Friday Funnies

Politics as usual

Chip Bok | 8.12.2011 7:00 AM

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heller 14 years ago

I will allow you to live Bok. One more week.
1. Suki 14 years ago
  
  +1
  Good morning reason!
  1. ? 14 years ago
    
    I thought you were dead.
    1. Suki 14 years ago
      
      I am. This is an impostor.
      1. ? 14 years ago
        
        The work goes on, the cause endures, the hope still lives, and the dream shall never die.
        
        Sirhan 14 years ago
        
        Someone may have to snuff it out.
2. Restoras 14 years ago
  
  I concur.
  
  That language is very prescient.
Fist of Etiquette 14 years ago

This looks like a Ted Nugent book signing event.
1. Art-P.O.G. 14 years ago
  
  Ted Danson.
  1. Fist of Etiquette 14 years ago
    
    So, an episode of Becker, then?
Jerry 14 years ago

I think that EPA woman is a bit scared that Frank lets go of another one.
Mister DNA 14 years ago

heh... he said "eat out".
1. ??????Sally Hemmings 14 years ago
  
  He was pretty good about that sort of thing.
  1. EscapedWestOfTheBigMuddy 14 years ago
    
    Poor taste, but I laughed.
Tony 14 years ago

The US constitution for me has always been a terrorists manifesto.
1. heller 14 years ago
  
  That's from the Declaration. Bad sock puppet!
2. Snowbee 14 years ago
  
  The best part about Tony spoofers is that they're indistinguishable from the real Tony.
  
  Oh shi--
PS 14 years ago

I don't get the hobbit thing. Wasn't Jefferson like 6'4"?
1. NotSure 14 years ago
  
  I also do not get the Hobbit thing, they were the heroes that saved the day.
  1. Rotm 14 years ago
    
    More than that the book is an allegory about how power corrupts.
    1. Old Soldier 14 years ago
      
      Didn't the Hobbits win? They traveled to the capital and destroyed the senator-for-ever and his surveillance system.
      1. Bucky 14 years ago
        
        ^this^
      2. Brandybuck 14 years ago
        
        And then came home and kicked butt on the immigrants
      3. KW6 14 years ago
        
        Unfortunately, it's only fiction.
        
        The Eye is seen each night on CBS.
2. ? 14 years ago
  
  6'2.5"
  1. mr simple 14 years ago
    
    Yeah, but how tall was he?
    
    *rimshot*
3. Mr Whipple 14 years ago
  
  McCain refers to 'tea party hobbits,' blasts Bachmann-backed idea
  
  http://politicalticker.blogs.c.....cked-idea/
  1. PS 14 years ago
    
    Aha, thanks. That's not a very good caricature of McCain.
    1. ? 14 years ago
      
      Looks more like Mickey Rooney.
      1. Bucky 14 years ago
        
        bet Mickey Rooney would be against torture too...
        then again, watching his old movies is torture...
        
        Mickey Rooney 14 years ago
        
        I was the biggest star? IN THE WORLD!
        Bam! Shuuussshhhhh! Kapow!
4. Restoras 14 years ago
  
  I dunno either. Maybe he's getting hobbits confused with his captors.
5. Kant feel Pietzsche 14 years ago
  
  A reference to McCain's snippy little comment about the Tea Party "hobbits defeating Mordor". That's him at the front of the line.
  1. Kant feel Pietzsche 14 years ago
    
    Someday, I will learn to read all the comments before I post. Or not...
Aqua Buddha 14 years ago

It didn't suck out my will to live, so I suppose it wasn't bad for a FF.
1. PS 14 years ago
  
  Eat out your will to live?
  1. Aqua Buddha 14 years ago
    
    If you must.
Kirk Loder 14 years ago

Oh yeah, no doubt. Another wacky Friday is upon us.

http://www.anon-vpn.it.tc
1. Ska 14 years ago
  
  lolcats anonbot
  1. Art-P.O.G. 14 years ago
    
    Ha ha ha ha ha, "Kirk" Loder.
Tim 14 years ago

Not shitty.
Ice Nine 14 years ago

When did Ziggy Stardust become HHS Sec?
1. sarcasmic 14 years ago
  
  When did Ziggy grow titties?
  1. Ice Nine 14 years ago
    
    Androgyny, how does it work?
    1. sarcasmic 14 years ago
      
      Without titties.
      1. Ice Nine 14 years ago
        
        Bowie is a dude??!
        
        sarcasmic 14 years ago
        
        Sorry, but that wasn't a chick that sucked your dick.
        
