Friday Funnies

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Chip Bok | 4.27.2012 7:00 AM

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WTF 13 years ago

I don't get it. Why is Hillary Clinton holding a giant greeting card with a GSA factoid on it? And what does the SS guy stiffing a hooker have to do with spending money on a clown?
1. Pound. Head. On. Desk. 13 years ago
  
  And why does she have a piece of paper stuck to this side of her head?
2. Groovus Maximus 13 years ago
  
  That's actually Elizabeth Warren. Hillary doesn't wear glasses; she's afraid they make her look dated and dowdy.
  1. Pound. Head. On. Desk. 13 years ago
    
    Too late.
Alack 13 years ago

Why isn't the dog labelled "American Public"? I'm disappointed.
1. Bee Tagger 13 years ago
  
  Ha, nice.
2. Soc Indv Sparky 13 years ago
  
  Never mind that, where are the cops that shot it?
Bee Tagger 13 years ago

That Russian spy is trying to deflect attention away from the Russian spy angle Sen. Grassley so expertly figured out. Her ushanka gives her away, though.
invisible furry hand 13 years ago

Better ideas for a Friday Funny cartoon, please.

I'll kick off - how about joking that the Secret Service hi-jinks with whores are a form of foreign aid
1. Alack 13 years ago
  
  No, IFH, they're GIVING the whores Foreign AIDS.
  1. Groovus Maximus 13 years ago
    
    "Oh, you mean assistants!"
    1. Bucky 13 years ago
      
      ass-istants
      fify...
2. PS 13 years ago
  
  "Hey, 47 bucks and a Ted Nugent autograph."
Fist of Etiquette 13 years ago

"Stiffed a hooker." Ribald. Bok decides to work blue.
Zombie Jimbo 13 years ago

I would be willing to pay quite a bit for a mind reading Columbian hooker.
1. invisible furry hand 13 years ago
  
  How much? More than $47, presumably. As much as $3200? Or more, since she's multitasking
  1. Formerly Almanian 13 years ago
    
    $32. It's COLOMBIA, MAN! El Cheapo labor-o, muy bueno!
    1. Groovus Maximus 13 years ago
      
      Your pitiful espan?l earns you a deserved cock block.
      1. Soc Indv Sparky 13 years ago
        
        I'm not sure someone who can't spell espa?ol should be making such a comment.
        
        Groovus Maximus 13 years ago
        
        Aw, la mierda! Tiene razon; huevo en la cara. (ocultos lejos en desconcierto)
        
        Soc Indv Sparky 13 years ago
        
        Uh, TMI. And I don't want to know whose balls.
        
        db 13 years ago
        
        Mein Hodensack eine gro?e Rolle spielt.
  2. Zombie Jimbo 13 years ago
    
    I'm assuming she'd be able to tell how much I'd be willing to pay and for what. Asymmetrical Information at it's best. Or worst. Hard to call until the morning.
Formerly Almanian 13 years ago

Also, this is horrible.

And the sky is blue. And the sun rose in the East this morning. And the government is fucking us as we speak. And LeBron James is somewhere, choking.

IOW, the usual.

Happy Friday, Reasonoids. HERC, I MISS U, BRO!
1. Groovus Maximus 13 years ago
  
  I like the status quo WRT Friday Funnies; otherwise, I would stroke out the minute a funny occurred.
shrike 13 years ago

http://www.isidewith.com/presi.....ction-quiz

I ran across the easiest Libertarian purity test of all time. Its short too.

I side with Gary Johnson first on it - Romney dead last.
1. Alack 13 years ago
  
  Apparently I'm a Wrights/Johnson/Paul guy, with Obama in dead last by a decent margin.
  
  Nice site, thanks for the link.
2. Soc Indv Sparky 13 years ago
  
  Due to the skewed nature of the questions, I ended up with 93% support for Ron Paul and 92% Libertarian overall. I think Ron is probably the best person to get into office this time around but I don't know that I'd consider myself that Libertarian. Some of those questions don't allow for what I would actually answer.
  1. General Butt Naked 13 years ago
    
    I actually thought the answers to chose from (usually under the 'other' section) were pretty good. There was actually a bit of nuance for a poll thingy.
    
    Which questions didn't have answers that you would aver?
    1. Soc Indv Sparky 13 years ago
      
      Stem cell research was Yes/No, federal funds to public schools was Yes/No, tax cut extension was Yes/No, offshore drilling was Yes/No. Those are a few.
      1. General Butt Naked 13 years ago
        
        There was a button that brought up more choices.
        
