Reason Writers on the Tube: Michael C. Moynihan on Stossel, Talking Media Scare Stories

Tonight on Fox Business Channel's Stossel (9PM), Reason senior editor Michael C. Moynihan talks media scare stories—crack babies, terrorism, the occult!—with John Stossel and George Mason University professor S. Robert Lichter. 

Comments

[Fist of Etiquette]

Scary stories! A Stossel Halloween Special. Sweet.

[capitol l]

I know a scary story. It's about a dry facebook bbq, and the psychopathic host.

[Fist of Etiquette]

q Fist of Etiquette dislikes this.

[ghost of FDR's violated cat]

Here?

[Fist of Etiquette]

For a second there, I thought Obama was hosting tonight.

[Fist of Etiquette]

Growing up, my family had a taster for all the food we ate. It's amazing I'm not fat from that job.

[Fist of Etiquette]

DON'T FILTER THE FEAR, JOHN!

[I am a ghost, not in the kkk]

I am afraid of Obama hosting Stossel's show.

[I am a ghost, not in the kkk]

Bathtubs don't kill people...I do

[Fist of Etiquette]

Shouldn't you be wearing the bucket?

[I am a ghost, not in the kkk]

Trans FATS!!

[I am a ghost, not in the kkk]

That millions of people don't die in plane crashes every year is a left wing media myth. Planes are killers!

COMMANDER

[Fist of Etiquette]

Did Stossel just 9/11 me?

[I am a ghost, not in the kkk]

Terrorism, John, really? I think it may be too soon.

[I am a ghost, not in the kkk]

Smile Bob...there ya go!

[Fist of Etiquette]

Lichter? I don't even know her.

[I am a ghost, not in the kkk]

You should say this again later, very funny.

[I am a ghost, not in the kkk]

Moynihan, Hack!

[I am a ghost, not in the kkk]

The most dangerous chemical is myfootinyerassium. Boom!

[I am a ghost, not in the kkk]

Ka-Fucking-BOOM!!

[Fist of Etiquette]

What's the atomic weight?

[I am a ghost, not in the kkk]

187.watchyerass

[Fist of Etiquette]

Everything is natural, baby.

[Fist of Etiquette]

John knows Moynihan is best when he doesn't contribute.

[I am a ghost, not in the kkk]

Methane, silent but deadly killer!

Are your kids safe? This segment brought to you by Bean-O

[capitol l]

HAHAHA You are soooo funny, Here is a dollar!

[Fist of Etiquette]

That would be more convincing if you didn't share an email addy.

[capitol l]

'Tis a mere coincidence.

That there ghost fella got chops, man.

[I am a ghost, not in the kkk]

Moynihan is vaguely european, ergo I don't trust him.

[Fist of Etiquette]

You can tell by the open shirt. I bet he even wears an inappropriate speedo at the beach.

[I am a ghost, not in the kkk]

Get the dept of agriculture on that grape smuggling motherfucker!

[I am a ghost, not in the kkk]

Biggest scare story of the past decade has been the meth epidemic, and who is missing tonight?

[Fist of Etiquette]

They better not do a bit about dihydrogen monoxide.

[Fist of Etiquette]

Ouch for Kentucky.

[I am a ghost, not in the kkk]

Reason Plug, drink bitches!

[I am a ghost, not in the kkk]

Crak frak a-doo whoop whoop!

[I am a ghost, not in the kkk]

I am still way into pokemon, anyone wanna buy chips or cards or whatever, I need money to "huff"?

[I am a ghost, not in the kkk]

There is something in plastic bottles that will poison your babies...yeah me.

[Fist of Etiquette]

That's why no plastic bottles for me. I drink right out of toilets.

[I am a ghost, not in the kkk]

After all of time these reporters have spent practiced saying "bisphenol" correctly, do you think that they are going to let this story go?

[Fist of Etiquette]

Duh. They can't do research. Who are the scientists going to test on, babies?

[Fist of Etiquette]

They're not going to show up at the Stossel studio. The place is riddled with plastic!

[I am a ghost, not in the kkk]

Yeah, like Moynihan's shirt.

[I am a ghost, not in the kkk]

You know what scares me? Vapid man on the street interveiwees, that is the real danger.

[Fist of Etiquette]

I'm scared of vampires on the street. Terrible interviewees. Quite banal.

[I am a ghost, not in the kkk]

Babies!

[Fist of Etiquette]

Yes! That's why I download mp3s. Those CD's are full of plastic, so I don't buy them.

Same with Joan Rivers. I don't buy her as a celebrity.

[I am a ghost, not in the kkk]

Were banning it because people are idiots who actually listen to talking heads without doing their own research, and then bitch to us.

[Fist of Etiquette]

Worst hairdo in America.

[I am a ghost, not in the kkk]

Stossel's show has a disproportionate amount of kids with horrendous haircuts. What is up with that?

[I am a ghost, not in the kkk]

Is this woman the worst mom in America

Yes, and if only for her kid's haircut.

[I am a ghost, not in the kkk]

It is really arrogant to think that all of these people are out there lusting after your spawn. Yer kids are ugly, nobody wants to fuck them.