        ?? 14 years ago
        
        shower shower scrub scrub
        
        jacob 14 years ago
        
        Too late. Start cutting.
  2. Lord Humungus 14 years ago
    
    but "ZIGGY PLAYED GUITAAAAAAARRR!"
    1. Lord Humungus 14 years ago
      
      just had to add this
      http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9a-8Zs5yXI4
2. BakedPenguin 14 years ago
  
  Beat me to it.
  1. Fist of Etiquette 14 years ago
    
    I thought it was Leslie Stahl. That revolving door of news personalities in Obama Administration positions. But we can all agree it's odd to have Condoleezza Rice appointed to the EPA, right?
    1. mr simple 14 years ago
      
      Only if you're racist, racist.
    2. sarcasmic 14 years ago
      
      Actually it's some lady named Lisa Jackson who apparently likes the smell of Barny the Frank's farts or she wouldn't be sniffing his ass.
      1. Drake 14 years ago
        
        She's testing for emmissions. Stay tuned for fart regulations.
Bee Tagger 14 years ago

Since when did Hitler need more swarms of officers to harass people?
1. ? 14 years ago
  
  Is he in this cartoon somewhere?
  1. Restoras 14 years ago
    
    He's everywhere.
    1. ? 14 years ago
      
      Bush. Obama. Bachmann. Justin Beiber.
    2. sarcasmic 14 years ago
      
      No, that's Elvis.
      1. ? 14 years ago
        
        That video should have won ten Oscars.
      2. Mensan 14 years ago
        
        If you don't got Mojo Nixon then your store could use some fixin'!
  2. Bee Tagger 14 years ago
    
    Oh, my fault, it says "hither"
    1. ? 14 years ago
      
      For Christ's sake read better. You got me all pissed there for a minute.
      1. Old Soldier 14 years ago
        
        Imagine how pissed Jefferson would have been if King George had sent Hitler over here to bug us.
        
        ?? 14 years ago
        
        It's a good thing there wasn't a Rommel or Guderian among all those Hessians.
sarcasmic 14 years ago

Now Bok is pimping The Jacket?'s book?
1. Aqua Buddha 14 years ago
  
  Is The Jacket's book's book jacket also black leather?
  1. db 14 years ago
    
    The "Secret Decoder Ring" edition is bound in the skin of third world orphan workers who slacked off, and comes with a coupon for buy-one-get-one-free monocles.
    1. Decoder Ring 14 years ago
      
      Every answer will be "Drink More Libertarian Kool-Aid"
      1. Sparky 14 years ago
        
        Thanks for the laughs at the end of a week that sorely needed more.
        
        Decoder Ring 14 years ago
        
        Your Welcome.
        
        Drink More Libertarian Cool-Aid.
        
        Kant feel Pietzsche 14 years ago
        
        You couldn't WAIT for Thursday to end, could you?
    2. R C Dean 14 years ago
      
      a coupon for buy-one-get-one-free monocles
      
      Isn't the whole point of monocles that they don't come in pairs?
      1. Sparky 14 years ago
        
        The second monocle is to wear under the first in case it falls out.
sarcasmic 14 years ago

It would be complete if Frank farted in Jackson's face.
Tim 14 years ago

But under the King's Health plan all leechings will be free.
1. PIRS 14 years ago
  
  +10
  
  Leeching here of course has a double meaning.
Hank 14 years ago

Does anyone else think the The Help trailer looks like a virtual Hogwarts of Magic Negroes?
1. SugarFree 14 years ago
  
  There are black people in that movie?
  1. Hank 14 years ago
    
    Actually they're all Andy Serkis.
    1. Hank 14 years ago
      
      That was meant to be an innocent SFX joke, but the longer it sits there on the Internets, in light of Rise of the Planet of the Apes, it looks more and more racist.
      
