Friday Funnies

The GOP 2012 field

Henry Payne | 10.28.2011 7:00 AM

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Mr Whipple 14 years ago

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ILtxKWHrGyQ
1. smz 14 years ago
  
  that's pretty good. catchy.
  1. Whitest Indian You Know 14 years ago
    
    Hitler is completely reformed now.
    
    Whitest Kids You Know | Hitler Rap
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gewdaLQ31lo
    1. Fatty Bolger 14 years ago
      
      He holds his own against Darth Vader, too.
2. Warty 14 years ago
  
  The looping would make this more like industrial. There's a genre name I haven't used in a while.
  1. Looping is Loopy 14 years ago
    
    Here's real industrial music so fine even your parents will enjoy:
    
    NIN | Everyday is exactly the same
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NoCrr7AlveM&
    1. Joe M 14 years ago
      
      That's not industrial. It's alt-pop-electro-metal, totally different.
      1. Bucky 14 years ago
        
        Mr. Whipple yoo hast made mein day!
        
        i just want to know whos a$$ he was bitch slapping. B.H.O.s?
    2. smz 14 years ago
      
      see NON
a penny a day keeps Obama away 14 years ago

Ron Paul can't even get face time in a cartoon debate.
1. F Hart 14 years ago
  
  KOCHTOPUS!!!
  1. a penny a day keeps Obama away 14 years ago
    
    SAVE ENERGY - FART IN A JAR!!!
2. WWNGD? 14 years ago
  
  I was wondering who was missing. Perhaps Payne had nothing to mock about Paul.
  1. JohnD 14 years ago
    
    Payne is a fucking idiot. Every Republican candidate (except maybe Ron Paul) would be a much better choice than Obama
3. Nicolas 14 years ago
  
  That was my first, thought, too.
Dekedin 14 years ago

What is up with Cain in that picture? He looks like Emperor Zurg.
1. sage 14 years ago
  
  I thought he looked like a black Hypno-toad.
  1. JW 14 years ago
    
    All hail the Hypno-Cain.
    
    BRRRRZZZZGGHGHGHGHBRRRRRZZZZGHGHGHBRRRRRRRRZZZGHGHGHGH
    1. Groovus Maximus 14 years ago
      
      Is that why Bachmann looks Goth? Or is it Emo? I can never keep up. Either way, she looks pretty downtrodden with all that black lipstick.
      1. SugarFree 14 years ago
        
        In your medical opinion, what would be the complications that might arise from farting into a jar?
        
        Groovus Maximus 14 years ago
        
        Are you asking for a "friend", Saccharin Man? Which I would have a hard time believing, given your legendary, insulin deficient and empathy lacking disposition.
        
        SugarFree 14 years ago
        
        I wouldn't call him a "friend" exactly....
        
        rather 14 years ago
        
        I could save it for later....
        
        mad libertarian guy 14 years ago
        
        A better question is whether the smell will remain, or perhaps even intensify, after being trapped in a jar.
    2. Zach 14 years ago
      
      Finally, an authoritative source for the official spelling of the Hypnotoad noise!
  2. Proprietist 14 years ago
    
    If Johnson and Paul aren't in the actual race, I say we start a write-in campaign for Hypno-toad. Who's with me?
capitol l 14 years ago

Chip Bok:[PENISPEOPLE PENISPEOPLE PENISPEOPLE]

Henry Payne:[LABELS LABELS LABELS]

Reason Reader: [ L O L ]
1. db 14 years ago
  
  Teh winz.
WTF 14 years ago

You know who else said "nein"?
1. a penny a day keeps Obama away 14 years ago
  
  Right before ten.
2. Name Nomad 14 years ago
  
  Arnold Schwarzenegger?
3. Me 14 years ago
  
  Nein. Who?
4. neoteny 14 years ago
  
  The German spy who went into a pub in England in 1942.
  
  German spy: I would like to have two Martinis, please.
  
  Bartender: Dry?
  
  German spy: Nein, zwei! Du bist ein dummkopf!
Fist of Etiquette 14 years ago

Plaid shirt buttoned all the way up and backwards ball cap? Way to stereotype Hispanic GOP voters.
1. capitol l 14 years ago
  
  Wouldn't he be saying: "A-D-M", if he were Hispanic?
  1. WTF 14 years ago
    
    Archer Daniels Midland is not God, you know.
    1. Patricia Woertz 14 years ago
      
      That's Goddess to you.
      1. Migrant Farm Workers 14 years ago
        
        We worship our mighty overlords!
  2. Fist of Etiquette 14 years ago
    
    GOP Hispanics assimilate, Cap.
    1. PIRS 14 years ago
      
      So .... I take it you have never been to Miami ...
      
