. I suppose.

[Rufus J. Firefly]

Hello.

"McDonald's restaurants in the U.S. and Canada will start serving cage-free eggs, the company announced Wednesday."

Why those sons'a bitches...wait. Is this a good or bad thing?

[Mickey Rat]

Do they taste better? If not, it is just pandering and therefore bad.

[Tonio]

Predictably the "animals are the moral equivalent of lumps of clay" brigades come out in full voice.

[Marshall Gill]

Which are not to be confused with the "human beings in their early stages of life are the moral equivalent of lumps of clay" brigades.

[kbolino]

I don't think you know what "brigades" are.

[Brett L]

What's the point if you don't use it?

[R C Dean]

It tells you what to identify as?

[Bobarian (Would Chip Her)]

Only after you have it surgically modified.

[Mrs. Lemuel Struthers]

use it

You're micoaggressing Hermaphrodite Barbie with this comment.

S/he would use the plural: "What's the point of you don't use them?

[SimonJester]

Are you sure? Have you met any real hipsters? Because I have, and I'm not sure...

[Fist of Etiquette]

"We will have so much winning if I get elected that you may get bored with winning," Donald Trump told Iran-deal protesters outside the U.S. Capitol this morning.

I guess we know who his running mate will be.

[Ayn Random Variation]

Vince Lombardi?

[DEATFBIRSECIA]

Dunphy. Exactly.

[Tonio]

[polite applause]

[jdgalt]

Scotty Nguyen?

[Suellington]

Charlie Sheen

[Pope Jimbo]

At this point I keep waiting for Trump to pull a latex mask off his face and reveal that he has been Andy Kaufmann all along. It has really been just a giant hoax.

Seriously, I have been pretty rigorously ignoring all Trump articles, but even just scanning headlines it has become clear he is just fucking with the nation now.

It is like some twisted LD50 test. "Just what the fuck do I have to say to cause me drop in the polls?"

[Tonio]

All LD50 tests are twisted.

[Pi Guy]

It's the dosage that makes the toxin.

[Pope Jimbo]

Hmmmm, the LD50 test for KY jelly used for masturbation was more jerked than twisted.

[WoodchipperPatriarch]

Not Charlie Strong?

[Ayn Random Variation]

Ouch.
My friend texted me that Strong was coaching Texas, and so the only decision was how much to much to put on ND.

[BiMonSciFiCon]

Barbie mocks hipsters.

I thought math was hard way before you did.

[Juvenile Bluster]

Apple is selling an iPencil for $99. This is the fulfillment of some sort of prophecy, right?

[Rufus J. Firefly]

Does it turn into a vibrator?

[Trouser-Pod (The blowhard)]

+1 More than meets the eye!

[egould310]

Do not put that thing in your eye, for gods sake!

[Rufus J. Firefly]

'Mommy? Where's my PENCIL?!'

'Mommy? Why do I keep my PENCIL in your bed room?'

[Pope Jimbo]

-1 filling shaken out

[Brett L]

Does useing something for off label sexual gratification turn that thing into a sex toy?

[Pl?ya Manhattan.]

"Off label"?

You mean like a catheter?

[Brett L]

I was thinking cucumbers.

[Bobarian (Would Chip Her)]

Your cucumber has a label?

[RBS]

It's Non-GMO, Organic and compassionately farmed.

[Trouser-Pod (The blowhard)]

compassionately farmed.

Isn't that a better description?

[Jimbo]

You mean Orgasmic?

[Jimbo]

Reply to RBS

[mad.casual]

Does useing something for off label sexual gratification turn that thing into a sex toy?

Does using an Apple product strictly for personal gratification make it anything other than a regular Apple product?

[Pope Jimbo]

Fuck Rufus, don't even give Apple the idea that someone might use their shit for pr0n. If they think it might be used as a vibrator they will self-censor themselves and pull the pencil from the market.

They are always getting the vapors when anyone tries to put something in their app store that might be slightly racy.

[Tejicano]

"... they will self-censor themselves and pull the pencil from the market."

...and the down side to this would be what?

[Brett L]

Steve Jobs is probably waiting at gates of Hell to torment Tim Cook.

[Fist of Etiquette]

Tea Party Republicans turn on John Boehner.

Hello, Tea Party. You're quite good at... turning me on...

[Juvenile Bluster]

You probably should ignore that.

[BiMonSciFiCon]

Goddammit I did it again.

[BiMonSciFiCon]

I swear this isn't intentional.

[Crusty Juggler]

Fist has a little brother?

[Fist of Etiquette]

I know what you're thinking before you think it. And also I correct it when you're thinking up a misquote.

[BiMonSciFiCon]

Thank you. That is what I'm most embarrassed about. I sentence myself to three hours of classic Simpsons as penance.

[Bobarian (Would Chip Her)]

Tea Party Republicans turn on John Boehner.

"I went into the Speaker's chambers. He was waiting for me there...with his pants off. It... It...

It was orange and throbbing, and sort of mesmerizing... in a completely horrifying sense."

Not since since Speaker Pelosi invited an intern in to 'dust', has such horror been present on Capitol Hill.

[WoodchipperPatriarch]

This is...NutraSweet-esque. Or Lovecraftian.

[jdgalt]

Do they give you a Boehner?

[Juvenile Bluster]

McDonald's restaurants in the U.S. and Canada will start serving cage-free eggs, the company announced Wednesday.

Is it going to make my Egg McMuffin more expensive?

That said, cage-free eggs are one of my two hippie-ish supermarket purchases. Other is organic milk.

[Rufus J. Firefly]

What's next? A 'Stop Staples' and 'Stop Starshmucks' t-shirt for you?

[Pl?ya Manhattan.]

It's not real. You aren't getting what you think you are unless you go to a small farm.

[mad.casual]

Staked to the ground by the neck is cage-free, right?

[Tonio]

Harm reduction, Pl?ya. Also, McD's as a large institutional food purchaser drives change.

[Pl?ya Manhattan.]

I don't believe that there will be any harm reduction. The term is meaningless, and most of their consumers won't realize that.

[RBS]

I prefer the sweatshop eggs.

[SimonJester]

I buy the milk and eggs that taste best. I am irritated that both of them are "organic."

[Free Society]

What's your problem with silicate based milk?

[gaoxiaen]

I think eggs would prefer the cage to the frying pan.