        For stem cells I chose this one:
        
        No, allow the private sector to explore potential benefits
        
        Public schools had a get the fed out of schools option, that I chose.
        
        The bank bailout question actually had a Paulian gold-bugger response (I chose that one).
        
        The drug legalization one had a good choice to free all people in prison on drug charges in addition to legalization, put me down for that.
        
        Soc Indv Sparky 13 years ago
        
        Apparently NoScript blocked that out. After retaking I ended with:
        
        Paul: 97%
        Wrights: 90%
        Johnson: 84%
3. Restoras 13 years ago
  
  I'm voting for Johnson, or maybe I'll write-in Paul.
  
  I think Shikha is right. Maybe, just maybe (ok it's a wild longshot but a guy can dream) if the idiot in the White House keeps his job, and the idiot Republicans win control of Congress, when the entire edifice collapses in the next couple of years BOTH parties will rightly be blamed and then, maybe but still probably unlikely, the electorate will begin to get serious about holding these assholes accountable.
  1. Soc Indv Sparky 13 years ago
    
    Now THIS is a Friday Funny. HAHAHAHA!!! Good one Restoras.
4. Ex Nihilo 13 years ago
  
  Paul - 96/Johnson - 94/Wrights - 93
  Romney last amoung repubs, Obama last overall.
  
  Libertarian - 95
  
  Agree with Sparky that some of the questions didn't have the answers I would have picked.
  1. General Butt Naked 13 years ago
    
    I agree with the "Rent is Too Damn High" guy more than the sitting president.
    
    Awesome.
    1. Soc Indv Sparky 13 years ago
      
      He was 4th on my list with 73%.
      1. General Butt Naked 13 years ago
        
        How are you going to argue with THE RENT IS TOO DAMN HIGH? I mean unless you're a landlord then it's probably lower than you'd like.
5. Nooge. 13 years ago
  
  If a bunch of emotionally charged or laughably vague questions count for anything, I'm with RP at 95%.
Joe M 13 years ago

It's funny, because the GSA paid a mind reader $3,200.
1. Bucky 13 years ago
  
  a dirty mind is a terrible thing to waste...
Troy 13 years ago

I don't get it. The animal has the head of a dog but the body of a cat.
Tim 13 years ago

Hilarious.
Nooge. 13 years ago

Penny Arcade satirizes political cartooning and still manages to be funny.
Nooge. 13 years ago

Is "stiffed a hooker" some kind of pun?
sloopyinca 13 years ago

Paul 91%
Wrights 87%
Johnson 76%
...
Obama 7%*

*I guess they're rating his immigration policy on his 2008 campaign instead of how he's governed. Otherwise, I'd have ended up at 0% for the piece of shit.
1. General Butt Naked 13 years ago
  
  The things that I agreed with Obama in the poll were either unimportant things (evolution) or things he has lied about (lifting the Cuba Embargo, opening up off shore drilling.
Tonio 13 years ago

Actually funny. Good work Bok.

Having said thay, you ruined my morning. I always build up bile and spleen in anticipation of the H&R Friday drawing, but now have nothing to rail against.
1. Tonio 13 years ago
  
  Finally, something: The SS guy did "stiff" the hooker FOR $47, but it appears he stiffed her OUT OF $753 dollars.
Jesus H. Christ 13 years ago

This attempt is closer to humor than any of the recent ones. I give this one a "D" for trying.
Jesus H. Christ 13 years ago

On that quiz:

RP: 97%
GJ: 90%

Not that it means anything.
Marc St. Stephen 13 years ago

$47 dollars?! That was either a really good deal or a really nasty-looking hooker... uh, not that I know anything about it
Mensan 13 years ago

Why the hell is Joe Arpaio's reelection PAC running ads on H&R? Don't get me wrong, if they want to waste their money courting the handful of trolls on this site who don't think that guy is a worthless shitweasel, then go for it. It's just not a very good idea.
joshua corning 13 years ago

I love the passed out dog.
darius404 13 years ago

You know what we SHOULD have gotten for the GSA scandal? A comic about putting government officials into the same room as a mind reader.

" 'Key members of the GSA.' Key. The minds behind every government expenditure in the nation, and you put them in a room with a psychic."

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