Cult of the Presidency: First Lady Asks America to Wish Barack Obama a Happy Father's Day

Mike Riggs | 6.13.2012 1:36 PM

Your daily sweet leaping Jesus comes from First Lady Michelle Obama, who sent an email this morning asking Americans to wish President Barack Obama a happy father's day:

Friend --

From coaching basketball to knowing how many Jonas brothers there are, Barack is a pretty cool dad.

But more importantly, Barack is a wonderful father and partner. No matter what's on his plate, he puts the kids first, and they know how much he loves them.

This Father's Day, I want Barack to know how much we love and appreciate him, so I hope you'll join me in wishing him a happy Father's Day:

http://my.barackobama.com/Fathers-Day

Thanks for all your hard work, and happy Father's Day to all the wonderful dads out there.

- Michelle

There is only one problem with this, and it is that BARACK OBAMA IS NOT MY DADDY.

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tarran 13 years ago

Please! It is right that we honor our country's father.
1. fish 13 years ago
  
  No...that's ChoBama.
2. Killazontherun 13 years ago
  
  Madonna just flashed them a nipple. While the children weep in horror, Dear Leader remains a brave man. He is intrigued.
CockGobbla 13 years ago

Weird.
sage 13 years ago

Happy birthday, preezy!

Here's hoping Chewbacca at least goes all the way down once a year.

Cheers,

filename@myballs.com
1. sage 13 years ago
  
  Fucking autocorrect. S/b "fakename"
Ska 13 years ago

I can't believe you can be so prejudiced against Hawaiians, Mike.
1. Broseph of Invention 13 years ago
  
  "Hawaiians" - is that the Swahili pronunciation of their name?
Hugh Akston 13 years ago

If Barack Obama had a son, he wouldn't look anything like me.
LTC John 13 years ago

What is next? KNEEL BEFORE ZOD!?
Warty 13 years ago

This Father's Day, I want Barack to know how much we love and appreciate him

Why in the sweet fuck would a sane adult human want to love their fucking President? Jesus Fuck.
1. Apatheist ?_?? 13 years ago
  
  Needs more fuck.
  1. Gojira 13 years ago
    
    That advice holds up in most life situations, with a notable exception being Father's Day.
    1. Mo' $parky 13 years ago
      
      Wait a second now, I know I'm always hoping for more fuck on Father's Day.
      1. anon 13 years ago
        
        Well yeah, but you're hoping for more fuck every day.
        
        Mo' $parky 13 years ago
        
        That's true, but on those "special" days there's a chance it might actually happen.
        
        db 13 years ago
        
        Would you like to make some fuck?
        
        Mensan 13 years ago
        
        Berserker!
      2. Gojira 13 years ago
        
        I'm intrigued, but not in a gay way, by the relationship you apparently enjoy with your father.
        
        Mo' $parky 13 years ago
        
        Oh, it's nothing like the special bond you share with the WartyEpisiarchSugarFree beast.
        
        Warty 13 years ago
        
        I wouldn't call it a bond, so much. It's mostly just mucus.
        
        Gojira 13 years ago
        
        Mucus, santorum, six of one, half a dozen of the other.
      3. Rasilio 13 years ago
        
        Best Fathers Day ad ever came from Skyline Chili (a Cincinnati based fast food chili chain) in Louisville Ky. Skyline sells their chili based on the number of ingredients you want. You can get it 2 way, 3 way, 4 way, or 5 way.
        
        Fathers day weekend the local Skyline had the following on their sign...
        
        "Get dad what he really wants this Fathers Day, a Hot 3 way"
        
        PapayaSF 13 years ago
        
        Ah, Skyline. Good stuff. I miss it. Odd hot dogs about 2/3rds the size of normal ones, which I've never seen elsewhere. And the joke was to pronounce the name as if it were a high-class Italian place: "We'll be dining at Scilini's this evening."
  2. Warty 13 years ago
    
    Why the fuck?
    1. Apatheist ?_?? 13 years ago
      
      Because, fuck you that's why.
2. The Hammer 13 years ago
  
  Plenty of "adults" do.
3. Rasilio 13 years ago
  
  Maybe you should ask Monica or Marylin?
Gojira 13 years ago

BARACK OBAMA IS NOT MY DADDY.

Do you know that for a fact? Have you had the DNA testing done? I'm just sayin'.
1. Tim 13 years ago
  
  If any President is, the odds favor Clinton.
2. Red Rocks Rockin 13 years ago
  
  He's got the long-form birth certificate.
  1. Gojira 13 years ago
    
    *ZING!*
joshua corning 13 years ago

There is only one problem with this, and it is that BARACK OBAMA IS NOT MY DADDY.

But he is a dad...

I don't see this as particularly bad.

Also it is kind of nice that our left wing party is not opposed to family like say the Marxist left.
1. CampingInYourPark 13 years ago
  
  Which left?
  http://www.breitbart.com/media.....ama-ad.png
  1. joshua corning 13 years ago
    
    The left that is a man who got married had some kids became president and now his wife praising the institution of fatherhood.
    
