A.M. Links: Clerical Error Freed Colorado Prisons Chief Shooting Suspect Early, Destroyer Moves off Korean Peninsula, Connecticut Lawmakers Agree on Gun Control Bill

Credit: Rubenstein/Flickr

• The man suspected of killing Colorado's prisons chief was released four years early thanks to a clerical error. 

• An American destroyer has moved off the Korean peninsula in response to recent threats from North Korea. 

• Connecticut legislators have agreed on a gun control bill that would implement some of the strictest gun control regulations in the country if passed. 

• It looks like Caroline Kennedy will be the next U.S. ambassador to Japan. 

• Legislators in Uruguay and Colombia are expected to vote on same-sex marriage bills in the next few weeks. 

• Teens are not having that much sex. 

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Comments

[Fist of Etiquette]

Connecticut legislators have agreed on a gun control bill that would implement some of the strictest gun control regulations in the country if passed.

Why won’t they just regulate murder? WON’T SOMEONE THINK OF THE CHILDREN?

[Rich]

Substantial summary of the bill

Get your revocable “gun eligibility certificate” and your revocable “ammunition eligibility certificate”, then read this and weep. You don’t need an eligibility certificate for that, yet.

[Counterfly]

If you weep when reading a bill supporting gun reform, you’re obviously mentally ill.

CERTIFICATES REVOKED.

[Rich]

Actually, even if you just read it, you’re ill.

Why does anyone *need* to do that?

[Counterfly]

For the warm thrill of satisfaction of knowing that Democracy Works!

[Loki]

For the warm thrill of satisfaction of knowing that Democracy Works!

I thought that came from passing the bill so that you could then find out what’s in it, not reading it beforehand. Or is that what causes tingles down your leg? Or is the “warm thrill” caused by the stream of urine flowing down your leg that happens when you realize what kind of people are running this country?

[mr simple]

Any good citizen will just trust that their betters in government have their interest at heart and will do what is best for them.

[WTF]

These new laws would have totally stopped Adam Lanza. Totally.

[Rich]

“We *have to* DO *SOMETHING*!!”

[WTF]

Actually, this is a perfect illustration of the fact that these laws are designed to fail, so that an excuse is provided for even more restrictions. An ‘assault weapons’ ban was in place in Connecticut already, and Lanza’s AR was compliant with the ban, so now of course they must restrict the allowed weapons even further, based on arbitrary criteria which will fail to stop any crime, which will then justify even more restrictions, etc. Lather, rinse, repeat until the Second Amendment is completely nullified.

[Rich]

Hence the “shall not be infringed” part. 8-(

[Shine on, Nikki Diamond]

A new state-issued eligibility certificate would also be needed to purchase any rifle, shotgun or ammunition under the legislation. To get the certificate, a buyer would need to be fingerprinted, take a firearms training course and undergo a national criminal background check and involuntary commitment or voluntary admission check.

And my former state will soon be even worse than my current state! Woohoo!

[deified]

Wherever you go things turn to shit.

[Shine on, Nikki Diamond]

I think not. CT has gotten worse since I left, and IL has improved since I’ve been here.

[deified]

Hundreds of teens mob pedestrians on Chicago’s Magnificent Mile.

[VG Zaytsev]

You’re racist for posting that.

[Gray Ghost]

I’m very surprised this hasn’t gotten larger play in the MSM. A mob beat and robbed crowds of shoppers in some of the most expensive shopping real estate in Chicago, the Chicago PD herded the thugs onto the trains instead of taking them to jail, and nothing else happened? CNN wouldn’t stop talking about it for weeks if it was a white mob attacking a majority black or Hispanic neighborhood.

[itsnotmeitsyou]

Besides the fact that it would be “racist” to report on minority violence, it also shows what happens in areas where people aren’t allowed to defend themselves.

Could you imagine this happening in Texas or some other well armed area? The criminals would either not even consider it an option, or if they did, it would stop the first time someone had a gun pulled on them for being a thug.

[Shine on, Nikki Diamond]

Sadly, in Chicago it’s completely business as usual–especially on a warm weather weekend. It’s been really nice out since Friday, and you can completely predict these events based on the weather.

The mob issue is pretty out of hand. It started small, in downtown-but-not-right-downtown areas, and got much bigger, and closer to the most-trafficked parts of downtown. I’ve never seen it happen, thank goodness, but it seems like a complete shit show and I have no idea why they can’t do something about it, because it’s 100% dependent on mass transit.

[Ted S.]

It sounds as though wherever she leaves, things turn to shit.

[LTC(ret) John]

STAY HERE NIKKI, DON’T GO!!!

[Shine on, Nikki Diamond]

It’s cool, I’m staying. For a while at least.

[mr simple]

Will you be our Mary Poppins and stay until we’re ready for you to go?

[Shine on, Nikki Diamond]

I could totally get into that, as long as I don’t have to take care of children.

[mr simple]

Considering how bad Illinoise has always been, it would seem to be more accurate to say things really go downhill after she leaves.

[LTC(ret) John]

We don’t have much room to go further down – she must stay or we will beat CA and LA and NJ by a country mile.

[Loki]

I just “love” how they are so careful to point out twice in the first 3 paragraphs that this is a bipartisan bill.

“Don’t just blame the Democraps for this shit, the Rethuglicans supported it too! It’s bipartisan don’t you know!”

[bostonaod]

BIPARTISAN!

STATEWIDE REGISTRY!

FIRST IN THE NATION!

will it work? who cares!

[db]

The thing is, they *do* regulate murder. You can get a license or permit to do anything. Want to pollute? Get a permit from the EPA. Want to own a machinegun? Get a background check from the ATF. Want to engage in securities fraud? Get a stockbroker’s license. Want to get a chance to kill? Become a cop.

The fact is, the government regulates and legalizes all kinds of activities that are otherwise illegal or immoral (no equivalence implied). The government is the enabler of countless crimes. All you have to do is follow the rules and “fraud” becomes “permitted trading practices”; “pollution” becomes “permitted industrial activity”; “murder” becomes “going home safe at the end of your shift.”

[deified]

It looks like Mark Sanford is going have to take on Stephen Colbert’s cunt sister in November.

Now THAT’s entertainment.

[Palin's Buttplug]

Why is she a cunt?

I just heard of her last month.

[Red Rocks Rockin]

And “counterfeiting money” becomes “quantitative easing.”

[Fist of Etiquette]

The man suspected of killing Colorado’s prisons chief was released four years early thanks to a clerical error.

He killed the head of prisons because he was mad about the prison’s incorrect paperwork? That doesn’t make sense.

[Way Of The Crane]

He applied for a cell by himself and got a double, resulting in massive rectal trauma on a daily basis for the remainder of his incarceration. You’re damn right someone’s gonna pay for that misfiled application.

[Counterfly]

Wasn’t this a movie with Mr. Mom and one of Antonio Banderas’ ex-wives in it?

[Fist of Etiquette]

It looks like Caroline Kennedy will be the next U.S. ambassador to Japan.

FINALLY someone gives this poor woman a job in goverment.

[PS]

And the trifecta…

[Fist of Etiquette]

I prefer natural hat trick. I assumed everyone was being nice letting me get a few in today since I wasn’t here yesterday for Links.