      I am not saying they all wear ballcaps and plaid shirts but I am saying there are many GOP voting Hispanics in Miami and elsewhere in Florida who do not "assimilate". And why should they? Why should they have to be exactly like everyone else? This notion that to be an American you have to speak a certain language and dress in a certain way is absurd.
      1. Fist of Etiquette 14 years ago
        
        One of us just out-sarcasmed the other.
        
        PIRS 14 years ago
        
        🙂
      2. The Borg 14 years ago
        
        You make "assimilate" sound like a bad thing.
Bee Tagger 14 years ago

I see that Perry is doing an Asian impression, I just don't know why.
1. WTF 14 years ago
  
  So he's actually saying 'Moleman'?
  1. cynical 14 years ago
    
    He's warning us about Waxman?
2. Jeff 14 years ago
  
  Republicans don't need a reason to be racist! They just are! LOL!
3. Perry 14 years ago
  
  In this contest I'm turning Japanese.
  1. WTF 14 years ago
    
    I want a doctor to
    take your picture
    So I can look at you from inside as well
capitol l 14 years ago

How to really scare people on halloween.
1. why? 14 years ago
  
  Fart in a jar?
2. Jerry 14 years ago
  
  This one is approved by Rick Perry: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bLy8EU92KPU
$6M RoboTorso 14 years ago

Bok and Payne should collaborate and draw a cartoon of labeled penises.
1. And then... 14 years ago
  
  fart in a jar?
Warty 14 years ago

Wait, is he calling Bachmann a Nazi?
1. Mr. Bimmler 14 years ago
  
  She's right, you know.
  1. Lutherans for ya 14 years ago
    
    Hitler couldn't have risen without deep Lutheran support.
    
    Bachmann was a longtime member of Salem Lutheran Church in Stillwater.
    
    Daniel Johah Goldhagen's book, Hitler's Willing Executioners, he writes:
    
    "One leading Protestant churchman, Bishop Martin Sasse published a compendium of Martin Luther's antisemitic vitriol shortly after Kristallnacht's orgy of anti-Jewish violence. In the foreword to the volume, he applauded the burning of the synagogues and the coincidence of the day: 'On November 10, 1938, on Luther's birthday, the synagogues are burning in Germany.' The German people, he urged, ought to heed these words 'of the greatest antisemite of his time, the warner of his people against the Jews.'"
    
    Source:
    Martin Luther's dirty little book
    http://nobeliefs.com/
    1. JackC 14 years ago
      
      Wow, just wow.
      
      Is the war-lord Mohammed free game too?
      1. Islamists 14 years ago
        
        Only if you want to be blowed up.
        
        Bucky 14 years ago
        
        that site is misnamed, should be called 'Noambeliefs'...
PIRS 14 years ago

Just like this cartoon, Time Magazine ignores Ron Paul in a poll it conducted matching Hillary Clinton against all of the major GOP contenders - except Ron Paul.

First they ignore you, then they laugh at you, then they fight you, then you win.
1. PIRS 14 years ago
  
  Here is the TIME story
  
  http://swampland.time.com/2011.....-of-power/
  1. Joe M 14 years ago
    
    They're trying to keep it in the ignore stage indefinitely.
    1. PIRS 14 years ago
      
      Besides the fact that he supports the constitution and actually understands economics, another benefit of a Ron Paul victory would be the enjoyment of watching the cognitive dissonance on the part of the Jurassic-era media. It would be fun watching them try to explain why they pretended he did not even exist for so very long.
      1. Cabeza de Vaca 14 years ago
        
        They wouldn't explain why they ignored Ron Paul. The media would be to busy attacking and demonizing him. If Dr. Paul gets aware close to winning or getting nominated you will see all hell unleashed on him.
        