    I guess you are saying Obama is a Marxist...could be true but i don't think Marxists are big fans of family and fatherhood...they get in the way of the people's state being mommy and daddy.
    
    So if anything Obama is a Marxist minus the family hating that goes with it.
    1. LTC John 13 years ago
      
      "...now his wife praising the institution of fatherhood."
      
      No, she is saying "This Father's Day, I want Barack to know how much we love and appreciate him, so I hope you'll join me in wishing him a happy Father's Day"
      
      Unless O! suddenly morphed into the "institution of fatherhood".
2. joshua corning 13 years ago
  
  Thanks for all your hard work, and happy Father's Day to all the wonderful dads out there.
  
  One should also point out that a Black women praising dads who stick around is not a bad thing.
  
  Charles Murray would be happy.
  1. Red Rocks Rockin 13 years ago
    
    One should also point out that a Black women praising dads who stick around is not a bad thing.
    
    Are the expectations of blacks really so low that black daddies need to be feted for simply being responsible adults?
    1. Ben the Duck 13 years ago
      
      Evidently, it's like being a contestant in the Special Olympics: you're supposed to get a medal just for showing up.
    2. Concerned Citizen 13 years ago
      
      What Chris Rock said.
      1. Red Rocks Rockin 13 years ago
        
        "What does Daddy get? The big piece of chicken."
    3. joshua corning 13 years ago
      
      Are the expectations of blacks really so low that black daddies need to be feted for simply being responsible adults?
      
      By whom? Me? Culture? The Media?
      
      I don't know what holds the institution of fatherhood together...but among black men in the US it is not doing so good.
      
      I should also point out that father's day is celebrated by white people as well.
      
      Lastly given a preference I would prefer figures like Mrs. Obama feted people for being reasonable adults rather then the alternative she has pursued with her healthy food crap of treating everyone like children.
      1. Red Rocks Rockin 13 years ago
        
        I don't know what holds the institution of fatherhood together...but among black men in the US it is not doing so good.
        
        Well, in the past, it was held together by the prospect of social shaming--the idea that families were central to stable, sustainable societies. It was a given that whenever a father skipped out on his kids, he was harming not just the kids, but his family, neighbors and community, because they would have to pick up the slack for his lack of responsibility.
        
        Just another way the Great Society has fucked over blacks, I suppose.
        
        joshua corning 13 years ago
        
        Just another way the Great Society has fucked over blacks, I suppose.
        
        Truth.
        
        Well, in the past, it was held together by the prospect of social shaming
        
        I think I prefer that being gone. Plus I think carrots work better then sticks.
        
        One does not even have to create carrots either, they already exist.
        
        Married couples live longer make more money have higher social status and raise better kids...plus you don't die all alone.
        
        el esc?ptico 13 years ago
        
        Well, at least the first one to go doesn't die alone.
  2. CampingInYourPark 13 years ago
    
    Failing to see where she mentions anything about "stick around". Are you implying there is a hidden political statement imploring parental responsibility behind this self-aggrandizing pile of dung?
    1. joshua corning 13 years ago
      
      Failing to see where she mentions anything about "stick around".
      
      I am pretty sure she is celebrating Obama's fatherhood for more then simply his DNA contribution.
  3. Suthenboy 13 years ago
    
    I was going to ask barfman for his input about the article, but I think his input is needed for your comment instead.
    Jesus josh dont be such a slobbering cunt.
    1. joshua corning 13 years ago
      
      Jesus josh dont be such a slobbering cunt.
      
      lol.
      
      I don't know. I think I like Obama's family.
      
      At least it isn't the train wreak that is the Clinton Family.
      
      The first lady does suck with all her food nannyism...but most of what she does is informational....it is the spineless crony food makers who volunteer to implement her crap.
      
      Anyway I don't see what the big deal is with her father's day card.
      1. ant1sthenes 13 years ago
        
        The big deal is that in general, father's day cards are intra-family affairs, not invitations for 300 million people to shower Dear Leader with praise and admiration.
  4. Randian 13 years ago
    
    How did I know that some tone-deaf dipshit was going to post some racialist nonsense in this thread.
    
    Black + Father = Racist Claptrap.
    
    Wonderful. It's like a perverse little calculator. You just press the buttons and voila, Instant Stupidity!
    1. joshua corning 13 years ago
      
      You caught me. I am racist.
      
      It should be noted that I did attempt to derail this thread with my Watchmen critique.
      
      But if a successful thread jack takes me becoming the grand wizard of the KKK to do it then I feel up for the job.
3. Red Rocks Rockin 13 years ago
  
  It's the personality-cult quality of it that's so creepy. Why on earth should we "let him know how much we love and appreciate him"? If we were living in North Korea, I'd expect this, but here it's just insipid. I don't think even Hillary was this self-aggrandizing when Bubba was in office.
  1. ChrisO 13 years ago
    
    You're not appreciating him enough. Off to the camps with you.
4. Kaptious Kristen 13 years ago
  
  how much we love and appreciate him
  
  This, dude. This is what's wrong. I don't love Barack Obama. I don't respect him. I don't like him. I don't trust him.
  