[Counterfly]

Most people probably had the same problem I did with the first page. The one you paid the interns to create.

[Fist of Etiquette]

Paid the interns? What a novel idea.

[Counterfly]

I consider you not sending them cock pics to be a form of payment.

[Fist of Etiquette]

Not sending them cock pics? What a novel idea.

[Counterfly]

Well doing it your way works once, I guess.

But my way is the gift that keeps on giving.

Like a female kitten.

With herpes.

[Loki]

The one you paid forced the interns Cambodian orphan child slaves to create.

FTFY. And turn in your top hat and monocle.

[Fist of Etiquette]

Maybe my Filipino manservant Ernesto is an elite hacker. At least he knows how to close italics tags.

[$park?]

Surprise, surprise. Dr For-the-children is on the libertarian side of marriage.

It never made sense to have state or federal government intrude into personal affairs by giving it the power to sanction and legitimize the loving commitment of one individual to another. That is a matter for the adults involved, who should share their intentions and vows in a ceremony with family, friends and any religious institutions they choose (or not), then sign any financial documents they see as being appropriate and, perhaps, exchange rings. End of story.

If two adults are mature enough to get married, they should be mature enough to envision and codify how they will deal with their finances, should that marriage end.

[Counterfly]

Please that’s got to be the smallest minority outside of me in Liberia.

How will anyone be married without the government recognizing it? That’s like not even a thing.

Also, I had to look, and his last name is “Ablow”.

[robc]

How will anyone be married without the government recognizing it?

The same way they did for the first 1000 or so years of western culture?

And more and more people are openly espousing this position. Amash in the House, for example.

I was just 20 years early, I guess.

[Counterfly]

More like 120, ’cause it ain’t happening. At least not in this country.

[Fatty Bolger]

Yeah, it ain’t happening. Too many applecarts would be upset, and for what? Adherence to libertarian principles? That’s a thing for about 5% of the population, tops. Nobody else cares.

[robc]

Also, I want to stress something that $park? said:

THAT is the libertarian position on marriage. Period. Full Stop.

If you hold a different position, it isnt the libertarian position.

[$park?]

It is one of the few points that I agree with libertarians on.

[Marshall Gill]

But Rob, it’s not fair! You act as if the Libertarian position should be the one on the side of Liberty, instead of fairness.

[robc]

Equality is a good thing.

Liberty always trumps equality, not that I think they ever are really in conflict.

[Citizen Nothing]

So if the government says black folk can’t drive on its roadz, then the only libertarian position is for the abolition of roadz. Yep. You guys are hilarious.

[LTC(ret) John]

The way to stop government from intruding on liberty, is to stop having government intrude on liberty.

[Citizen Nothing]

So while I fully support the complete and total privatization of teh roads, until we reach that point, as a libertarian I must support laws that would allow the use of teh roadz by all, equally. Why the fuck is that so hard with marriage?

[$park?]

The world is never changed by people who just take what they can get.

[Citizen Nothing]

Ah. So by supporting a move toward equality (if not liberty), then I’m abandoning liberty. Yeah. Seems as if there’s something else at play concerning this particular issue. I wonder what it could be?

[Jordan]

Gee, life sure would be better if the Volstead Act was still on the books, since alcohol is so highly regulated.

[$park?]

So by supporting a move toward equality (if not liberty), then I’m abandoning liberty.

Is that what I said?

Be happy with compromise if it’s good enough for you. Knock yourself out. However, real change only happens when there is a group of people with “extreme” views to force the issue along.

[Citizen Nothing]

The thing about letting black folk start driving on government roadz is that then you get more of a demand for government roadz and the taxes that build them and the corrupt contractors and don’t get me started about how the cops use the roadz and government drivers’ licenses and the gold fringe on the flag and whatnot. It’s not that I don’t like black folk. Really. It’s because it’s the only possible libertarian argument concerning roadz.

[$park?]

It’s not that I don’t like black folk. Really. It’s because it’s the only possible libertarian argument concerning roadz.

Is this supposed to be some strange way of saying that people who want the government out of marriage are racists? Are you saying that people who want anti-discrimination laws removed are racists? Or is this just the pile of gibberish that it looks like?

[bostonaod]

Why the fuck is that so hard with marriage?

You get rid of the driver’s license and next thing you know Rover has stolen your pickup to go elope with an underage labradoodle.

[VG Zaytsev]

If you hold a different position, it isnt the libertarian position.

Nonsense.

What could be more libertarian than using government force to subsidize and legitimize your personal living arrangements?

[Rich]

If two adults are mature enough to get married, they should be mature enough to envision and codify how they will deal with their finances, should that marriage end.

HAHAetc.!

[Way Of The Crane]

It looks like Caroline Kennedy will be the next U.S. ambassador to Japan.

GODZILLA!!!!!!!

[Rich]

ROR

[Bobarian]

lacist

[generic Brand]

Yay! Let’s send a person who has little to no knowledge of a culture to become our ambassador to it! Genius-level stuff, really.

/hyperbore

[deified]

Columbia University hires convicted terrorist as professor

^^^ An even worse hiring decision ^^^

[Enough About Palin]

“I mean, I’m sure that Timothy McVeigh might have gotten into library management or something if we had given him the chance, but we rightly decided to give him the needle instead”

I’m offended at the dig at Nutrasweet’s profession. It’s so uncalled for.

[VG Zaytsev]

The even worse decision was opening a School of Social Work.

[John]

http://www.washingtonpost.com/…..story.html

Every time I think liberals can’t get more stupid and go further down the road towards state sanctioned murder, they prove me wrong. And not how everything liberals do or want to do, no matter how vile, is always cloaked in “science”.

[Restoras]

You know who else liked to cloak his policies in science?

[Rich]

Mr. Wizard?

[LTC(ret) John]

Thomas Dolby?

[Counterfly]

KHAAAAAAAAN?

[gaijin]

Ira Glass?

[gaijin]

or Flatow even

[entropy]

Bill Nye.

[Bobarian]

Ming the Merciless?

[$park?]

They’re just stupid because they’re women.

[Ptah-Hotep]

Why do white men buy, sell and manufacture guns for profit; attend gun shows; and demonstrate for unrestricted gun access disproportionately more than people of other ethnicities or races?

Do they really? Are there stats to back this up? I see mostly white men at gun shows when I go, but I live in CO.

[John]

I know a few black gun nuts. They manage to offend pretty much the entire human race.

[Ptah-Hotep]

I know a few black gun nuts. They manage to offend pretty much the entire human race.

I resemble that remark.

[Counterfly]

You monster.

[Ptah-Hotep]

You monster.

Yep. Your worst nightmare; a black man with an attitude and a gun :-}

[Enough About Palin]

So you live in my neighborhood then?

[Fluffy]

This is a borderline racist answer, I know, but perhaps it’s because white men have the longest cultural history as actual citizens.

Most other ethnic groups were either kept as slaves in relatively recent historical time, or emigrated to the US from countries where they may as well have been slaves, given their lack of status as citizens.

What is generally called white male “privilege” can really be seen as nothing more exotic than the simple belief that you’re a citizen and the expectation that you can back that belief up, with violence if it comes to that. It just LOOKS weird if you’re used to being a fucking donkey, or a Canadian or something.

