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The Virile Power of Moustaches

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Thomas Friedman's latest fatuous ramblings inspire a parody.

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  1. Read Friedman’s piece earlier.

    Yeah, it’s Obama’s name that done it. Oh, and his grandfather was a Muslim. Also envy about Palestine and the Bird’s Nest. Oh, and Google Earth, which I bet a ton of the 15% of Egyptians with internet access used.

    He clearly forgot the Twitter.

  2. Holy crap. I was thinking that as gimmicky as the column was, if you ignored the Obama bullshit, it was WAY better than his average column. I think I’m being brainwashed.

  3. So, did he talk about the big Kill Jews rally at Tahir Square? Or the refusal to let the Egyptian Google guy onto the stage?

    1. So, did you read the articles at the links? Or decide to comment with some sort of agenda irrelevant to the post?

      1. I don’t click thru to the NYT, as a matter of principle.

        The parody either, because it wouldn’t answer my question about Friedman’s col.

        So, did you? Can you answer? Or are you just wasting my time?

        1. I don’t play to your agenda, as a matter of principle.

          1. WHAAAAA!!!

            It is my birthday why can’t you guys just get along for one stinking day.

            Note: it is not my birthday.

            1. I’ll just have to eat this cake myself then.

  4. When […] your name is Thomas Friedman, well, that’s what you do.

    Subtle.

    For a website not called Nazi Links

  5. What do you think young Egyptians thought when they watched the dazzling opening ceremony of the 2008 Beijing Olympics?

    You owe me a new pair of eyeballs, Walker. I just gouged the old ones out.

  6. American Healthcare When Egyptians see that more than 500 million Americans have no access to healthcare, and are being actively hunted down by insurance companies, it’s no surprise that they rise up and overthrow their oppressive autocratic government in solidarity with the American people.

  7. …the difference between a good day a bad day for informed New York Times readers will continue to hinge on whether they open the opinion section and see my face staring out smugly at them.

    If you’re still a NY Times reader, then every day is a bad day.

  8. He forgot about trains. They obviously had something to do with this. Maybe all of the Egyptian protesters saw the great trains in China and this is all just a protest for high-speed rail.

    1. Unionized Train protests! Brilliant!

  9. I think this was the stupidest thing he wrote. But others may have different favorites.

    Chinese had to give up freedom but got economic growth and decent government in return.

    Man, Tommy does love him some all-powerful overlords, doesn’t he? Jeebus.

  10. Friedman’s ability to integrate some China-slobber into literally everything he does is kind of impressive, honestly. This is not a man who will allow reality to impede kiss-assing.

    “Man, this chicken is good, MUCH LIKE THE GLORIOUSLY ENLIGHTENED LEADERSHIP OF CHINA”

  11. That idiot clearly does not not know very much about Chinese history. In the the 1950′ to 1970’s millions died because of Mao, the people did not give up freedom, they did not have it in the first place. After the disaster of the cultural revolution and the freeing (relative obviously) up of the economy is what led to the growth, from where it came from it could only go up. The Chinese economy is now hitting economic walls, it is facing a housing bubble like no other, building trains nobody uses and is increasingly being harmed from government/business corruption.

    1. But, but, but …
      The leadership is a “reasonably enlightened group of people”.

      1. I honestly don’t care what Friedman writes going forward – that is by far the stupidest thing he has ever written and will ever write.

        1. Don’t nail your colors to that mast.

          1. Are you kidding, we should get money behind that claim.

  12. From the original Freidman drivel –

    Chinese had to give up freedom but got economic growth and decent government in return.

    Goddam, I hate this man.

    1. If I ran a newspaper, and one of my columnists penned that sentence, I would fire him on the spot. Preferably in front of as many people a possible.

    2. The Germans had to give up freedom but got economic growth and decent government in return.

    3. You fail to understand the sympatico – he gave up his freedom for his wife’s money. He gave up his integrity to retain his NYT gig. I think this man is writing from the heart.

  13. You know who else gave up freedom for economic growth and decent efficient government?

  14. The real entertainment is in the comments. They all take him so seriously, I guess because they’re also clueless tools.

    Brilliant analysis! Even if it’s only half true, it should give us all hope that some good might come out of those people’s struggle.

    I guess all hope is lost then.

  15. Really, this media navel-gazing is insane. It starts with accepting the bad idea that the Beltway is the center of the universe, and it ends with them thinking that other people think that, too.

    We’re currently occupying two Muslim nations. We’re supporting a nation in the Middle East that many Muslim nations despise. We’re viewed as decadent, and we’re viewed as mostly not Muslim. Do you really think electing a guy with some Islam in his background changes a damned thing? It’s not like we left Iraq and Afghanistan and bowed to Mecca.

    1. This is akin to Clinton being the first “black president.”

    2. Well, I wish only peace, prosperity and and continuing for Muslims, and want us to stay the fudge out of their business. But as for the charge of decadency? That is a riot of a laugh. We are not the ones who dress little boys in seven see through veils for nights of socially accepted girlish dancing and butt rape all because some book tells them to forbid women from dancing provocatively. Majorly fucked up and decadent.

  16. Do you really think electing a guy with some Islam in his background changes a damned thing?

    Are you kidding? Look at all the changes he has made in our foreign policy!

    It’s a new millenium, you fool! The Ascension is upon us.

    1. He did win the Nobel Prize in Physics, after all. Right?

  17. Add it all up and what does it say? It says you have a major US newspaper whose editor either has low standards or is taking backhanders so that my stuff gets published. It says that I am a huge, pompous twat. And it says that the difference between a good day a bad day for informed New York Times readers will continue to hinge on whether they open the opinion section and see my face staring out smugly at them.

    Worth reading just for the summary paragraph.

  18. The sickly insignificant shadow infesting Friedman’s lip is nothing (NOTHING!!!!) compared to the free-flowing gloriousness of my Yosemeite Sam -style facial hair.

  19. that is by far the stupidest thing he has ever written and will ever write.

    Stupidity, I regret to say, is limitless.

  20. Hmmmm. I may have to shave off my virile graying porn moustache…
    Other than that guy in “Deep Throat” and Magnum, (was it the same guy???) who can you name admirable with a moustache?

    1. Franco Nero?

    2. Sam Elliott?

      1. Paul Teutul senior.
        Admirable? – not in my opinion. Mustache, definitely. http://www.imdb.com/media/rm3510344192/nm1372232

    3. Thomas Dewey, who but for a hairy upper lip might well have been President.

  21. Hey; Thomas Friedman may be a shameless Sino-sycophant, but can’t we take it easy on him? It is, after all, Mustache March. He may see nothing wrong with murdering millions to advance an agreeable political agenda, but at least he stands up for the right of a man to grow a glorious mustache.

    1. You know who else had a moustache?

      1. Snidely Whiplash ?

    2. It’s also Cunt History Month. I would know.

  22. Tom. Tom. Tom.

    Why is it always the pretty ones who are so dumb?

    The Chinese have always had tyranny. Whether they were suffering through economic dark ages lasting for centuries, or were the most prosperous looters of a given era, they always had tyrants. What is substantially different now is they have some real liberalization of their markets.

    Stick that under your ‘stache and blow on it, fool.

  23. who can you name admirable with a moustache?

    John Wilkes Boothe.

    *starts popcorn*

  24. Drat! How did that superfluous “e” get in there?

    1. It’s OK – I’m pretty sure “mustache” does end in “e”…

      1. I see what I did there – haha!

        OK, it’s a little boring tonight – please allow me my simple pleasures.

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