  It's creepy.
  1. o3 13 years ago
    
    hummm, what else dont you do w barack?
    1. The Hammer 13 years ago
      
      So o3 can report it to Attackwatch and maybe then Daddy Barack will notice him.
    2. Kaptious Kristen 13 years ago
      
      I know one thing you don't do: speak English.
      1. o3 13 years ago
        
        ich habla espanol, comprehende fraulein?
  2. Pound. Head. On. Desk. 13 years ago
    
    It's creepy.
    
    It's creepy because you're supposed love someone you have never met. Someone who has never heard of you.
    1. Ben the Duck 13 years ago
      
      I tried that with Salma Hayek, and all I got out of the deal was this stupid Restraining Order.
      1. CE 13 years ago
        
        We should start a club.
        
        el esc?ptico 13 years ago
        
        It's like none of you have even heard of this Jeebus character who most of the country, without meeting, claims to love above all else. The sheeple have already been primed.
    2. fish 13 years ago
      
      Talk about creepy...apparently the President is married to a raciss!
      
      From the Drudge Report -
      
      MICHELLE OBAMA: 'Barack Is a Pretty Cool Dad'...
      
      FLASHBACK: 'Cool' racist term for Obama, says CBC staffer...
Gojira 13 years ago

?Father Obama, had many sons,

And many sons had father Obama,

And I am one of them, and so are you,

So lets all praise the Prez!?
1. anon 13 years ago
  
  Reading this song, I am filled with a certain insatiable appetite for murder.
  1. Gojira 13 years ago
    
    Or as Warty calls it, "Wednesday".
    1. Warty 13 years ago
      
      Wednesday Train A'Comin'
2. Red Rocks Rockin 13 years ago
  
  I think this was the retracted verse from the "MMMMM MMMM MMMM BARACK HUSSEIN OBAMA" song those elementary school kids were brainwashed into performing.
Tim 13 years ago

It is right to give him thanks and praise...
1. Randian 13 years ago
  
  gah Catholic flashbacks!
  1. Chloe 13 years ago
    
    ...then he took the cup, and after he had given thanks he told his disciples, "take drink, for this is my blood that was shed for you for the forgiveness of sins, do this in remembrance of me..."
    1. Red Rocks Rockin 13 years ago
      
      "And he went a little further, and fell on his face, and prayed, saying, O my Father, if it be possible, let this cup pass from me: nevertheless not as I will, but as thou wilt."
    2. Red Rocks Rockin 13 years ago
      
      Since we're bringing up Bible verses why leave out the first "progressive"?
      
      " Then Mary took about a pint[a] of pure nard, an expensive perfume; she poured it on Jesus' feet and wiped his feet with her hair. And the house was filled with the fragrance of the perfume.
      
      4 But one of his disciples, Judas Iscariot, who was later to betray him, objected, 5 "Why wasn't this perfume sold and the money given to the poor? It was worth a year's wages.[b]" 6 He did not say this because he cared about the poor but because he was a thief; as keeper of the money bag, he used to help himself to what was put into it."
      1. Pope Jimbo 13 years ago
        
        Hardcore Bible verse that may be germane to Father's Day
        
        Ezekiel 23:19-20
        
        19 Yet she became more and more promiscuous as she recalled the days of her youth, when she was a prostitute in Egypt. 20 There she lusted after her lovers, whose genitals were like those of donkeys and whose emission was like that of horses.
Chloe 13 years ago

Creepy
EDG reppin' LBC 13 years ago

Dad,
When I needed a friend, you were there.
When I needed a teacher, you were there.
When I needed a guide, you were there.
When I needed a hero, you were there.

Now, I'm strung out on heroin...

HAPPY FATHER'S DAY!!!
Palin's Buttplug 13 years ago

Riggs, you asked for it when you signed up to the Obama e-mail list.

Hell, I wouldn't do that and I voted for the guy. Take some personal responsibility for once.
1. Randian 13 years ago
  
  NEEDZ MOAR FAKE FINANCIAL CREDENTIALZ
2. fish 13 years ago
  
  Why aren't you Obamas Buttplug Shriek? Rahm Emanuel still parked there?
  1. Ben the Duck 13 years ago
    
    Well, technically, Chris Matthews was there first.
    1. fish 13 years ago
      
      Actually I thought Matthews was playing "catcher" in this game of "I've got a tingle"?
3. Mr. FIFY 13 years ago
  
  I still maintain an "ardent Barry Goldwater fan" would NEVER vote for someone like Obama.
4. ant1sthenes 13 years ago
  
  He's undercover inside the cult. He's doing this for us, shrike.
NARCISSISM 13 years ago

Just another in a long list of examples from Michelle and Barack on how it's done folks.
tarran 13 years ago

I went to the website to show the degree of my love for Barrack, but it had no option to order a flaming bag of feces to be delivered to his welcome mat.