[Shine on, Nikki Diamond]

It just LOOKS weird if you’re used to being a fucking donkey, or a Canadian or something.

This answer represents the pure awesomeness of Fluffy. Seriously, I love this perspective. It explains very well my almost-total incomprehension at “privilege” speak.

[entropy]

Bullocks.

If you want a borderline racist answer I will give you a better one.

Because black people don’t register their guns.

[Loki]

Are there stats to back this up?

Statistics are RACIST. So no, of course not.

[Way Of The Crane]

Imagine if African American men and boys were committing mass shootings month after month, year after year.

You mean like in Chicago?

[Rich]

Come off it, WOTC. Those aren’t mass shootings because they’re not done with assault weapons.

[LTC(ret) John]

Not “mass shootings” just a massive amount of shootings!

[Zeb]

Well, they are generally not mass shootings because more than 4 people (or whatever it is) are not usually killed at once. But that raises the question, why is it worse when people get killed all at once than when it is spread out over more time? Way more people are killed in pretty much any big city every year than are killed in mass shootings.

[Counterfly]

Please, if it doesn’t merit an Anniversary Retrospective in soft focus, it’s not an issue.

[Rich]

why is it worse when people get killed all at once than when it is spread out over more time?

Um, really, it’s not.

[Zeb]

Well, that was sort of my point.

[Rich]

Right. More coffee!

[Jordan]

Because white people.

[Way Of The Crane]

We have a winner!

[Bam!]

There are weekends where 20 people will be killed in Chicago. And it’ll happen week after week.

[Restoras]

And yet, that is exactly what is going on in the inner cities, but because the guns are not legally acquired it doesn’t count. The logic, she is flawless.

[NeonCat]

I’m just going to leave this here. If Air Disasters recreation of it was right, this dude was one cold-blooded bastard.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/P…..light_1771

[Enough About Palin]

I always wondered what happened to Lamont Sanford.

[AuH20]

It’s weird isn’t it, that what should be the ” gun control doesn’t work!” Example Got turned into “gun violence is a major problem” example

[Zeb]

Holy shit, I think that is the worst thing I have ever read. Talk about lazy collectivism. And where is the supposed science? All I see is made up bullshit.

[Pro Libertate]

I assume they just took some “scientific” justifications for slavery or segregation and updated them.

[Zeb]

Pretty much. Lazy racism. They just decide that all racial groups are real groups and not arbitrary classifications and that all members of said groups are responsible for the actions of the most insane or criminal members of their groups. And apparently the groups all have their own leaders too. Who can apparently do something about the behavior of the worst members.

I’m kind of distressed that anyone that awful and/or stupid exists.

[$park?]

Lazy racism.

Good band name. Now let’s hear from Jigaboo and the Lazy Racists.

[Loki]

With Moolie Mike on drums, Spic Sanchez on bass, Cracker Jack Carter on lead guitar, and of course Kyle the Kike on vocals.

[T]

Kinky Friedman already worked that schtick.

[Ska]

Kyle is too nasal to be a good lead singer. Throw a wop in there with their olive oil voice and guineau charm.

[EDG reppin' LBC]

Ching Chong Ting-tong Ling Long on triangle.

[Bobarian]

The ‘Me-So-Honey’ Girls on back-up?

[robc]

Imagine if African American men and boys were committing mass shootings month after month, year after year.

They are, they just do the mass shootings spread out a little more, so that it looks like 1 or 2 at a time.

[robc]

BTW, that is also where I stopped reading.

[itsnotmeitsyou]

Yeah, me too for the most part. I skimmed the article to see what “science” there was to be had.

Imagine my surprise when I found none at all. You didn’t miss much. It’s pretty much blah blah, evil white men. White men are evil. blah blah WHITE patriarchy. Blah blah kill whitey.

[Rasilio]

That is truly one of the of the dumbest things I have read in a very long time. They can’t even get their basic facts straight in that they basically call Nidal Hassan “white” which he would not be considered from a racial perspective (he certainly was not part of the “white male patriarchy” they are inferring runs things) and they conveniently leave out The Va Tech shooter who was Asian.

Further nobody is committing mass shootings “month after month, year after year” because on average they only happen about once every 2 years.

Further I would be willing to bet that even with the predominantly white committed mass murders that the annual total body count is higher for black males than it is for white males.

[Zeb]

” I would be willing to bet that even with the predominantly white committed mass murders that the annual total body count is higher for black males than it is for white males.”

Seems likely. But where I (and I assume pretty much everyone on here) differ from the fucks who wrote the piece is that I don’t think that any other black people who didn’t murder anyone have anything to discuss or answer for.

[T]

Yeah, but the body count is generally African American males.

Let’s face it, the entire history of Africa post-colonialism proves the thesis that nobody cares when black guys shoot each other.

Chicago and Detriot are just confirming data points. Even these two women don’t seem to care. They’re just in it to blame whitey.

I can’t figure out if it’s the soft bigotry of low expectations or what.

[Loki]

I would be willing to bet that even with the predominantly white committed mass murders that the annual total body count is higher for black males than it is for white males.

That’s ruining the narrative. The narrative is that white males are TEH EVUL, and that we’re all just pissed off over having a black president, because, err, RACISM!!! Uhm, WHITE MALE PRIVELEDGE!11!!! Uhh, Uhh, PATRIARCHY!!!11!!!1!!

[JW]

White guys really makes those Hutus look like pikers.

[Raston Bot]

This is pure ad hominem, so enjoy:

Charlotte and Harriet are identical twins who live near each other in Oregon. They are active in their communities, serving on boards of public and historic parks, schools, and neighborhood and community organizations. They enjoy long walks, camping, commuting by bicycle/walking/bus, organic gardening, cycling, dancing, reading, needlework, backpacking, and cuddling with beloved cats and dogs.

That is some sad fucking shit right there. ROFLMAO!!

[Loki]

If you made up people like that for a book you’d be accused of stereotyping and probably wouldn’t be able to find a publisher.

Publisher: “These Charlotte and Harriet characters need to be re-worked. They’re too much like stereotypes so no one will be able to identify with them because they’re not realistic enough.”

[Zeb]

They’re like characters from a Portlandia sketch.

[Raston Bot]

“live near each other” means bunk beds.

[bostonaod]

If life were equitable, white male gun-rights advocates would face some serious questions to assess their degree of credibility and objectivity. We would expect them to explain:

What facets of white male culture create so many mass shootings?

Why are so many white men and boys producing and entertaining themselves with violent video games and other media?

Why do white men buy, sell and manufacture guns for profit; attend gun shows; and demonstrate for unrestricted gun access disproportionately more than people of other ethnicities or races?

Why are white male congressmen leading the fight against gun control?

Because life is not, in fact, equitable.

[PS]

Teens are not having that much sex.

The upside of the obesity epidemic.

[Zeb]

Unless you are a teen.

[PS]

What’s a little NAFLD when you get to stop moral corruption?

[Fist of Etiquette]

Chubby girls tended to be more willing to put out, as I recall.

[Way Of The Crane]

Been hanging out with the girls in the drama club I see.

