Friday Funnies: Let's Make a Deal

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What is that leisure Santa bought? Fat Man or Little Boy?
I don't want to be a fat man
I have not the patience to ignore all that
I hate to admit to myself
Half of my problems came from being fat
+1 Jethro Tull
Stand Up, Chuck!
Dare to be fat
Fat is where it's at
Havin a ball
With cholesterol
C'mon y'all
Fat don't matter at all....
I saw a fat girl in my neighborhood
Great God Almighty she was looking good.
Tight ski pants, cashmere sweater
Root Boy can't think of nothin', nothin better
Is Mohammed really too poor to pay cash for a new turban?
If Mohammad had a real God he would have a new turban AND a nuke.
This.
Apparently "God is great", but not as great as a nuke.
Wait.
Is Iran supposed to be a nuclear bomb on an IED platform, or is Iran supposed to be a giant blue fantail goldfish on a 70s era Tonka truck?
Why is Santa using layaway when the elves can make nearly anything overnight?
Are the elves on strike? Did they all move to Iceland where people still believe in them?
How soon is now?
This is very confusing. I feel as if I've been slapped by a yeti.
Who is "Ioyr" and what is his plan?
I think the Ayatollah has "loyr'd up", as they say. Can't be too careful in these litigious times.
Well.
1) Huh?
2) I don't get it.
3) NEEDZ MOAR LABELZ
4) Awful. Therefore, perfect. Happy fucking Friday, Reasonoids. I hope ISIS sympathizers invade your home in the night and behead you in front of your family before selling them into slavery to fund their evil mission.
Also,
*SLAP!*
*slap*!
*slap!*
*SLAP!*
Damn. Missed.
AIIIIIR SLAP!
AIIIIIR SLAP!
AIIIIIR SLAP!
/College basketball crowd
Reasonette Nick Gillespie is always making fun of inane editorial cartoons. Look in the mirror, Nick. Also, where's the rabbi with his 200 nuclear weapons? In his submarine, I guess.
WHAT ABOUT DEM JOOOOOOS?!?!?!?!
You know who else didn't like the JOOOOS?
Hercule Triathlon Savinien?
I miss Herc.
Pharaoh?
+1 Red Sea
Richman?
Nicole Brown Simpson and Ron Goldman? I mean, didn't the JOOOS kill them with a knife outside of her Brentwood house?
You keep spelling your name wrong.
Wat?!?!?!?
I think Iran is probably being very rational in the quest to have a nuclear arms program considering recent events in Libya and Ukraine. Oh wait Friday Funnies... labelz!!111!!1
There's a looooong list of countries to add to Libya and Ukraine. Our readiness to drop bombs by drone or fire missiles from ships would lead any rational country to seek nukes. For some strange reason, the U.S. is not in the habit of bombing members of the nuke club.
Bits of Pakistan aside, yes?
Wasn't the pakistan drone strikes at the request of Pakistan?
The ones they requested, yes. We've had a habit of telling them afterwards, and for good reason considering that half of their government actively supports the other side through intel and logistics.
Camel meet tent.
Bits of Moander.
They started their program after Saddam invaded them and used poison gas on them, as well as city buster missiles.
They may feel that having nukes is helpful to them now, but they won't feel so happy when the Saudis have them, too, and its a 1 minute flight time.
Actually, this is why they want capability but not nukes, and why they think they can thread the needle.
US interest isn't just about Israel. Its that we don't IRGC having them, and we don't want Qatar to have them, because beyond just normal war, terror, etc. is accidental war risk.
Bibi's response.
I'm ashamed to admit I can't read what I assume is Hebrew.
It's just like reading Arabic, only different.
Oh. Doy! *slaps self on forehead*
I read Krugman so you don't have to. Nary a word about the root cause of political donations, i.e. if the government assumes the power to control something, people will seek to influence government.
At one level, there is a clear correlation between lifestyles and partisan orientation: heavier states tend to vote Republican, and the G.O.P. lean is especially pronounced in what the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention call the "diabetes belt" of counties, mostly in the South, that suffer most from that particular health problem.
At a still deeper level, health experts may say that we need to change how we eat, pointing to scientific evidence, but the Republican base doesn't much like experts, science, or evidence.
A recent Bloomberg report noted that major pizza companies have become intensely, aggressively partisan. Pizza Hut gives a remarkable 99 percent of its money to Republicans.
Pizza partisanship, then, sounds like a joke, but it isn't. It is, instead, a case study in the toxic mix of big money, blind ideology, and popular prejudices that is making America ever less governable.
http://www.nytimes.com/2015/03.....egion&_r=0
but the Republican base doesn't much like experts, science, or evidence
Not worth reading Krugman for that info.
"Let us turn the whole country into a socialist fairyland by the joint operation of the army and people!"
Not worth reading Krugman.
FIFY
So it's the goddamned Dagos then, and not the Jooz!?
SonovaBITCH!
WOP's up? How's your Dago?
+2 ICP
We're all under the control of big pizza.
I...I...am owned by BIG DEEP DISH. I admit it.
*sniffles, looks for Giordano's menu*
We weren't talking about deep dish, we were talking about pizza.
*scowls and tells pizza not to listen to the bad WTF*
Deep dish may be delicious but IT'S NOT PIZZA. Now go back to your fucking cuckoo clocks and chocolate.
Cuckoo clocks? THAT IS GERMAN!!!
*scowls...then helps self to Lindt & Sprungli chocolate to restore calm*
Lou Malnati's or GTFO.
Malnati's is also acceptable.
and Nancy's,they invented it and sold the recipe to Giordanos
OHMIGOD!
COMPANIES FOLLOW THEIR CUSTOMERS INTERESTS!
HOLY SHIT!
(I'm sure they'll all be giving up their Apple products anytime now)
I'm willing to bet the "diabetes belt" and a map of the US by race would match almost exactly. GOP suddenly doing well among blacks, huh?
I always love when Blue staters threaten to cut off red state from welfare money.
the Republican base doesn't much like experts, science, or evidence.
Well, to be fair, the "experts" don't much like Republicans, either.
Somewhere Richman is writhing in fury.
Please, don't summon him. I don't feel like slogging through another 400+ thread today.
Richman is Adam Lanza
BOOM!
Ah, Sheldon already fired his rhetorical load for the week. Chapman made a weak assed attempt to join in, but I think we have seen the full compliment of LEAVE IRAN ALONE!!!! articles for now.
Yeah, the Peanuts are all anti-war NAP unless it dings Obama then Bibi the Rat becomes a hero.
First off, the retarded don't rule the night. They don't rule it. Nobody does. And they don't run in packs. And while they may not be as strong as apes, don't lock eyes with 'em, don't do it. Puts 'em on edge. They might go into berzerker mode; come at you like a whirling dervish, all fists and elbows. You might be screaming "No, no, no" and all they hear is "Who wants cake?" Let me tell you something: They all do. They all want cake.
Did you run this post by a person with a brain first? I'm trying to habituate you to this new concept.
"the full compliment of LEAVE IRAN ALONE!!!! "
Yeah, it's almost as if they don't us to, well, intervene or something...
Is Weekly Standard not available where you're at Swiss Miss?
So you don't find it possible to both think Iran is a bad actor/not the best person to have a nuclear weapons and not want to intervene militarily?
Bo, tell us again about how refusing to answer questions about evolution or Obama's religion is exactly the same as refusing to answer questions about your scheme, while a Cabinet officer, to break federal law!
Compare today's Bok piece with this 1999 Bok piece and it appears Chip has been getting cheap with the lines-per-toon-rate as the years have passed.
*1997 Bok
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