I blame the myopic web-designer.
1. The Hammer 13 years ago
  
  You have to go to 18000Flowers for that.
Ice Nine 13 years ago

And here I had been afraid that there would be no way I could send Fathers Day greetings to the President. Not only can I now conveniently do that but he can easily email me a thank you note. Too cool! Now, if I could just figure out a way to send him a campaign donation...
Episiarch 13 years ago

Michele already had ugly nailed down, as well as nanny, and now she's angling for creepy.

This administration/presidency just keeps getting more repulsive.
1. Tman 13 years ago
  
  I was thinking the same thing. I am repeatedly amazed at the overall creepiness of this family.
  
  Can you imagine the post-presidency stuff? When Michelle can REALLY tell us how she feels?
  
  Good lord that's gonna be awesome.
2. o3 13 years ago
  
  isnt ur screen name an anagram for replusive?
  1. The Hammer 13 years ago
    
    Not to people who can read, no.
    1. The Hammer 13 years ago
      
      Or know what "anagram" means.
      1. The Hammer 13 years ago
        
        Or know how to spell "repulsive."
        
        o3 13 years ago
        
        or carry someone else's...ahh, water
  2. Suthenboy 13 years ago
    
    If it is then yours is an anagram for 'illiterate fuckstick'. No, wait...too many letters....and not even the right ones.
    Hmmmm.
  3. Pound. Head. On. Desk. 13 years ago
    
    Episiarch is an anagram for Carpe Ishi, "Sieze the last remaining Yashi Indian." This is a clear taunt to Whitless Engine. Never mind the timeline.
    1. Sudden 13 years ago
      
      Brilliant work. Epi will be proud.
Montani Semper Liberi 13 years ago

No matter what's on his plate, he puts the kids first

Well, hey, at least he admits to not putting the country first. The first step in solving a problem is acknowledging there is one.
1. Mo' $parky 13 years ago
  
  He only puts the kids first because the dog is gone. I think he puts the kids first because they taste nasty and he wants to eat the better stuff after to get rid of the flavor.
  1. Ice Nine 13 years ago
    
    The dog isn't in that photo?
    1. Randian 13 years ago
      
      I'd vote for Bo for President.
      1. Tim 13 years ago
        
        Didn't he eat the dog?
        
        Pound. Head. On. Desk. 13 years ago
        
        With onions and garlic?
        
        Ben the Duck 13 years ago
        
        I thought their names were Malia and Sasha?
  2. Broseph of Invention 13 years ago
    
    I assumed it was to check for poison.
fish 13 years ago

I don't mind wishing any father a happy Fathers Day...but then again my wishing someone a happy fathers day doesn't involve generating a e-mail list to shake folks down for ward-heeler money later either!
sloopyinca 13 years ago

I'll be seeing you guys later. I may have to lay low for a while, as I expect the Secret Service to come-a-knocking any day now.

I signed the card "Gofuck Yerself" but put my actual e-mail address. Strangely enough, I have not received a reply from Michelle yet. She must be busy telling someone how to live their life on Oprah or The View.
1. Warty 13 years ago
  
  As long as you get your comeuppance for your crimes against America, I don't much care who gives it to you.
2. Lord Humungus 13 years ago
  
  oh, I can see it already. Comrade sloopyinca will give us all up to save his precious skin.
  1. sloopyinca 13 years ago
    
    Oh, puh-leeze. I might get voted "Most Likely To Go Out In An Idiotic Hail Of Bullets" if Warty, Epi and FoE get knocked out of the open primary.
3. Kaptious Kristen 13 years ago
  
  Why aren't you in the goddamn Ben Hurr thread mocking his fucking hipster eyewear?
  1. sloopyinca 13 years ago
    
    Never, ever make fun of an Asian that is kind enough to put on eyeglasses. Do you realize what the alternative is?
    
    Hey everybody, Kristen wants Asians on the highways without corrective eyewear on. What do you want, Red Asphalt 2: Erectric Boogaroo?
    1. sloopyinca 13 years ago
      
      In all serious, though, those are silly looking spectacles.
  2. Tim 13 years ago
    
    Women can smell a man they can nag.
4. Rick O'Shay 13 years ago
  
  Or maybe she just went to a really really huge adult store and is having a hard time picking out that perfect dildo.
5. Adam330 13 years ago
  
  Secret Service? Do you hear that buzzing overhead? It's a drone...
sarcasmic 13 years ago

*barf*
Joe M 13 years ago

Definitive proof of my years old claim that Barack Obama was elected National Dad!

I'm ready for my bullet.
Joe M 13 years ago

I saw we celebrate by building a monument to Obama, Ozymandias-style.
1. joshua corning 13 years ago
  
  This bothers me about Watchmen.
  