[itsnotmeitsyou]

Chubby girls are more enthusiastic. They’re just happy to be getting laid so they put in more effort. Hot chicks just sorta lay there because just being hot is “enough”.

I’ll take a fat girl over a stick figure any day of the week.

[Virginian]

If she’s just laying there, you’re doing it wrong.

[Way Of The Crane]

It cost extra to get’em to roll over.

[itsnotmeitsyou]

Dude, gimme a break. I only had $50 on me. You don’t get the special things like “moving” and “moaning” for less than $75.

[Way Of The Crane]

Damn this economy!

[Counterfly]

Nothing tastes as good as being chubby feels.

[Ted S.]

Did you get to whip your wife yesterday?

[Virginian]

That is an awesome tradition.

[Eduard van Haalen]

It is wild and crazy!

[PS]

Hody, hody, doprovody,
dejte vejce malovan?.
Ned?te-li, malovan?,
dejte aspo? b?l?,
slepi?ka V?m snese jin?.

No, my son got a poml?zka, no girls to beat with it, though.

[Ted S.]

No picture of your son with his poml?zka?

[PS]

Heh, no.

[Mickey Rat]

I hope you used the correct implement, and watch your tukus today:

“Traditionally, boys throw water over girls and spank them with pussy willow branches on Easter Monday, and girls do the same to boys on Easter Tuesday.”

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dyngus_Day

[Matrix]

Ain’t nobody got time for that!

[John]

It is really true. In my neighborhood there are a few fairly attractive thin suburban moms. And all of them have these chubby little teenager daughters. They have better bodies at 45 than their daughters do at 16. Talk about the decline and fall of civilization.

[robc]

However, two of the hottest women I have ever known were chubby teens who were smoking hot by college age. The weight got reapportioned to the right places (also, they both worked at it).

[John]

Maybe there is hope.

[Counterfly]

Don’t be a sucker.

[Enough About Palin]

Gloria Vanderbilt had a chubby teen phase.

[Rich]

Ditto. Wow, just wow.

[Virginian]

This is honestly pussified parenting in general. One of the reasons I’ve struggled with my weight is my mom won the battle with my dad, so I was not forced to play sports, I was allowed to eat whatever I wanted.

Sometimes, moms need to look at their daughters and say “honey, you aren’t going to make any prime catches with that body.”

[Ptah-Hotep]

Sometimes, moms need to look at their daughters and say “honey, you aren’t going to make any prime catches with that body.”

Um, I don’t know about your mom, but my wife makes sure our daughter knows that she is not some “object” to be used as “bait” for some “catch.” Our daughter is very independent, and knows she can provide for herself. I think that is more important.

[Virginian]

Sorry, as someone who grew up being the fat kid, the worst fucking thing parents can do to their kids is, especially their girls, is let them get fat. It’s shitty enough for the fat guys, but fat girls get all kinds of social cruelty.

Gentle, or even stern instruction with regards to weight is far less damaging to self esteem then the daily teasing and humiliation the fat kids go through.

Not to mention the health aspect.

[Ptah-Hotep]

Gentle, or even stern instruction with regards to weight is far less damaging to self esteem then the daily teasing and humiliation the fat kids go through.

I agree with you. The health aspect is very strongly impressed on our daughter. It is also a matter of self control. She does body weight exercises (pushups, pullups, squats, bridges, etc) to keep in shape. Girls are cruel, more so than boys.

[Bobarian]

“Girls are cruel, more so than boys.”

Young teenage girls are fucking monsters to each other.

[Tejicano]

And when (at what age) do you believe they start being really nice to each other?

[Restoras]

If you aren’t physically attractive the odds go against you in the game of life. To the extent you can shape yourself into a person more physically attractive then you are only doing yourself a favor.

[Counterfly]

These old greaseballs may not look it, but believe me; these are the men who secretly control Hit & Run. Because they managed the Trollters Union. The Trollsters Union was who you had to go to in order to borrow money to build a casino. And no one got approved for a loan from the Trollster’s pension fund unless these guys in the room knew they were going to get their little suitcases.

It’s Troll Free Tuesday!

Feel free to respond to trolls, it’s a great way to compensate for a tiny package, if you know what I’m saying, and I think that you do!

[Zeb]

At what point do daily reminders not to respond to trolls become trolling?

[$park?]

Now.

[Fist of Etiquette]

I enjoy them. Maybe you all are trollosexuals, too!

[Fatty Bolger]

I’m shocked and disgusted by the rampant and undisguised trollophobia on this comment board! I hope you all realize how offensive this is to the TMSB community.

[Joe M]

No one else asked about this. Trolls, _____, Spammers, Bots community?

[Matrix]

Ohio county declares war on the Amish

[Drake]

I hope the Amish kick their asses.

[Rich]

With raw milk catapults.

[Marshall Gill]

Remember the Amish school shooting several years ago. Miriam and Barbie Fisher were something like 10 and 12 and they asked to be shot first in the hopes that they would save the younger girls, which they did.

I wouldn’t want to fuck with a culture that produced courage like that, it won’t end well.

[Bobarian]

According to this documentary I saw on Cinemax, when an Amish goes bad, they go REALLY bad.

I think it was called Banshee.

[DJF]

“””””Our rules at the health department are to prevent problems before they happen, not to react to them,” “”‘

So there is actually no harm being done but there might be.

[Matrix]

If only they felt the same way about government policies.

but then again, there usually is harm that follows with those.

[NeonCat]

The Ohioans will wake up one morning with their houses completely surrounded by barns with no doors, built in the middle of the night by silent Amish assault carpenters?

[entropy]

“Our rules at the health department are to prevent problems before they happen, not to react to them,” he said.

Aww jeez.

[Rich]

Robot swarms trained to fetch and carry

“Bring me those ruby slippers!”

[DJF]

Can they make the robots look like flying monkeys?

[Rich]

Yo-ho, oh ee oh, yo-ho, oh ee oh ….

[entropy]

It’s actually “Oh we love the old one”. Not oh ee oh wee oh oh – because that’s jibberish.

[Counterfly]

I doubt it. Have you seen the way Baum’s family hoards that copyright?

Plus, I want bees, so I can finally have a good bee cannon.

[LTC(ret) John]

How about dogs that shoot bees out of their mouths?

[$park?]

Only if they can fart wasps too.

[Rasilio]

Yeah but it is finally falling out of copyright protection, hence why Oz the great and powerful got made

[mr simple]

Tachikoma?

[John]

http://freebeacon.com/blog/oba…..of-a-jerk/

It is interesting how small things really do reveal people’s character. When the whole “choom gang” story broke, anyone who had been around the stoner culture realized that Obama being known as a bogarter of joints reflected very badly on him. Well, having been around the rec center YMCA pick up basketball culture, being an unskilled chucker reflects just as poorly on his character. It is okay but not great if a guy who can shoot is a ball hog. But nothing is worse than the guy who sucks and won’t passup a shot.

[Palin's Buttplug]

Obama is a whitish nerd, you Santorum loving troll. Go back to Free Republic.

