Friday Funnies

Flying Carpet

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  1. Looks like that carpet has an oil leak

    1. [SO] [DOES] [MY] [HEAD]

      1. Come on, poor babe:
        Some powerful spirit instruct the kites and ravens
        To be thy nurses! Wolves and bears, they say,
        Casting their savageness aside, have done
        Like offices of pity.

        Shakespeare, Winter’s Tale, Act II, scene 3, line 185

        1. Oh you are a savant…..what’s the square root of 267459774673898476388867638866388983541325678?

          No cheating.

          1. If you can get the answer, using any method whatsoever, how would that be cheating?

            1. I think the “Savant” angle means that the individual only goes out in public on a leash but can whip out square, cube roots…etc. off the top of their head.

          2. ~16354197463461742010081.000364845458418162495875025

  2. Why is this supposed to be funny?

    1. “and in other news, President Romney just signed his ‘Government Agency Economic Impact’ executive order. According to press secretary Glenn Beck “This Executive order focuses on lost jobs that can be directly or indirectly related to agency actions or inaction. For example, if the EPA constructs a rule that puts 5,000 people of of work in the coal industry then that is how many jobs are removed from that agency. (laughing) Unfortunately, the Executive Order doesn’t work in reverse.”

      1. The “GAEI Act?” Accidentally funny.

        But IMO Romney’s more likely to keep Jay Carney on board than hire Glenn Beck. He wants a person in that role that has the same politics, after all.

        1. for some reason my mind went to The Police’s ‘Carney in a Coal Mine’

          is that pronounced The “Gaia Act”?
          or “Gay Act”?

  3. Racism. Straight up.

    1. Is that Muahmmad? pboh

  4. “And so is the Golden City blackened
    With each step you take in my Hall.
    Marvel at perfection, for it is fleeting.
    You have brought Sin to Heaven
    And doom upon all the world.”

    That’s an Austrian-school economist addressing FDR. I think it might work for the EPA, too.

    1. Hayek was The Maker?

    2. “Blackened”? Oh! Oh! I’ve got this one: Racist!

  5. Jerry Sandusky is flying his giant dollar bill all the way to Mexico.

    1. There in the depths of the earth they dwelled,
      Spreading their taint as a plague, growing in number
      Until they were a multitude.
      And together they searched ever deeper
      Until they found their prize,
      Their god, their betrayer.

      —————–

      The taint of H&R

      1. Thus confronted,
        they chose to be affronted,
        rather than accept the disaster,
        they insisted this isn’t Zoroaster,
        those who would not hail,
        had to be stunted.

        1. An ode to the OWS:

          So sing to the praise of the fellows who laze
          Instead of lambasting the soil;
          The vagabonds gay who lounge by the way,
          Conscientious objectors to toil.
          But lest you should think, by this spatter of ink,
          The Muses still hold me in thrall,
          I’ll round out my rhyme, and (until the next time)
          Work like hell – doing nothing at all.
          -Robert William Service

          1. “Her bouquet cleaved his hardened shell,
            And fondled his muscled heart.
            He imbibed her glistening spell,
            Just before the other shoe fell.”

            Newman: an obscure American poet.

            1. there once was a group of ner’do well’s
              whose protest they never could sell
              the sanitation worker said,
              as he cleaned up their beds
              “Well, historically they ‘occupy’ the worst smell”

              1. roses are yellow
                violets are purple
                poetry sux ass
                and i’m outa cigarettes

    2. Speaking of Sandusky and Penn State, has anyone heard any fundamentalists making the claim that this the PSU situation represents the unmasking of a false prophet? I’m just wondering if people are trying to work this into their end times narrative? It might be especially poingnant for them to note that Paterno is Catholic. I have a coworker who is quite the fundamental/evangelical type who gets a shady look when he strays too close to these topics in conversation. You get the feeling that he has something to say but doesn’t want to say it outside of safe company.

      1. Then end of the world will occur when [name of team I don’t like] wins the [name of competition in the sport in question].

        1. What do fundamentalists do when confronted with the fact that there is not one disparaging word about homosexual activity in the Gospels?

          1. “For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and cleave to his wife; And they twain shall be one flesh: so then they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.”

            1. “And therefore a man will leave his parents and cleave to his significant other of either sex, and the two of them shall be copacetic. And what God hath joined, let no man, women or hermaphrodite put asunder for any reason other than incompatibility.”

