One of You Is a Murderer

Jesse Walker | 2.22.2011 12:07 PM

For those of you who didn't see it, Muammar Qaddafi just delivered a rambling, incoherent tirade featuring semi-random references to drugs, Waco, and Somalia. I have concluded that he is a Hit & Run troll. Who wants to 'fess up?

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Bee Tagger 14 years ago

Did he take a drink after each of those references? He could be a regular spoofing a troll.
1. John Tagliaferro 14 years ago
  
  affenkopf, in a self serving attempt at attention whoring grandeur, spammed the link to his own speech in another thread. I also blame you, Jesse Walker, for the coverup by not hat tipping affenkopf/Qaddafi.
  
  When are you media types going to agree on a spelling of Qaddafi's name? Waiting for him to move into Marina Towers with the exiles from Wisconsin and Indiana?
Muammar Qaddafi 14 years ago

I am Muammar Qaddafi!
1. Aresen 14 years ago
  
  I am Muammar Qaddafi!
  1. Muammar Qaddafi 14 years ago
    
    Say hello to my little friend!
    1. Muhammar Khaddafi 14 years ago
      
      ^^^ Charlatans all. ^^^
      1. Dangerman 14 years ago
        
        Ali knows how to spell, um, that guys (^^) name. I know it's the right way cause I can never frikken remember it.
  2. Tim 14 years ago
    
    Or have we eaten on the insane root
    That takes the reason prisoner?
    
    MAcBeth, scene iii
    1. Aresen 14 years ago
      
      "I am but mad north-north-west
      
      - Hamlet, Act II, Scene ii
      1. Gray Ghost 14 years ago
        
        "He would drown the stage with tears,
        And cleave the general ear with horrid speech,
        Make mad the guilty, and appall the free,
        Confound the ignorant, and amaze indeed
        The very faculties of eyes and ears."
        
        Also Hamlet, Act II, scene ii
      2. Pro Libertate 14 years ago
        
        Thus says my king; an' if your father's highness
        Do not, in grant of all demands at large,
        Sweeten the bitter mock you sent his majesty,
        He'll call you to so hot an answer of it,
        That caves and womby vaultages of France
        Shall chide your trespass and return your mock
        In second accent of his ordnance.
        
        --Henry V, Act II, Scene iv.
        
        Richard Pryor 14 years ago
        
        That Nigger's Crazy!
        
        Tim 14 years ago
        
        Shakespeare beatdown!
        
        But now, I am cabin'd, cribb'd, confined, bound in
        To saucy doubts and fears.
        
        Macbeth, scene iv
        
        Aresen 14 years ago
        
        "Now is the winter of our discontent
        made glorious summer by this sun..."
        
        -Richard III, Act 1, Scene I
        
        Pro Libertate 14 years ago
        
        You left out a word: "Now is the winter of our discontent
        made glorious summer by this sun of a bitch."
        
        Aresen 14 years ago
        
        "Yond Libertate has a lean and hungry look,
        He thinks too much; such men are dangerous."
        - Julius Ceasar, Act 1, Scene II
        
        (Most scholars get this slightly wrong.)
        
        Pro Libertate 14 years ago
        
        Why, man, he [Caesar] doth bestride the narrow world
        Like a colossus, and we petty men
        Walk under his huge legs, and peep about
        To find ourselves dishonorable graves.
        Men at some time are masters of their fates;
        The fault, dear Brutus, is not in our stars,
        But in ourselves, that we are underlings.
        
        --Julius Caesar, Act IV, scene iii.
        
        rac 14 years ago
        
        Mother of mercy, is this the end of Rico?
        
        Little Caesar.
        
        rac 14 years ago
        
        Rico Suave.
        
        numeromancer 14 years ago
        
        Forgive me, Lord, that I do brag thus. This, your air of France, doth blow that vice in me.
        
        --- Henry V
      3. SugarFree 14 years ago
        
        Not to crib of Aresen, but the rest of that quote makes it an amazingly dense and rich line:
        
        I am but mad north-north-west:
        when the wind is southerly
        I know a hawk from a handsaw.
        