[heller]

*slurp slurp slurp slurp slurp slurp slurp slurp slurp slurp slurp slurp slurp slurp slurp slurp slurp slurp slurp slurp slurp slurp slurp slurp slurp slurp slurp slurp slurp slurp slurp slurp slurp slurp slurp slurp slurp slurp slurp slurp slurp slurp slurp slurp slurp slurp slurp slurp slurp slurp*

[Don Mynack]

Barry blowing the layup at the 55 second mark was priceless. This vid is awesome!

[Loki]

FWIW I suck at B-ball too. Especially now, but even in HS I knew I sucked. So I always looked to pass first and shoot if only REALLY wide open. The irony is I actually got pretty decent and passing and ball handling (IOW, point guard stuff) which actually made me semi-valuable in pick up games (I never went out for my HS teams because I didn’t really care enough to bother).

The point is, sometimes accepting your limitations is actually a good thing. Obama doesn’t seem to ever recognize that he even has limitations. At anything.

[John]

It is okay to suck. A lot of people suck. But what is not okay, is to suck and shoot like you have skills. That is a serious party foul.

[Bam!]

I read that URL as “Free Bacon”. I was disappointed.

[itsnotmeitsyou]

I feel for you, man. There are few things that are worse than an undelivered promise of free bacon.

[Fist of Etiquette]

Legislators in Uruguay and Colombia are expected to vote on same-sex marriage bills in the next few weeks.

“You’re a guay, I’m a guay, let’s colombia-ine together to make a marriage.”

[Ptah-Hotep]

You’re a guay, I’m a guay,

So a pair of guays?

[Fist of Etiquette]

YOU GO TOO FAR.

[Counterfly]

Your anger Belize your enjoyment of the pun.

[db]

To win a battle of puns takes not a sprinter, but an Honduras runner.

[Rich]

*** holds nose and exclaims “Peru!” ***

[$park?]

I Bolivia those Honduras runners stay home when it’s Chile.

[Ted S.]

Belize navidad,
Belize navidad,
Belize navidad,
Prospero a?o y felicidad.

[BakedPenguin]

All right, everyone just Chile.

[EDG reppin' LBC]

May he co and pun no more.

[LTC(ret) John]

That one hurt, EDG, I mean almost physically hurt.

There should be some sort of award for that – and I would throw it at you.

[$park?]

The Golden Shuriken?

[LTC(ret) John]

The Silver Harpoon?

[itsnotmeitsyou]

So, you’re saying he should be punished?

[LTC(ret) John]

*icy stare*

And so should you.

[itsnotmeitsyou]

Glad you caught that one. I was a afraid I was going to have to usa more direct approach.

I still think EDG deserves a smack on djibouti for that joke, but maybe we should just thai talking some sense into him first.

[Matrix]

Woman sues clinic over failed abortion

Baby was born alive healthy. She had sought an abortion for medical reasons.

[Restoras]

Did the abortion clinic kill the unhuman spawn or let it live? Does it count as a human being?

[Way Of The Crane]

An Ohio woman is suing an abortion clinic after she says she made the painful decision to terminate her pregnancy because her life was in danger…

But she didn’t die due to child birth so she should be happy that both she and her baby are alive and well because her only reason for the abortion was that her life was in danger right? Right?

[thom]

That kid is going to have issues.

[Way Of The Crane]

Issues? the poor bastard is going to have entire subscriptions.

Ladies and gentlemen, may I present to you the next Jeffery Dahmer.

[$park?]

But she didn’t die due to child birth so she should be happy that both she and her baby are alive and well because her only reason for the abortion was that her life was in danger right? Right?

Judging by the end of the article, I would say that’s exactly right.

Knights says she considers her daughter her “miracle” baby, saying she does not like to think about what would have happened had the abortion been successful.

[Way Of The Crane]

Obviously someone needs to pay for this.

[entropy]

The northeast Ohio clinic in a court filing denied Ariel Knights’ allegations that doctors were negligent and failed to successfully perform the abortion she sought, eventually leading to the birth of her healthy baby daughter.

You know, being pro-life, I am not so hot to ban abortion outright thinking that will stop it.

But they could at least follow the laws we actually have. If the baby lived, how can anyone argue that it was not past the point of viability? It’s obviously viable. There’s absolutely no reason (apart from eugenics) to kill it, you could deliver and put it up for adoption. Aborting babies past viability is illegal. No one gives a shit. None of the politicians or prosecutors have the balls to do anything about it.

[Shine on, Nikki Diamond]

That’s not what happened anyway. The baby was born an indeterminate period of time after the failed abortion, after continuing to gestate in the womb. The woman “learned about a week after the abortion procedure that she still was pregnant,” which can happen, and she’s suing because she spent the rest of her term afraid for her life. She was supposed to go back for a second abortion procedure but did not want to go to the same place and could not find an alternative place to go after the first one was botched.

[Zeb]

Was it named Charlie?

[Matrix]

Damien

[Counterfly]

All we know is that It’s Alive.

[John]

http://twitchy.com/2013/04/01/…..n-thingie/

Wow. If you write an article about a religious holiday, might you not want to be profoundly ignorant about said holiday? Is there anything the NYT is not ignorant about?

[Night Elf Mohawk]

The Easter Culture War spreads. Or something.

[John]

It is not really a war on anything. It just shows how stupid they are. If they can’t get that right, what do they get right?

[Palin's Buttplug]

Fuck Easter. It is just another pagan holiday co-opted by statist theocrats.

[Matrix]

Easter was observed by Christians before Christianity was a state religion.

But the 1st and 2nd Century Christians celebrated Passover.

[robc]

Easter is when it is because of Passover, even if the mid-early church decided to calculate it slightly differently (and independently of) the Jews.

And the eastern orthodox calculation is different than the western calculation.

I like years like this year when Passover and Easter coincide. It just feels right to me.

[Matrix]

Easter never falls on the Passover. It can be before or after, but never the same day.

[robc]

Passover lasts for 7 (or 8) days.

[Matrix]

Correction: It never falls on the 14th or 15th of Nissan, which is the first of Passover.

[Eduard van Haalen]

Sometimes it falls on the 15th of Toyota

[Loki]

It never falls on the 14th or 15th of Nissan

…which used to be the 14th or 15th of Datsun.

[Matrix]

Dammit, that was supposed to be Nisan, not Nissan.

[Zeb]

Maybe so. But if you are going to write about the most important holiday of a major world religion in what was once a good newspaper, you should at least get the basic plot right.

[LTC(ret) John]

Tolerance

Have a “Coexist” bumper sticker too?

[Rasilio]

I wanna get the one with all the Sci Fi spaceships

[mr simple]

The many ways to coexist.

SFW t-shirt

[DJF]

They think being ignorant about a subject is the same as being impartial.

[Restoras]

This actually makes the most sense. I am also going to steal this.

[Way Of The Crane]

Is there anything the NYT is not ignorant about?

Um… that’s rhetorical, right?

[robc]

It is the celebration of Jesus’s resurrection from the dead, not his resurrection into heaven.

What does “resurrection into heaven” even mean? Shouldnt the writers at the NYT have a better vocabulary than some engineer?

[Matrix]

They must be confusing it with ascension.

[robc]

Im well aware. But considering that is, what, 40 days after Easter (I should probably know that), that doesnt make things better.

Sorry state of modern editors. I writer making that mistake shouldnt happen but can. The editor letting it thru?