              1. Where is the affirmative slam on homosexuality? You are making a big leap – grand canyon sized – if you are going to rely upon those words for the proposition that Jesus AFFIRMATIVELY, UNEQUIVOCALLY CONDEMNED homosexuality.

                1. Not that there’s anything wrong with that, but… (it sort of predates Jesus, BTW)

                  ? If a man lies with a man as one lies with a woman, both of them have done what is detestable. They must be put to death; their blood will be on their own heads. – Leviticus 20:13

            2. For what it’s worth, it was kind of a manufactured challenge (first, eliminate all the books of the Bible that directly address the issue, then find a passage that addresses it).

              Still, that quotation doesn’t exactly disparage homosexuals. If it did, then it would equally disparage the celibate.

              1. Are you referring to my original question?

                If so, so what? Don’t you think that looking to the words attributed to Jesus himself should constitute the final word on a subject for Christians?

                1. But, Libertymike, don’t you remember how Christians all get circumscribed, keep kosher, and stone people?

                  Leviticus is totally relevant!

                  Note: The only time the subject is addressed in the NT is a letter by Paul, which scholars think was not the actual Paul. Also, never understood why Paul’s word was so important when he was the latest arriving apostle and he wasn’t, y’know, Jesus or anything.

                  1. I have a very good Christian friend who, btw, is an anarcho freak. He claims that a true Christian should look to the entirety of the bible and not cherry pick.

                    Its kind of like this old joke about the Manhattan Irish cabby who picked up the Protestant bishop.

                    The bishop barked to the cabby, “take me to Christ Church”.

                    The cabby pulled up in front of St. Patricks’s cathedral.

                    The protestant bishop said, “I told you to take me to Christ Church”.

                    The cabby responded, “listen pal, if he’s not here, he’s not in town”!

                  2. I have a very good Christian friend who, btw, is an anarcho freak. He claims that a true Christian should look to the entirety of the bible and not cherry pick.

                    Its kind of like this old joke about the Manhattan Irish cabby who picked up the Protestant bishop.

                    The bishop barked to the cabby, “take me to Christ Church”.

                    The cabby pulled up in front of St. Patricks’s cathedral.

                    The protestant bishop said, “I told you to take me to Christ Church”.

                    The cabby responded, “listen pal, if he’s not here, he’s not in town”!

                  3. I have a very good Christian friend who, btw, is an anarcho freak. He claims that a true Christian should look to the entirety of the bible and not cherry pick.

                    Its kind of like this old joke about the Manhattan Irish cabby who picked up the Protestant bishop.

                    The bishop barked to the cabby, “take me to Christ Church”.

                    The cabby pulled up in front of St. Patricks’s cathedral.

                    The protestant bishop said, “I told you to take me to Christ Church”.

                    The cabby responded, “listen pal, if he’s not here, he’s not in town”!

                    1. Wow…you really wanted to tell that joke.

                    2. I didn’t get it at first, but after reading that joke three times the humor finally dawned on me!

                    3. Did you hear the one about the guy who told the same joke three times, in honor of the Most Holy Trinity?

                  4. Because Paul “gives [them} that old tyme religion” of misogyny and authoritariansim that is somewhat (not completely) missing from the other NT books.

                  5. “scholars”…heh heh

              2. For there are some eunuchs, who were so born from their mother’s womb: and there are some eunuchs, who were made eunuchs of men: and there are eunuchs, who have made themselves eunuchs for the kingdom of heaven’s sake. He that is able to receive it, let him receive it.

                1. a priest, and a rabbi walk into a bar.

                  The bartender says, “is this some kind of joke?”

            3. “So as to knock boots shall a guy say adios to mom and pop, and move in with his girlfriend of a few months; And they will fuck like rabbits in their new pad; and they will be stuck together so much that people will confuse them for Siamese twins. Thus, what God stuck together with a mix of man-glue and sweat, let no man try to separate without use of a shower or baby oil.”
              Mark 10:7-9 (Sloopy Revised Edition)

              1. (Jesus saith, either marry a woman and be faithful to her, or keep it in your pants and stay celibate. Specifically:)

                “The Pharisees also came unto him, testing him, and saying unto him, Is it lawful for a man to put away his wife for every cause? And he answered and said unto them, Have you not read, that he who made them at the beginning made them male and female, And said, For this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and they two shall be one flesh? Therefore they are no more two, but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let not man put asunder. They said unto him, Why did Moses then command to give a writing of divorcement, and to put her away?
                He said unto them, Moses because of the hardness of your hearts allowed you to put away your wives: but from the beginning it was not so. And I say unto you, Whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication, and shall marry another, commits adultery: and whoever marries her who is put away does commit adultery. His disciples said unto him, If the case of the man be so with his wife, it is not good to marry.”