[Pan Zagloba]

Yay, more stupid Trump shit. So I think it's time to bring out the heavy guns here on Accomplished Female Athletes of Eastern and Central Europe.
Alina Kabaeva is a Russian gymnast, winner of 41 Olympic, World and European golds, 10 Silvers and 7 Bronzes. She was granted the title Honored Master of Sport for her accomplishments, and has since retired and was a member of Russian parliament for Putin's United Russia Party 2007-2014, as a very non-Libertarian representative.
Only one picture set because this compilation video will show what an amazing performer she was. It will also explain the rumor that President Putin divorced his wife in order to date her. If true, he will have out-Trumped Trump again. If not, then why bother being President of Russia in the first place?!

[Crusty Juggler]

Pan does not like Winning.

[Pan Zagloba]

Winning belongs to Charlie Sheen, and Trump either needs to step off or offer him VP slot.

[Pl?ya Manhattan.]

Are those pictures old, or is early '90s fashion just arriving in Russia?

[Brett L]

Yes

[Pan Zagloba]

Pics from Vogue are 2011, the date on the rest is anyone's guess. That's the problem with going with one big image dump, but I thought the video was well worth spending one of my two links on.
Yes, I heard tales of three links, but have not been able to confirm them.

[SimonJester]

Trump will be President Rathcock from Machete Kills. It will be wonderful.

[Antilles]

"McDonald's restaurants in the U.S. and Canada will start serving cage-free eggs"

Why would anyone need to cage eggs? It's not like they can run away...or can they?

[Pl?ya Manhattan.]

Roll away.
*pulls out chalkboard*

[Rufus J. Firefly]

I hear you're making a Tom Brady voo-doo doll. Is this for true?

[Pl?ya Manhattan.]

First I've heard of it.

[Mazakon]

Well there was that one guy who sat on a wall.

[Antilles]

Sorta OT, but there's something I've always wondered. If you squeeze a chicken really hard can you break the eggs inside her? And if you did, would that be a problem for her?

[Pl?ya Manhattan.]

No, but the squeezing probably would be a problem.

And now you're on my watch list.

[Antilles]

Live chickens are scarce in the OC, unless you count the late-night cock fights in Santa Ana. Maybe I'll go to one and try squeezing one of their chickens. What's the worst that could happen?

[SimonJester]

Please bring someone to film this. It is YouTube gold.

[Mrs. Lemuel Struthers]

Going to a cock fight to get an egg. I see a problem there.

/farmgirl

[Antilles]

Was hoping someone would notice that 😉

[Pl?ya Manhattan.]

Farmgirl? Pics?

[Pope Jimbo]

Wait, they have chickens at the cock fights where you live? That is just weird.

[Antilles]

I think they're called groupies...

[Bobarian (Would Chip Her)]

If you think that's bad, you should see what happens when you fu..

ahh, I mean, ummm...

Hey look everybody! There's a Trump link!

[Pl?ya Manhattan.]

Hey, I saw you in that Vice video!

[Pope Jimbo]

Fuck squeezing/kicking them. What you need is a chicken vacuum!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zqnp-cvKeqc

We raised chickens as a kid and I still hate them to this day. They symbolize countless hours of lost summer vacation.

[jesse.in.mb]

Maybe he secretly desires to have eggs laid in him with an ovipositor Splorch?

[Pope Jimbo]

For FSM's sake! May his noodly appendage touch you indeed...

[Trump-o-Trump 5trumpthousand]

Baskets are a more suitable device for carrying eggs than cages.

[Fist of Etiquette]

Russian troops are joining in military operations in Syria in support of government troops there...

Reliving the glory days of proxy wars?

[Pan Zagloba]

I don't think it's a proxy war when you use your own troops. Unless Russians are proxy for...wait for it...ISRAEL!
Because clearly Jews control Duma something something Illuminati confirmed.

[Trump's Grenzmauer]

I can guarantee you that people actually believe exactly this.

[BiMonSciFiCon]

Tea Party Republicans turn on John Boehner. (Just realized that sentence could be read two ways, but probably still accurate.)

"Hello Smithers, you're really good at turning me on."

[Paul.]

Can a Nice Muslim Girl from Maryland Really Identify as Jewish? Amna Farooqi, Muslim head of Israel-advocacy group J Street, says she is "culturally Jewish." ?Charles Paul Freund

Oh good fucking Lord, here we go...

[Zeb]

Why not? How different are the religions really?

[Pl?ya Manhattan.]

Paul. can barely contain his full throated anti-semitism.

[Paul.]

I dunno, different enough to want to kill the fuck out of each other?

[Paul.]

By the way, this was purely an answer to your question, and has nothing to do with this particular woman.

[Zeb]

Or are they the same enough to want to kill the fuck out of each other? After all, the different flavors of Islam also want to kill the fuck out of each other over some pretty minor bullshit.

I say they are the same to some degree to be deliberately provocative. But what is the essential difference really? They have basically the same god, much of the same mythology, similar dietary restrictions, etc. The main difference is that Islam is for the whole world (according to them) and Judaism is just for the one tribe, or whatever it is.

[SimonJester]

They are ... really very different. Both at their core, and how they have come to be understood. Also, this is as much about the different cultures as it is the religions.

However, I realize that you may be like most on these boards and assume "ALL relgions are bad and stoopid and useless and murdery and to be mocked because evuls!" If that is the case, then please feel free to ignore my comment because you have likely already made up your mind.

[Zeb]

Don't take my initial comment too seriously.

I am not a believer, but I try not to be completely dismissive of religion. It's something I enjoy talking about with open minded believers who don't get all defensive when you question things. Obviously they are not all the same and each has it's own good and bad points (some more one way than the other IMO).

I say they are similar religions because they have a lot of the same roots and myths and the same basic god and lots of similar tenets. The mythical tradition of Judaism at least (I'm thinking OT here) is not a whole lot less violent, closed minded and genocidal than historical Islam. The main difference seems to be that one wants to take over the world and the other doesn't. Which I grant is a big difference. And as you say there are huge cultural differences.

[Tonio]

LOL.

Worship the same god? Check. Shared prophets (Abraham, Moses)? Check? Barbaric mutilation of their childrens' genitals? Check.

But, yeah, other than that, they are completely fucking different.

Did I mention the lulz, already?

[*GILMORE*]

Why not include Christianity and all its subsidiaries?

They meet all the same criteria. It didn't stop them from being at one another's throats over 'minor' differences.

[Zeb]

Because it's in response to something about Muslims and Jews.

[jdgalt]

Well, if she had switched the other way, it's unlikely any of her Jewish relatives would have considered committing an "honor" killing. This way, though, I predict one.