        Possibly my favorite sentence in literature.
        
        Tim 14 years ago
        
        Check out the accompanying AP photo to this linked story:
        http://www.burlingtonfreepress.....e-a-martyr
        
        The Colonel has boarded the magic elevator from Willy Wonka...
        
        SugarFree 14 years ago
        
        How dare you make fun of The Official Umbrella Of Office! Without it, almost any murderous scumbag could claim to lead the country.
        
        Tim 14 years ago
        
        I think we've reached a Michael Jackson level of wierdness.
        
        Aresen 14 years ago
        
        O, then I see Queen Mab hath been with you.
        -Romeo and Juliet, Act 1, Scene iv
        
        John Tagliaferro 14 years ago
        
        Next stop, Sri Lanka for a space elevator trip to meet Arthur C. Clarke
        
        Pro Libertate 14 years ago
        
        For the record (again!), Hamlet was neither indecisive nor insane. He was just being cautious about overthrowing a popular monarch.
        
        I read the play that way relatively early, but the only other critic I've seen take that position is, of all people, Isaac Asimov.
        
        SugarFree 14 years ago
        
        I think Hamlet must be considered indecisive until the play. He dithers about believing the ghost and the obviousness of the circumstances. If you deny his indecisiveness, you drain away his responsibility for Ophelia's suicide. And the cruel farce of Polonius' murder loses significance.
        
        Pro Libertate 14 years ago
        
        Let's put it this way--do you listen to voices in your head without wondering if maybe you're (1) imagining things or (2) maybe the victim of a hoax/demonic plot?
        
        SugarFree 14 years ago
        
        All the voices in my head say the same thing.
        
        I'm not saying he was wrong to dither, just that he did dither.
        
        Part of the tragedy is that he intellectualizes the problem rather than running off and killing the king after talking to the ghost (the emotion-driven response.) But imagine all the lives saved if he had done just that. Sure, the play would be hella short, but at least 5 extra people would have been alive at the end.
        
        Tim 14 years ago
        
        Instead of dithering he should have grown some nuts and stimulated the Danish economy with some cheap French financed deficit spending. Instead we got a government shutdown...
        
        Pro Libertate 14 years ago
        
        Dithering versus collecting data. If he'd gone off and killed Claudius, someone would've killed him, then crazed interregnum ensues. Basically the same result, with lots of bodies (albeit maybe some different ones).
        
        Also, I have to admit that I think Rosencrantz and Guildenstern survive in that scenario.
        
        Humble Lee 14 years ago
        
        Mine is "Fuck me!"
        
        - Penthouse Forum, July 1971.
  3. Jeff P. 14 years ago
    
    I'm Qaddafi and so's my wife!
    1. Pro Libertate 14 years ago
      
      Wait, you're married? When did this happen? Did I miss something?
      1. John Tagliaferro 14 years ago
        
        Close, but not married.
        
        Pro Libertate 14 years ago
        
        I was thinking Jeff P. and Jennifer.
      2. Jeff P. 14 years ago
        
        It's a Life of Brian reference.
        Your failure to recognize it as such diminishes us as a species.
        
        (sniffs sharply and turns away)
  4. lunchstealer 14 years ago
    
    I'm not just Muammar Qaddafi, I'm also Muhammad Qaddafi, Said Qaddafi, and Saadi Qaddafi as well!
2. Paul 14 years ago
  
  We're all Muammar Qaddafi, now.
  1. Tim 14 years ago
    
    Yet who would have thought the old man to have had so much blood in him.
    
    Lady Macbeth, Act V, scene i
    1. John Tagliaferro 14 years ago
      
      Try Lady Gaga, Act 69, obscene.
  2. what he said 14 years ago
    
    Ich bin ein Qaddafi.
    1. Kool 14 years ago
      
      Kennedy? Or Izzard?
      1. Mister DNA 14 years ago
        
        He's a Qaddafi! He's American, it's the slang!
      2. Nick 14 years ago
        
        I am Qaddafi's cunning use of flags.
  3. Marshall Gill 14 years ago
    
    I am Sparticus!
3. Vermont Gun Owner 14 years ago
  
  I am Qaddafi!
Fist of Etiquette 14 years ago

I wish I could pull something like that off.