                11But he said unto them, All men cannot receive this saying, only they to whom it is given.

                12For there are some eunuchs, who were so born from their mother’s womb: and there are some eunuchs, who were made eunuchs of men: and there are eunuchs, who have made themselves eunuchs for the kingdom of heaven’s sake. He that is able to receive it, let him receive it.”

              2. Your church interests me and I would like to subscribe to your newsletter.

          2. What do fundamentalists do when confronted with the fact that there is not one disparaging word about homosexual activity in the Gospels?

            Point out that Leviticus has it covered:

            Thou shalt not lie with mankind, as with womankind: it is an abomination.[2](Leviticus 18:22 KJV)
            If a man also lie with mankind, as he lieth with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination: they shall surely be put to death; their blood shall be upon them.[3](Leviticus 20:13 KJV)

            And then point out this passage from Romans 1:

            ” (26) Because of this, God gave them over to shameful lusts. Even their women exchanged natural relations for unnatural ones. (27) In the same way the men also abandoned natural relations with women and were inflamed with lust for one another. Men committed indecent acts with other men, and received in themselves the due penalty for their perversion.”

            Not agreeing with these passages, BTW, just pointing out how fundies might respond to your question.

          3. Probably the same thing they do when confronted with the fact that there is not one disparaging word about murder in the Gospels.

        2. Cubs win the Series. I mean, we’ve staved off the end times for 105 years, so, we’re due, amirite?

          1. Cubs winning the World Series is the Seventh Sign, dumbass. That’s why their owners always manage to field a loser. They just love mankind too much to see us perish.

            1. So, if the Cubs do win the Series, does that mean Theo Epstein is the Antichrist?

              1. …And that would be news?

            2. I thought it was an abomination to love mankind?

              1. It’s fine because it isn’t “love” love.

        3. I thought that happened when the Saints won the superbowl a few years back.

    3. Ol’ Sandbanana, nuthin’ gets him down!

  6. Needs a dog peeing on the fire hydrant.
    And something funny.

    1. Yeah, so a LEO can come along to hand the guy a parking ticket and shoot the dog.

  7. Bizarre developments in Roswell, NM:

    Religious student group has the custom of distributing gifts (sandwiches, donuts, pencils, candy canes) to students and teachers. One day they distribute model fetuses with info about a prolife pregnancy center. Administrators ban the fetuses as other students engage in fetus-related hijinks and arguments. A federal magistrate judge just upheld the administrators, saying the group should have got permission to distribute the fetus models.

    http://bit.ly/vrGmqF

    1. Meanwhile, the students are awaiting approval for their “bong hits 4 Jesus” figurines.

      1. Jesus was into mushrooms, not weed.

        1. …a different group, the Occupier Gang, leave a big steaming pile of human fecal matter on the Administrator’s desk, while she is out banning the Fetus Gang.

          1. Stanley Steamer!

            1. We prefer to refer to that as the “Cleveland Steamer”!

              Expect to hear from our attorneys!

    2. Now they are being sold as baby aliens at the local tourist traps.

    3. It was offensive because the fetuses looked too much like greys.

    4. Perhaps they thought the fetuses were supposed to represent aliens?

      1. Earlier Roswell stories in Reason.

        DEA agents go to house, wants to do a warrantless search, go away when owners won’t let them in:

        https://reason.com/blog/2011/09…..ses-to-let

        Comparison between GW Bush’s visit to Ireland and his visit to Roswell:

        https://reason.com/archives/200…..-dialogues

  8. Art 101 fail. The shadow of the carpet and the shadow of the hydrant don’t align commensurately to the light source. Also, there should be no shadow on the near side of the right hydrant appendage.

    1. Thus proving that the cartoon, like the moon landing, was fake.

  9. Am I to believe the Drudge Report this morning that the occutards are going to occupy best buy today? Just when I think they can’t get any more stupid they prove me wrong.

    1. Don’t worry, they will be trampled to pulp when the doors open.

      1. That’s what I was thinking.

        A herd of over caffeinated screwballs charging the XBox display at Wal Mart will make a UC Davis Campus cop look like a model of restraint in comparison.

        1. Only a nut would go shopping today. The occutards don’t stand a chance.

          1. My wife….usually a perfectly sensible woman…(please hold any comment about selecting fish as a spouse until later) …is out there every Black Friday.