[Antilles]

I can relate. My British half looks down on my lowly Irish side while my Irish side sneers at my snobby British half. That explains how I can be arrogant while also having low self-esteem.

[SimonJester]

I just figured that a someone with your ancestry would just get drunk and try to headbutt himself, but with his pinky out.

[Antilles]

Definitely will have to give that a try this evening. If nothing else, it's a good reason to get drunk.

[Not a Libertarian]

Well that is what the two islands share, a love of drink.

[CatoTheChipper]

One drop rule: you're a pome bastard, even if you're part drunk, bog-trotting F.B.I. (I'm in the latter category.)

[Antilles]

I'm actually about 50/50, so I love to drink plus I enjoy dry, British humour.

[Notorious UGCC]

At least Irish food is edible...when it isn't all rotted by fungus.

[Antilles]

Can't beat the delicious simplicity of Fish and Chips. And I actually like mushy peas and Yorkshire Pudding.

[R C Dean]

That's a tough one. Ordinarily, if you haven't had the surgery, I don't take you seriously when you claim to "identify as" X. So, circumcision, right?

But, if she gets circumcised, that's even more of a problem, since female circumcision is more of a Muslim thing.

I'm confused. . . .

[Heroic Mulatto]

Farooqi sitting down to enjoy a plate of gefilte fish and chrain is the true test.

[Dan Bongard]

Describing J Street as an "Israeli advocacy group" is like describing Occupy Wall Street as a libertarian movement.

[Tonio]

^This.

[Trump-o-Trump 5trumpthousand]

I'm so very confused.

Is she trying to convert to Judaism? If so, I would think she is no longer a "Muslim girl." If not, then what the fuck is she talking about?

[Heroic Mulatto]

I can't remember the term now, but in Biblical Hebrew, there was a word for people who were not Israelites but followed their cultural mores while they traveled along with them as they nomad-ed around the Levant...kind of an in-between status between Hebrew and Gentile.

I'll look it up when I get home.

[Pl?ya Manhattan.]

Those were the people in Ethiopia, no? The Beta?

[Heroic Mulatto]

Those were the people in Ethiopia, no?

As far as I know, the Ethiopian Jews always considered themselves to be Hebrews. The thing I'm talking about is a person who doesn't believe in the Jewish religion, but follows certain Jewish cultural laws...I guess like keeping kosher and stuff. So they aren't a Jew, but they are not fully Gentile either.

[Tonio]

Regarding religious leadership, 60 Kessim (priests) of the Ethiopian immigrants in Israel are employed by the Ministry of Religious Services, and many of them conduct religious ceremonies in Israel. They are however not recognized as rabbis and do not have the authority to perform marriages. Nevertheless, a new generation of rabbis of Ethiopian origin trained in Israel are gradually taking over.

So, yeah, very much second-class citizens. From the Wikipedia article "Ethiopian Jews in Israel."

[Pl?ya Manhattan.]

Ethiopian Jews had never heard of Hanukkah before they emigrated to Israel, so I can imagine that there was some remedial training in order.

[Pan Zagloba]

Ruth from Book of Ruth was one of those people, wasn't she? Non-Jew who adopted the Jewish mores and was presented as a woman worth above rubies, despite her Moabian(?) origins?

[jesse.in.mb]

Yeah, she was a Moabite.

My parents had an extra ticket to see the Dead Sea Scrolls at the California Science Center a few weeks ago and invited me along. My mom foamed at the mouth when one of the historians said something about most of the Northern Kingdom population being descended from Canaanite tribes that had been absorbed by the tribe of Judah (paraphrasing his analysis here) to form the Kingdom of Israel and the talk of 12 tribes was a post hoc justification for unification. Foaming. At. The. Mouth.

[Heroic Mulatto]

The term is ger toshav,/i.

[Heroic Mulatto]

The term is ger toshav,/i.

[Pl?ya Manhattan.]

Hebrew for "Hop on"?

[Heroic Mulatto]

More like Hebrew for "green card".

[gaoxiaen]

Hebrew for Mormon.

[Pan Zagloba]

If you read the article, by culturally Jewish she means "read Phillip Roth" and role-played as Ben Gurion in a university course. Her "Zionism" is barely-disguised idea that Palestinians should have a state, and as for Israel? Well, she's uncomfortable describing herself as "Zionist".
But as Dan said above, J-Street is pro-Israel like I'm pro-Socialist.

[Cytotoxic]

Here is an interesting article about Guatemala's anti-corruption revolution and how a far-left UN body is fucking with the country and empowering its former guerrillas.

http://panampost.com/steve-hec.....la-bullet/

[jesse.in.mb]

Wait, is anybody going to click through to the Barbie article? Because it's pretty fucking amazing.

[Pl?ya Manhattan.]

Give me the gist, twitter style.

[jesse.in.mb]

"I created the account to make fun of the people who were using the 'liveauthentic' hashtag on Instagram, all their pictures looked alike to me and I couldn't tell them apart anymore so it just didn't seem all that authentic," the Instagram account's creator, a Portland-based wedding photographer in her mid-20s who didn't disclose her identity, told Koin 6 news.

The pictures are pitch-perfect mockeries of the shit people post on Instagram. It's the photographic equivalent of slapping the girls that Los Doyers always hits on.

[Crusty Juggler]

It is a spot-on parody.

Kudos on actually reading the provided link, Jesse.

Kudos on the link, ENB.

Shame on you, Playa, for not caring.

[Pl?ya Manhattan.]

I'm trying to care.

Nope. I can't. Lemme finish lunch and try again.

[MJGreen - Docile Citizen]

On the other hand, it is like sooo two days ago.

[Paul.]

I second what the Juggler says, thanks for making me interested in the Barbie link. It was excellent.

[Los Doyers]

If by hitting on you mean sending unsolicited dick pics, then yes.

[Ted S.]

Clicking through is hard.

[Pan Zagloba]

I did, and you're right, it's a stream of delights that not even Trump could ruin.

[gaoxiaen]

Would.

[*GILMORE*]

"[Apple] announced the release of its latest gadgets today, including a new iPad?with a stylus'!

AND THE WORLD WAS NEVER THE SAME AGAIN.

[Fist of Etiquette]

McDonald's restaurants in the U.S. and Canada will start serving cage-free eggs.

Pressed egg sweepings.

[Pl?ya Manhattan.]

Cage free is meaningless.