      I didn't mean it that way. OK, carry on.
      1. ? 14 years ago
        
        Tom T. Hall's "The Monkey That Became President" pisses a lot of people off these days too, so don't feel bad.
sarcasmic 14 years ago

No more Cherry Pie.
1. SugarFree 14 years ago
  
  Warrant was a great Behind The Music. Lane was talking about the delays get Dog Eat Dog out. He looks at the camera and goes something like "Nirvana's Nevermind came out first. That was it."
  
  It showed incredible restraint for VH1 not to play the sad horn after that statement.
  1. Restoras 14 years ago
    
    Did you see It Might Get Loud?
    1. ? 14 years ago
      
      Netflix really wants me to. Should I?
      1. Restoras 14 years ago
        
        Yes - it's worth it just for Jimmy Page. I knew nuttin' about Jack White before I saw it and have become a fan since. The stuff with The Edge is interesting too though I'm not the biggest fan.
        
        ? 14 years ago
        
        I like Jimmy Page. I wouldn't know Jack White from Reggie White, and I hate The Edge, but mainly because he named himself "The Edge".
        
        sarcasmic 14 years ago
        
        I knew nuttin' about Jack White before I saw it and have become a fan since.
        
        Same here.
        
        Gray Ghost 14 years ago
        
        I love the beginning of It Might Get Loud, where White shows up with a guitar or two---including the one with the old-style hand microphone embedded---Page shows up in with, I think, a guitar or two, and the Edge shows up with Dallas and a truckload of effects gear...
        
        Really gets into the components and influences that make up each of their sounds. And the looks of awe that White and the Edge give to Page are funny too.
        
        Great documentary. I think you'll like it.
      2. sarcasmic 14 years ago
        
        I never knew Page had such a squeaky voice. It's pretty funny.
        
        But seriously, it's worth watching.
Restoras 14 years ago

Whomever is on links duty must have been on a bender last night.
Fist of Etiquette 14 years ago

"CUT! Congressman Frank, I know it's tempting, but can you refrain from looking into the camera? Okay, again, from the line about the Kiwi midgets or whatever... ACTION!"
GroundTruth 14 years ago

Not bad. The hobbit thing threw me until I recalled the McCain comment, and Jefferson's hair color is correct, and the point is indeed well made likening Oh-buma's action to George III. I'll give it a check-plus.
1. ? 14 years ago
  
  God love that busted-up jet jockey, but he really is a silly fuck, isn't he?
P Brooks 14 years ago

When your beard gets skritchy

the little woman gets bitchy

enhance the romance

as you eat out her substance

BURMA SHAVE
1. ? 14 years ago
  
  A whiskery kiss
  
  For the one
  
  You adore
  
  May not make her mad
  
  But her inner thighs will be sore
  
  BURMA SHAVE
2. db 14 years ago
  
  Sheer poetry.
Lord Humungus 14 years ago

morning links were early yesterday - today? LATE! Stop the late-night drinkin' and get to postin'!
1. Reason Staff 14 years ago
  
  Quiet, you! Our heads hurt from too many car bombs last night!
  1. Quetzalcoatl 14 years ago
    
    Terrorists!
2. Joe M 14 years ago
  
  There was a debate last night. Debate = drinking game.
3. Fist of Etiquette 14 years ago
  
  Libertarians = mavericks. Make your own morning links right here. Show the Riggs/Walker/KMW junta who's in charge here.
? 14 years ago

Now that I understand the hobbit reference and the Barney Frank fart thing, I believe this cartoon can be certified fresh.
1. R C Dean 14 years ago
  
  The words "Barny Frank fart" and "fresh" should never be used in the same sentence.
  