            I think it can be adequately explained as a female version of the annual deer hunting trip

            1. Opening Day is special, true dat.

        2. Your wish is granted – sort of.

          http://news.yahoo.com/woman-pe…..09506.html

          1. Parga said police were still looking for the woman.
            The store remained open and those not affected by the pepper spray continued shopping.

          2. Every Wal-Mart I’ve ever been in has more cameras than a Las Vegas casino. How in the hell were they not able to find her?

  10. O’Reilly Factor host Bill O’Reilly and Fox News host Megyn Kelly sat down to discuss what really happened at UC Davis on Friday and whether campus police acted appropriately in showering a group of sitting students with pepper spray. Their conclusion? No big deal.
    “Pepper spray, that just burns your eyes, right?” O’Reilly asked Kelly.

    “Right,” Kelly said. “I mean, its like a derivative of actual pepper. It’s a food product, essentially.”

    Exactly! Like jalapeno poppers, or queso dip. Delicious. In fact, pepper spray is about 1,000 times hotter than a jalapeno, Mother Jones reports. But Kelly, to her credit, said the pepper spraying looked like an “abrasive” and “intrusive” act.

    But wait a minute, O’Reilly said. “We don’t have the right to Monday morning quarterback the police,” he said. “Especially at a place like UC Davis, which is a fairly liberal campus.”

    http://tpmdc.talkingpointsmemo…..?ref=fpblg

    1. O’Reily is a fuckwad. And whenever he gets together with Dennis Miller, they both think that they are funnier than they actually are.

      1. I do think Dennis Miller’s conservatism might be a very clever career move for him. His career was rather stuck if not declining, but with this he finds a new niche. In that way he could be likened to O’Reilly himself, who was iirc a ‘regular’ newsreader until he found he could make big bucks reading conservative news.

        1. Yeah, because it is so unlikely that he is simply a conservative.

          1. Naw, that can’t be it, right wing media has told me everyone in hollywood are liberals.

            1. It certainly wasn’t the left wing media that did.

    2. Don’t mind me…I’m just watering my hippies.

      1. I thought that in Davis that act was referred to as “dusting the roses”?

    3. Maybe TPM will start reporting on police brutality now. Maybe link to some of the Balko stories. Or do they only worry about it when the police brutalize the wrong people?

      1. Iirc Balko has a gig with Huffington Post. Wonder why it’s not with National Review Online John?

        Nice try though!

        1. In fact, conservative pubs like NRO and your own fav PJmedia are more likely to have columnists like LAPD cop and police apologist Jack Dunphy.

          Conservative physician, heal thyself!

          1. dunphy is not a police apologist. he writes from the perspective of a beat cop in LA, and of course his views represent his own views, not all beat cops

            what is ironic is that he knows he has to write with a pseudonym because the petty copocrats would try to sabotage his career if they knew who he was.

        2. Good for Huffpo. Perhaps we can talk about them in another thread. In the mean time this is about tpm who have never shown any interest in police brutality until now. The cops could have clubbed tea party people like seals and I doubt Josh Marshal would have cared.

          Yes mng liberals can sometimes be opportunistic hypocrites. Your constant refusal to admit the obvious and defend any liberal anywhere is just pathetic and makes you look like a fool. You would help your credibility a lot if you would just admit the obvious sometimes.

          1. “n the mean time this is about tpm who have never shown any interest in police brutality until now.”

            Citation needed.

            1. But there ISN’T a citation! THAT’S the thing! Didja GET IT!

          2. I imagine like most things you’re completely ignorant on what tpmd reports on and what they don’t.

            The bigger point is that anti-police columns and columnists are more likely to be found on the left than the right.

            1. Like I said, you’re much more likely to have a cop apologist like Dunphy featured on right wing blogs and shows. John would like us to forget all that “weak on crime” beating about the head his fellow “law and order” cons heap on Dems and liberals (remember the old “card-carrying member of the ACLU” stuff? Those won’t charges leveled by libs against cons).

              This is just playing to their audience. Polls consistently show more support for police and less concern about brutality among conservatives…

              http://www.albany.edu/sourcebook/pdf/t223.pdf

              http://www.albany.edu/sourcebo…..022005.pdf

          3. Yes mng liberals can sometimes be opportunistic hypocrites.

            Just liberals, right John?