[Trump-o-Trump 5trumpthousand]

Eggs don't belong in cages! They belong in baskets! And on sammiches!

[Suthenboy]

All of the buzzwords used to sell shit to self absorbed people who have never known hardship are meaningless. It is an emotional appeal, so it doesn't require meaning.

Hope 'n change Playa, hope 'n change.

[Tonio]

I've known real hardship, and I do care about animal welfare. Fuck the hell off.

[Pl?ya Manhattan.]

You know what he meant. It's fucking consumerism.

[jdgalt]

Does it count as cage-free if McD has to give the chicken the day off for "family leave"? (ducks)

[BiMonSciFiCon]

"We will have so much winning if I get elected that you may get bored with winning," Donald Trump told Iran-deal protesters outside the U.S. Capitol this morning.

Hmm... this doesn't feel very "trollish." Did you run the links by Robby first?

[Trump-o-Trump 5trumpthousand]

No alt-text, either.

[Hyperion]

Apple sucks.

[Cytotoxic]

This. Apple fans are even worse. It's like Trump and his fans.

[Pl?ya Manhattan.]

The Apple TV is what I really don't get. I have 3 throughout the house, and I use them for Airplay display mirroring on the big screen. That's it.

I don't even know where the remotes are.

[grrizzly]

NHL and HBO GO. That's why I have mine.

[jesse.in.mb]

Roku Box ftw!

[Crusty Juggler]

Second the Roku. I have a Roku 3 and it is the bomb diggity.

[Hyperion]

What the hell is this Roku thing?

[Pl?ya Manhattan.]

It's for poors who don't have cable.

[grrizzly]

Or for those who have several homes.

[Crusty Juggler]

The Roku is for people who are too smart for cable. We are better than you.

[Hyperion]

I'm looking into the Fire TV thingy. And there's this other thingie that works with it, that allows you to get even more TV that you'll never watch.

Honestly, I sat down in front of the TV yesterday, picked up the remote and looked at it. It was like a monkey looking at an iPad. It took me a few minutes to remember what you do with it, then I couldn't remember which of the 900 channels I'm supposed to look at. I never watch TV, been that way for years.

[Crusty Juggler]

The Roku and the Fire are essentially the same. If you have amazon prime, your amazon prime works with the Roku. I prefer the setup of the Roku, but as of right now there is no HBO app. Sad.

[Mrs. Lemuel Struthers]

I have a Roku but still need cable to get premium channels - mostly HBO. Once they go streaming, I'm dumping cable.

[jesse.in.mb]

I think HBO has a pay service Now.

HBO Now, I'm not just randomly capping Now.

[Crusty Juggler]

I thought it was not yet ready for Roku. Once again, thanks.

[jesse.in.mb]

Actually on double checking it's only available for FireTV, AppleTV and Chromecast. I think you can get it in with a PlayOn or Plex channel (I'd double check on that though).

[jesse.in.mb]

Small streaming box. Most of the other companies have a vested interest in their media stores so if you search for a show or movie it'll show you their content even if there's a cheaper version from somebody else. The Roku box searches the big 5 and shows you a comparison. The newer ones are just an HDMI stick too.

[Hyperion]

Yeah, I remember now. I've been sort of looking at Fire TV as something else to buy that I don't need and will never use.

[jesse.in.mb]

Fire TV is a solid device but it's strongly biased to Amazon content. If you're heavily invested in their ecosystem it could be a good choice. Same with the Apple TV if you're balls deep in iPhones and Macbooks and do most of your purchasing through iTunes.

[Hyperion]

Well, I am a prime member. The other service I was looking at is Sling because it supposedly will let me get some more Brazilian TV through Fire TV. If I could do that, I would dump Comcast Cable and just have internet.

[grrizzly]

Fire TV is the only device that let's you watch your Sling Box (not toe be confused with Sling TV) on a TV screen.

[Bobarian (Would Chip Her)]

My Samsung TV does the streaming shit direct from my WiFi.

Works slick. Get Prime and HBOGo and has a lot of other things avail. Too much to watch now.

[grrizzly]

I bought one and had to return it. Why? Because I have HBO from my Xfinity subscription and a year ago Roku didn't support Xfinity's HBO subscription but Apple TV did. I didn't have the slightest idea that it was so complicated. Since then Roku increased the number of qualified HBO providers.

[jesse.in.mb]

Yeah, the cable validation system is a pain (generally). I do like that Roku does it by pin code entered on a website though. Not sure how Apple does it.

[grrizzly]

It's the same with Apple or Amazon's Fire TV.

Incidentally, Fire TV is the best device on the market. Especially if you install Kodi.

[Hyperion]

Ok, what's Kodi? Gawd, I hate Comcast. I would still have their internet, but I'd like to dump the cable TV package.

[jesse.in.mb]

Kodi?

Wait is that what they renamed XBMC a year ago or something? Can you just replace the entire software layer of the Fire TV? That would make it more interesting.

[grrizzly]

Yes, https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kodi_(software)

It's even better. Kodi functions as an app on the Fire TV, there's no need to replace the apps and functionality that Amazon pre-installed on the device.

[jesse.in.mb]

Very interesting. I might have to look at that if I ever replace my Roku. Amazon is doing interesting things with their hardware.

[Ayn Random Variation]

I just read through this subthread and I feel like a caveman. I have no idea what anyone is talking about, and am a bit frightened that people go through this much trouble to watch TV.

[Crusty Juggler]

It is to NOT watch tv! OMG!

If you do not have a smart tv, you can buy a device (the Roku, Amazon Fire, etc), that will allow to access streaming services. It is pretty simple.

[Ayn Random Variation]

Why is all this rigmarole and skullduggery easier than Comcast OnDemand? I can watch whatever I want on it.

[Rhywun]

I have no idea what anyone is talking about

You're not the only one.

[Timon 19]

More important question: can I get Amazon Prime content on a box running Kodi natively (a RasPi 2)?

I'm guessing no. I'm currently only scratching the surface with the Kodi install I'm using (playing music primarily), and I'm sure I can find out myself, but hey...

[Pl?ya Manhattan.]

Hmm. And what would the need be to upgrade to the new one that's 50% more expensive?

[Rufus J. Firefly]

What's this NHL you speak of?

And should I keep Foligno or Duchene in my keeper league?

Awaits responses.

[Hyperion]

It's a sport in Canuckistan. They have these things that they hit around on ice with sticks. But mostly that's all a front for them occasionally beating each other senseless, which seems to be the part the fans watch for.

