Americans Realize Their Own Members of Congress Suck, SpaceX to Launch From Texas, Obama Ponders Executive Action Against 'Corporate Deserters': P.M. Links

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NEXT: Obama Ponders Executive Action to Penalize 'Corporate Deserters'

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  1. The Obama administration is considering ways it can bypass Congress to prevent American corporations from relocating overseas to lower their tax bills.

    Obama’s America is kinda like the Hotel California, except you can check in any time you like, but…

    1. No, it’s Hotel California the right way. You can check out (physically) any time you want, but you can never leave (monetarily).

    2. Obama’s America is also musically shitty?

      1. Get the fuck out of my cab, Ted!

      2. Show us on the doll where the Eagles touched you, Ted.

        1. Right next to the margarita from “Margaritaville”, another thoroughly retch-inducing song.

          1. Back in the days of yore (1988, I think), I was working for an inventory company. We were doing a chain buyout and were stretched thin. I spent 14 or so hours in a pharmacy with a 30-60 minute audio tape loop. It had Margaritaville on it.

            Would you like a description of hell?

            1. When I worked at Rocky Flats (around 1992) the PA system there was part of the Safety System and was required to broadcast “something” continuously to show that it was working. TPTB chose an “easy listening” radio station. “Margaritaville” was only one of the songs from hell that were broadcast continuously. Before that I used to like Jimmy Buffett.

              … Hobbit

          2. *takes off glasses* My God!

      3. I will END you, Teddy boy

            1. You wear women’s undies? Whatever floats your boat.

    3. “The Obama administration is considering ways it can bypass Congress to prevent American corporations from relocating overseas to lower their tax bills…”

      I. Am. NOT. A. SOCIALIST!

      Hello.

      1. Any multinational worth their salt should be quickly and quietly stashing assets abroad right now. And domestic companies should be marketing themselves to foreign buyers as takeover targets before their shareholders get fucked.

        1. absolutely they should be leaving ASAP. Brains and trains will be corralled.. capital controls are coming. This admin is openly fascist, it’s insane to me that no one sees this.

          Dark days ahead, boys. And the punishment will come- the loss of whipping boy corps and their tax revenue will make the govt increasingly eager to savage the regular folk.

      2. A corporate Berlin Wall coming soon to a country near you.

      3. Not a socialist, just another fucking statist, wannabe Kim Jung Il.

      4. Socialist? These are clearly fascist tactics. Maybe he and his followers don’t recognize most of his tactics as fascist but they are. See Obamacare.

    4. I hate the fucking Eagles, man.

      1. GTFO, libertarian man-crush revoked.

      2. Take all the trauma, drama, comments,
        The guilt and doubt and shame
        The “what ifs” and “if onlys”
        The shackles and the chains
        The violence and aggression,
        The pettiness and scorn,
        The jealousy and hatred,
        The tempest and discord,
        And give it up.

    5. If you want to be able to tell which is the parasite and which is the host, just separate them and see which one screams.

      1. OOH! Me likey!

        1. Every thread’s secretly an abortion thread.

    6. Mr Obama, tear down this wall!

  2. Elon Musk’s SpaceX announce its first commercial launchpad will be located in the great state of Texas?after a few checks clear from the Bank of the Taxpayers.

    In exchange, SpaceX must do some Muslim outreach.

    1. +1 con-artist “prophet”.

  3. At cease-fire talks in Cairo, Israeli officials are focusing on demilitarizing the Gaza strip.

    You know who else tried to disarm large groups of people?

        1. The Walrus was Paul.

        2. Vladimir Ilyich Ulyanov!

      1. Not large groups of people, and it wasn’t the statue or the goddess doing it.

    1. Those dudes that Col. Kurtz was talking about in that ‘Nam flick?

      1. Very good.

    2. Michael Bloomberg?

    3. Rahm Emmanuel?

  4. Vladimir Putin wants to return the favor with economic sanctions against western countries that seek to penalize Russia for meddling in Ukraine.

    Mail order bride export tariffs?

    1. Ban the airlines of the countries that imposed sanctions on Russia from flying over Siberia. That’s costly for BA, AF, AC and so on.

      1. Which intercontinental flight routes go over Siberia? Europe to Beijing/Tokyo/Seoul?

        1. Here.

          A person close to the Ministry of Foreign Affairs said that “any unfriendly measures by the EU, including those in the area of air transportation, we’ll be studied and won’t remain without a response.”

          Most nonstop flights between Europe and Asia cross through the Siberian Federal District, which saves airliners at least 4 hours in flight time to Tokyo, Japan and Seoul, South Korea. The deal was made in the 1970s under Soviet rule, and saves air carriers about $30,000 per flight.

          British Airways, Air France and Lufthansa are the biggest EU airlines. Lufthansa said it could potentially lose more than ?1 billion in three months if it does not use trans-Siberian routes, according to Forbes.The three air carriers told RT they weren’t commenting on a possible block on European flights as they don’t have any information.

          The shortest route from Europe to Asia crosses Russian Siberia and Western airlines pay Aeroflot a fixed fee or “overflight charges” for such routes.

          1. ?1 billion is $1.37B, and at $30K/flight that translates into almost 46,000 flights, or about 500 a day in three months. There’s no way Lufthansa is operating 500 some odd flights every day between Tokyo/Seoul and the EU…

            1. Could be counting lost revenue from people not taking lufthansa flights to asia.

              1. Could be, but the number still seems really high, as if Lufthansa is stating the full impact of stopping service to Asia as opposed to what they’ll actually do, which is operate flights that take 4 hours longer or spend some more on gas to push the planes faster.

        2. LA to Beijing goes over Siberia too.

        3. Chicago to basically anywhere in China.

    2. Natural gas deliveries?

  5. Conan Doyle estate ordered to pay legal fees

    The estate of Sir Arthur Conan Doyle has been ordered to pay the legal costs of an author who successfully challenged their copyright.

    Leslie Klinger took the estate to court after being told he should pay a licence fee for writing new stories based on Conan Doyle’s characters.

    A US appeal court ruled the copyright had expired, and said the estate had been “disreputable” in levying fees.