            Come on, man. The conservative pundits at FoxNews have given wholesale support to the pepper-spraying cops. At least there is some liberal media out there (rightfully) condemning it. Shit, even dunphy took the miraculous step of calling it “unjustified” which is cop-speak for “if a regular person did it, it’d be illegal.”

            1. I don’t see a problem pepper spraying the mentally challenged.

            2. Of course they can be. I wouldn’t go to Fox News for my news on cops any more than I would go to TPM.

              1. The Heritage Foundation (conservative) is on record wanting to curb the police so that their unions can’t include use-of-force issues in collective bargaining. That would mean that these issues would be subject to the ordinary legislative process (subject to the Constitution):

                http://bit.ly/rtRNPD

                1. Key passage:

                  “Americans need police protection against criminals, but the use of force against American citizens is a serious matter. Many Americans have concerns about the excessive use of force and police brutality. Voters’ elected representatives–not closed-door union negotiations–should strike the balance between protecting the rights of U.S. citizens and providing the police with the tools they need to do their job. Congress should specify that the conditions under which law enforcement officers use force is not a term and condition of employment that state and local governments must negotiate.”

                  1. Did the founders concern themselves with “striking a balance”?

                    1. You’re right, the Founders would have supported making the use of force subject to collective bargaining. Which was the issue here, not how to reach the libertarian paradise.

                      The willingness of Heritage to take an “anti-police” position disrupts the narrative that “conservatives always support the police.” Would you be willing to accept Heritage’s good faith if it tries to curb the cops, or is the failure to go for libertarian purism a sign that they basically support the police?

                      And if you blame conservatives for not being pure libertarians, what of progressives?

    4. Don’t have the right? What the fuck does that even mean? And is it because the city is considered left landing that these cops get an extra pass or because they were attacking students on a liberal campus? Does anyone even watch O’Reilly anymore for any reason other than to get pissed off?

      1. I watch it to see what eyebrows Guilfoyle is gonna wear.

    5. Don’t have the right? What the fuck does that even mean? And is it because the city is considered left landing that these cops get an extra pass or because they were attacking students on a liberal campus? Does anyone even watch O’Reilly anymore for any reason other than to get pissed off?

    6. To her credit, Megyn Kelly is hot!

      1. Most women on fox are.

        1. Waaaaaay too many blondes on that network for my liking.

          Where are the hot redheads and brunettes?

          1. My Dad’s in town for the holiday and so he has Fox on. O’Reilly had a bunch of his quiz show episodes on and there were several redheads on filling in for a few of the shows.

            1. Why do they do the quiz show thing when it makes them all look retarded?

          2. Jenna Lee…FTW!!

        2. Why wouldn’t they be….they appear to all have been stamped out in the same skinny blond factory!

        3. True. I should watch Fox more than I do!

    7. I was pepper sprayed once. It was pretty bad, and I wear glasses. Without the cheaters I would’ve been really fucked up.

      1. No idea if it was similar to what the cops in the US use, though.

  11. They have to occupy Best Buy because they need more iPads.

    1. I hear that they taste pretty good. The IPads….not the occupiers.

      1. Well, marinate an occutard in pepper spray and it might taste ok.

        1. I’m not sure there’s that much Daves Insanity Sauce available.

  12. No links this morning? Well, I can see that you don’t want cheering up, Riggs. C’mon, Donny, let’s get us a lane.

  13. Not just liberals, conservatives, libertarians also demonstrate economic ignorance when it challenges their ideology

    BACK IN JUNE 2010, I published a Wall Street Journal op-ed arguing that the American left was unenlightened, by and large, as to economic matters. Responding to a set of survey questions that tested people’s real-world understanding of basic economic principles, self-identified progressives and liberals did much worse than conservatives and libertarians…But one year later, in May 2011, Buturovic and I published a new scholarly article reporting on a new survey. It turned out that I needed to retract the conclusions I’d trumpeted in The Wall Street Journal. The new results invalidated our original result: under the right circumstances, conservatives and libertarians were as likely as anyone on the left to give wrong answers to economic questions.

    http://www.theatlantic.com/mag…..-you/8713/

    1. Bailey beat you to this by about a week.

      1. Yeah, sorry, I pretty much only read the morning links these days so I didn’t know.

    2. Wow who knew?

      If those who identify as conservative, liberal and libertarian are giving the wrong answers we get the right answers where again?

      1. The answer of course is ….Paul Krugman.

        [ducks….and runs quickly away in terror!]

        1. Yeah…yours is better!

          The answer of course is ….goverment bureaucrats.

          [ducks….and runs slowly away in terror after filling out numerous forms and documents!]