[grrizzly]

NHL Gamecenter Live. Or whatever it's called.

[Pan Zagloba]

There are board game apps on App Store that I like, but would work so much better on bigger screen for local multiplayer (Smallworld, Ticket to Ride). Deck builders like Dominion or Thunderstone would be great, because setup takes too long with them, and AppleTV takes care of that shit. Particularly if you keep hidden information like cards in hand and Victory Points on your phone.

[Pl?ya Manhattan.]

To be clear, you're talking about porn, right?

[Hyperion]

What's a board game?

[SimonJester]

If you dig Thunderstone and other card games like that you should check out Hearthstone. That, also, would be awesome on a large screen.

[Pan Zagloba]

I don't dig them because I'm terrible at them (what do you mean, I'm suppose to throw cards away? they're MY CARDS!) but I love me some Heartstone, even though I'm not good at it. I tried "Hight Quality" graphics option on my desktop and it actually looks really good. So yeah, it might be a good candidate for Apple TV, unless it melts the poor thing instead.

[Pl?ya Manhattan.]

What's an abortion survivor?

[Crusty Juggler]

A double-mistake?

[Zeb]

Charlie Kelley.

[Private Chipperbot]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8Hb8sNQSV40

[Rufus J. Firefly]

You?

[Stormy Dragon]

https://youtu.be/Fn7VCCj3Zs4?t=7m23s

[Fist of Etiquette]

Is the obsession with Apple events pack journalism, real news, or something else altogether?

Easy page views.

[R C Dean]

Social signaling, would be my bet.

[Crusty Juggler]

Ronda Rousey to Star in 'Road House' Reboot

I'd let her give me an ocular pat-down.

[Antilles]

You should follow that up with a physical pat-down, just to be sure.

[Crusty Juggler]

"Right kitten heel."

[Ted S.]

Will she be doing the Ida Lupino role or the Celeste Holm role?

[*GILMORE*]

IRAN = Just Hurry Up and End Sanctions So We Can Go Back to Ignoring You On Every Other Issue

"We negotiated with the U.S. on the nuclear issue for specific reasons. (The Americans) behaved well in the talks, but we didn't and we won't allow negotiation with the Americans on other issues," Ayatollah Khamenei was quoted as saying.

"The Americans are not hiding their animosity towards Iran... Americans in the Congress are plotting and passing bills against us... Negotiations are a tool for them to influence Iran and to impose their will," Ayatollah Khamenei said to hundreds of visitors to his offices."

God willing there will be nothing left of the Zionist regime in 25 years," Khamenei said. "Meanwhile, the heroic jihadi Islamic spirit will not leave the Zionists in peace for a second."

Surely this is the Peace in Our Time that Ed K and others have promised.

[Rufus J. Firefly]

Why would you trust anyone who dresses that way and carries such a beard?

I'd be, like, all 'No way man! I ain't dealing with that dude!'

[B.P.]

"He's hiding something in all that hair!"

[MJGreen - Docile Citizen]

That's too much, man!

[Zaytsev]

I look forward to president Trump slamming the ayahola for his grooming habits.

[Antilles]

The fact Iran is incapable of keeping quiet and playing along until their deal goes through does not bode well for the day they get their nuclear bombs.

[*GILMORE*]

"" HA HA HA HA HA!!! FOOLED YOU!!"""

[Suthenboy]

I can't decide if Obumbles really thinks the Iran deal is a good thing, if he is really trying to fuck us, or if he is just shitting in the nest for the inevitable R president to come. Also, I can't decide which would be the worst.

[*GILMORE*]

"I can't decide if Obumbles really thinks the Iran deal is a good thing"

My belief (contra Khamenei claims) is that there is *actually* a lot more in the Iran Deal beyond the mere 'nuclear' stuff that has never been made public.

Because the fact is that Iran's impact on regional security problems in the area is in many ways a more-significant issue than their pursuit of nukes. in terms of the latter... many people in the security world believe there is no true way to keep 1950s technology out of people's hands in the 21st century. Their possession of nukes is inevitable. So the more important issue is to develop some kind of relations with Iran before they ever get them where we can neutralize the potential for their engagement in "unexpected" conflict.

I think Khamenei's comments are both sincere... AND somewhat bullshit, and crafted to give the impression that they won a very narrowly defined deal.

[Cytotoxic]

All of this is ridiculous of course. There can be no peace until the current Iranian regime is destroyed.

[*GILMORE*]

Good luck w/ that.

[gaoxiaen]

We'd better keep our plywood aircraft carriers away from there.

[Zaytsev]

It's quite amazing how people talk themselves into believing delusional nonsense.

Not to Godwin up the thread but...

In the 1930s serious British foreign policy experts were convinced that Hitler was a middle of the road Nazi and that his rhetoric was bullshit for domestic consumption - to placate the 'extremists' in his coalition.

[Antilles]

I think he truly believe the Iranians can be trusted, and if we act nice to them then they'll like us in return. No other explanation makes sense to me.

[Zaytsev]

He's getting a kickback from the $150bn that we're giving them.

That's the Chicago Way and the only way to explain his pushing this shit sandwich forward.

[jdgalt]

Obozo deliberately created ISIS in the hope that he'll get to be a hero by sending in the army that squashes them. But the Left is not yet cooperating by pretending they're a threat to us.

So now he's trying to manipulate Iran into stirring them up. And Iran is laughing and saying, "he thinks we'll do *what*?"

By the time this is over, Israel will have been nuked and Iran will need to be nuked, probably by us.

[Cytotoxic]

"Obozo deliberately created ISIS

Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiggggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhht

[The Late P Brooks]

Russian troops are joining in military operations in Syria in support of government troops there...

Does this mean we'll be supplying ISIS with stinger missiles now?

[Mazakon]

Pink Dolphin found this summer, last seen in 2007

A pink dolphin like Pinky is very rare. This summer's sightings mark the first time such a sight has been recorded since Rue filmed the mammal in 2007 when he was on his boat in Louisiana. However, the pink dolphin (believed to have a rare genetic condition) is all grown up and may even be pregnant. Rue tells the network he recently saw Pinky mating with another dolphin, suggesting she could perhaps pass on her uniquely colorful trait.

[B.P.]

Dolphin kink.

[SimonJester]

I wonder if other dolphins self-identify as a Pink Dolphin and we just don't get it.

[Suthenboy]

Cool. I saw her once on a trip out to eht flower gardens. Glad to see that she is still around. That has been a while back.