[Fist of Etiquette]

I remember that article. True story.

[Fist of Etiquette]

The MTA rushed to her defense.

[I am a ghost, not in the kkk]

Halloween is like christmas to that guy.

[Fist of Etiquette]

Make sure you're blasting Fox Business Channel on your TV so the kids stay away.

[I am a ghost, not in the kkk]

I would arm my children, it is hard to fondle someone when they are putting buckshot into your face.

[Fist of Etiquette]

So your kid is going out dressed as Cheney for Halloween?

[I am a ghost, not in the kkk]

My kid would be armed at all times not just for halloween.

[Fist of Etiquette]

Who the fuck offers insurance on kids? Is that to make up for their lost paper route income?

[I am a ghost, not in the kkk]

I don't know how old you are, but when I was a kid someone would come in and give us literature to give to our parents...the purpose was life insurance for children. I opened the envelope one time and it had dollar amounts for one two three and four limb accidental amputations, I threw it away.

[Fist of Etiquette]

Lichter? I don't even know her.

[Fist of Etiquette]

Cornrows are a leading cause of brain damage.

[I am a ghost, not in the kkk]

I heard that cornrows can cut off blood flow to your brain, that's not true, is it?

[First of Etiquette]

Once again, too slow.

[I am a ghost, not in the kkk]

Etiquette!

[I am a ghost, not in the kkk]

NEVAH!

[I am a ghost, not in the kkk]

Heard of third hand smoke, the scared dude at work already brought it up weeks ago.

[Fist of Etiquette]

Is Michael trying to sound like a cad?

[I am a ghost, not in the kkk]

Be worried about not living your fucking life, jeezus.

[Fist of Etiquette]

Unlicensed mustache riders are John's biggest fear.

[Fist of Etiquette]

Jonas Salk, total con artist.

[I am a ghost, not in the kkk]

Vaccines don't cause sudden infant death...I do.

[Fist of Etiquette]

...and now they're married.

[I am a ghost, not in the kkk]

That's hot.

[I am a ghost, not in the kkk]

What about cases of "Whooping Crane"?

[I am a ghost, not in the kkk]

Very stupid.

[Fist of Etiquette]

Holy crap, that's Jenny McCarthy? Carrey sure wrecked her.

[I am a ghost, not in the kkk]

Is this a wacky skit? It's not real funny, I liked them better in Happy Gilmore.

[I am a ghost, not in the kkk]

Re--Tard--a--Ion, for the win.

[I am a ghost, not in the kkk]

Spelled wrong, of course.

[Fist of Etiquette]

Dr. Harold Ramis, Pediatrician.

[I am a ghost, not in the kkk]

I would have never taken Stossel for a herdist.

[I am a ghost, not in the kkk]

Statistical murder, John? Now who is using hyperbolic fear mongering...to combat hyperbolic fear mongering.

[I am a ghost, not in the kkk]

Murderer!

[Fist of Etiquette]

Imagine if they combined aluminum and plastic. Fuck, the very idea of it just let the terrorists win.

[I am a ghost, not in the kkk]

Don't forget the frikkin mercury.

[I am a ghost, not in the kkk]

And the squirrels, of course.

[Fist of Etiquette]

Weapons-grade mercury is the only thing keeping the anchor babies at bay.

[I am a ghost, not in the kkk]

I FRIKKINHATE Dem ANCHORBABIESHATE'EM!

KILLEM

COMMANDERHELPME!

[I am a ghost, not in the kkk]

Trying to keep his cool.

[Fist of Etiquette]

Tieless shirt-wearers cause Sudden Fist of Etiquette Rage Syndrome.

[I am a ghost, not in the kkk]

Tom Corbett?

[I am a ghost, not in the kkk]

Old people are afraid that the government is going to take over social security.

[Fist of Etiquette]

She bit into a peanut.

[I am a ghost, not in the kkk]

I had peanuts for lunch, sicko.

[I am a ghost, not in the kkk]

HEE HEE He said dykes!

[I am a ghost, not in the kkk]

Bring it all home, brother.

[Fist of Etiquette]

Stossel wants us all to let our guard down. What's he up to?

[I am a ghost, not in the kkk]

I don't know, but I am sure that it involves Big Business, Bisphenol, and Babies.

[I am a ghost, not in the kkk]

What is it about Imus that makes me wish that he were dead.

I think it is the ersatz cowboy gear, but there has to be more to it than that.

[I am a ghost, not in the kkk]

Only a couple of more comments.

[Fist of Etiquette]

What do I fear most? Horizontal stripes.

[I am a ghost, not in the kkk]

I saw this earlier. I like the skating 'guin, the stripes not so much.

Hope Staal is coming back this weekend, he will be in pure beast mode. Get ready.
I must work and will miss his debut, of course.

Asham is a total fuckhead, and I am glad that we have him. He will become a favorite.

[I am a ghost, not in the kkk]

100, boom, we own this bitch!

[I am a ghost, not in the kkk]

The show after Stossel is what a show would be if an american flag lapel pin could write a show.