      2. It’s economics, fish, all the answers are correct answers.

        1. I’d like to resubmit my response.

          The answer of course is …….TOP MEN.

          [Stands there looking confused]

  14. Well, I see we have decided to make a mockery of Friday Funnies by turning it into Morning Links. Take every complaint I’ve ever made about the commercialization of Christmas and tweak them a little in your head and apply them to this situation.

  15. The lack of morning links is bull because I’m pretty sure that it would take us less than thirty minutes, as the comments section, to assemble a good selection and post them.

    1. Occupy Reason. We want our free links!!!

      1. The editors are 1% of the site’s visitors, but they make all of the site’s official posts!

        We are the 99%!

    2. Occupy Reason. We want our free links!!!

      1. I mean, I’d need a staff member to post them, and I don’t know if any are around.

        1. Umm, you didn’t need a staff member to post that.

          1. Well, my idea was that we send a compilation of links to the staff to get an official morning links, because those often attract more buzz than the shit-horrible Friday funnies.

    3. Occupy Reason. We want our free links!!!

      1. You can say THAT again!

      2. What do we want….LINKS! When do we want them…..NOW!

  16. Justin Tucker kicked a 40-yard field goal as time expired to give the Longhorns a 27-25 victory over Texas A&M on Thursday night in the likely end of a more than century-old rivalry.

    Texas A&M’s official fight song bids adieu to the Longhorns with the line “so long to the orange and white.” But the Aggies didn’t really want to say goodbye.

    They’d hoped to continue the game, which began in 1894 and has been played every year since 1915, but the Longhorns said their schedule is full through 2018.

    http://www.washingtonpost.com/…..story.html

    1. How the fuck do you set your schedule 7 fucking years in advance?

      This kind of shit is why I’m not a huge fan of college football.

      1. There is no incentive to add your in-state rival as a non-conference game, they might beat you…

        1. …And therefore gain a recruiting edge?

          1. That cuts both ways. There’s a 50-50 chance you give that edge to the other guy by losing.

            1. That was supposed to be the implication of my question.

              1. Ah, I see now. Noted.

    2. I wonder how many kids have been brutalized in these precious football programs.

      1. That’s a good question. I imagine a not insignificant number get injured for life from college ball injuries. And for no pay. Just because there is an effective monopoly on professional football which has an exclusive anti-trust raping agreement with the NCAA…

        1. I’d actually like to see the government break up the NFL into a NFC and AFC run seperately, but with a Super Bowl at the end between the two leagues. What we would lose in interconference play we would gain in innovations made in the competition between the two…

          1. But with collusion its so much easier to get all the best amateur players!

            1. The irony for liberals is that the only reason the NFL is allowed to get away with their collusion is…due to the labor exemption for anti-trust laws!

              1. Don’t forget the role played by the jury in USFL case.

                And Howard Cosell.

                1. I blame Bush

        2. That’s a good question. I imagine a not insignificant number get injured for life from college ball injuries. And for no pay. Just because there is an effective monopoly on professional football which has an exclusive anti-trust raping agreement with the NCAA…

          The kids choose to go to college. They choose to trade their athletic skill for a free education. And while the anti-trust exemption the NCAA enjoys allows them to set rules (for colleges who choose to join their association free from coercion), the NFL’s anti-trust exemption and the NFLPA’s CBA forces an 18 year old to wait to enter the workforce.

          And the college kids are trading that for a education up to $200k in value.

          You know who really get fucked? High school athletes.

    3. As a Texas-Ex it just breaks my heart to win the final game against a team who is our 2nd biggest rivalry. Hope the Aggies are gearing up for their annual tilt with Arkansas. I’m sure that will just blow up the recruiting west of I-35. Goodbye male cheerleaders dressed like ice cream men. Your tears were delicious last night.

      1. Poor Aggies. So butthurt that Texas won’t play them anymore even though they left the Big 12 to specifically get away from the Longhorns.

  17. I would think conservatives, or anyone, should be bummed about all of this conference re-alignment. Regionalism and traditional rivalries are going to go away. I ask, what will the new super-conferences be named? You can’t have a Big East with an Idaho team in it, that’s laughable. Will they all be “numerical” named conferences now?

    1. I mean, if you mean conservative in the whole, “Would like to conserve things as they are”, yes, I agree.

      Also… is there any way to force the colleges to stop being retarded and just create regional conferences, with smaller schools in that region (San Jose State) getting a number or something next to their name?