[robc]

Hey, I was right, 40 days!

[Auric Demonocles]

Spoiler: it’s always 40 days.

[robc]

Unless its 3 or 7.

I was pretty sure I was gonna get that one right.

[Enough About Palin]

Did you know there used to be 37 holes in the speaker part of a standard rotary telephone?

[db]

“It’s a transmitter. A radio for speaking to God!”

[Counterfly]

Christfag.

[thom]

Doesn’t Christianity espouse the theory that most people are “resurrected into heaven” in that they die, and then are resurrected…in heaven?

[robc]

I dont think Ive ever heard used that term used.

And its never considered a resurrection, in that the soul/spirit/whatever doesnt die.

There is the resurrection talked about during the end times, but that is different.

[tarran]

Ross McKitrick has a great summary of the train wreck that is the Marcott paper that is worth reading in full:

The modern record is sampled continuously and as a result is able to register short-term trends and variability. The proxy model… is heavily smoothed and does not pick up fluctuations below a time scale of several centuries. So the relative smoothness in earlier portions of their graph is not proof that variability never occurred before. If it had, their method would likely not have spotted it.

What made their original conclusion about the exceptional nature of 20th-century warming plausible was precisely the fact that it appeared to be picked up both by modern thermometers and by their proxy data. But that was an illusion. It was introduced into their proxy reconstruction as an artifact of arbitrarily redating the end points of a few proxy records.

In recent years there have been a number of cases in which high-profile papers from climate scientists turned out, on close inspection, to rely on unseemly tricks, fudges and/or misleading analyses. … There’s denialism going on all right ? on the part of scientists who don’t see that their continuing defence of these kinds of practices exacts a toll on the public credibility of their field.

[Jordan]

You’re going to make Russell cry.

[kinnath]

Ross McKitrick has a great summary of the train wreck that is the Marcott paper….

I thought Ross was finally going to give that Amanda bitch what-for.

[Enough About Palin]

Me too.

[Loki]

But that was an illusion. It was introduced into their proxy reconstruction as an artifact of arbitrarily redating the end points of a few proxy records.

In recent years there have been a number of cases in which high-profile papers from climate scientists turned out, on close inspection, to rely on unseemly tricks, fudges and/or misleading analyses

B-b-but… CONSENSUS!!!111!!! TEH SIENS IZ SETTLD!!111!!!!11! DENIER!!!!111! HERETIC!!!!!!!!111!!!!

[Loki]

The man suspected of killing Colorado’s prisons chief was released four years early thanks to a clerical error.

But that’s unpossible, I have been assured time and again by our progressive “friends” that government bureaucrats are all uncorruptable TOP. MEN. who simply don’t make mistakes.

[LTC(ret) John]

“An American destroyer has moved off the Korean peninsula in response to recent threats from North Korea.”

Wow, a whole single (small) ship. That will show them!

I would rather we publicly ignore the NORKS and make any preparations quietly.

[tarran]

Actually, the modern destroyer is a far more capable ship than the WW-2 variety. The Fitzgerald, the destroyer in question, is an Arleigh Burke class destroyer.

For AAW, it carries the Aegis radar system which is capable of detecting a wide variety of targets – don’t let the fact that its operators once confused an Iranian passenger jet for an Iranian F-14 fool you. 🙂

I also would warrant that its VLS is packed full of Tomahawk missiles. It could have as many as 90 available, which could do a world of damage to targets in North Korea in very short order.

It’s anti-shipping weaponry is pretty good as well, and it could probably take on much of the North Korean navy singlehandedly and win (although that would be one battle I wouldn’t want to participate in).

It’s the diplomatic equivalent of parting one’s jacket slightly to give a potential adversary a view of the butt of a Desert Eagle nestled in the shoulder holster.

BTW, I am increasingly agreeing with John that the kid is fucking dangerously inexperienced and that these assholes are backing themselves into a corner. I think there is likely going to be a war.

[WTF]

Wow, a whole single (small) ship. That will show them!

Probably because destroyers are equipped with the Aegis Ballistic Missle Defense System.

[tarran]

Not to mention, I suspect most of the Tomahawk equipped submarines in the pacific fleet have been unobtrusively making their way over to the Sea of Japan.

[Restoras]

Obama is not very good at bluffing. He will do nothing in the event of a Nork attack on one of its neighbors.

[tarran]

You’re right, Obama will do nothing.

But he doesn’t matter, since he has very little control of the U.S. government, especially its security forces.

The U.S. military and the state department, on the other hand, are populated by officers that expect to do something, and something pretty drastic.

Obama’s lacks even Jimmy Carter’s testicular fortitude, so he won’t get in their way.

[mad libertarian guy]

Obama is not very good at bluffing. He will do nothing in the event of a Nork attack on one of its neighbors.

No, he isn’t. But that isn’t the point. The point is that he SHOULDN’T do anything in the event the Norks attack a neighboring country because it’s NOT OUR FUCKING JOB TO PROTECT OTHER COUNTRIES.

[Isaac Bartram]

Actually, it is “our job” to protect S Korea.

You may, as do I, not like our country’s treaty obligations but they exist and they are legally binding.

These obligations will not disappear until we elect a president who is prepared to disentangle us from them.

At the very least we need to tell our “allies” that if they want this kind of robust projection of power they need to start footing the bill with both materiel and manpower.

[LTC(ret) John]

THAT is the quiet sort of prep I think should be going on.

[tarran]

The subs don’t have air search radar (or if they do, it is pretty weak tea and useless for picket duty). The destroyer also can put Tomahawks in the air at a much higher rate.

It’s presence puts the Norks in a bind. If they leave it alone and attack southwards, those Tomahawks are going to devastate their bases (and homes of the upper leadership). So any attack will require getting a mission kill on the ship.

The destroyer’s defenses make that a dicey proposition. My guess is that it would take a significant commitment of their navy and air force to pull it off. And that attack would require so many forces that they couldn’t pretend it was anything other than a purposeful attack.

And, frankly, if north Korea attacks a U.S. warship, given all the nasty reports about their death camps etc, the U.S. populace will be fully behind a war of obliteration. IF the diplomacy is handled right, the Chinese would probably stand aside.

And the upper cadre of the party would be headed for being hung from lamp-posts.

[JW]

I’m still trying to understand how this is our problem.

South Korea isn’t a bunch of pig farmers in the 1950’s any longer and communism containment stopped being our foreign policy some time ago.

[db]

I agree it’s not our problem, but when NK falls and the true extent of their totalitarian hellhole and prison camps is laid bare to the world, the wailing about “blood on our hands” will likely exceed the (richly deserved) criticisms major world governments received for looking the other way at the Final Solution.

Also, you’re right–we’ve gone full circle from opposing communism abroad to promoting socialism at home.

[Matrix]

We also have to look at the fact that we are economically tied to the region. Allowing it to destabilize would be economically difficult for us. We are tied to China, South Korea, and Japan economically, and in the case of the latter two, militarily.

[Matrix]

Problem is, in most situations, a preemptive strike would be prudent. You don’t want until the enemy is ready or even initiates the attack. He has stated his intent on attacking us, and we should take it seriously.

The wrench in the gears is China. If they were not backing the NORKs, we would have already put this idiot in his place (6 ft under). We cannot risk war with China. But if he invades the South first, China will not interfere with our retaliation.