No, I accuse the next commenter.
1. Tim 14 years ago
  
  Bastard (shakes fist)
  1. Fist of Etiquette 14 years ago
    
    Don't shake me.
    1. Dangerman 14 years ago
      
      If you shake more than thrice...
Tim 14 years ago

[Playing the Three Stooges theme song in my head]
1. John Tagliaferro 14 years ago
  
  Thanks, now it is in my head. Bastard.
P. M. Software 14 years ago

Gotcha!
sage 14 years ago

Drink the FourLoko!
Fess Parker 14 years ago

Who wants to 'fess up?

I do.
Old Mexican 14 years ago

Next we know, Qadaffi will start asking everybody if we know what is the Nash Equilibrium.
Old Mexican 14 years ago

I have concluded that he is a Hit & Run troll.

What, you think there's only one?
1. Tim 14 years ago
  
  "In the end there can be only one"
  
  Or some shit.
2. Troll 14 years ago
  
  I am the Hit & Run troll.
  
  Also, I am Muammar Qaddafi.
  1. Ice Nine 14 years ago
    
    Might I suggest a little nip o' Thorazine.
    1. DNS 14 years ago
      
      Lithium might be more appropriate.
      1. Ice Nine 14 years ago
        
        Not if one is making a schizophrenia joke.
  2. Dangerman 14 years ago
    
    Shhhhhhhh! HE might hear you......
    
    *covers taint*
Troll 14 years ago

Checking in
Ragin Cajun 14 years ago

joe from Libya?
1. sage 14 years ago
  
  Winnah!
2. joepqaddafi 14 years ago
  
  Show me where I've advocated bombing and strafing protesters from the air? I haven't done it once. You are mischaracterizing my position. That said, there are circumstances where it may be perfectly reasonable to use air power against protesters, when they threaten to destabilize life for everyday persons and interrupt the education system for the nation's children. But you're a liar if you say I suggested that bombing protesters was OK.
  1. cynical 14 years ago
    
    Beautiful.
  2. Bradley 14 years ago
    
    10/10.
Warty 14 years ago

So why can't we incif him?
1. DNS 14 years ago
  
  That would be too reasonable.
  1. John Tagliaferro 14 years ago
    
    Good thing I am in a bar.
Sy 14 years ago

A reference to Somalia, Waco, and drugs in the same rant?

1st suspect: Frog in a pot.
2nd suspect: Edwin
3rd suspect: Keith Olbermann
1. PapayaSF 14 years ago
  
  The guy has looked a bit "off" to me for quite a while. I would not be surprised by a substance abuse problem of some sort.
New World Dan 14 years ago

The man is an inspiration to us all. I'm going to miss that crazy SOB and his security detail of 40 hand picked female virgin martial artists. Ok, that sounds kind of Urkaboldian.
1. Kim Jong-il 14 years ago
  
  Ok, that sounds kind of Urkaboldian.
  
  Not really.
2. Urkobold? 14 years ago
  
  FOOLS! THE URKOBOLD IS TOO BELOVED TO REQUIRE A SECURITY DETAIL! HOWEVER, HE DOES EMPLOY A FEMALE TO HANDLE HIS DICTATION AND OTHERS FOR CERTAIN ADVERTISING PURPOSES.
  1. Vermont Gun Owner 14 years ago
    
    The comments from the rackvertising make me wonder: what happened to Naga Shadow?
    1. SugarFree 14 years ago
      
      I ate his soul. He lives on in me, wailing in a dark place.
    2. Pro Libertate 14 years ago
      
      It was Naga Sadow (no 'h'), and he's merely posting under a different name. I think that means he turned from the Dark Side.
      1. Vermont Gun Owner 14 years ago
        
        Hmm, whoever he is now he's keeping quiet about the casinos...
        