    1. Good for Ms. Klinger.

      1. +1 Jamie Farr

    2. Now if Steambot Willie can end up in the public domain….

      1. Steambot Willie sounds like a Futurama character.

        1. Ha, yes.

      2. The steambot might be, the steamboat, however, contains a character that is a registered trademark of disney corporation.

    3. Alan Vanneman to write another shitty book.

      1. Sherlock Holmes and the Giant Rat of Disneyland

        1. Surecock Holmes and the Giant Rosebud of Dr Watson

          1. I liked The Doomcock of Doom however I must say that it was much less horrifyingly disgusting than some of your earlier **retches remembering** slash porn.

            Surecock Holmes and the Giant Rosebud of Dr Watson

            You have a gift.

            1. I’ll trying and make you Pelosi real soon, MG.

              1. “try” and I’ll maybe learn to fucking type as well.

    4. How can you have copyright of a fucking character? I can understand maybe a cartoon or some other visual representation, but a character in a story? Copyright, if used at all, should be for the actual thing, like a visual representation or words put in a certain order to make a certain story. You show the same visual representation, that’s a copy of the same thing. If you use a character in a totally different story that you wrote, then that story is your IP, not the originator of the character idea.

      1. +1 Holmes-Watson ‘shipped fanfic

      2. Character is 80% of story. If copyrights don’t cover characters, then what’s the point?

      3. or some other visual representation

        A name written in text, (“Sherlock Holmes” see it?), is a visual representation.

  6. How to Find True Love in 45 Minutes

    http://www.wired.co.uk/news/ar…..ns/viewall

    1. Learning to love yourself;
      It is the greatest love of all

    2. I think the method in Chuck Palahniuk’s novel Choke probably works better.

  7. Elon Musk’s SpaceX announce its first commercial launchpad will be located in the great state of Texas?after a few checks clear from the Bank of the Taxpayers.

    Unless 007 can stop him.

  8. Slavers compelled to fuck off!

    Details of this story from last November are just coming to light:

    Sex-trafficked Albanian woman is brought to an abortion facility by her oppressors. Prolife sidewalk counselors induce her to escape:

    “While the police were inside the abortion center, the woman leaped out of the ground floor window and cleared three fences to escape! She later contacted our center where she received some support and help.”

    http://www.lifesitenews.com/ne…..ing-victim

    When Israel was in Egypt land…

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SP5EfwBWgg0

    1. “Prolife sidewalk counselors induce her…”

      Hah.

      “…to escape.”

      Oh, never mind.

      1. Go ahead and defend the slavers, O my stalker!

        1. How is that defending slavers? It was a joke on the word “induce”, as in to induce labor.

          “Stalker.” Whine louder, Opus Dei boy. Maybe someone will care.

          1. Also, humorless is as humorless does.

            1. Seriously, find a non-stalker-y hobby.

              1. “The mean atheist homo said something mean to me. Make him stop, Pope Benedict, make him stop. Waaaaaaaahhh.”

                1. WTF are you on about? Take up knitting or something.

                2. Can’t we all just get along?

                  1. Can’t we all just get along?

                    No.

                3. “ZOMG!!!111!!! They’re coming to get the Catholics!!!11!11!1!!”

                  1. Ted S.,

                    So the Albanian woman’s child was a Catholic? How do you know this?

                    1. The Catholic I’m referring to is you, darling.

                    2. A new definition of Cosmotarian – someone to whom the story of someone escaping from slavery and forced abortion can be dismissed as Catholic propaganda, because TEAM!

                    3. No, we’re laughing at your absurd overreaction to Tonio’s joke.

                    4. I can’t react to the joke until one of you explains to me why it’s a joke, and what in heck it means.

                    5. No, Eddie, nobody was dismissing the story as propaganda, catholic or otherwise. The only thing being made fun of was your use of the word “induce” in a story about a pregnant woman. A simple word play with no deeper meaning whatsoever.

            2. I laughed. I may have a warped sense of humor, but I’m not humorless.

              1. I laughed.

                really?

                I thought it sucked.

                Get it? Abortions? sucked?

                HAHA!

                1. You’re scraping the bottom of the barrel for that one, Josh.

          2. Also, humorless is as humorless does.

            Not to mention that nothing in “pro-choice” allows for approval of prostitution and abortions against a woman’s will*.

            While I am glad that this episode had a happy outcome, it seems that the local police had a hand in making it so.

            Which leads to the question, “WTF is wrong with the English?”

            In early November, pro-life advocates with the UK’s Good Counsel Network were taking part in a 40 Days for Life vigil when the young woman said she was being forced to abort by the people who accompanied her. She asked for their prayers as her companions led her inside the facility.

            I’m pretty sure that here in the USA that the “companions” of a woman being taken against her will into an abortion clinic would suffer a pretty serious beatdown from any protesters, making anything like this:

            She came back out and again told the pro-life counselors she opposed abortion and had been forced to come to the facility, but the people who brought her to the office followed her outside and began threatening the counselors, according to the Network.

            completely unnecessary.

            *though, to be sure, there are authoritarians who believe in forced abortion and birth control but they are by definition not “pro-choice.”

          3. “It was a joke on the word “induce”, as in to induce labor.”

            Holy shit, that joke is lamer than FDR.

            1. Yes, but your clueless overreaction to a simple, and admittedly rather bad pun, was emblematic of the deeper problem.

              Do your conversations with mainstream people often end in awkward silences and quick changing of the topic to the weather or the performance of local sports teams?

              1. No.

                1. Do you ever find it necessary to explain that your jokes were, in fact, jokes?

  9. …a record 51 percent saying they disapprove of the performance of their own federal lawmakers.

    Do you have any idea how hard they’re going to have to hold their nose while re-electing them?

    1. Yeah, “Congress” as an abstract entity always polls badly, but “my representative” either polls well, or is better than the challenger.

      1. Yeah, but this is not ‘”Congress” as an abstract entity,’ this is ‘their own federal lawmakers.’

        This suggests the possibility of a massive rejection of incumbents next time around.

        OTOH, dissatisfaction goes both ways.

        It could be that voters are unhappy that their reps are not giving them enough free stuff, rather than not enough.

    2. I don’t particularly care for the performance of my representative, but the alternative might be even worse. I’ll cast a write-in vote for Warty if need be.

