Friday Funnies: Petraeus

Reason Staff | 11.16.2012 8:00 AM

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Jerry on the road 13 years ago

Why does he have Ray-Ban glasses stuck to his uniform?
1. Carston 13 years ago
  
  This...
$park? 13 years ago

Is that supposed to be a bra? Did GigantoPetraeus get caught banging a smurf? Sweet fuck Payne, have you ever seen a woman?
1. Brian from Texas 13 years ago
  
  I think it's supposed to be a medal. The Bronze Bra or something.
2. Question of Auban 13 years ago
  
  Smurfette. And she was certainly an A cup.
  1. Lord Humungus 13 years ago
    
    but still very popular.
    1. Question of Auban 13 years ago
      
      Of course! Only one female in a village of at least a hundred guys all with a severe case of blue balls!
      1. Fatty Bolger 13 years ago
        
        with a severe case of blue balls!
        
        I see what you did there.
zandooo 13 years ago

lol, they dont call him "General Betrayus" for nothing lol

http://www.Privatized-Web.tk
1. Certified Public Asskicker 13 years ago
  
  Evolving anonbot?
  1. RBS 13 years ago
    
    Two steps forward one step back.
    1. Certified Public Asskicker 13 years ago
      
      It fucked up the Gillespie Drug debate thread.
      
      Nevermind anonbot, you still disappoint.
  2. Drake 13 years ago
    
    Is it becoming self-aware?
Fist of Etiquette 13 years ago

And you may find yourself in another part of the world...
1. Tim 13 years ago
  
  Not even you wanted to be first for this shitty thing.
2. db 13 years ago
  
  You may ask yourself: Why...such a large suit?
  You may ask yourseld: Couldn't it be...taken in a little?
  1. Drake 13 years ago
    
    This is not my large automobile.
    This is not my beautiful wife.
    
    My God, what have I done?
  2. Bobarian 13 years ago
    
    His suit isn't big...
    
    The witch doctor shrunk his head.
Lord Humungus 13 years ago

ha!
Almanian. 13 years ago

Horrid. Wretched. Awful. -300
Possibly Payne's worst ever.

Bravo, Henry - you aimed low and struck even lower.
1. Fatty Bolger 13 years ago
  
  He went for the low hanging fruit - and missed.
2. db 13 years ago
  
  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9hCOnuYpjG8
Warty 13 years ago

I disagree strenuously with my despised colleague Almanian. This is easily Payne's best work in years.
1. invisible furry hand 13 years ago
  
  Yes but you and Almanian use this for different things. He - poor simple man - just wants to laugh at Friday Funnies. You use Payne's work for your own sinister purposes. All those who know those purposes are, of course, either dead or insane
  1. Warty 13 years ago
    
    So???
Bardas Phocas 13 years ago

Opens with a scene in Oval Office. The president and director and other hangers on are listening as diplomats and CIA agents are battling terrorists and calling for help. The director demands naval and air force air support for "his people". The president, all weasely, says no. He'll not have "Another Desert One two months before the election. I'll not be a Jimmy Carter clone!" The Director curses him and all his sycophants and storms out. Back at the office he starts drafting his letter of resignation but Salma Hayek slinks in wear lingerie, or nothing, or a burlap sack - it all works with her. Our hero is distracted and starts to bone her.

Cut from the director/Hayek boning to the CIA agents under fire and getting overrun to the president sleeping next to a wookie and then back.

At some point, the obsessed FBI agent will hack the director's emails and then start jacking off.

Bill Clinton will have a cameo, as himself, in later comedic scene where the president is asking him and the director how they get away with having so many women and their wives not cutting their balls off?
1. Bardas Phocas 13 years ago
  
  The pron version will have a number of heavily tattooed, 25 year old actors in general's uniforms, with gold braids and medals boning a bunch of heavily augmented milfs. Bill Clinton will have cameo as himself. It will be called: "The General's Staff".
  1. LTC(ret) John 13 years ago
    
    That was a 25th Infantry Division (Light) training film?
    1. Cdr Lytton 13 years ago
      
      "Tropic Whitening"
Fatty Bolger 13 years ago

Wow, I had no idea he was a recipient of the White Star and the Yellow Sun. I guess he didn't have room on the uniform for his Pink Heart, Yellow Moon, Orange Star and Green Clover.
1. Tim 13 years ago
  
  They're magically delicious.
Bee Tagger 13 years ago

Cool shades, bro.
Loki 13 years ago

What's with the sunglasses?
Romulus Augustus 13 years ago

Why less medals than the typical NYC cop you see on tv dramas?
Lyle 13 years ago

Not as good as this one.

http://legalinsurrection.com/w.....90-LI1.jpg
Cdr Lytton 13 years ago

Is that Petraeus ribbon for achievement or service?
CbadCAMom 13 years ago

Anyone else tired of this "scandal?" Who cares who he was shtupping. Anyone taking bets on criminal charges?
plusafdotcom 13 years ago

... just me, waiting to find out what this is really a distraction from or a coverup for..
... again.

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Friday Funnies: Petraeus

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