        Pro Libertate 14 years ago
        
        Don't see him here that much, but he still comments at Urkobold.
    3. Nick 14 years ago
      
      He and Reinmoose successfully emigrated to Rainbow Puppy Island.
  2. Dangerman 14 years ago
    
    LO! He is upon us now!
3. Ice Nine 14 years ago
  
  >>I'm going to miss that crazy SOB and his security detail of 40 hand picked female virgin martial artists.
  
  Yeah, well at least they were still hand picked female martial artists 24hrs after selection.
4. me 14 years ago
  
  ...security detail of 40 hand picked female virgin martial artists. Sounds like the dream mission for James Bond.
JOhnny MAckson 14 years ago

I like all you meat bags too much to kill any of you . . . yet. LOL

Jess
http://www.anon-4-lulz.com
Jeff P. 14 years ago

If he's channeling anyone it's Dr. Gene Scott. Plus he hasn't used the word "libertard" yet.
1. Dr. Scott 14 years ago
  
  Janet!
B?nzli 14 years ago

I confess!

I was the second gunman on the grassy knoll!

Oops...forget I said anything
? 14 years ago

I'm him when it's spelled "Khadafy." The rotation is like this:

al-Qa???f? = actual dictator
Khadafy = ?
Gaddafi = Benicio Del Toro
Qaddafi = Benicio Del Toro's agent's dog groomer's great-aunt

She got banned for posting as Weigel.
1. Humble Lee 14 years ago
  
  "She got banned for posting as Weigel."
  
  Weigel was banned for that very same reason.
nobody 14 years ago

I thought his post-script was pretty weird, something like "In case anyone replies to this, their responses will almost assuredly be ad homs, thereby conceding my points and showing the childish, anti-intellectual nature of" something-something.
1. Jesse Walker 14 years ago
  
  Lotta funny comments here, but you just won the thread.
2. Hugh Akston 14 years ago
  
  HA!
Gray Ghost 14 years ago

What are his positions on/with sheep? And, most importantly, has he served Reason with a C&D letter yet?
not telling 14 years ago

If he is a troll here it would explain a alot
1. Jeff P. 14 years ago
  
  He's probably migrated to some trollitarian chat-hole where Jennifer-in-clingfilm rape slashfic is not only acceptable but encouraged...
jtuf 14 years ago

LMAO
Jeff Foxworthy 14 years ago

If you're batshit crazy and buy a lot of your wardrobe from Michael Jackson's Wonderland Ranch estate auction....

...you might be Moammar Qaddafi.
Episiarch 14 years ago

Ok, fine, I confess. I am Qadaffi. Wait, no, that's not true. NutraSweet is. I can't take credit for his work.
1. SugarFree 14 years ago
  
  Bastard!
  1. Hugh Akston 14 years ago
    
    I don't think it really could have been anyone else.
fresno dan 14 years ago

I conclude, based on his fondness for 70's error military/disco couture and facial hair, as well as my desire for a hand groped former virgin security and massage detail. No happy ending 🙁
1. . 14 years ago
  
  based on his fondness for 70's error military/disco couture and facial hair,
  
  Uh, shouldn't that be era?
  1. Marshall Gill 14 years ago
    
    Uh, shouldn't that be era?
    
    When discussing 70's couture and facial hair "error" is the proper term.
sevo 14 years ago

me
Whoopi Goldberg 14 years ago

It wasn't murder-murder. It was something else but I don't believe it was murder-murder.
OhioOrrin 14 years ago

i shot the colonel, but i did not shoot muu bar ak...
SugarFree 14 years ago

I denounce all my accusers!
Warty 14 years ago

He's not the messiah, he's a very naughty boy!
1. Barely Suppressed Rage 14 years ago
  
  The kind you don't take home to mother?
  