        PIRS 14 years ago
        
        I am expecting a whilrwind of hate directed towards him (with the possible exception of Jon Stewart who at least wants to be fair to the man and who called out the Jurrassic-media for ignoring him). I think it will backfire. Much of the public is alreay aware there is a bias in the Jurrassic-media. Thier bias however, will become so blatantly obvious that even those who now think the Jurrassic-media at least tries to be somewhat neutral will see them for what they are. They will self-destruct in a way no previous industry has.
2. Proprietist 14 years ago
  
  You know, this is a cartoon obviously making fun of the crappy candidates. Do you really want Ron Paul included under that umbrella? Or do you just want to spoil the humor by the "voter" coming to the conclusion that Ron Paul is the answer to all his dreams?
  1. PIRS 14 years ago
    
    There are ways he could have been included in the cartoon. For example, with a little more thought put into it there could be a door in the background and a small (because he is far away)Ron Paul could be banging to get in because he is locked out. This is only one example.
Emperor Impervious 14 years ago

That looks more like Pelosi than Bachmann.
1. sarcasmic 14 years ago
  
  I was thinking the same thing.
2. Nancy Pelosi 14 years ago
  
  Are you serious?
  1. Emperor Impervious 14 years ago
    
    Yes, serially serious.
$6M RoboTorso 14 years ago

Where the hell did "fart in a jar" come from? Is this a White Indian/Rather thing?
1. Joe M 14 years ago
  
  I think it's someone trying to force-create a meme without following proper protocols.
  1. rather 14 years ago
    
    I was only trying to force-create methane in a container.
2. JOhnny MAckson 14 years ago
  
  Personally, I prefer the "Dutch Oven". Scare quotes! LOL
  
  Jess
  http://www.anymouse.com
  1. Almanian 14 years ago
    
    Oh, Anon Bot, how I've missed you
3. White Indian likum only... 14 years ago
  
  Whiskey in a Jar
  Metallica
  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OIh3nO6-V_A
4. Yuno Hoo 14 years ago
  
  Where the hell did "fart in a jar" come from?
  
  Uranus.
  
  ** bites lip **
5. rather 14 years ago
  
  I'd appreciate if you'd leave me out of this conversation. When I fart, I don't do it in a jar. I inhale deeply and dream of my days back on the farm.
  1. rather 14 years ago
    
    OK, you spoofer. I HATE SPOOFS.
    1. fartman 14 years ago
      
      *drippy runny fart*
      1. Kevin 14 years ago
        
        *drippy runny fart*
        
        It's called a "shart"
Clich? Bandit 14 years ago

I made it in with you east coast bastards ... YEAH!!! Bring on the morning links.
mr simple 14 years ago

So Cain's coffee represents the GOP? Does that make them black and strong or bitter and murky?
1. PIRS 14 years ago
  
  There are three mugs on the table that look mostly alive. One reads GOP clearly. On another mug I can read what looks like the letters "OP" as though the mug is somewhat to the side but two letters are still visable from our perspective. I think they are supposed to simply be official GOP coffe mugs provided to all of the invited candidates (Ron Paul was apparently not invited to this event).
  1. mr simple 14 years ago
    
    You're no fun anymore.
    1. PIRS 14 years ago
      
      sorry - OK, your right 🙂
  2. Bucky 14 years ago
    
    please stop...
    
    i'm still having trouble with your earlier post that had "benefit", "Ron Paul", and "victory" in the same sentence...
    1. PIRS 14 years ago
      
      Bucky,
      
      I do not know how these words traumatized you as a child but I do know that spending time with a qualified psychologist can help. I recommend it. It is not good to carry around such baggage all the time. Please get the help you need.
      1. Bucky 14 years ago
        
        touchy, touchy...
        
        i though all the candidates were fair game, including Heir Doctor...
        
        PIRS 14 years ago
        
        "touchy, touchy..."
        
        I wasn't the one who was "having trouble with" certain words. I was just providing some advice. All of the candidates ARE fair game. What is your point? So far you have not engaged him on his positions or his voting record. You simply were "having trouble with" certain words being in a sentence together. Do you wish to actually engage in a debate or do you prefer ignoring him or sticking your head in the sand?
2. Hank 14 years ago
  
  It makes the GOP the firm white barrier that is (for now!) containing the strong black substance.
sarcasmic 14 years ago

You know who else said 'Nein! Nein! Nein'?
1. Joe M 14 years ago
  
  Ja ja ja.
  1. WTF 14 years ago
    
    Tora! Tora! Tora!
  2. sarcasmic 14 years ago
    
    I heard that Zsa Zsa Gabor changed her name to Ilene after having her leg amputated.
    1. Zsa Gabor 14 years ago
      
      I deny that.
      1. Almanian 14 years ago
        
        We're all deniers now
2. Almanian 14 years ago
  
  Henry Ford? Wait, no, he said, "Nine, nine, nine..."
Fist of Etiquette 14 years ago

Why did Romney bring his illegal gardener with him, anyway?
1. WTF 14 years ago
  
  FTW!
2. Roscoe Meeny 14 years ago
  
  I'd say the shirt indicates he's Canadian.
  1. Fist of Etiquette 14 years ago
    
    Canadians can't be illegal? Racist.
    1. Roscoe Meeny 14 years ago
      
      Everybody knows it is impossible for Canadians to be illegal. Show me just one illegal Canadian.
      