[Pope Jimbo]

So is there a betting pool yet for when Pinky is offed by a dentist from Tokyo?

[gaoxiaen]

She was mating with Rainbow Fish. It was just a one-tide stand.

[Entropy Drehmaschine Void]

Where is Swiss when you need him?

[Rufus J. Firefly]

I notice a lot of millennials carry thick beards.

I wonder if it has anything to do with them being emasculated and needing to feel like men again.

Meh.

/shrugs shoulders. Bites into fig.

[Trump's Grenzmauer]

But then they perfectly groom their hair, it looks ridiculous. If you want to go for that barbarian look then you can't have perfectly groomed short hair damn it.

If you need inspiration look at one of the many folk metal band from Finland, thats how you rock a beard, the hair has to match, long.

[Rufus J. Firefly]

And don't forget the tattoos all over their forearms and the back of their necks as if they're bad ass.

[Ayn Random Variation]

You know, you just hit on why I think they look so ridiculous. I could never put my finger on it. I actually couldn't stop laughing the other day when I saw one walking down the street with a case of PBR. It looked like a bad commercial.

[jesse.in.mb]

I think you might be reading too much into it. Clean shaven was a thing, then people got tired of overly finely primped ken-doll men and went for something bushier, eventually people became overly finely primped beardos and the pendulum has started swinging back the other way.

[Rufus J. Firefly]

Well, I do have time on my hands.

[Trump's Grenzmauer]

If you want a beard just don't shave for awhile, and full Rasputin or grow a beard that is supposed to be groomed like a goatee, but this overly primped lumberjack nonsense is complete bullshit.

I instinctively hate anyone I see that looks like that. I can't help it.

[The Last American Hero]

It's to hide the neck fat.

[Pope Jimbo]

I'm just pissed because my new beard (for the winter) has come in with a fucking patch of grey in it.

Personally I blame it on global warming. My wife has an alternate theory, but I won't embarrass her by going into it here.

[gaoxiaen]

Everyone usually shaves after deer season, right?

[Pope Jimbo]

February. You cut it off in order to appease the Spring god.

If you have enough hair to make her happy Spring will come early. I'm worried that this fucking gray hair will anger her and we won't see the grass until end of May.

[jesse.in.mb]

I keep getting white hairs that are too coarse for my beard trimmer to catch. Roommate mocks me for vanity when I go after them with tweezers.

[Pope Jimbo]

Jesse you must be stealthy as hell to sneak up on a buck so close that you get his coarse hairs stuck in your beard!

Usually white tails are a lot more wary.

[jesse.in.mb]

Like an Indian tracker.

[*GILMORE*]

State Department Devotes 50 Full-Time Staff to Scrubbing Clinton Emails

[Pl?ya Manhattan.]

"I'm very motivating. People say they have to work a lot harder when I'm around."

[Bobarian (Would Chip Her)]

That 'Scrubbing' link; very reminiscient of this.

[Zaytsev]

They already have 20 full time and 50 part time staffers working on it. They're adding an additional 50 'temporary' staffers.

Which kind of implies that it's a full time career for at least 20 of them.

[Mazakon]

Homeopathy conference goes badly after delegates take hallucinogenic drug

An alternative medicine conference has ended in chaos in Germany after dozens of delegates took a LSD-like drug and started suffering from hallucinations.

Broadcaster NDR described the 29 men and women "staggering around, rolling in a meadow, talking gibberish and suffering severe cramps".

[Ted S.]

Homeopathy

[Trump's Grenzmauer]

I get confused by homeopathy, did they get messed up because they took an really large dose, or a really small dose?

[Pl?ya Manhattan.]

The dose was so strong that they didn't take any at all.

[Pan Zagloba]

staggering around, rolling in a meadow, talking gibberish and suffering severe cramps

So, the conference continued as if nothing happened?

[Paul.]

Russian troops are joining in military operations in Syria in support of government troops there, according to Reuters.

Wait, fuck are we still air-striking Syria? Does that mean the west might kill Russian Troops?

[Pan Zagloba]

Unlikely, since Western strikes are mostly in east Syria and in Iraq, where there are no Syrian government forces to back up. If Russians decide to do something ground-based to ISIS (unlike, say, bombing them as well), I'm sure back channels will be started to make sure nothing untoward happens.

[Derpetologist]

Ran 5 miles in 42m30s today.

Victory music: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7R5A0pg4oN8

[Hyperion]

Were you able to spear any mammals during this running? Cause otherwise, I don't get the purpose of it.

[Derpetologist]

There's a place in the Ozarks where you can hunt hogs with a spear:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6_16go1VT3E

I want to do that someday. That and run with the bulls in Pamplona.

Today's run was just to build up endurance. My next goal is to run a mile in 6 minutes.

[Hyperion]

Are you allowed to be armed with many other weapons, the kind that shoot lead, for when you barely wound the 500 lb hog and make it really pissed off?

[Derpetologist]

I wouldn't spear hunt from a perch in a tree though, like in the video. If you want caveman cred, you have to be close enough to get gored by a tusk.

[Hyperion]

After that you can move on to hunting Siberian tigers with a kitchen knife. Don't forget to stream all this primal hunting for our enjoyment.

[Derpetologist]

I was up close and personal with an African bull elephant once.

I've also climbed Mt Kiliminjaro and been skydiving:

http://platedlizard.blogspot.c.....tures.html

[Troy muy grande boner]

I always new that in tandems, you were the catcher.

[Derpetologist]

At most places, if it's your first jump, you have to go tandem.

[Tejicano]

My first jump was static line. Maybe things have changed since the 90's.

[JWatts]

"Don't forget to stream all this primal hunting for our enjoyment."

And the betting pool, of course.

[Pan Zagloba]

+1 Ancaeus.

[Suthenboy]

Holy cow Derp, that is a hell of an improvement since you started. I am impressed.

[Derpetologist]

My goal was 5 miles in 40 minutes, which is one of the physical requirements for Army Rangers. I have no interest in being a Ranger, but it gives me pride to meet the standard.

[Suthenboy]

"There's a place in the Ozarks where you can hunt hogs with a spear"

We have a place in Louisiana like that too. We call it...Louisiana.

[SimonJester]

Well done! Go get yourself a hooker to celebrate!

[Pan Zagloba]

Real American Hooker, none of the imported ones?

[Derpetologist]

Only cage-free, local, certified organic hookers for me.

[Tonio]

[wild applause]

BTW, you go, Derpy. Congrats on the new, improved you.