  That is all. Carry on.
Lord Humungus 14 years ago

You want links? I'll give you links.

There's that Commerce Clause again!
Federal officials are kicking around an idea that could ultimately force him - and anyone else operating farm machinery - to get a commercial driver's license.

http://www.jsonline.com/business/127077968.html

"In one scenario, farmers hauling grain to local elevators would be treated as if they were engaged in interstate commerce because grain, in many cases, eventually leaves the state."
1. Restoras 14 years ago
  
  Can we amend the Consitution to strip that fucking clause out?
  1. Quetzalcoatl 14 years ago
    
    Hypothetically.
2. FlyoverCountry 14 years ago
  
  God damn that's an irritating thought. I haul a grain buggy on the roads maybe 20 times a year, driving a total of 16 miles round trip. Hell and God damn if I am going to get a stupid fucking CDL for that.
  1. ? 14 years ago
    
    Where I live, farmers can have their eight year old children haul vats of nitroglycerin on mountainous state highways in antique trucks with no brakes and no license plates, as long as they have an orange triangle.
    1. juris imprudent 14 years ago
      
      Nice to hear that some kids still get to have fun.
      1. 14 years ago
        
        BOOM!!
Mr Whipple 14 years ago

In case there are no morning links, just for the Hell of it, here's a video of Rand Paul ripping DOE lackey, Kathleen Hogan.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v.....r_embedded
Max 14 years ago

You right-wing zealots just don't do humor well. Stick to what you do best--cherry picking evidence to confirm your biases.
1. Reply 14 years ago
  
  Isolated incidents are not isolated!1!
H man 14 years ago

The history of the present [government] is a history of repeated injuries and usurpations, all having in direct object the establishment of an absolute Tyranny over these States. To prove this, let Facts be submitted to a candid world.

He has erected a multitude of New Offices, and sent hither swarms of Officers to harrass our people, and eat out their substance

For protecting them, by a mock Trial, from punishment for any Murders which they should commit on the Inhabitants of these States:

For transporting us [and others] beyond Seas to be tried for pretended offences

Taking our land and giving it to private interests

Forcing us into commerce against our wishes

Preventing the people from using the illumination of their choosing in their own home.

Prevents the recording of public actions of public officials

Declares secret without oversight, information of import to the citizenry

Restricts or bans the growing of plants for food and medicine.

Subjects travelers on private transport to unreasonable, invasive and humiliating searches.

Taxes the citizens of the States, and then requires the States to pass Laws as condition for the return of the funds

Illegitimately imposes upon personal arms the police power of the state

Incurs debt that the citizenry is unable to repay

Debauches the currency on a daily basis

Orders U.S. Military Forces into offensive actions without the approval of Congress.

Institutes so many regulations and laws that it is impossible for a mortal to live a day without violating at least one if not a multiple of them.

Uses the unlawful ownership of the airways to restrict speech.

Takes the property of those not convicted but merely suspected of a crime.

Does not protect the U.S. Constitution but at every turn tries to circumvent it.
1. 14 years ago
  
  Regulates and constrains the physical sustenance of the citizenry.
  
  Accuses the lawful gathering of citizens of racialist depravity.
2. Almanian 14 years ago
  
  ELIMUNASH[un]IST LANG[uag]E!!!!!
  
  Also,
  
  RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACIST!!
Kant feel Pietzsche 14 years ago

The DOI mentioned 25 specific offenses by Old Georgie Porgie.

With a touch of imagination, you can now lay 18 of them at the feet of our own federal government.
NoStar 14 years ago

Why do Bawney Fwank's fahts smell wike Santorum?
Brandybuck 14 years ago

I LOLd! Out loud!
Cold Side Of Pillow 14 years ago

Reason needs to get rid of the 'Friday Fails' section, really.

It has NEVER been funny, not in the year I've been stalking this place.
???? ?????? 14 years ago

thank u
Caterpillar Boots 14 years ago

http://www.cat-boots.org/

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