    3. That this isn’t 98 percent is proof we’re in the crapper.

    4. Do you have any idea how hard they’re going to have to hold their nose while re-electing them?

      Please don’t encourage Reasons horrible, misleading coverage of this.

  10. Hundreds of migrants live in informal camps in the Calais port, trying to cross into Britain illegally.

    Clashes between African migrants in the French port city of Calais have left more than 50 people injured.

    A fight which started on Monday evening at a food distribution centre was initially broken up by police but later continued into the night

    .

    1. You can’t fool me… that’s from Children of Men.

  11. Olivia Wilde’s titties.

    “Dammit, get that kid offa there!”

    TIWTANFL

    1. Wait, *that’s* what they’re for?

    2. Bobblehead

    3. rape culture!

      1. Didn’t some lunatic say mothers should stop breastfeeding boy infants cuz it only encourages them.

        1. Seriously, the FB mommy groups are knife fights over whether breastfeeding pics are beautiful and natural or kiddie porn and disgusting. Don’t even get them started on naked baby butts. If FB is any example of where the average person is today, despair of things getting better.

        2. Was it this lunatic?

          http://www.funnyjunk.com/funny…..+you+lose/

          1. yes it was.

            I go the part about “encourages them” wrong…

            But she was even more crazy by claiming boy babies are already physically strong…she wants to keep them malnourished so they won’t get strong.

            Her own (all be it hypothetical in the future) children!!!

            And what the fuck?@?@ Is there any strength difference between boy babies and girl babies when they are babies?!?!

      2. The toothless predator.

    4. Oh, now you’ve done it. My wife quit breastfeeding at — 4 months? Anyhow, she is sure that these women are breastfeeding AT her. Our kid continues to hit all of the developmental milestones, has literally never been sick a day in his life, and is at the 90%+ in all of the measures (weight, length, head circumference). Maybe we are outliers, or maybe breastfeeding correlates with another variable.

  12. There’s a new dance and it’s called the Sharkesha

    There’s a new leaker and he’s called notSnowden

    http://www.cnn.com/2014/08/05/…..?hpt=hp_t1

    1. Hmmmm, If I were a journalist, right about now, I’d be very suspicious of any new government “leakers” that want my confidence.

  13. Coyotes (people smugglers) are using FB to help smuggle people across borders, and those undocumented immigrants are also using FB. This is a wonderful example of how technology enhances our freedoms and the economy.

    http://in.reuters.com/article/…..AH20140805

    1. Wait until they find FB is run by Acme Enterprises.

      1. With Wile E. Coyote (Genius) acting as CEO.

    2. THIS IS WHAT SOME PEOPLE ACTUALLY BELIEVE.

      1. Nope. This is just what’s happening, and there’s nothing you or anyone else can do to stop it.

  14. Americans belatedly have a sad over the quality of congressional representation, with a record 51 percent saying they disapprove of the performance of their own federal lawmakers.

    That will not, however, be considered sufficient reason for them to elect someone else.

    1. “And what, hand the election to the [INSERT OTHER PARTY]!?”

    2. It’s the other TEAM’s fault!

    3. Yeah, great. This means Ben Ray Lujan will be elected 65-35% rather than 70-30%. Lucky me.

      That’s if the R’s even find a sacrificial lamb to run against him.

      … Hobbit

    1. It’s my human right to eat 8 boxes of Ho-Hos and a case of Dr Pepper daily. Stop oppressing me my making my toes gangrenous.

    2. You know, I’ve consulted on a large, widespread diabetes tracking project across north and central Florida. Tens of thousands of patients. Either people, when confronted with the diagnosis, become self-managing or they become high risk. The number one predictor for whether or not a patient will need hospitalization is whether they attend their scheduled six month checkup appointments or not. Number two is whether they attend scheduled specialist visits. That is why I think ACO is doomed to failure. Human fucking agency.

      1. I can’t recall which, but several years ago a health insurer had a plan for diabetics that had much lower rates as long as they attended classes and appointments, maintained weight, etc.

        Of course, those plans are now deemed substandard and thus illegal.

    1. +1 Weedians

  15. Hollywood films ‘do not reflect diversity’ in US

    Hollywood movies are under-representing non-white ethnic groups in the US, a new study says.

    Hispanic actors played only 4.9% of speaking parts in 2013 blockbusters, despite making up more than 16% of the population.

    Black actors were cast in 14.1% of roles and 17% of films had no black speaking characters.

    Bad writing? Or just stupid. Or maybe I don’t understand Hollywood-ese.

    1. Oh, stewardess, I speak jive.

      1. +1 season of Leave It To Beaver.

        1. Sexagenarian beaver? Er, no thank you.

          1. June Cleaver, jive queen.

          2. Thats is whats I’ms talkings abouts!

        2. In a fit of nostalgia I ordered Leave It To Beaver from Netflix a few years back. I watched, maybe, a half dozen episodes.

          It reminded me of the time my son asked, “What the fuck kind of drugs were y’all taking in the 70s that made you think that Saturday Night Live was funny?”

          Times change, so do tastes.

          1. Adventure Time with Finn and Jack will always be good.

            Seriously. Quite possibly the best Saturday morning style cartoon ever made.

          2. Leave it to Beaver reruns were funny after school and you had like 3 channels to choose from.

    2. “Black actors were cast in 14.1% of roles and 17% of films had no black speaking characters.”

      Well, they do represent 13% of the population so isn’t this in line?

      17%? Is that it?

      I just don’t understand people who obsess over this nonsense.

    3. Race / Ethnicity Number Percentage of U.S. population

      African American 38,929,319 12.6 %

      Hollywood movies are under-representing non-white ethnic groups in the US

      Black actors were cast in 14.1% of roles

      Ahem.

      Also, are these people really asking for racial quotas in movies? Really really?

      1. “Also, are these people really asking for racial quotas in movies? Really really?”

        Yes, they have been bawling for racial quotas in everything else for the better part of 50 years. Why not movies?

      2. Also, are these people really asking for racial quotas in movies? Really really?

        Apocalypto didn’t have enough African and Asian actors in it….

        Same with Excalibur and Valhalla Rising.

      3. What do you mean by “these” people?

        /sarc

    4. They also under-represent ugly people, things that aren’t computer generated, the boy not getting the girl, the list goes on.