[MJGreen - Docile Citizen]

My gift to you all: there is a movie about Barack and Michelle's first date. I'm doing some work on the trailer, and so far it looks exactly as you would expect it to look. Be on the lookout for a release date and mark your calendars!

[Pl?ya Manhattan.]

Non fiction?

[Suthenboy]

I am sure the non fiction version would have Barry asking her to be his beard and what the wookie would get in return. So, no.

[Paul.]

Who writes this stuff?

[That's A Bingo!]

Richard Tanne, according to IMDB.

[Derpetologist]

SugarFree? He's the only person I can think of with a strong enough stomach to write that.

[SugarFree]

Slander. Pure slander.

[SugarFree]

I mean "libel." Pure libel.

[SugarFree]

And slander!

[Ted S.]

And some people would say there's no Obama hagiography.

[Hyperion]

Gross!

[The Last American Hero]

I thought he prevented her from meeting an untimely end and she owed him a life debt.

[Troy muy grande boner]

I didn't see Chewbaca in the casting list.

[Tonio]

Hagiography is a hell of a thing.

[*GILMORE*]

Van Near Elementary School = Bad Things Inside

[Paul.]

Is the elementary school down by the river?

[Pl?ya Manhattan.]

Lennox. Crazy shit goes on there.

[Paul.]

If this were Cleveland, and more importantly, Warty's Cleveland neighborhood, I presume every basement has women and children trapped in the basement.

[Paul.]

In the basement. Just in case I wasn't clear about the basement.

[Irish ?s ESB]

http://www.mcellistrem.com/201.....rica-safe/

Herp.

"Australia used to be a country with a robust gun culture. But after a massacre in Tasmania that left 35 people dead by guns, the country implemented a ban on semi-automatic and automatic rifles and shotguns ? and instituted a mandatory buy-back program for newly banned weapons.

Now, since gun violence in Australia was much lower than it is in the US, the results of the ban are not as clear-cut as we would like to see. However, what is clear is that suicide rates have gone down dramatically. Lives have been saved because of the restrictions placed on gun ownership."

Herp derp. America's suicide rate is actually lower today than it was in the 60's despite far larger amounts of gun ownership, but don't let that stop you.

[Hyperion]

We need laws to protect us from this conflicting data, for the children.

[paranoid android]

More like laws protecting us from post hoc ergo propter hoc fallacies.

[Suthenboy]

Didn't Bailey post an article about that today?

[*GILMORE*]

NY Gun Control Laws = Clearly needed more than ever

[Paul.]

All the gun crime merely proves their necessity.

[*GILMORE*]

All the innocent bystanders they shoot while trying to arrest regulation-violators will feel gratified knowing they died for a good cause.

[SimonJester]

http://www.msn.com/en-us/news/.....smsnnews11

Hungarian journalist filmed tripping man carrying migrant child

Pictures are mildly entertaining.

[RBS]

A migrant carrying a child falls after tripping on a TV camerawoman (R) while trying to escape from a collection point in Roszke village, Hungary, September 8, 2015.

[RBS]

Is there no limit to how low those evil Republicans will go?

[RBS]

A migrant carrying a child falls after tripping on a TV camerawoman (R) while trying to escape from a collection point in Roszke village, Hungary, September 8, 2015.

[RBS]

A migrant carrying a child falls after tripping on a TV camerawoman (R) while trying to escape from a collection point in Roszke village, Hungary, September 8, 2015.

[*GILMORE*]

Back.... and to the left.... Back..... and to the left......

[jesse.in.mb]

Does the article also have the video of her kicking the little girl in the shin?

[B.P.]

On the Apple gadgetry... touch screens are just a fad, right? Because I have an Ipad and I'm constantly clicking on links with my fat fingers that I never intended to touch.

[Bobarian (Would Chip Her)]

The entire Apple business model is just a fad. A very successful one, but still just a fad.

[The Late P Brooks]

But after a massacre in Tasmania that left 35 people dead by guns, the country implemented a ban on semi-automatic and automatic rifles and shotguns ? and instituted a mandatory buy-back program for newly banned weapons.

It's funny, but I'm pretty sure I saw something that said the Australians only surrendered about twenty per cent of the estimated number of weapons in private hands.
I guess only the crooks and murderers chose to obey the law.

[*GILMORE*]

Scientists = Shit in the Ocean Makes Clouds Happen, Or Something

[Suthenboy]

Why is this news?

We have known for a long time that precipitation requires a substrate.

[*GILMORE*]

""Why is this news?""

CLIMATE MODELS NEED MOAR INPUTS SO EASIER TO HIDE ASSUMPTIONS

[Notorious UGCC]

From the fundamentalist Sky-Daddy fanciers at the Atlantic:

"Kim Davis Is Winning

"The Rowan County Clerk's resistance to the erosion of religious liberty is reenergizing the broader movement....

"Welp, Kim Davis and her lawyers just tussled with a federal judge, and they pretty much whooped him....

"...Davis embodies resistance to the perceived silencing of religious viewpoints. As soon as Bunning ordered Davis into the custody of federal marshals, the optics were lost. Just as the gay-rights movement won the marriage fight with images of loving couples and happy, gay-parented children, so the religious-liberty movement is bolstered by images of middle-aged women jailed for defending their beliefs....

"But most of all, the Davis case should serve as a reminder to the left that religious-freedom claims are potent, especially in the 21 states, like Kentucky, that have special laws protecting religious groups. From birth control to same-sex weddings, many recent religious-freedom claims have depended on symbols, like signing your name to a government form or baking a cake for a ceremony. Go ahead and scoff, but meanwhile, Kim Davis will have her next victory speech ready for a press conference full of supporters."

http://www.theatlantic.com/pol.....is/404410/

[Hyperion]

Well, sounds like they all fard up! Next thang you know, they gonna be a jumpin over some burnin bushes and a speakin in tongues! Weeehaaaa!!!

Take that you statists, our statism is better than your statism cause the Lawd likes our statism better! Take that!

[Cytotoxic]

I wish I could draw a check for not doing my job and call it 'religious liberty'.

[Notorious UGCC]

Bear in mind that about 75% of the Kentuckians cutting her checks do *not* believe that facilitating SSM should be part of her job. That's the margin by which Kentucky voters amended the state constitution to provide that government officials shall recognize *only* man/woman marriages.

You can say the Supreme Court can change the law on a whim, but you can't insinuate that the Justices pay her salary.

[Hyperion]

I'm pretty familiar with that area. Lots of fundy Baptist and Holy Roller type So-Con redneck fundies, unless it's changed an awful lot in the last couple decades.