  How can such an vane character save the world knowing he will never get credit for it?
  
  In the last panels he questions Mr Manhattan if he did the right thing...when the hell did he ever get morally confused? It seems out of character and comes out of the blue. the last panels should have hinted at his conflict in not telling the world that he saved it.
  1. Gojira 13 years ago
    
    Because if he revealed himself, the world wouldn't be saved.
    
    I don't think he really has a moral question about it. I think it was a put-on. He knows he perpetrated evil, and he doesn't care because it's for the Greater Good.
    
    The key scene of the whole thing to me is when he casually lies about having killed his servants. He tells the other heroes that they got drunk and accidentally killed themselves. Why lie, unless he knows, absolutely, that what he's done is wrong?
    1. joshua corning 13 years ago
      
      I don't think he really has a moral question about it.
      
      I do. No other reason why he would ask Manhattan. Manhattan had already agreed to the logic of it. A smaller evil for a greater good.
      
      If he did not have a moral doubt he never would have brought it up.
2. fish 13 years ago
  
  How bout a song?
  
  with apologies to Ira Levin.
  
  Christ Obama, Marx, Wood and Wei
  Led us to this perfect day.
  Marx, Wood, Wei and Christ Obama,
  All but Wei and Obama were sacrificed.
  Wood, Wei, Christ Obama and Marx
  Gave us lovely schools and parks.
  Wei, Christ Obama, Marx and Wood,
  Made us humble, made us good.
SugarFree 13 years ago

If we do not profess our love, how will the crops grow? He is our sun, our soil, our rain!

Creepy fuckwits be creepy.
1. ClubMedSux 13 years ago
  
  I initially read that as "how will the hops grow?" My subconscious rules.
2. Tim 13 years ago
  
  And I suppose YOU know how many Jonas brothers there are?
  1. Joe M 13 years ago
    
    Theoretically, there is an unlimited number, as long as they keep an active culture alive.
3. Tim 13 years ago
  
  They're creepy and they're kooky,
  Mysterious and spooky,
  They're all together ooky,
  The Obama Family.
  
  Their house is a museum
  Where people come to see 'em
  They really are a scream
  The Obama Family.
  
  (Neat)
  (Sweet)
  (Petite)
  
  So get a Gucci shawl on
  A checkbook you can scrawl on
  We're gonna pay a call on
  The Addams Family.
4. Sudden 13 years ago
  
  If we do not profess our love, how will the crops grow?
  
  Simple. Use Brawndo. It's got what plants crave.
Brett L 13 years ago

So, on a semi-related topic (not really), I just saw a FB post for the "Student Loan Forgiveness Act of 2012" from an employed lawyer. Are you fucking kidding me? Not only did I defriend, I am resolved to pick a fight next time I run into that person at the bar. I'm fucking 20% underwater on my home according to Zillow, but you don't see me whining for a "Bought at the Top of the Market Like a Dumbass Loan Forgiveness Act of 2012". Plus its not like the JD is a particularly devalued credential -- as this one's employment proves. I'm off to go find a puppy to kick.
1. The Hammer 13 years ago
  
  Puppies didn't do anything to you. Find a lawyer or politician.
  1. ant1sthenes 13 years ago
    
    Yes, but on the other hand, puppies can't do anything to you, unlike lawyers and politicians.
2. Red Rocks Rockin 13 years ago
  
  That's interesting, because I posted a link on my FB the other day showing how much federal student loans had skyrocketed since 2008, and I got no comments at all.
  
  Last time I posted something on that topic (I don't support student loans at all, fwiw), I got responses from a couple of women I knew in high school that implied I was arguing that they shouldn't have had the "opportunity to better themselves." I realized that, being liberal feminists, they were more concerned about themselves than about the impact of all that debt on society as a whole, and laid out why it was unsustainable. No responses to that, of course. Maybe I should have just called them "self-centered bitches" and had some fun with it.
  1. Brett L 13 years ago
    
    No comments usually means I'm right and my uh, more TEAM oriented friends don't want to admit it.
    
    I thought about posting any number of links, but arguing about politics on FB is a great way to make an ass of myself and change nobody's mind. And that's what I come to HnR for.
    1. Red Rocks Rockin 13 years ago
      
      I think most people have figured out that if you want to keep your FB friends, don't post politically-charged links unless you're ready and willing to fight about it.
Bee Tagger 13 years ago

From coaching basketball to knowing how many Jonas brothers there are, Barack is a pretty cool dad.

Good job not using any easily dated references.
1. Brett L 13 years ago
  
  Maybe he doesn't know the names of both Jedwards.
  1. T 13 years ago
    
    Trick question. They're both named Jedward, it's just that one is pronounced with a glottal stop.
    1. Ska 13 years ago
      
      What you do with Jedwads and your epiglottis should really be kept to yourself, bub.
ClubMedSux 13 years ago

Why the fuck should Obama's Father's Day be any less disappointing than mine?
Tim 13 years ago

No matter what's on his plate, he puts the kids first

Going for the cannibal vote?
1. Joe M 13 years ago
  
  ...and they know how much he loves them...
  