      1. Asians, the obese, smart southerners, people who can’t knock someone out with a single punch, kids who act their age…

        1. Cars that fall off cliffs and don’t explode are also underrepresented.

        2. smart southerners

          Oh God, don’t even get me started on that show Hart of Dixie…the premise being some hot doctor from New York moves to a small town in Alabama to be the town physician.

          As if the south can’t produce its own doctors. UAB is one of the top medical schools in the country. Oh thanks, you patronizing yankee bitch for leaving your old, swanky life in New York to move to Alabama and teach all the yokels how to wash their hands. No one down here in the ole south hardly ever makes it past the 6th grade. All we need is a little readin’ and writin’ and to do our figures.

          Sorry, that touched a nerve…

          1. Well JEP, no one here will bother you with any of that crap.

            We all know you redneck hillbillies carry guns, too.

      2. ..the list goes on.

        And gingers. Gingers are definitely under represented in movies, as are libertarians and libertarian gingers.

        1. libertarian gingers

          Now you’re just making stuff up.

      3. Steve Buscemi is the counter example. He and the chick who was the bad woman in season 3 of Justified (now the leader of the GR in Leftovers is also in there).

        1. Steve Buscemi isn’t computer-generated?

    5. So then Blacks are over represented? Because they are only 10% or so of the population.

  16. “The Obama administration is considering ways it can bypass Congress to prevent American corporations from relocating overseas to lower their tax bills.”

    I would suggest he sick the IRS on them, but he must first prevent them from leaving in order to do that. What a conundrum.

  17. Chaka Fattah Jr., the son of U.S. Rep. Chaka Fattah (D., Pa.), turned himself in to federal authorities Tuesday as prosecutors unsealed a 23-count indictment charging him with bank and tax fraud.

    Prosecutors said the 31-year-old consultant swindled at least seven banks by constructing a fraudulent picture of his own financial status and that of several companies he created in order to secure hundreds of thousands of dollars in business loans.

    He used much of the money, they said, to pay personal expenses including gambling debts, car payments, and tabs at restaurants and night clubs and then attempted to take out new loans to cover the bank debts his businesses owed.

    When his financial house of cards collapsed, the indictment states, he continued to lie on tax forms and subsequent loan applications to hide his financial distress.

    1. I think he was a “consultant” like you consult with him on how much it costs to get his dad to give you some sweet government handouts.

    2. He has brought discredit to the honored name of Chaka Fattah!

    3. I feel for him

  18. DID YOU KNOW….?

    That this country has a National Center of Credibility Assessment? (aka = Federal ‘Bullshit Detectors’ – and no, they don’t test for the bullshit coming *out* of government)

    …. and that recent tests/studies have shown that people are *less likely to lie to Robots?*

    Science Says So

    Incidentally, that article features an image on the right hand side which was once on the cover of the NYT, and which I got a hi-res copy of for the purpose of painting it. Never finished it, but still have the WIP. the fullsize image is (below)

    1. recent tests/studies have shown that people are *less likely to lie to Robots?*

      Because they will crush us in their cold metal embrace.

      1. Because they will crush us in their cold metal embrace.

        No. Because we know they lack self-awareness for now.

      2. Because they will crush us in their cold metal embrace.

        Won’t they do that anyway if we lie to them or not?

  19. Isrealis want to give Obama Ebola for his birthday

    The Infowars link is just for the insane commenters.

    1. I actually ran into one of the Alex Jones people the other day. Batshit crazy.

      1. I have a buddy who’s big into Alex Jones. He’s fun to party with.

      2. he frequents an establishment here in Austin that I am known to haunt. He comes in with two Ukrainian hookers on his arms and gets shitfaced.

        I am pretty sure at this point, he is trolling

        1. Gawd, I hope this is true! If so, it is full of teh awesome.

          1. it’s 100% true. I’ll snap a photo next time.

            Again, I don’t think he believes 1/2 of what he reports. He is trolling the dregs of society and the low-info crowd. Pays, though

        2. I can respect that.

    2. insane commenters.

      Redundant.

  20. Ukraine rebel-held Donetsk sees ‘heavy fighting’

    Heavy fighting has erupted in a suburb of the rebel stronghold of Donetsk, in eastern Ukraine, local officials say.

    At least two civilians were killed as government forces battled to retake the city from pro-Russia separatists, Donetsk city council confirmed.

    Reports say powerful blasts and shooting were heard in the city.

    1. I hope Groovus is OK.

      1. Me, too. (Posting this in case GM is still at least lurking here.)

        1. Yeah, don’t they have the internet in Ukraine?

          1. I don’t know what happened to him. Banjos said Sloop was emailing him back and forth and one day he just stopped responding.

            1. I had the same experience.

              1. That doesn’t bode well.

                And, really, something non-sinister could have happened to him, such as an auto accident.

                I feel really weird posting this.

                … Hobbit

      2. Doesn’t Sloopy keep in touch with him?

  21. It was called, “waiting for nothing”… and it was a photo taken of Secret Service agents waiting for President Bush’s plane to land

    1. Wish you were here.

    2. Are you sure that’s not an album cover from the 1980s?

      1. Could very well serve as one of those Storm Thorgerson covers, like for Pink Floyd or the Alan Parsons Project.

      2. I thought it was a still from a video. I was waiting for the intro chords to Owner of a Lonely Heart by Yes.

        1. After re-watching the video, RM’s Alan Parsons comment seems like a better fit.

    1. B.A., film studies
      B.F.A., painting
      B.A., Asian humanities,
      Career goal: social Worker
      Career goal: professor of Lutheran theology
      Career goal: film director
      B.A., art history / Career goal: veterinarian
      B.A., psychology
      Career goal: undecided
      B.A., literature and writing

      I think I found your problem.

      1. Also, the Biology degree is not worth that much either. To do something in biology you should at least get a master’s. If you must stop at a bachelor’s then a B.S. is the way to go and not a B.A.

        1. Wait, you can get a BA in Biology?

          What the holy fuck?

          BA degrees confuse me in general, as my school didnt give any, BS and BEng only.

          1. I’m not sure but I think the only reason to get a BA in Biology is to go on to med school.

            Or else you’re rich and want a hobby*. But, if you were rich you wouldn’t be borrowing money to pursue a hobby, would you?