      1. Well, even in the sense that in conservative thought there is a common and long held idea about the importance of place, regions and traditions. These new superconferences don’t recognize any importance to any of that.

        1. Maybe they don’t recognize because it isn’t actually important.

        2. You might think so of the conservatives, but just wait, it will be a lame-brained neo-progressive that will want to start “anti-competitive” antitrust actions against the conferences and teams. For the people.

  18. This is just effed up.
    http://www.metro.co.uk/news/88…..TO=socialm

    1. I know, right? Everyone knows that the microwave was invented to cook human babies faster!

    2. I know, right? Everyone knows that the microwave was invented to cook human babies faster!

      1. I love a good California cheeseburger.

    3. she heard a noise ‘like a crisp packet being popped’, followed by a loud ‘screeching noise’.

      Suddenly a shot rang out.

    4. Just because they’re gentically homo sap, doesn’t make them human.

      1. genetically. fuck.

  19. As there are no morning links (yet) I will just offer this teaser [SPOILER ALERT, R C!]:

    Krugabe is still crazy. Remember, boys and girls; highly compensated executives of non-financial corporations have no impact on job creation. NONE, I tell you!

    1. I love the whole “job creators” and “job producers” meme, as it acknowledges how unequal bargaining power is between wealthy employers and poor employees. The former have, make and bestow the job…

      1. That’s some fine obfuscation you got there. The imbalance of bargaining power you bemoan is just a function of supply and demand. If you want to have a better bargaining position acquire a useful skill that few people have that is essential to the production of a good or a service.

        1. And your idea fits with this whole “job creator” meme, how?

          1. Perhaps I misunderstood your post. Long bouts of extended family gatherings can make me antagonistic.

            1. Everyone knows that only givernment creates jobs.

          2. When a job creator and a worker enter negotiations, the job creator has the upper hand,because when he walked into the room, there weren’t 50 more of him waiting for their turn to interview the worker.

            That’s just the free market.

            1. Free agency – how does that work?

      2. OTOH, when there are 3 open programming jobs at your current employer and at least 5 others you could get tomorrow… Hell yeah, I want a raise and I’ll leave if I have to to get it.

  20. unequal bargaining power

    Boo fucking hoo.

    1. Ah, the celebration of the powerful over the less powerful, one of my favs of the reactionary mind!

      Let’s remember this one the next time you are bitching about some people having more political power than others!

      1. Political power is not earned. It is bestowed by voters . Big diff.

    2. i smell social justice…
      in the Posts of all places, its not fair!

  21. More weather/climate fun!

    http://wattsupwiththat.com/201…..e-problem/

    1. the Occupeer ate my climate data…

      1. the Occupeer ate my climate data…

        …and now someone is desperately trying to shit out legislation.

  22. “You have no power here. Be gone, before somebody drops a house on YOU.”

  23. How to End the Black Friday Madness

    In recent years, large retail chains have been competing to be the first to open their doors on Black Friday. The race is driven by the theory that stores with the earliest start time capture the most buyers and make the most sales. For many years, stores opened at a reasonable hour. Then, some started opening at 5 a.m., prompting complaints from employees about having to go to sleep early on Thanksgiving and miss out on time with their families. But retailers ignored those complaints, because their earlier start time proved so successful in luring customers away from rival outlets.

    Black Friday (or, more accurately, Black Thursday Night) is only hours away, so it’s too late to do anything about early openings this year. But we can start thinking about what can be done to protect our future Thanksgivings. Many societies employ “blue laws” ? laws that mandate closing times, usually on Sundays. But there is a simpler, more flexible, way to approach this problem. Inspired by the 9-9-9 proposal of the Republican presidential contender Herman Cain, I call it the 6-6-6 plan ? an across-the-board 6 percent national sales tax (on top of any existing state and local sales taxes) in effect from 6 p.m. on Thanksgiving to 6 a.m. on Black Friday.

    http://www.nytimes.com/2011/11…..ef=opinion

    1. There oughta be a law…

      1. Why does it have to be *black* Friday?

        Why not have it be “Honky Friday” and have 50% off on all Wonder Bread and mayonnaise? Black people will stay away and the white devils will trample each other to death.

        1. You forgot to add discounts on Polka music and the comedic stylings of Wayne Brady.

    2. Well, if anyone would know how to run a profitable into unprofitability, it would be the NYT.

  24. Also, did anyone else hear that there was “A Lady Gaga Thanksgiving” on ABC last night?

    I filed it under “And we wonder why the terrorists hate us”.