  With some fava beans and a nice Chianti.
2. fish 13 years ago
  
  Going for the cannibal vote?
  
  ...or the "Bath Salts" vote!
Loki 13 years ago

This Father's Day, I want Barack to know how much we love and appreciate him, so I hope you'll join me in wishing him a happy Father's Day

"Now show your daddy some respect, proles! On your knees, bitches!"
1. joshua corning 13 years ago
  
  I have never seen Michele as a particularly savvy political player...
  
  My guess is she is simply being a corny mom and wife.
  1. The Hammer 13 years ago
    
    A corny mom and wife of an egomaniac.
    1. ?Ex Nihilo? 13 years ago
      
      A corny mom and wife of an egomaniac.
      
      FIFY.
      1. joshua corning 13 years ago
        
        Maybe you guys don't have moms like my mom.
        
        None of my brothers or I particularly care about holidays...in fact we would probably not have them if we had the choice.
        
        I don't think my dad cares but he has been assimilated to the cause and there is no talking to him about it. Every other sentence includes phrases like "your mother" and the "the Woman who birthed you".
        
        Yet our mom through sheer force of will (ego) forces these rituals upon us without fail.
        
        Sure the first lady is an egomaniac but I think when it comes to family celebrations like this it is not particularly abnormal.
        
        Ben the Duck 13 years ago
        
        Maybe you guys don't have moms like my mom.
        
        Probably not. Mine would have spat blood at the notion of an administration baldly lobbying the general population to reassure its sitting figurehead to publicly avow their "love and appreciation" towards same.
        
        Funny ol' gal, that way.
        
        joshua corning 13 years ago
        
        The strawmen...they are huge!!!
        
        Ben the Duck 13 years ago
        
        Failed attempt at rebuttal is failed.
BakedPenguin 13 years ago

Thank you, national father!
Tim 13 years ago

Obama loves me this I know
Because Michelle has told me so...
Res Publica Americana 13 years ago

That's right, folks! When he's not busy driving a superpower into the socioeconomic shitpile and being a petty tyrant, Husseinus Obamus Barackus Imperator Americanus is a fantastic dad! And if your dies in a federal drug raid, don't worry, you'll always have Caesar to look up to and cherish.
Ben the Duck 13 years ago

"Blood and souls for my Lord Barack!"
/Elric of Melnibone
1. Episiarch 13 years ago
  
  Does that make Michelle Stormbringer?
  1. Ben the Duck 13 years ago
    
    Yes. And Joe Biden is Cymoril.
    
    Obama is merely one aspect of the Eternal Rent-Seeker. There are many such, throughout the multiverse.
    1. Episiarch 13 years ago
      
      So wait...that would make Romney Hawkmoon. Or Corum.
      1. Ben the Duck 13 years ago
        
        "... and Chris Matthews as that lovable scamp, MOONGLUM!"
        **cue cheery TV theme music**
    2. Tim 13 years ago
      
      Rent-Seeker would be a good name for a sword.
      1. ?Ex Nihilo? 13 years ago
        
        Ancient sword of House Frey?
2. The Hammer 13 years ago
  
  I don't get it.
  1. Ben the Duck 13 years ago
    
    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Elric_of_Melnibon
  2. sarcasmic 13 years ago
    
    That's a good thing.
    I googled it and discovered it's the kind of thing only a total dork would understand.
Res Publica Americana 13 years ago

That's right, folks. When he's not busy driving a superpower into the socioeconomic shitpile and being a petty tyrant, Husseinus Obamus Barackus Imperator Americanus is a great dad! And if YOUR dad dies in a federal drug raid, don't worry, for you'll always have our glorious pater patriae to look up to and cherish!
Res Publica Americana 13 years ago

Why is Reason's spam filter fucking with me again?
Res Publica Americana 13 years ago

That's right, folks. When he's not busy driving a superpower into the socioeconomic shitpile and being a petty tyrant, Husseinus Obamus Barackus Imperator Americanus is a great dad! And if YOUR dad dies in a federal drug raid, don't worry, for you'll always have our glorious pater patriae to look up to and cherish!
Cult of Personality 13 years ago

If Barack Obama had a son he would not look like Mike Riggs.
MP 13 years ago

OMGZ BMO MY HERO YAH BARACK!!!
NoVAHockey 13 years ago

Search your feelings. You know it to be true.
xenia onatopp 13 years ago

I'm pretty sure David Brooks will be signing it.
1. BakedPenguin 13 years ago
  
  I first read that as "singing it", and had a vision of him in a Marilyn Monroe dress crooning to Obama.
  1. Warty 13 years ago
    
    So I'm not the only one who daydreams about that. Whew!
Ben the Duck 13 years ago

This year, instead of giving "Dad" a tie... why not hand him a loss?
1. Rich 13 years ago
  
  Like.
Srynerson 13 years ago

I'd submit that this is no creepier than the George W. Bush Presidential Center asking people to send him birthday wishes last year: http://www.bushcenter.com/lp/n.....ing-nd.php
1. DesigNate 13 years ago
  
  While birthday wishes is pretty creepy, it pales in comparison to the overtly partnalistic nature of this. It is basically acting like Obama is the loving father of the country who is just trying to lead us to a better tomorrow.
2. MP 13 years ago
  
  How 'bout when his old man had his personal aircraft carrier pay him a visit at his house in Kennebunkport?
  