            *See also, majors in Anthropology, Archeology, Art History etc.

          2. Generally the difference is the math, or more specifically the labwork for which the math is required. You can be a competent wildlife manager (etc) with a BA in Bio, but not a competent cell biologist. I’d really like to see many of those BA’s in sci and tech downgraded to AA or AS.

          3. BA in Biology == Chemistry is Hard!

            1. Yeah, I might have gotten cofused between BA and BS.

              I think the one you need for pre-med is a BS.
              So to revise my above, I guess you’d get a BA in biology to pretend that you’d actually gotten a degree. 🙂

              1. Passing physical chemistry is probably the main difference.

      2. Seems like a lot of them have jobs, even if lower level. So why are they living at home with mommy and daddy? Go get share a shithole apartment with some roommates and work your way out of it.

        The real problem isn’t the job market, but that many of these people are not willing to sacrifice the quality of life they’ve come to expect even though they can’t afford it.

        1. ^This, for the most part^

          What struck me is the relative lack of loan debt. Most stories in this matter talk to people with six-figure SL debt.

          The one with $10k, while not a great thing, doesn’t seem all that horrific.

        2. So why are they living at home with mommy and daddy?

          I’ve never understood this attitude.

          It’s a wise financial decision. They can help their parents with their bills and save a lot more money than if they were sharing an apartment. Up until fairly recently (the Boomer generation) it was commonplace for a child to remain at home with their parents until they got married.

          I’m starting to believe that people who hold this attitude just had shitty relationships with their parents.

    2. Wonder if they’re even aware how much the photographer is making fun of them. Probably not as much fun of them as they made fun of the Vo-Tech kid who’s now a fucking plumber or welder raking it in.

    3. Career Goal: librarian. Current Job: library volunteer

      LOL

      1. There are so many MLS holders running around, she will forever be shit out of luck.

        1. Is it a tough job market? I have a good friend who just got his MLS and he seems to be finding work OK. He is in the Boston area where there are a lot of libraries, so maybe that helps.

          1. It’s tight in a lot of locales and certain specialities. Librarians don’t retire and they live forever.

            But MLS holders often need another Masters to get most of the high paying jobs. Someone with an unrelated BA is going to have a bad time.

          2. Yup. Plus they are going to hire the MLS over the people with BA degrees and for essentially the same salaries. Market economics.

        2. I remember making fun of the ones that graduated with those degrees and then were wroking at Mc Ds or something…I am willing to wager they are now in decent higher paying jobs due to the work experience. My former derision for them is now paled by this current crop of moochers.

          1. I think that the problem is less with useless degrees and more with useless people. I focused on the useless arts in college (OK, I did some math and computer stuff that might not be completely useless), but I already had other skills before college. Too many people come out of college expecting that college is all they need to get good work. Which is rarely the case outside of very specialized fields.

            1. Too many people come out of college expecting that college is all they need to get good work

              To be somewhat fair, they have that expectation because, politicians, parents, teachers, etc. have been telling them that for a few decades.

        3. We need more Major League Soccer holders.

          1. NO, what WE need is a 5 deep pitching core and more than three hitters for the Rockies.

            1. Last I checked, they were the last team in all of baseball*.

              … Hobbit

              *Baseball = MLB – DH-ball

    4. Your pictures: Abandoned

      I’d rather look at these pictures. Fewer shitbirds.

    5. Those pictures are OUTSTANDING! Especially the Sarah Van Eck one. Fucking BEAUTIFUL.

      Are they meant to be funny that way?

    6. Another one would probably make more money pretending to be Madonna.

    7. Eric Curran, 23, Wahoo, Nebraska. Degree: B.A., history and religion, Midland University. Career goal: professor of Lutheran theology or history professor. Current job: education assistant at local public schools. Student Loans: $11,000.

      This poor bastard’s doing OK. He doesn’t really belong with those other abject losers.

      1. Career goal: professor of Lutheran theology

        Why doesn’t he become a Lutheran minister?

        1. He’s an atheist.

          1. /facepalm

          2. I wonder if he could become a Methodist or Baptist minister then. You know, just tweak it a little bit.

            1. Why not just go for break and become a professor of Christian theology?

              How much Theology do Lutherans have that other Christians don’t?

              Hell do Catholicism…at least you will have more gods then just the two.

        2. Because you have to listen to whining parishoners for the rest of your life? At least as a prof, you only have to listen to whiners until you have tenure.

        3. Why doesn’t he become a Lutheran minister?

          It be a minister to Lutherans you need actual Lutherans to minister to and since they’re a dying sect…well.

      2. If he is applying or plans to apply for a master of theology at Vanderbilt, Duke, etc and not a Lutheran Seminary then he can accomplish his goal of Lutheran Theology professor. If his grades suck, and he never learned German, French, Greek, and Hebrew he has a lot to make up for and should probably move on to another goal.

        Source: My wife who had the same goal, but didn’t want to give up life and family for a PhD.

    8. The first guy from NC really blew it. There were a ton of public universities in state where you could’ve gotten his BA in Film, and not racked up 80K in debt.

    9. Godammit, SugarFree, stop posting pictures from the Onion. For the last time: it’s a humor site!!

    10. The only person I don’t hate is the Lutheran theology professor wannabe. His debt seems manageable and he’s at least working in the right field for his goals.

      Liberal arts majors in and of themselves are not the problem, it’s a lack of vision and strategy for turning one’s interest into a job.

    11. That’s a study in poor decision making skills.

    12. What’s the big deal? We’re becoming more sophisticated (i.e. like Europe) with multi generational households.

      1. Soon we can get rid of those Gaia-murdering water heaters as well.

    13. Okay, A number 1: Don’t allow yourself to be referred to as “Mikey” by an internet site with a viewership of more than 20. B) Fat drunk and looking like a ginger Otter is no way to go through life, son.

    14. I knew there was a reason I stopped playing guitar; loosers tend to gravitate to it.

  22. Alabama, Georgia and Florida back the Eternal Word Television Network’s challenge to the Obamacare contraception mandate:

    http://www.ewtnnews.com/cathol…..p?id=10482

    1. Hey, I’m here commenting on your comment.

      1. Maybe you could try stamp collecting? I understand it’s more interesting than obsessively stalking a single commenter.