Because of that, we have to wait until he attacks us first.

[Bobarian]

Getting China out of the way is the only real issue.

The ROK Forces will stomp a mud-hole in the NORK Forces. Capability wise, it is on par with US Forces vs. Iraqi forces in Desert Storm.

[Matrix]

A lot of my coworkers who were stationed in SK paint a different picture. they pretty much state that if the NORKs invaded, there would be nothing we or the South could do from them taking Seoul. And our forces would likely be pushed back to the southern coast.

It would definitely be a short lived victory for the NORKs, but within 72 hours, they would have much of the south until we are able to reorganize and bring in reinforcements. Then they’d have hell to pay.

[Bobarian]

You’re correct about Seoul, because all of it is within 30 miles of the border. But I doubt they get much further than that.

ROK conventional forces are a whole world better that NORK, and we’d be raining precision guided death everything of any strategic value. NORK ability to conduct force projection is limited to how far and how long they can maintain an artillery barrage.

[Brett L]

A lot of my coworkers who were stationed in SK paint a different picture. they pretty much state that if the NORKs invaded, there would be nothing we or the South could do from them taking Seoul

Set up food distribution centers on the border?

[Tejicano]

By coincidence I have been on the destroyer which is patroling NorKor right now. This one ship probably has more firepower than any one of half the nations on this globe. It could decapitate the leadership while putting a huge dent in the invasion itself.

However, this current “emergency” is pretty much political theater for the masses. If and when the NorKors shut down the SouKor factories just off the DMZ and send the staff home THEN you know the countdown has started (hint: it hasn’t happened yet).

[deified]

President Obama is a bully who sucks at basketball.

[John]

See above. Nothing worse than the guy who sucks and is a ball hog.

[Zeb]

Yeah. Unfortunately, that is exactly the sort of person who wants to be president.

[Ted S.]

Be careful about pointing out when things have already been linked. People might start making fun of you for doing it. 🙂

[Counterfly]

John already has a ‘thing’, so no one is going to bother him for horning in on your territory.

[NoVAHockey]

I play against a guy like that. without fail, he carries the puck into the zone and cuts at the top of the circles to attempt a shot from the top of the slot. every single time. Going on 4-5 years. all you have to do is get in his way, and he’ll refuse to pass and turn it over.

[Counterfly]

What the hell are you even talking about?

[NoVAHockey]

Canadian porn

[LTC(ret) John]

Forget it NoVA, its Liberatown.

[Art Vandelay]

You play hockey with Ovechkin?

[LTC(ret) John]

Nice.

[sarcasmic]

‘I was too scared to do yoga with Jennifer!’ Brooklyn Decker on Ms Aniston’s intimidatingly perfect body

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/…..-body.html

[Way Of The Crane]

You’re Late!

[Zombie Jimbo]

In the second photo, Decker may have given us the perfect dumb blonde look.

[sarcasmic]

Emma Watson copies Julia Roberts’ Pretty Woman cut-out dress for her sexiest EVER shoot

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvs…..shoot.html

[Counterfly]

Sexiest EVER so far!

[Zombie Jimbo]

It would have greatly increased my enjoyment of the Hogwarts ride at Universal Studios Park yesterday if they would have had this version of Emma Watson.

[Restoras]

OMG i’llbeinmybuuuunnnnk.

[JW]

Some strapping young lad is having a very good life, schtupping her.

[Enough About Palin]

Has she been bird hunting with Dick Cheney?

[sarcasmic]

Graffiti artist found dead of ‘accidental asphyxiation’ after hanging off 16th floor of Sacramento high-rise

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/new…..-rise.html
Good riddance.

[itsnotmeitsyou]

Another contender for the Darwin Awards!

[sarcasmic]

Martha Stewart makes pot brownies with Snoop Dog.
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/new…..wnies.html

[Counterfly]

Doesn’t consorting with known felons violate one of their paroles?

[Kaptious Kristen]

I’ve really warmed up to ol’ Martha Fucking Stewart over the last few years. She’s does really well in the comedic “straight man” role, because I think pretty much everything flies over her head. And her latest cooking show is teh awesomez.

[Raston Bot]

Martha is my goto for recipes. and she got rolled by the govt and put in jail.

[itsnotmeitsyou]

That’s “the man” for you. We can’t have any uppity women being successful and running an empire. That would upset the patriarchy.

[db]

The Feds go after Martha Stewart because she’s teh kriminal maztermindz but Oprah is squeaky clean.

[itsnotmeitsyou]

Oprah is just plain scary and a freak of nature. They sent lawyers after her once, the few parts they got back served as a warning to those who would come after. Even Satan would pale at the thought.

[Brett L]

Martha taught us an important lesson. “I don’t recall” is the only possible answer to give to Federal investigators when asked about conversations.

[Enough About Palin]

Martha taught us an important lesson. “I don’t recall” is the only possible answer to give to Federal investigators when asked about conversations anything.

FIFY

[Auric Demonocles]

Teens are not having that much sex.

They are probably too busy trying to find alt-text.

Or Warty has just gotten slower in his old age.

[LTC(ret) John]

Why not both?

[Fluffy]

The guys killing those DAs are dumbasses.

I’m sure they’ll be able to trace these guys back to defendants with a grievance.

I’m thought for a while that if these prison Nazi gangs weren’t made up of total shit for brains morons, they’d start assassinating DA’s who had nothing to do with their cases. They have to figure that every prosecutor, judge and prison official is their enemy, and not just the particular guy who pissed in their Cheerios. They have national organizations, so if they just send all their guys out in their own local areas, they can really get their revenge trip on “Throw Momma from the Train” style.

But no, they’re too fucking dumb for that.

[John]

Yes. They don’t even make good terrorists. The key to terrorism is the randomness of it. Let every DA in America worry about being killed, not just the ones who go after Nazis. They are stupid. But if they were smart, they wouldn’t be Nazis.

[Counterfly]

They’d be Nazis. They’d just be in Brazil.

[Tim]

Nazis! Guns! Murder! The Left is going to cum in its pants.

[Ted S.]

You mean Strangers on a Train. 🙂

(Strangers on a Train is on TCM tonight, and really deserves a shout out.)

[Counterfly]

That’s a total rip off of Throw Momma From the Train!

Worse than when Rear Window ripped off the Simpsons episode that ripped off the Shia Labeouf vehicle Disturbia.

[entropy]

Wait, are these assholes seriously neo-nazis?

I assumed it was the cartels doing it, and the press was just blaimed neo-nazis because teabaggers.

[Gray Ghost]

My secret suspicion is that the killings are done by a rival to the Aryan Brotherhood, so as to induce the authorities to crack down, and thereby remove their competition. But it’s probably AB, proving the adage that we should be glad that criminals are usually too dumb to stay out of prison.

The comments in our local paper are interesting reading, with most readers treating these with the same hysteria predicted by the Joker in The Dark Knight, while a few point out how many people’s lives these prosecutors have ruined and that karma can be a bitch.

[Not a Libertarian]

https://reason.com/24-7/2013/04…..nlibertara

So the NYC Republican/Libertarian/OdinWorshipper Councilman has been arrested

[Brett L]

Monster. It’s bad enough when the reason staff does it. Why would anyone else link to 24/7 links?

