Joe Biden Prepares to Battle A Mongolian Wrestler

Peter Suderman | 8.22.2011 3:09 PM

Ladies and gentlemen, the Vice President of the United States:

Biden is on a diplomatic mission to Alderaan Mongolia.

Via New York's Daily Intel.

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Colin 14 years ago

Genghis Khan't.
1. Kwix 14 years ago
  
  First post and already the thread has been won.
  1. Prediction 14 years ago
    
    We'll comment anyway.
2. Tulpa 14 years ago
  
  Is it me, or does Biden look a tad overdressed for this match?
  1. Paul 14 years ago
    
    Biden's clothes are velcro-fastened. One sweep of his hands reveals the veep's lithe, oiled body beneath.
Tulpa 14 years ago

Admit it -- you'll be sorry when Biden's gone.
1. Hugh Akston 14 years ago
  
  I would sign a petition to make Joe Biden Vice-President-for-life.
  1. The Thinking Man's NASCAR 14 years ago
    
    Make it ceremonial Vice President, so that he's not in the presidential line of succession, and I would sign on, as well.
    1. Tulpa 14 years ago
      
      That's good. Maybe we could make his role more explicit by making him Clown Laureate or something.
2. Rerun 14 years ago
  
  You'll be sorry when Biden's Cheney's Gore's Quayle's gone.
  1. Paul 14 years ago
    
    I don't uhh, I don't feel sorry Cheney's gone.
3. Joey Biden 14 years ago
  
  I can count to potato!
Scruffy Nerfherder 14 years ago

Where's the photos of Joe getting violated in a yurt?
1. Hugh Akston 14 years ago
  
  Suppressed by the media. SugarFree should have the slashfic up after lunch.
2. Paul 14 years ago
  
  Where's the photos of Joe getting violated in a yurt?
  
  Where's the Steve Smith post describing it?
Brett L 14 years ago

I think that's just his usual stance. Also, for safety's sake, I'm sure they picked a wrestler who spoke no English. That way when Uncle Joe put his foot inevitably in his mouth, there was no danger of the big guy understanding.
1. Karl Hungus 14 years ago
  
  Stupidity is the universal language. The Mongolian reads him loud and clear.
The Immaculate Trouser 14 years ago

Pictured: diplomacy.
Res Publica Americana 14 years ago

Mongolian dude behind Biden's probably going to spend the next few months crying himself to sleep. Being a witness to such colossal retardation must have been enormously traumatic.
1. Longtime Lurker 14 years ago
  
  Being a witness to such colossal retardation...
  
  ...hasn't hurt me at all. All. All.
  1. Res Publica Americana 14 years ago
    
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v.....e=youtu.be
    1. Warty 14 years ago
      
      It's especially good since it's inconvenient to watch youtube videos on smartphones.
      1. Episiarch 14 years ago
        
        I wonder what her data plan is like?
        
        Warty 14 years ago
        
        I'm sure she's paying by the kilobyte, since she's an idiot.
        
        Longtime Lurker 14 years ago
        
        Butthurt much?
        
        Warty 14 years ago
        
        You're not fooling anyone, rectal, you stupid whore. Just accept that you're banned and fucking go away already. Moron.
        
        JW 14 years ago
        
        My ignore list is going to be several feet long, by the time this is spasm over.
Pro Libertate 14 years ago

We've had so many stupid vice presidents, yet Biden transcends them all. A professional among amateurs, so to speak.

I knew Obama was a doofus the instant he named Biden as a running mate.
1. Brett L 14 years ago
  
  I'd write a book on him called Obama's Fool, but it would need a subtitle. The man has a Shakespearean ability to fuckup a situation. 500 years from now, nobody will believe he was real. They'll think the stories are about an archetype of a politician like "Crazy Eddie" stories to the Moties.
  1. Pro Libertate 14 years ago
    
    Biden His Time?
    1. Brett L 14 years ago
      
      Nice. I was thinking The Only Idiot in Obama's Administration Who Didn't Cost Us $500B. At first I thought that might be unfair to one of the other cabinet members, but I drew a blank on who that might be.
      1. Pro Libertate 14 years ago
        
        Or The Dude A'Bidens? Little clunky, perhaps.
        
        Ska 14 years ago
        
        Is there a pic of Biden in a bathrobe and Wayfarers floating around somewhere?
        
        Pro Libertate 14 years ago
        
        Probably.
  2. some guy 14 years ago
    
    So, all Vice-presidential fuck-ups from this time period will be attributed to a supposedly mythical "Joe Biden". I suppose by then the name will have been changed somewhat. "Joy Bitten" maybe?
    1. Pro Libertate 14 years ago
      
      Bi-Dong?
    2. Brett L 14 years ago
      
      Yeah, I see some mashup of Quayle/Gore/Cheney/Biden that wants desperately to rule the world but can't ever seem to do anything but screw the pooch.
      1. sloopyinca 14 years ago
        
        Alphonse Q Biden the Lesser?
PIRS 14 years ago

"Biden said the United States appreciates Mongolian contributions to the peace and security of the world, particularly in the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan, where nearly 400 Mongalian military personnel will soon be deployed."

