Friday Funnies: Arming Members of the Armed Services

Chip Bok | 7.24.2015 7:00 AM

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Fist of Etiquette 10 years ago

Maybe if he wasn't talking in combat he wouldn't be firing over their heads.
1. invisible furry hand 10 years ago
  
  He's shooting the ones on the wing. It's more sporting that way
2. UnCivilServant 10 years ago
  
  You'll also note that he is standing way too far out of cover. The poor guy next to him is going to end up dragging his bleeding ass out of there while fending off whoever's shooting at them.
  1. EvilWayz 10 years ago
    
    Fuck that, he's getting hot brass in the left eye!
3. Florida Man 10 years ago
  
  Bubbles taught him everything knows about combat.
  1. UnCivilServant 10 years ago
    
    Aren't you only supposed to fire shotguns in the air like that?
    
    /end biden
4. WTF 10 years ago
  
  Maybe if their flash suppressors worked their position wouldn't be so obvious.
  1. Swiss Servator, rudert schwer! 10 years ago
    
    I think they are a cross between supersoakers and flame throwers?
    1. Almanian - Trump's Woodchipper 10 years ago
      
      ASSAULT Super Soakers and flamethrowers. With scary black thingies on them.
      1. Swiss Servator, rudert schwer! 10 years ago
        
        That go up?!?!?!
        
        /Senator
The Hyperbole 10 years ago

Why are they attacking a prom? also the girls on the decoration committee need to hang their crepe ribbons with a little more sag.
straffinrun 10 years ago

Since it's Friday
1. UnCivilServant 10 years ago
  
  Is it? I thought it was Workday.
  1. straffinrun 10 years ago
    
    Vacation, my fellow UncivilServant. 8 weeks. ;p
    1. All-Seeing Woodchipper 10 years ago
      
      8 weeks? Fuck you. But the video was pretty funny.
    2. UnCivilServant 10 years ago
      
      8 weeks? Did you get laid off? Even I don't get eight weeks a year, and I work for the government.
      1. straffinrun 10 years ago
        
        I'm either working on call 7 days a week most of the year so it's not as good as it sounds.
2. invisible furry hand 10 years ago
  
  *slap!*
  1. WTF 10 years ago
    
    *SLAP!*
    1. Almanian - Trump's Woodchipper 10 years ago
      
      *SLAP!!*
3. Rich 10 years ago
  
  Nice.
  
  But it's *slap!*-ass.
  1. Almanian - Trump's Woodchipper 10 years ago
    
    "NOYCE!"
    1. Rich 10 years ago
      
      Well, at least we haven't "all had enough"!
      1. straffinrun 10 years ago
        
        Thanks. Can we make Saturday "finger!"? I got a link in mind.
        
        Almanian - Trump's Woodchipper 10 years ago
        
        You got the pussy on the chain wax, my man
        
        Rich 10 years ago
        
        "Finger Saturday"? Hmm, from an alliteration standpoint, too bad Friday's already taken. But, sure, why not?
        
        Almanian - Trump's Woodchipper 10 years ago
        
        My man Liam Neesons and the Batman want in on "Finger Saturday". Who think they can mess with the Batmans?
        
        Charles Easterly 10 years ago
        
        One of their best, in my opinion.
        
        "Michelle Pffffffffff-Fifer?"
Slammer 10 years ago

Who the hell is shooting at them? Imperial Stormtroopers?
1. invisible furry hand 10 years ago
  
  Flying monkeys?
2. UnCivilServant 10 years ago
  
  Well, they are precise, but their accuracy leaves much to be desired... so maybe.
3. Swiss Servator, rudert schwer! 10 years ago
  
  No, no! They are maneuvering through decorations left over from Eid al Fitr!
4. Charles Easterly 10 years ago
  
  "Who the hell is shooting at them?"
  
  Flying squirrels?
  1. Almanian - Trump's Woodchipper 10 years ago
    
    YOU CAN SAY THAT AGAIN!
    
    HAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
    1. Swiss Servator, rudert schwer! 10 years ago
      
      sage, is that you?!
5. Charles Easterly 10 years ago
  
  "Who the hell is shooting at them?"
  
  Flying squirrels?
  1. WTF 10 years ago
    
    SKWERLZ!!
    1. Chipper SQWRLZ of the Wood 10 years ago
      
      You rang?
  2. straffinrun 10 years ago
    
    Was that on purpose?
    1. Charles Easterly 10 years ago
      
      Twas, straffinrun.
Pompey 10 years ago

Bok, this one is pretty good!
Almanian - Trump's Woodchipper 10 years ago

I don't get it. Awful, therefore, perfect.

Happy fucking Friday, Reasonoids. I hope you all get shot in a movie theater with tracer ammo, so the phosphorous continues to burn your riddled body for minutes after, increasing your pain in the event you don't die in the initial firestorm.

I mean - no actual woodchippers were used above, and it's a joke, FEDGOV! HAHAHAHAHAHA! /sage

What is it with movie theaters? Was the movie THAT bad?

The slapping was taken care of above, so I guess that's it.
1. Rich 10 years ago
  
  What is it with movie theaters?
  
  It's the smell of stale popcorn. Reminds them of cake.
  1. Almanian - Trump's Woodchipper 10 years ago
    
    "The theater. It smelled vaguely of dried mascara, shattered dreams and lost innocence. It was a place where concessions demanded a king's ransom, but life was cheap."
    
    The beginning of my next novel.
    1. Swiss Servator, rudert schwer! 10 years ago
      
      *applause*
      1. Rich 10 years ago
        
        Agree, but only if the next line is *not* "Suddenly a shot rang out!"
Wasteland Wanderer 10 years ago

I'm not usually up this late early. What's with all the slapping?
1. Charles Easterly 10 years ago
  
  They do a lot of internet slapping on Fridays.
Galactic Chipper Cdr Lytton 10 years ago

The guard spokesman for my state said that they don't need to be armed or have any extra security because the soldiers have experience and training with dealing with shooters.
AD-RtR/OS! 10 years ago

Went by a major recruiting center (United States Career Center) this afternoon here in SoCal....
Locked, Dark, and Empty.
I guess they're "Sheltering In Place" at home.

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Friday Funnies: Arming Members of the Armed Services

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