[John]

http://moelane.com/2013/04/02/…..hy-boudin/

Columbia hires convicted terrorist who spent 22 years in prison for robbing an armored car and killing to cops. But remember it is the tea baggers who embrace violence.

[Palin's Buttplug]

WASHINGTON (Reuters) – Mortgage finance giant Fannie Mae (FNMA.OB), helped by the U.S. housing market’s continued recovery, posted an $17.2 billion annual profit for 2012 on Tuesday, its largest ever yearly gain and its first in six years.

http://finance.yahoo.com/news/…..46917.html

So they will only owe us about $90 billion now.

They could make it up in two years.

[Palin's Buttplug]

Also, the Fed’s massive FNMA investment is looking good and will reduce the deficit sharply.

[Sevo]

“They could make it up in two years.”

And you might grow a braincell!
Both doubtful

[itsnotmeitsyou]

What, Sevo? Didn’t you know that 17.2 x 2 = 90. I mean, that’s just basic liberal math.

It equals because we say it is. Forced equality is the only way ANYTHING is equal. Jeez, man. Get with the program.

[Palin's Buttplug]

Read the article. They have a one time $59 billion tax gain coming.

[Matrix]

Another Georgia town requiring gun ownership

And naturally the proglodytes spew venom at the Tea Party and “RETHUGLIKANS”.

See, it’s okay to force people to buy health insurance with a penalty if they don’t. It’s not okay to tell people they have to buy a gun, and exempting people who don’t want to.

[Kaptious Kristen]

Is Basil Marceaux the mayor there?

[Kaptious Kristen]

I had to have my first-ever pet euthanized last night (19-year-old putty tat). Any tips for dealing with this, besides massive amounts of booze? And the dog seems to have gone off the deep end – he humped the crap out of his lobster toy for about 3 hours last night (normally he only does about 30 minutes) and slept on the edge of the bed, facing the doorway (not his normal sleeping posture).

[Zeb]

I usually try to mourn for pets before they die. You can be pretty sure they are going to die during your lifetime, so you might as well deal with it before it actually happens instead of acting all surprised.

I am aware that this may not work for many people.

[John]

But you always hope they make it just a little longer no matter how long they live.

[Kaptious Kristen]

I was in no way surprised – it has been a roller coaster ride of a year with that cat.

[Zeb]

Sorry if I came off sort of dickish. That’s just how I think about and deal with death. I’m sort of the same way with people (though certainly more emotional when a person I know dies). All of the happy memories are already in the past, so the actual event of death isn’t so traumatic (to me, so far).

Maybe I’m cold and weird, but I think it is a healthier way to approach it.

[$park?]

I’m with you, Zeb. I’ve been around cats my entire life and probably saw more than 20 to the ends their lives. It does sound dickish to say “They’re just cats” but, well, they’re just cats.

[John]

I am sorry. That is such a horrible experience. Good to see the pug is dealing with his grief through sex toys. Whatever gets him through it.

[Shine on, Nikki Diamond]

Oh, Kristen, I’m so sorry! I have no tips, as we were never allowed pets as kids because my dad thought it was too sad to deal with when they died. So…booze it is.

[John]

You can always try humping a lobster toy. It seems to have worked for the pug.

[Enough About Palin]

I think it was George Carlin who said that your not really buying a pet, but rather a minor tragedy at some future point.

[itsnotmeitsyou]

Add your dog’s technique to the bedside booze. Sex releases all the happy chemicals your brain likes so much.

I’m not saying you should hump a lobster, though. That would probably chafe a bit.

[db]

Hey, that’s really sad. I wish I could help with some advice, but I’m always a wreck when I lose a pet.

[JW]

Nope. It sucks and it’s going to keep sucking a for some time. I still remember having to put down my best cat ever, and that was in 1992.

Love yer dog (and yer man), drink in it’s honor and start looking at kittens.

[Brett L]

Remember, your pets will be waiting for you in Valhalla to be the fierce protectors of you they always imagined themselves to be. But yeah, booze helps.

[$park?]

the fierce protectors of you they always imagined themselves to be

Or if they’re cats they’ll be waiting to engage you in glorious battle every day.

[Brett L]

Nice. Much more fitting.

[mr simple]

I am sorry for your loss. I find the the best way to deal with death, for me, is to set aside a time for mourning. Grieve for your loss, rather than hide from it. But you must work towards acceptance and go on with your life after your mourning period. Not that you won’t feel the pain of loss after, but it is important not to dwell and let it fester.

[Gray Ghost]

It fades eventually, Kristen. Remembering the good times helps. Eventually you stop expecting them to greet you as you get in the door, and you stop yourself from getting their food ready, or making time to let them out. It’s supposed to hurt, and it will hurt a lot, but it will get better.

We had to recently put down the dog who inspired my moniker. It has been a month, and I still am wistful and sad when I think about her.

[Enough About Palin]

Your cat isn’t dead. It’s off on a journey.

Just like my sweet dog.

[Jack the Reaper]

I had to put down my favorite cat not too long ago…10 years ago. I still remember her as she died on my lap in the vets office. I cried like a baby. It was a gentle passing. I wrote a story of her life that I’ve never shown anyone but it helped.

Also, your dog might have the right idea…and booze.

[Tim]

“He Prayeth best, who loveth best; All things great and small; For the dear God who loveth us; He made and loveth all.”

? Samuel Taylor Coleridge, The Rime Of The Ancient Mariner

[Matrix]

Democrats propose at $10k fine for gun owners who don’t have liability insurance

1) I know of no such insurance policies out there. Can the government force someone to provide it? (oh, who the fuck am I kidding? Of course they can!)
2) Insurance policies usually don’t cover people committing crimes.
3) Do you really think people who cause most of the gun violence in this country are going to buy this insurance? (of course! It’s the law! They have to obey they law!)
4) This won’t pass.
5) This is nothing like auto insurance.

[John]

The whole thing is about making owning a gun criminal. They can’t outlaw guns. So their plan is to make requirements for owning a gun, like background checks and insurance, that they know will be impractical and thus make every gun owner in the country a criminal.

[Cdr Lytton]

^this^

Making ownership burdensome is the current tactic.

[Gray Ghost]

A problem with this idea is that is seems so reasonable on the surface (cf. HazelMeade) until you look at the details of how it would be implemented, or unless you know the slightest fucking thing about firearms.

I oppose the idea of holding the victims of a crime (in this case, theft or burglary) responsible for what a criminal subsequently does with their property. My guess is that you’d look at how, e.g,, Directors and Officers insurance is set up, and see if you could tweak the framework to cover gunowners who negligently store their guns.

[db]

Yeah, I’m pretty sure that if someone steals my car and runs over someone else with it, I’m not generally liable. Also, if the thief has car insurance, it isn’t going to cover his liability in a car which he stole. My insurance may cover replacement or repair of the car, but not damages due to his unlawful actions. I can’t see how anyone would ever sell a policy insuring against criminal actions committed by thieves.

[Auric Demonocles]

And the car insurance you do own isn’t required if you just own the car but don’t drive it (and depending on the state might not be required at all).