      And don't try that Justin Bieber crap again.
      1. Fist of Etiquette 14 years ago
        
        The way he brought that fever across the border, that has to violate some kind of quarantine regulation.
        
        The Art-P.O.G. 14 years ago
        
        Plus, that hair is a weapon.
        
        Fist of Etiquette 14 years ago
        
        Yeah, a weapon of mass panties removal.
        
        PIRS 14 years ago
        
        "Yeah, a weapon of mass panties removal."
        
        The TSA could use a tool like that in their arsenal. It would make their jobs easier and the lines go faster.
3. Bee Tagger 14 years ago
  
  He didn't want Perry to be the only person falling asleep on stage.
P Brooks 14 years ago

Where are the footprints?
1. Almanian 14 years ago
  
  Where there are no footprints, that was where Warty carried you
  1. The Art-P.O.G. 14 years ago
    
    Classic...you win all sorts of points, Almanian.
Mongo 14 years ago

GOP kartoon name tags need to have some letters written backwards, Payne --such as the N or S.
WWNGD? 14 years ago

Ohhhhh, I get this cartoon, their coffee tastes bad.
Almanian 14 years ago

"Done, but with errors on page"

Starting with the cartoon. Late start today (fucking WORK), mornin...afternoon, Reason.

Back to work.

PS If I were sage, I would say, "HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!"
Just Plain Phillip 14 years ago

Ron Paul ignored again! Media blackout here too! LOL
1. Proprietist 14 years ago
  
  As most of us here are Johnson fans, "Ron Paul is being ignored" is not really a cause celebre for us. Compare Ron Paul's coverage, debate invites, name recognition, etc. to Johnson's and then we'll talk about who's really being ignored.
  
  And as Reason covers Ron Paul more (and more favorably) than most of the rest of the media, I think Ron Paul fans' grievances here ring hollow.
  1. Almanian 14 years ago
    
    What's this "most of us" stuff, Kemosabe?
  2. HEAVYstarch 14 years ago
    
    Gary Johnson is a great candidate and I would vote for him if Ron Paul wasn't running.
    
    However GJ is in exactly the same position Ron Paul was in 4 years ago.
    
    Uninvited to debates.
    Virtually ignored by the media (this is still happening to Paul even though he is a top tier candidate).
    
    I honestly think that GJ should immediately drop out of the race and fervently back Ron Paul. Their subtle differences are nothing compared to their astounding resemblance on most issues.
    
    The truth of the matter is that Ron Paul put in the work in 2008's bid to setup his campaign this time around.
    
    With Gary's help I think we could catapult a libertarian candidate to the top 1 or 2 position.
    
    However if GJ continues to linger, much like Ron Paul in 2008, it will diminish Paul's likely success but will get GJ nowhere else in this race.
    
    If someone close to Gary Johnson's campaign is reading this please consider this move as critical.
    1. DLM 14 years ago
      
      I honestly think that GJ should immediately drop out of the race and fervently back Ron Paul.
      
      I'm sure he will when he's finished with his own ego trip.
  3. Robert 14 years ago
    
    Speak for yourself. I'm not interested in candidates who aren't running for the Libertarian nomination.
Drave Robber 14 years ago

I didn't know people can have partial differential ? in their names. Or is it Georgian letter ? (m)?
Nicolas 14 years ago

Sadly, the posts to The Weekly Vice site are of a generally higher quality than those to reason.com.
1. Almanian 14 years ago
  
  PWNED!
rather 14 years ago

Oh I wish I were a Oscar Mayer spunk monkey....
Joshua Corning 14 years ago

WHAT!?!?!

Politicians tearing each other apart in order to vie of power!??!

What is this a fucking democracy?!?!

THE HORROR!
RAMON H LEIGH 14 years ago

It's very obvious that the only GOP candidate who cannot be taken lightly is Gingrich. He speaks directly to the issues and with an all encompassing knowledge that none of the others approach, much less equal. Oh, I'd say Newt is about three times smarter than most of the others, but 4 times smarter than Ron Paul, who simply looks confused these days.
1. rather 14 years ago
  
  Newt always looks like he wants to fart in a jar - I know that look, I have it twice or more a day.
design jwldld 14 years ago

thanks

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