        1. Why don’t you guys just bang and get it over with?

          1. I wouldn’t even be *tempted* unless “Tonio” is a pseudonym for 1970s/1980s Morgan Fairchild –

            http://imgc.allpostersimages.c…..rchild.jpg

            1. So you’re what happened to Dunphy?

              1. Uh… Jinx, you owe me a Coke???

            2. If you were a surfing, martial arts expert, Seattle-area cop, you’d already have had her.

              1. Don’t forget benching 500lbs.

          2. You guys should do the 36 questions to immediate intimacy/friendship thing linked up thread

        2. obsessively stalking a single commenter

          It’s not stalking until he’s standing outside your window with a boombox.

          1. In your eyes, JEP, I am complete.

  23. Gaza conflict: Truce holding after Israel withdraws

    People in Gaza have been returning to see what is left of their homes, as Jon Donnison reports

    A 72-hour humanitarian truce is holding in Gaza, halting a four-week conflict that has claimed more than 1,900 lives.

    Israel and Gaza militants maintained fire up until the truce started at 08:00 local time (05:00 GMT).

  24. The Obama administration is considering ways it can bypass Congress to prevent American corporations from relocating overseas to lower their tax bills. Drones?

    His fuckwit supporters love throwing the “but he’s signed fewer executive orders than any other president” argument in everyone’s face. Even if the economic impact and severity of these orders aren’t taken into account, he’s still acting like that asshole in grade school who winds up a punch and then stops an inch from your face. “Dude, I wasn’t actually going to hit you!”

    He may not go through with it often, but he is constantly bringing up the idea up. But remember, we’re all just a bunch of ratfuckers for comparing him to a dictator.

    1. Well, the opposition is actively trying to impeach him for standing up for the common man. Don’t be hatin’.

    2. And his fuckwit supporters would love it if he actually signed those XO’s.

      The reason that he’s always bringing them up is that that’s all he thinks needs to be done.

  25. “The Obama administration is considering ways it can bypass Congress to prevent American corporations from relocating overseas to lower their tax bills. Drones?”

    Precisely.

  26. The Obama administration is considering ways it can bypass Congress to prevent American corporations from relocating overseas to lower their tax bills.

    Nationalization. The Ministry of Plenty will have this great nation back on track in a matter of decades.

  27. Stem cell scientist found dead in apparent suicide

    A Japanese scientist involved in a scandal over discredited stem cell research has been found dead at his laboratory in an apparent suicide.

    Prof Yoshiki Sasai, 52, was cleared of direct misconduct by an investigation, but faced criticism for his oversight.

    Scientists around the world have expressed regret at losing a renowned researcher and concern at the “witch-hunt” that followed the revelations.

    1. If we could only get our politicians to choose the honorable way out.

      1. Don’t get my hopes up.

      2. I’d be happy if they’d just resign and disappear from public view. People who commit suicide are just assholes.

        1. I think in Japan there is life insurance that pays out if you commit suicide. Depending on the details of his specific situation he may have been doing it for the benefit of his family.

        2. People who commit suicide are just assholes.

          Normally, I’d agree, but I would make an exception for the dishonored Japanese scientist. Hari-kari, like, say, tentacle porn, is one of those things that is just more common in their culture.

  28. A U.S. Army major general was killed at a training facility by a gunman dressed in an Afghan army uniform. More than a dozen others are injured, and the death toll is expected to rise.

    That’s a hell of a lot of major-generals to get taken out in one whack, but I suppose we do have an ungodly over-supply of brass so we can afford the loss.

    1. I bet that’s the first American General killed in action since Vietnam.

    2. Was he the very model of a modern major-general?

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zSGWoXDFM64

  29. The French spy who wrote The Planet of the Apes

    Before the newly released Dawn of the Planet of the Apes film, there was a long franchise going back to the first Apes movie – the 1968 classic with Charlton Heston. But before that there was the book.

    …snip

    But there’s more. It turns out that Pierre Boulle was also the man behind another cinema great – none other than The Bridge on the River Kwai. A book on the face of it so quintessentially British – about a British colonel and his conception of duty and honour. How on earth could it have been written by a Frenchman? And how did that same Frenchman then move from wartime adventure to the world of science fiction for his second Hollywood triumph?

    1. “It turns out”? I knew that, but then again I’m one of those freaks who prefers old movies.

      And perhaps Boulle was able to move from one genre to another by being a good writer?

      1. …being a good writer?

        A rarity in Hollywood. I wish I could write that well.

        Or, and this is more me, ‘I wish I could write them words more gooder’.

        1. Any number of famous writers worked as screenwriters. The movie Beloved Infidel starring Gregory Peck and Deborah Kerr is about F. Scott Fitzgerald’s time in Hollywood.

          1. I know Rand was a screenwriter. Did she work on anything interesting?

            1. Did you know the Fountainhead came from Skyscraper, a movie she worked on for Cecil B. DeMile?

      2. I don’t really think its that hard to substitute sentient apes for any other oppressive group and write “Spartacus”. “Bridge” and “Planet” are extremely similar escape from bondage narratives.

    2. Nice article. I guess I’m unusual because I knew he wrote both books.

      1. I didnt know, but they are two of my favorite movies.

    3. Hmm. I would have guessed “Bridge” to be Nevil Shute or James Clavell. (Clavell was at Changi, Shute I think lived through the East Asian Prosperity Sphere as well.)

    4. Huh, I had The Bridge over the River Kwai in like 5th or 6th grade and I was totally unaware it was the same guy.

      1. The best connection-you-probably-didn’t-know: Cassius Marcellus Coolidge invented “comic foregrounds,” those paintings you stick your head through for a photo at a carnival, and also did the famous “Dogs Playing Poker” paintings.

  30. Former Anti-GMO Activist Says Science Changed His Mind

    At the Oxford Farming Conference in Britain, Lynas apologized for helping “to start the anti-GMO movement” and told his former allies to “get out of the way, and let the rest of us get on with feeding the world sustainably.”