  Are you saying Gaddafi, Qaddafi, Kadafy, whatever, is a superfreak?
ola 14 years ago

I liked Letterman's joke that the name of Muammar Qaddafi's idiot son who wants to take over is Muammar W. Qaddafi
QADDAFIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII 14 years ago

None of you pussies has done as much for the movement as I have. How many of you have stood in 117 degree heat and handed out flyers and gathered petitions? If you read my blog, libertarianarabsocialistnationalist.blogspot.com you'd understand that only Rudy Qaddafiani can protect us from the democracy movement.
1. SugarFree 14 years ago
  
  Awesome.
2. Aresen 14 years ago
  
  A truly inspirational donderism.
Tim 14 years ago

Colonel your balls are destined to hang from the rearview mirror of Death's '57 Chevy.
LoneNutto 14 years ago

What weyou really need to do is go ask him difficult questions and videotape it so that we can put it up on the interwebs!

Why doesn't Reason go do that?
1. . 14 years ago
  
  Shut the fuck up, LoneNutto!
Reason troll 14 years ago

Fuck you!

We are unionizing.
Q-DAFFY 14 years ago

I'm the Imam of all Muslims!!!

King of Kings!!!!

Son of the Sun!!!!

DEATH TO AMERICA, DOGS!!!
Anonymous Commenter 14 years ago

1. I am NOT in Venezuela
2. Stop calling me crazy.
3. You can't prove ANYTHING, anyway!
4. DAMN YOU, GEE DUBYA!!!1!
Joe 14 years ago

Best. Post. Ever.
Tim Cavanaugh 14 years ago

If he would just promote himself to general already, he could get out of this pickle.
1. Aresen 14 years ago
  
  Due to Pension Entitlement Rule 3(A)(III)(2)(iii)(c), his "time in service" at the Colonel rank is unlimited and he can therefore collect 41 x 6% = 246% of his secondment salary as President. As General it is limited to 5 x 20% of base salary.
Michael 14 years ago

Haven't heard the speech. Did he declare that all underwear is to be worn on the outside?
1. Yuno Hoo 14 years ago
  
  Look around everywhere you turn is heartache
  It's everywhere that you go [look around]
  You try everything you can to escape
  The pain of life that you know [life that you know]
  
  When all else fails and you long to be
  Something better than you are today
  I know a place where you can get away
  It's called Venezuela, and here's what it's for
Mister DNA 14 years ago

Speaking of... that tl;dr Hercules troll is spamming the living fuck out of Al Jazeera English's website.
1. Rich 14 years ago
  
  Where's Fatwa Issuer when you need him?
  1. Deputy Assistant Fatwa Issuer 14 years ago
    
    I'm subbing today. It's my first big case! Where's that quill? Do I use the big one or the little one?
hmm 14 years ago

Well it ain't fuckin' me...
D.A. Ridgely 14 years ago

So, would this be Murder on the Disoriented Press?
Ken Shultz 14 years ago

Tony's in another thread right now arguing that people don't have any inherent rights unless the government says they do...

...so, I think it's pretty obvious that the if anybody around here is Kahdafi, it's Tony!
1. cynical 14 years ago
  
  Too coherent.
  1. Ken Shultz 14 years ago
    
    Kahdafi or Tony?
Contemplationist 14 years ago

Selfish are ye who bow not to The Virgin Handler a.k.a Gaddafi/Qaddafi/Khadaffy/Qhadafi...
MNGanmar Chonydafi 14 years ago

Damn, caught red-handed.
STEVE SMITH 14 years ago

OH NO, STEVE'S TRUE IDENTITY HAS BEEN REVEALED.
The McQ 14 years ago

QDF ACTIVATE!

*poses with numchuks*
shriqaddafi 14 years ago

If you Allah-fags would just stop listening to Fat Muhammad (King of the Towelheads), I could show you all how libertarian I am, really!
Captain Holly 14 years ago

Walker, how do you know Quaddafi isn't really that crazy?

He did try to seduce Diane Sawyer, you know.
Krazy Kartoon Kutaffy 14 years ago

Life is a bum bum bummer.

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