  WTF was up with that? Why didn't that 10M dollar visit (those boats aren't cheap, ya know) cause a major shitstorm last week?
  1. Loki 13 years ago
    
    Kennebunkport, where the Bushes maintain a family compound
    
    Pet Peeve alert: Can the media please stop using the word "compound" to describe private residences? "Compound" sounds more like it's some kind of military installation or something with barbed wire topped concrete walls, maybe a fallout shelter, etc. It's a large house. Just call it a house, or "property" is there's more than one bulding.
    1. MP 13 years ago
      
      Given the Secret Service presence, it's not too farm from "compound".
      1. Mr. FIFY 13 years ago
        
        When talking about the Kennedy hangout, "compound" is appropriate.
3. Apatheist ?_?? 13 years ago
  
  I submit that it's not because it doesn't have this part:
  
  how much we love and appreciate him
4. SugarFree 13 years ago
  
  It took this long for BOOSH DID IT TOO!1!! eruption?
amelia 13 years ago

This is certainly gross but I just want to point out that mother's day father's day thing are each, apparently, out of control in their own ways. I doubt it happens to men, but on mother's day I get store clerks and other strangers telling me "happy mother's day" all year long. Not only am I not their mothers, I'm not a mother at all. People give mother's day cards to their sisters and friends who are moms, and their aunts. Father's day cards for the president are new to me, but stimulus overgeneralization at Hallmark holidays for the sake of selling cards and shit isn't.
1. amelia 13 years ago
  
  Lotsa errors in that post; it is early for me.
  1. Old Man With Candy 13 years ago
    
    It was a false alarm.
Res Publica Americana 13 years ago

http://news.yahoo.com/blogs/up.....16757.html

Ad agency that marketed first lady's 'Let's Move' campaign also promotes sugary drink

"The same ad agency promoting Michelle Obama's "Let's Move" campaign is also working on the social media campaign of the super-sized version of the super-sweet drink Capri Sun. Awk-ward.

The fruit juice in a pouch was named by Disney as one of the products it will ban from advertising on its network because it does not meet the minimum requirements for limits on calories, fat and, sugar.

The first lady recently praised Disney at a press conference, calling its move at a "game changer." She noted that kids see $1.6 billion a year worth of food and drink marketing, making parents feel like the "deck is stacked against them." She added, "That's what our entire Let's Move initiative is about. It's about empowering parents."

Pinko hag writes shitty article, aided by Mr. Michelle Obama in dumbfuckery. Nothing unusual.
Res Publica Americana 13 years ago

The filter is killing me.
Lord Humungus 13 years ago

you know who else got Father's Day wishes...
1. The Hammer 13 years ago
  
  Antonio Cromartie?
  1. Ben the Duck 13 years ago
    
    Melissa Etheridge?
    1. sarcasmic 13 years ago
      
      Q:What do you call an army of angry lesbians?
      
      A:Militia Etheridge.
      1. Tim 13 years ago
        
        And people complain about me.
        
        SugarFree 13 years ago
        
        I've never found you to be a particularly angry lesbian, Tim.
        
        Tim 13 years ago
        
        (shakes fist)
  2. Brett L 13 years ago
    
    +9 (I think)
sarcasmic 13 years ago

I still can't get over how ugly that woman is.
Anonymous Coward 13 years ago

You know who won't be having a happy Father's Day? Anwar al-Awlaki. You know why he won't be having a happy Father's Day? Because he was an American citizen murdered without the benefit of due process by order of Imperator Barack I Obama.
1. Apatheist ?_?? 13 years ago
  
  That's ok he doesn't have a son to be a father too anymore either.
  1. Anonymous Coward 13 years ago
    
    That's how our God-Emperor-President displays mercy. Rather than letting Little Anwar suffer the pain of being fatherless, he took the time and effort out of his busy schedule to reunite father and son as corpses.
    
    Kiss the Peace Prize, bitches.
Pip 13 years ago

"Stop fingering me, daddy!"
Tim 13 years ago

A neighborhood in Anchorage is reeling from the death of a man who was shot Saturday after brandishing a stick at police officers.

http://www.alaskadispatch.com/.....ead-police
1. Pip 13 years ago
  
  http://blog.alaksir.com/wp-con.....signal.jpg
  1. sarcasmic 13 years ago
    
    You're supposed to use an anchor tag.
    1. Gus 13 years ago
      
      What does that even mean?
2. sarcasmic 13 years ago
  
  After a long paid vacation it will be ruled justified.
  1. Tim 13 years ago
    
    This one is in jail AND getting paid leave
    
    http://bdtonline.com/local/x15.....se-charges
    1. sarcasmic 13 years ago
      
      He made the mistake of committing the crimes while out of uniform.
      
