Brickbat: Aaaarrrggh
Officials in Douglas County, Colorado, placed two schools on lock down after receiving reports of a "suspicious party." The "suspicious party" turned out to be several individuals dressed as pirates celebrating Talk Like a Pirate Day on their way to a nearby Krispy Kreme, which was offering free donuts to anyone who dressed like or talked like a pirate.
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Actually, it was lock out not lock down. And by lock out they mean that the SWAT team locked themselves out until the pirate threat was deemed safe.
If seeing a kid plinking an airsoft gun prompts some fright wig to dial 911, it is understandable that a gang of cutthroats would fill the whole community with terror.
How were authorities not aware of an event sponsored by a doughnut shop?
They knew where the investigation would lead.
+1 glazed
I know they were free, but who would want Krispy Kremes? There are better doughnuts out there.
That constitutes blasphemy in the South.
What about apostasy in the Middle East?
Few donuts are better than free donuts.
Y'aaarrrggghhh Mateys, let us set sail for Tim Horton's!
Hand over all yer Timbits, ye scury dogs!
Dunkin' Donuts or Tim Horton's or GTFO.
Dunkin makes terrible doughnuts. Absolutely horrible.
Apparently they make okay coffee, that's why people seem to go there. I'm not a coffee drinker myself, though.
I understand. You have never had a warm Krispy Kreme.
Bless your heart.
"Oh, Krispy Kreme, we can never stay mad at you. OKAY LONG JOHN SILVER, STOP RESISTING! STOP RESISTING! Hey guys, after this some batter-fried fish sounds pretty good, huh? STOP RESISTING!"
Yet more evidence that the terrorists have already won.
The level of fucking stoopid, particularly regarding "suspicious characters at school", has reached critical levels.
Last year we had the dumbasses in some SE Mich district lock down because A SOLDIER IN UNIFORM HAD STOPPED BY HIS FORMER SCHOOL TO SPEAK TO AN ADMINISTRATOR. A fucking lockdown. Because...scary, suspicious character dressed as a soldier. CAUSE HE'S A SOLDIER.
I could see having a lockdown cause someone's dressed as a cop, cause those crazy mofo's will KILL you.
But a fucking 18th century pirate. OOOOOOOO! SCARY!
We're over the edge, it's all done, kiss it goodbye. As some guy says - the terrorists have won.
I knew it was all over a few years ago when the high school in Kittery Maine went on lock down when two .22 cal cartridges were found in the school. School was evacuated and every leo in the area responded, including some forest police. Total pants shitting over a couple of .22's. I figure some kid was plinking over the weekend, realized he had a couple cartridges in his coat pocket, and ditched them, knowing full well that if caught with them, the "adults" would go apeshit.
The worst was all the self congratulation afterwards. The cops and the administration were proud of panicking over a couple of bullets.
*** facepalm ***
Just require the THX 1138 civilian uniforms already and be done with it.
We need to ban the PTA. All those Nannies sitting around together plotting tyranny makes me uncomfortable.
Now, if ye'd played by the rules--the GHOST PIRATE rules--nobody woulda' got locked down!
Why can't people realize - it's "arrrr," not "aaaargh" or "Y'aaaaargh."
Didn't you take Pirating 101?
http://talklikeapirate.com/piratehome.html
"Sir, I believe your donut shop is violating the discrimination laws by offering free donuts only to people in pirate uniforms? What about, say, people in police uniforms? By the way, I've noticed several code violations in your establishment, but I'm not sure whether or not we have time to report them."
Ladies and gentlemen, my current home county. Sigh...
I absolutely refused to move to highlands ranch. My wife said 'Let's just look' and I said I will leave if we move to highlands ranch. Reggie Rivers book about Highlands Ranch, "My wife's boyfriend and the Highlands Ranch HOA" is about as spot on as one can get.
Fuckin' hipsters and your fuckin' Talk Like a Pirate bullshit. Fuck.
Cast ye bobbles aside me lass before I run ya through with me cutlass.
Baubles.
Ye.
(Probably wit', but that's debatable.)
Do It Right. Matey.
Um ... some of us might like to see Kristen "cast her bobbles".
Just sayin' ...