You mean Obama hasn't ended the wars there yet?
1. General Malaise 14 years ago
  
  Dammit, if we only had 400 more troops we could pacify this hellhole of a country.
  1. Hazel Meade 14 years ago
    
    I don't think you can get more "token" than 400.
    1. Hazel Meade 14 years ago
      
      Unless you're Spartans. In which case 300 is a good number.
      1. Pro Libertate 14 years ago
        
        Yeah, they like to talk about their 300 and ignore the thousand other Greeks hanging around.
        
        Hazel Meade 14 years ago
        
        Which kind of makes me think that te whole film '300' was a big propaganda effort to make small countries feel good about their token contributions to Iraq and Afghanistan.
        
        Pro Libertate 14 years ago
        
        That, and a pro-gays in the military message.
Aresn 14 years ago

Biden is on a diplomatic mission to Alderaan Mongolia.

Never a Death Star around when you need one.
Warty 14 years ago

Mongolian wrestling

The object of a match is to get your opponent to touch his upper body, knee or elbow to the ground. In the Inner Mongolian version, any body part other than the feet touching the ground signals defeat.[4] There are no weight classes or time limits in a match. Each wrestler must wrestle once per round, the winners moving on to the next round.

Sounds fun.
1. Pip 14 years ago
  
  Be funner with chicks and mud.
Abersouth 14 years ago

Here he is on a perhaps more interesting diplomatic mission.

https://danieljmitchell.wordpress.com/2010/10/25/joe-biden-caption-contest/
1. Warty 14 years ago
  
  A line from Borat suffices. "I wasn't expecting that, but it's all right."
2. Mensan 14 years ago
  
  This one always makes me laugh.
The Thinking Man's NASCAR 14 years ago

Well, great. Now I know what my nightmares tonight will look like. Thanks, Pete!
Res Publica Americana 14 years ago

OT: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f94j9WIWPQQ

Chills down spine, first time I've seen the clip since high school.
1. Res Publica Americana 14 years ago
  
  Maybe Obama should copy that speech at a campaign rally?
swillfredo pareto 14 years ago

Who exhumed Truman Capote for the photo op?
Old Mexican 14 years ago

"Mongolian wrestlers are such pussies! Lemme show them how we do it in the backstreets of DC!

Uh, does somebody have a beer bottle I can break?"
1. Res Publica Americana 14 years ago
  
  *an orange-tipped, low-power BB gun plastered with safety instructions. That's how we roll in the DISTRICT.
  1. Zeb 14 years ago
    
    BB gun? I think you need a permit for airsoft in DC.
Ska 14 years ago

"Oh he doesn't speak English? Then I'll pretend he's my grandson!"
Tim 14 years ago

OT but also abusive:
My first glimpse of the new MLK memorial. Two thoughts-
1. He's frozen in carbonite!
2. He looks so pissed.

http://www.theroot.com/views/m.....?GT1=38002
1. Brett L 14 years ago
  
  Did they run out of money to pay the sculptor? 'Cause I'll kick for MLK's statue.
2. Al Sharpton 14 years ago
  
  Whitey didn't want to pay the up charge for the black marble.
3. Rich 14 years ago
  
  "Next to Obama's inauguration, a few funerals and weddings, this is perhaps the largest event to happen in the past 50 years to people of color in this country."
  
  Perhaps.
4. Kolohe 14 years ago
  
  What I don't really get is he's facing Jefferson but has his backed turned to Lincoln.
5. Ice Nine 14 years ago
  
  Nice statue, I guess - aside from the fact that it doesn't much look like MLK.
Pope Jimbo 14 years ago

StupidMongolian archer! You can't hurt Joe by shooting him there.
Pope Jimbo 14 years ago

Is this a State department prank?

You know he is gonna make a speech in Mongolia where he tries to emulate JFK telling the Berliners "Ich bin ein Berliner" and tells the crowd that "I am a mongoloid".
1. Brett L 14 years ago
  
  Seriously trying not to lose it at my desk. I just had to fake a coughing fit. Damn you for being so funny.
cipples 14 years ago

Is it wrong that that statue made me clutch my fake purse tighter?
Hazel Meade 14 years ago

Biden is on a diplomatic mission to Mongolia.

I have to think that is some sort of punishment. Presidents don't send the VP to Mongolia unless it's an act of symbolic exile. What did Biden do?
1. Pryor 14 years ago
  
  We aren't talking about what's going on in Martha's Vineyard today now are we?
14 years ago

"Stand up, Batukhan!"
WinningTheFuture_WithSalmon 14 years ago

Ladies and gentlemen, the Vice President of the United States

Who's the guy on the right?
Almanian 14 years ago

That's some sweet alt text right there, Peter. Noyce.
sloopyinca 14 years ago

Is the guy who got Indiana Jones to find the Holy Grail standing in the middle there?
Ice Nine 14 years ago

I really hate to do it but you've gotta give Biden that his headgear is nowhere near as gay as the tough guy's.
Jonas Davis 14 years ago

I guess Ole Joe is ready to get his butt kicked!

http://www.web-anon.at.tc

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Joe Biden Prepares to Battle A Mongolian Wrestler

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