    1. Lady Gaga’s totally hot and totally talented and blows everybody else out of the water!

      But Justin Bieber is just the best!!! He’s such a great role model!

      Now the terrorists can hate Canada, too!

  25. This is like the worst chat room ever.

    1. How ya doin’?

      1. Email a “picture” and I’ll tell you.

  26. uggsoutletcalifornia
    [url=http://uggoutlet-aus.com /uggbootssaskatoon.htm]ugg boots saskatoon[/url]

    1. Anonyspammer SF’ed the link! My day is made.

      1. …you chose this handle?

  27. Way to park by a fire hydrant, EPA

  28. More on The Settled Science…
    http://www.newscientist.com/ar…..ought.html

  29. a jew, a homosexual, and a black guy walk into a bar

    the bartender says, “get the fuck out”

  30. The race is driven by the theory that stores with the earliest start time capture the most buyers and make the most sales.

    Those poor, poor shoppers. Everyone knows advertising is exactly the same as zombie mind control.

    They’re completely unable to make their own decisions as to what is in their best interest (or the value of their time). They must be shepherded and protected from themselves by their betters.

    1. I THREW THE DISCOUNT ON THE GROOOOOOOOUND

      I’M NAWT PAWT OF YUH SYSTUM

      I DON’T NEED YUH CHARUH-TEE!

      *Joins Occupy protest, shits on sidewalk*

      THE MORAL OF THUH STAWRY — DON’T TRUST THUH SYSTUM!

  31. Here’s the halftime score from the Drudgereport.


    Woman pepper sprays other Black Friday shoppers ‘to gain an upper hand’…

    ‘Competitive shopping’ turns into chaos…

    VIDEO: Mayhem over $2 waffle maker…

    Two women injured in brawl…

    Woman shot, robbed in SC after midnight shopping trip to WALMART…

    NC police use pepper spray to break up melee…

    VIDEO…

    GUNFIRE ERUPTS AT MALL…

    As soon as we find a way to hold a draft and get a few stadiums (stadia?) built we’ll have a league. Your Competitive Shopping Network!

    Anybody know if Hank jr. is available to sing the theme song?

    1. Is there a Black Friday video game?

      1. A video game for both sexes:

        Shopping with Extreme Prejudice, OR, “so that b^&** thinks she can get in front of me, does she? Well, my UZI here has a different idea…”

        1. ….and in other news! NOTHING ELSE HAPPENED!

          http://www.myfoxphoenix.com/dp…..t-11252011

          1. The article (as opposed to the headline) gives the testimony of anti-police witnesses. I thought this was Fox, the glorifiers of cops!

    2. Can we also get a Fantasy Competitive Shopper Network?

    3. Yeah… if 2 deaths and 15 injuries are all that happens today, statistically it’s actually safer than every other day of the year. I’m ok with this.

  32. Bitch Bitch Bitch Bitch Bitch Bitch Bitch
    Moan Moan Moan Moan Moan Moan
    MothercuntJones/PuffHo/MoreoSameNothingButCrap/ToiletPaperMorons/other leftard “news” sources agree with me, therefore everyone who doesn’t agree with my Communist rants must be a racist nun-beating reactionary!

    1. Oh shit, I thought there was two of you.

  33. I’m a sockpuppet, so I agree with everything MNG just said! And while I’m at it, here’s some totally irrelevant anti-Christian bullshit I picked up from my fellow cocksuckers at the anti-wealth OWS bitchfest.

    1. Man, you got that dick Au H20 good! Nailed your impression! I fucking hate that guy.

      Also, I am leading the daily board with a +1, bitches.

  34. I don’t think this cartoon is very funny.

    1. You hear that Payne?!

      When you’ve lost P.O.G. you’ve lost everything.

  35. Thanks for coming folks! Have a safe drive home!

    1. Are you still on the air?

      1. Is that the fire-hydrant speaking to the EPA guy?

  36. AuH20 — how’s Skyrim? I decided to forsake Elder Scrolls, play some Dragon Age and Mass Effect, then Battlefield 2, THEN Oblivion, and Skyrim can wait six months for some mods.

    1. It’s going well. New Thieves Guild is a bit more like the mob than last game. Also, it’s really sad when you can beat a dragon (thanks to the help of all surrounding NPCs) but a motherfucking bear rips you in two in a second. Fucking bears.

      Also, it is kind of fun/annoying/terrifying when a dragon shows up and you have to run in to the nearest structure with unknown NPCs to fight it.

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