      Had he been on duty while diddling the girl it likely would have been swept under the rug.
    2. ?Ex Nihilo? 13 years ago
      
      David Estes
      don't be too quick to judge, more to this than meets the eye.
      
      This is why I have very little hope for this country.
Mr. FIFY 13 years ago

"Happy Father's Day, you thug."

There, he's been wished.
Andrew S. 13 years ago

Dear President Obama:

Happy Father's Day.

Love, Somebody who doesn't want to be killed in a drone attack and leave his daughter fatherless.
CampingInYourPark 13 years ago

Maybe we'll have the chance to send a wedding gift soon:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?f.....5nEV8q-4U#!
1. CampingInYourPark 13 years ago
  
  http://www.youtube.com/watch?f.....n5nEV8q-4U
  1. CampingInYourPark 13 years ago
    
    http://www.politico.com/news/s.....77390.html
    JFC
Rasilio 13 years ago

Look by all accounts Barak is a devoted family man, whatever other faults he may possess he deserves kudos for being a good father.

That said, knowing how many Jonas Brothers there are? Is this 1996 all over again? Hell even I know that these days the Monkees knock off boy band of choice is Big Time Rush.
1. Ben the Duck 13 years ago
  
  Does he "deserve" my "love and appreciation," too? Or is that still optional?
  1. Rasilio 13 years ago
    
    No, probably not, although I suppose you could aprreciate him for preventing us from having to suffer under President Maverick who may well have been worse so that's something.
    1. Ben the Duck 13 years ago
      
      who may well have been worse
      
      Based upon the hard evidence at hand? Doubtful, at best; preposterous, at worst.
      1. Rasilio 13 years ago
        
        Other than gay marriage and gays in the military (and even the first of those is somewhat doubtful) can you seriously name a single policy that Obama has proposed which would not have been supported by McCain had he been President (and no evidence of him opposing the policies in actuality don't count because he's just playing team sports there)
        
        Ben the Duck 13 years ago
        
        Can you seriously defend the boneheaded proposition that we'd currently be saddled with "McCainCare," absent relief by way of the Supreme Court? Can you assert, straight-faced and sans giggling, that a McCain/Palin administration would be as maniacally anti-coal, anti-oil and anti-nuclear as this one? That it would have stumbled over its own feet in the frenzied scramble to nationalize the greater portion of the U.S. auto industry?
        
        Pfffft. Please. It's one thing to play "Let's Pretend," quietly and in the privacy of one's own room; another one, altogether, to willingly engage in unalloyed self-delusion.
        
        Ben the Duck 13 years ago
        
        Your concession to brute reality, however grudging, is accepted.
freeAgent 13 years ago

It's just a phase. Mr. Riggs will grow out of it in a few years.
o3 13 years ago

dogs barkin
the whole thread
*woof*

now go fetch that stick
CE 13 years ago

George Washington is widely regarded as the father of our country.

Today, Barack Obama's staff somehow thought it was a good idea for the whole country to send Obama a father's day card.
Tulpa the White 13 years ago

May God bless and keep the czar...far away from us.
GroundTruth 13 years ago

W
T
F
?
BarryD 13 years ago

FBO

And fuck Michelle, too.
James T 13 years ago

Mr. Obama, you are no Jack Kennedy;
neither are you comparable or worth including in my own Father's Day wishes to my father.

It ought to be enough to receive honor from your own children rather than attempt to build your reputation as a father from total strangers.
ptu 13 years ago

I just bought one set new 2012 Spain Blue soccer jerseys from http://www.gogoalshop.com/cd-152-0-1-Spain.html. I feel so good! It is fantastic!
sstorm 13 years ago

P500 is Android powered phone and runs the latest v2.2 Froyo. It features a 3.2 inch capactive touchscreen with a maximum resolution of 320 x 480 pixels.
sstorm 13 years ago

P500 is Android powered phone and runs the latest v2.2 Froyo. It features a 3.2 inch capactive touchscreen with a maximum resolution of 320 x 480 pixels.
dennis 13 years ago

Dyson Vacuum cleaner is a high performance vacuum cleaner.Dyson DC08 vacuum cleaner is known to provide a steady suction force throughout the life time of its use.
1. Rasilio 13 years ago
  
  If only I could say the same thing about my wife
CharlotteHaze 13 years ago

Overlooking the unsavory motives behind this push to wish Dear Leader a happy-father's-day; I take exception to the very idea of a president who "puts the kids first, no matter what's on his plate".

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Cult of the Presidency: First Lady Asks America to Wish Barack Obama a Happy Father's Day

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