    “When I started off as an anti-GMO activist, it was very much an ideological position. I was scared of the new technology, you know, it just seemed to be messing with the basic building blocks of life. But what happened in the sort of 10, 15 years since then, is that I have written a couple of books on climate change, and I really fell in love with the scientific method as a way of establishing knowledge about the world. It eventually dawned on me … that I was actually being anti-science in the way I was talking about GMOs, and that there are many ways a stronger scientific consensus on the safety of GMOs than there is about the reality of climate change.”

    1. It eventually dawned on me … that I was actually being anti-science in the way I was talking about GMOs, and that there are many ways a stronger scientific consensus on the safety of GMOs than there is about the reality of climate change.”

      This should put him in the front-running for science’s highest honor–inclusion on the Monsanto Collaborators kill list.

    2. It’s a bit depressing how surprising it is when you encounter someone who has really examined their beliefs like this.

      1. Says says the corporate stooge for Big Big Bang.

    3. I’m puzzled as to how researching climate change sold him on the scientific method. Climate is a science where oil paintings have been used in peer-reviewed glacier studies, for god’s sake. OIL PAINTINGS!

      Believe what you will about the conclusions of climate research, but bastion of good science it is not.

    4. is that I have written a couple of books on climate change, and I really fell in love with the scientific method as a way of establishing knowledge about the world. It eventually dawned on me … that I was actually being anti-science in the way I was talking about GMOs

      Just wait until he finds out Climate Change is anti-science as well.

      1. He’s pretty much there. Once you get to the idea that there is known and unknown and a rigorous standard for differentiating the two, with a gray area for “believed, but not rigorously proven”, it all starts to fall apart. It is wonderful. I can believe that it is very possible that human activity can and does influence the climate, WITHOUT believing that (a)it is the primary factor (b) it may even be an effect worth addressing and (c)the proposed solutions would effectively address the problem presented. Very freeing.

        1. I can believe that it is very possible that human activity can and does influence the climate, WITHOUT believing that (a)it is the primary factor (b) it may even be an effect worth addressing and (c)the proposed solutions would effectively address the problem presented. Very freeing.

          You don’t need to add that part in. It is like adding in a covet that your recognize cops do have a job that is important like catching murders when you are criticizing them for killing a whole family during a no knock raid at the wrong address. It can be assumed.

  31. Kitchener: The most famous pointing finger

    A recruitment poster of the stern-eyed Lord Kitchener has become a defining image of World War One. A clever illustrator’s psychological trickery has spawned a thousand imitations, writes Adam Eley.

    It is perhaps history’s most famous pointing finger.

    I like this finger better.

    1. The facial hair is kind of a tie, though.

  32. The Obama administration is considering ways it can bypass Congress to prevent American corporations from relocating overseas to lower their tax bills

    It’s like the mask isn’t even on anymore.

    1. Isn’t this pretty Banana Republic behavior or am I being too paranoid?

      1. Isn’t this pretty Banana Republic behavior

        No you are misrepresenting tactics taken from the communist East German STASI by claiming this is just misguided 3rd world stupidity rather then planned mechanized tyranny.

        You are under paranoid.

        1. So Cloward-Piven?

  33. Also the Libertarian Moment is certainly upon us when Obama can get away with saying such things and Reason magazine reports on it in a very blas? fashion.

  34. You have got to be shitting me…

    How Big Tobacco Is Ripping off the Poor in Addition to Killing Them

    But as Stanton Glantz, a leading tobacco control researcher at the University of California, San Francisco, said in a phone interview, “For all the crocodile tears that the tobacco companies cry over the issue of unfairly hurting poor people, the fact is that the risks, the health costs, and the economic burden of smoking disproportionately fall on low-income individuals.”

    Furthermore, according to Glantz, tobacco companies often raise the wholesale price when cigarette taxes increase, both because smoking rates do decline as a result and the companies need to maintain their cash flow and because the tax is a useful way to obscure the fact that they’re raising prices.

    “All of these arguments have been ginned up and promoted by the cigarette companies with extreme hypocrisy,” Glantz continued. “They complain about the tax, and then leverage it so that people get mad at the government instead of them. It’s completely disingenuous.”

    citation needed motherfucker. Your ass has been caught lying more times than Obama.

    1. One of the other specters taxation opponents often raise is that higher cigarette taxes boost the market for interstate tobacco smuggling. A black market for tobacco would, of course, undermine states’ ability to collect tax revenue and to control sale to minors.

      But despite these fears, there is little hard evidence that this kind of rampant smuggling is actually happening. Granted, smuggling is an illegal activity so it is difficult to find accurate studies on the subject. But much of the research reporting dramatic spikes in smuggling rates was directly funded by the tobacco industry.

      Because the non-industry research has been so impeccable. Tell us all about second-hand smoke Glantz.

      Cigarette taxes aren’t the only way to raise revenue for hard-pressed municipal budgets, and they won’t prevent all smokers from kicking the habit. But when politicians, columnists and “non-partisan” think tanks are spewing the exact same talking points as RJ Reynolds and Philip Morris, it’s clear something isn’t entirely right. And when a multimillion-dollar industry is disseminating and financing propaganda that prevents school districts and infrastructure projects from receiving funding

      Blow it out your ass.

      1. Wow, what an…*interesting* perspective on Stanton Glands’ part. Whatever he’s smoking must really be working, because it’s transported him to a totally different reality, where incentives don’t work the same way as in our universe.

      2. Needs more choke-holds.

      3. But despite these fears, there is little hard evidence that this kind of rampant smuggling is actually happening. Granted, smuggling is an illegal activity so it is difficult to find accurate studies on the subject. But much of the research reporting dramatic spikes in smuggling rates was directly funded by the tobacco industry.

        “There’s no evidence, except all of the evidence which I’ve decided to dismiss out of hand because it doesn’t confirm my biases.”

        I want to go out and by a pack of Camels now, just because I know that Stanton Glantz would hate me for it.

  35. You’re doing it wrong: Asshole Danish Eurotards visit Canada for the cities, get butthurt about “car culture” and lack of bike lanes.

    1. Fucking bike lanes.

    2. I’m disgusted that ‘story’ got on the National Post site.

      1. Try being an American and watch Fox News or read the NY post.

        You don’t know what disgust is.