[Hyperion]

Lots of weed too.

[AlmightyJB]

They have both religions in Kentucky. Baptist and Methodist.

[Notorious UGCC]

Here are the county-by county results for the marriage amendment in 2004.

I must say there's whole lot of Holy-Rolling rednecks in Kentucky!

[Notorious UGCC]

http://www.cnn.com/ELECTION/20.....y.000.html

[Cytotoxic]

I really don't care about the opinions of Kentuckians at least in this regard. They are just like a snake's old skin, to be shed off where it will join the detritus along with people angry that races could intermarry. Her position should not even be elected.

[Hyperion]

Her position shouldn't even exist. Probably much like the one you're looking to get.

[Cytotoxic]

I don't want to dox myself, but the position I am interested in is one of the very few sciencey government jobs that should exist.

[Tonio]

Srsly, Hyper? I view the recording of contracts and registering of deeds as one of the few legitimate functions of County/Municipal government. Not that archivist should be an elected position, of course.

Now, as to that other thing she does in the meeting-planner aspect of her job (scheduling cases, judges, witnesses, etc), that's also a legitimate function of government, but also shouldn't be an elected position.

[Pl?ya Manhattan.]

You heard it here first!!! Tonio is against gay marriage!!!

[paranoid android]

Bear in mind that about 75% of the Kentuckians cutting her checks do *not* believe that facilitating SSM should be part of her job.

Unless they also believe she shouldn't be "facilitating" straight marriages, she still wasn't doing her job.

[Dan Bongard]

Notorious knows that. He chooses to pretend that she was only refusing to issue licenses to gay couples.

[Notorious UGCC]

I said that the people cutting her checks don't believe her job should include facilitating SSM.

Don't be coy - you know why she doesn't want her name on the marriage licenses, and it isn't because she's suddenly developed a hatred of straight people.

[Hyperion]

Well, you can certainly get paid for not doing anything. Just go work for the government.

[Cytotoxic]

That's what I am trying to do! I have an interview coming up.

[Dan Bongard]

Just mention how much you hate gay people. Works like a charm.

[*GILMORE*]

Trump = They're All Towels

[Bobarian (Would Chip Her)]

Trump: "We are led by very, very stupid people"

"and I think we can be led by someone even MOAR stupider!" he didn't add.

[Cytotoxic]

My sleep is being disturbed by bad dreams a lot lately. What does it mean?

[Crusty Juggler]

It means every single opinion you have ever had about film and television is wrong. Change that shit right now and you will sleep better.

[Cytotoxic]

My insomnia has eased but if I ever can't sleep I guess it makes sense to put on some ST:TOS. Sleeping pill starring Shatner.

[jesse.in.mb]

Did the woman in the blue dress have curly hair or straight hair?

*puffs on pipe thoughtfully*

Have some cocaine, it'll fix what ails you.

[Cytotoxic]

Doesn't cocaine do the opposite of making you sleep?

[jesse.in.mb]

Send up of Freud. Have you had any changes to your diet, vitamins, etc? I took saw palmetto (and other stuff) for a while after I found out I'm at increased risk of prostate cancer (damn you genetics!) and it had the odd effect of making my sleep much shallower and my dreams really fucking vivid. By the end of two weeks people thought I had cancer I was getting so little sleep and looked drawn and overall unwell. When I stopped my sleep went back to normal.

If your sleep difficulty seems more anxiety based I'd recommend kava. Fiji has started exporting kava shots called Taki Mai which are kind of pricey (and I don't know if Canuckistan has authorized sale) and there's also kava tea, which is generally what I go for. It's an incredibly mild anxiolytic. Valerian would be another solid choice (but it smells...odd).

Or if you prefer you can tell us the contents of your dreams and I can dig out my ancient copy of 10,000 Dreams Interpreted and maybe cast some yarrow stalk oracles for you.

[jesse.in.mb]

You may also be apneating and less able to tolerate the shallow sleep as you age. A sleep study followed by use of a half-mask should do the trick.

[*GILMORE*]

I already said "Witches", you witch. No need to show-off.

[jesse.in.mb]

I know, CPAPs are certainly witchcraft.

I suppose I should just stick to reading the I Ching from oracle bones.

[*GILMORE*]

Witches

[Cytotoxic]

Bitches!

[*GILMORE*]

Someone's going to be getting an extra dose of Newt's Eyes in the cauldron tonight

[The Late P Brooks]

"Can't sleep. PEACENAZIS will eat me."

[*GILMORE*]

""Climate Change Hits Poor the Hardest""

Guess that newspaper

[Ayn Random Variation]

Ice hits the poor the hardest. They get too much of it in the winter and not enough in the summer.

Solution: ban ice.

[bassjoe]

with presiding Rep. Bob Goodlatte (R-Va.) describing abortions in graphic detail and wondering why Yale doesn't have a center for studying abortion survivors.

Abortion.... survivors? I thought was the point that there are no abortion survivors?

[Pl?ya Manhattan.]

It's like studying bigfoot.

[Derpetologist]

For Cytotoxic and anyone else who has trouble sleeping:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bjDIKxYmNDs

Here's the long version:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nTuBCt5F68Y

[AlmightyJB]

You should be careful. You might end up sharing a cell with that bitch from Massachusetts if one of us offs themselves listening to that tripe:)

[AlmightyJB]

You should be careful. You might end up sharing a cell with that bitch from Massachusetts if one of us offs themselves listening to that tripe:)

[CatoTheChipper]

You're right. I wasn't at all sleepy, but 15 seconds in I was yawning. This guy is really talented.

[Agile Cyborg]

there is like 12 billion songs to listen your ears to.... jesus god beheaders I can't even fucking goddamn decide half the time so I just do cocaine and booze and maybe a slice of magic with a super keen edge off the various oblongs but I peer back into my lovely fascia and demand that I not sit in my spaceship without some notable notes so we shall ponder the waves and ligatures of I guess you didnt expect that word did you LIGatuRES... well neither did I - i have no fucking idea what my fingers are up 3.

[Agile Cyborg]

so be all up in the roof
and fleeing the sleuth
fled the window outside into the vast plane
the alley was tight, nigga, and the boy trapped an arcane
ride on stoned wheels so driving deep outside the clouds
of calling inner eyes and brow furrows and gods transmitting the fear
I cranked on fleeing the powerful tyranny of soldiers hunting me so dear
and far and wide for communicating my culture...