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Friday Funnies

Clueless

Chip Bok | 6.15.2012 7:00 AM

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NEXT: Brickbat: Greek Style

Chip Bok
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  1. Fist of Etiquette   14 years ago

    Why is Cos standing outside E.G. Marshall's window?

    1. Longtorso   14 years ago

      You Turkish Satan, brother and comrade of the damned devil and secretary to Lucifer himself! What the hell kind of knight are you? The devil [shits] and you and your army swallow [it]. You aren't fit to have the sons of Christians under you; we aren't afraid of your army, and we'll fight you on land and sea. You Babylonian busboy, Macedonian mechanic, Jerusalem beer brewer, Alexandrian goat skinner, swineherd of Upper and Lower Egypt, Armenian pig, Tatar goat, Kamenets hangman, Podolian thief, grandson of the Evil Serpent himself, and buffoon of all the world and the netherworld, fool of our God, swine's snout, mare's [asshole], butcher's dog, unbaptized brow, may the devil steam your ass! That's how the Cossacks answer you, you nasty glob of spit! You're unfit to rule true Christians. We don't know the date because we don't have a calendar, the moon is in the sky, and the year is in a book, and the day is the same with us as with you, so go kiss our [butt]!

      1. WWNGD?   14 years ago

        Wow! You sure told him.

      2. Troy muy grande boner   14 years ago

        You forgot Steve Smith's Play Toy.

      3. jacob the barbarian   14 years ago

        I wonder if Romney will use Longtorso's monologue as his opening statement at the first debate?

      4. NeonCat   14 years ago

        More people should read Cracked.com. One learns the most interesting things there.

  2. invisible furry hand   14 years ago

    Yay! Friday Funnies returns! And it's... not as bad as usual. But the premise is wrong - not only is there no contradiction with a socialist being clueless, it's actually a pre-requisite

  3. Longtorso   14 years ago

    Today's real FF, from Dilbert

    1. Suthenboy   14 years ago

      Typical slander of Libertarianism. Most people's estimation of Libertarianism is based on the premise that Libertarians are hedonists who long to indulge in activities that are immoral and currently illegal.

      Myself, and all of the ones I know simply wish to be left alone; no dope usage or desire to use any, monogamous, hard working, respectful of others etc. .

      1. invisible furry hand   14 years ago

        But I'm a libertarian only for the sex, drugs, and right to be disrespectful of others. Are you calling me an outlier?

        1. Almanian's Evil Twin   14 years ago

          I'm callin' you over for dinner, some reefer, hookers and blow. Then we'll go shoot machine guns in the back yard.

          Five-ish good for you?

          1. invisible furry hand   14 years ago

            Five? I'll need to speed and run a few red lights to get there by then, so hell yeah

            1. LTC John   14 years ago

              ifh and AET - thanks for that exchange - I needed a smile and laugh this morning.

              1. jacob the barbarian   14 years ago

                what he said

      2. PS   14 years ago

        I read Scott's blog and he is sort of a libertarian himself. He still seems to have a lot of liberal angst to shed buy he's *evolving*. Also, he's pretty sharp so I don't think he's trying to slander libertarianism.

        1. Romulus Augustus   14 years ago

          And everyone knows the pointy haired boss isn't the sharpest tool in the shed.

      3. The Hammer   14 years ago

        I just want to be left alone, even though I use drugs recreationally. Hedonism, though, just got to be too much work for the payoff. Plus, my wife probably wouldn't be too happy about it.

    2. Concerned Citizen   14 years ago

      I nearly spewed my coffee when I read that one. Dilbert rules.

  4. Whiterun Guard   14 years ago

    Why is a young Emo Phillips sitting on the couch with an Easter Island statue?

    1. Almanian's Evil Twin   14 years ago

      +1 internets to you, sir or ma'am

  5. Almanian's Evil Twin   14 years ago

    1) More labels, please
    2) More labels, please
    3) Why are Tracy Morgan's arms so small, his ears so big, and his head a pinched in the middle?
    4) Is this really one of those "Find The Differences?" cartoons?
    - Tracy Morgan's arm is moved
    - Tracy Morgan is looking down
    - Racist man no longer holding up glass
    - Racist "crawl" is at bottom of TV screen
    - etc.

    1. General Butt Naked   14 years ago

      Dude,how the hell can someone mistake Sammy Davis Jr. for Tracy Morgan? Are you blind, man?

      Jeeze.

      1. Almanian's Evil Twin   14 years ago

        Yes, in fact, I AM blind. THANKS FOR REMINDING ME!!!!

        *runs away sobbing*

        1. General Butt Naked   14 years ago

          Well, your mother told you that'd happen.

          You have no one to blame except for yourself.

  6. sage   14 years ago

    I agree with everyone who says Obama needs to be continuously flogged with those words.

  7. Bee Tagger   14 years ago

    I would have spent a little less money on the tv and a little more money for a bigger couch, but that's just me.

    1. invisible furry hand   14 years ago

      But you wouldn't have blown cash on the collagen injections in the lips

  8. Almanian's Evil Twin   14 years ago

    You know who else was a socialist...

    1. Whiterun Guard   14 years ago

      Ed Asner?

  9. Almanian's Evil Twin   14 years ago

    I just noticed that the female racist has a butterfly perched under her nose.

    Nice touch.

  10. Almanian's Evil Twin   14 years ago

    HAH! Internal servers are down at work. No email, no one can do anything....except surf for porn and H'n'R, free from the prying eyes of the web sniffer....

    It's like Libertopia Day!

    1. LTC John   14 years ago

      Oh, don't mind me, I'll be over here seething with envy.

    2. kibby   14 years ago

      It's Libertopia Day every day when you're unemployed!

  11. Tim   14 years ago

    CUT IT OFF! CUT IT OFF!

  12. sungosang   14 years ago

    lol, most politicians (if not all) have lsot total touch with the private sector.

    http://www.Anony-Web.tk

    1. Bobarian   14 years ago

      It would appear that SKYNET is getting very near to reaching sentience.

  13. Seamus   14 years ago

    Aren't cartoons supposed to be funny?

  14. joshua corning   14 years ago

    I fail to see how being a socialist and being clueless are mutually exclusive.

    1. Bucky   14 years ago

      ^this^

  15. sweeterjan   14 years ago

    In fact, it's depressing to see "my" era turned into such a poor caricature. I have to think my parents' generation feels the same way about "Mad Men. http://www.lunettesporto.com/l.....c-3_8.html

  16. joy   14 years ago

    That's how the Cossacks answer you, you nasty glob of spit! You're unfit to rule true Christians. We don't know the date because we don't have a calendar, the moon is in the sky, and the year is in a book, http://www.zonnebrilinnl.com/z.....-3_20.html and the day is the same with us as with you, so go kiss our

  17. tee shirt pas cher   14 years ago

    Congress has been bought by agents of a foreign government, international banks, and all manner of war profiteer.
    Obama regularly wipes his ass with the constitution {how does he have the plegal power to 'legalize illegals'?} and our military is become a mercenary force for Israel.

    It's obvious and blatant yet the major news stations dutifully present the Prez as a liberal champion and his efforts to end the recession sincere and well-advised.

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