    3. FFS I’m a city boy myself but I’m not an asshole about it. Mostly.

  36. I told you all; it’s inevitable.

    “In an echo of 2008 ? when Ted and Caroline Kennedy backed upstart Barack Obama over Hillary Rodham Clinton ? members of the Kennedy clan have been quietly wooing Massachusetts Sen. Elizabeth Warren and encouraging her to throw her hat in the ring, sources tell me.”

    http://nypost.com/2014/08/03/k…..y-in-2016/

    1. I have a hard time seeing how Fauxcahontas is going to get far on an “Obama was not leftist enough” platform.

      But then I never thought Obama would get reelected.

  37. Speaking of old movies, the wife* and I finished Star Wars last night. Starting on Empire tonight.

    She thought the medal scene at the end was cheesy.

    *Its 4 months next Tuesday, but that word still freaks me out.

    1. I think it’s so douchey to refer to someone as “the wife”, “the husband”, “the gf/bf”. It makes me want to smack people with a glove.

      1. I believe it’s what in modern parlance is referred to as a “microaggression”.

      2. I like it.

        It is as if they are a force of nature.

      3. I think it’s so douchey to refer to someone as “the wife”

        The wife and I were married 42 years ago today.

        Bite me.

        … Hobbit

        1. Did you do this endorsement?

          http://youtu.be/SW6FrrAS62E (NSFW language)

    2. The ring will eventually only burn when you have impure thoughts.

      1. But Im always having impure thoughts.

    3. You Know Who Else liked the Medal Scene?

    4. Relationships are about give and take. Are you watching some girly movies she made you watch to balance things out?

  38. Sounds like one hell of a plan to me dude.

    http://www.AnonWorld.tk

    1. God, I’m loving the little bastard more every week.

  39. Someone was touched in a nonsexual way at an atheist conference.

    Shut…
    Down…
    Everything!

    Seriously though, read that account. My favorite part:

    I was offered the room normally used for registration. I began to shake as I attempted to pet or otherwise interact with Sagan, the service animal of an American Atheists staff member. I kept the door locked to keep others away from me, and I became exceptionally tense as someone began knocking on the door, threatening to intrude into my safe space. I texted my staff member contact, and thankfully the knocking eventually went away.

    I quickly learned I had been right to want to hide in my hotel room, as I was a disaster. I was explicit with my friends about being in a bad spot, but that I couldn’t talk about it. (One of the friends present was a witness who hadn’t been interviewed yet and didn’t yet know I had filed a report, so I didn’t want to “tamper” with her.) Two friends (one male and one female) tried to comfort me by touching my arm or my back, and I responded by literally shouting at them to”DON’T TOUCH ME!”Everyone kept asking “how can I help?” over and over again. It quickly reached the point that I shouted “Enough!” because it felt like my friends were attacking me with empathy. The closest analogy I can provide is feeling like a cornered, wounded animal.

    1. It is almost as if humans are evolved to be religious and the lack of religion makes people fucked up and unable to cope with daily social interactions.

      1. It is almost as if humans are evolved to be religious and the lack of religion makes people fucked up and unable to cope with daily social interactions.

        …can’t tell if serious.

        1. I understand what Corning means. Lots of atheists are pretty screwed up.

          1. I am an atheist and i know I am screwed up.

            But I am pretty sure being an atheist and feeling the need to go to a convention full of atheists you have to be epically fucked up.

      2. Thousands of fingerfucked alter boys would like a word with you.

    2. Wow. Any idea what “the battery” might have been?

    3. Also, this:

      I called my brother (who of course answered the phone with a good-natured “Happy Easter!” as he’s still Christian and didn’t know I was in crisis)…

      I have as little use for Jeebus as anyone, but I can’t imagine ever being bothered by someone saying Happy Easter

    4. And also, you don’t pet the fucking service dog.

      1. What about the anxiety service dogs? I thought petting them was the whole point?

        1. Is that a thing? And do people take them around to events to share calming love with all comers?

          1. Yes it’s a thing:

            http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/P…..ervice_dog

            And at least some of them are intended to be public use:

            http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Therapy_dog

    5. Why are you concluding it was “a nonsexual way” when the linked article says the exact opposite?

      1. The linked article doesn’t say it was sexual battery, but that he was touched in an “intimate” way, which could be taken to mean “in the manner of a close friend”.

      2. Because his partner says that it wasn’t his butt or genitalia, and that we really need to expand the definitions of sexual battery.

        1. Why do I get the feeling this whole story is a troll? Either that, or this guy has just outed himself as a real-life Mr. Frond

          1. It’s a skepchick’s boyfriend.

            1. Ugggh…I’d rather it be Frond.

    6. WTF?! I was at a party at our apartment complex last year and one of guys who lives there, who is gay, put his arm around me (I’m a straight male) and then slid down and grabbed my butt. I just moved, discreetly, out of his reach. I did not fucking meltdown. Told the girlfriend about it later and we had a good laugh.

      So, maybe, this account was a little more than that, but how do you meltdown so far you can’t do your job?

    7. She describes the battery as “ouching me repeatedly in an intimate manner without my consent.”

      Some people are touchy-feely, and they like to pat people on the shoulder etc., and there are some people for whom that is totally unacceptable. I’m curious about the specifics of the “battery”. I suppose it’s not my place to judge someone else’s reaction to unwanted contact, but it does seem some people over react.

      1. Wait, I assumed it was a woman, which obviously displays my paternal, whatever, but it’s a fucking dude! What a pussy.

        ” I began to feel very angry, and thought of the semi-private support group I would likely use to process my feelings on the incident. However, I realized that timing and my public travel schedule would make it easy for anyone within that group to connect the dots with American Atheists’ conference. If I was going to talk about this outside my immediate circle of trust,

        1. Jesus H Christ!

          A guy screamed out, “DON’T TOUCH ME!”? Even if this other person touched your junk, get the fuck over it.

          Homophobe!

    8. This person wants to pet a service animal (which I thought you weren’t supposed to do), and then freaks out because friends tried to comfort them by touching their arm and back? They expressed so much empathy that it made them feel like a cornered animal? The lack of self-awareness is amazing.

  40. Prediction: the Obama administration will expand FATCA, which introduced the “exit tax” on people expatriating from the US if they are judged to have done it for tax reasons, to cover corporate “inversions”.

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