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Culture

The Onion on Time

Jesse Walker | 8.25.2010 11:37 AM

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Bonus reading: Reason picks the 10 most absurd Time covers of the last 40 years.

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Jesse Walker is books editor at Reason and the author of Rebels on the Air and The United States of Paranoia.

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  1. Irresponsible Hater   15 years ago

    Brutal.

    1. Wind Rider   15 years ago

      But on Target.

  2. Jeffersonian   15 years ago

    Perfect. Henry Luce must be pegging the tach in his grave.

  3. Warty   15 years ago

    This is especially great, since I liked Time when I was a kid and grew out of it around the time I started high school.

    1. Gabe   15 years ago

      When I was 12, US News and World Report & Newsweek were my favorites. Time was always a little below those.

      The old media is to the medieval church as the internet is to the Guttenburg press.

      The oligarchy will fall and Moynihan and David Brooks will not like it.

    2. JW   15 years ago

      My experience as well. My grandmother got me a sub every year as a present and I finally asked her to stop around when I turned 16.

      Unfortunately, my aunt still gets me National Geographic. I tried to get her to stop, but now she gets it for my kids.

  4. Episiarch   15 years ago

    I don't get it. This is spot on; there's no joke here. I thought The Onion was supposed to be a humor site?

    1. John   15 years ago

      That is why the Onion is not very funny anymore. Reality has passed the point of satire. Twenty years ago, since Time and other newsweeklies at least pretended to be serious, this spot would have been funny. Now, it just reads like a real news report.

      1. joshua corning   15 years ago

        Twenty years ago, since Time and other newsweeklies at least pretended to be serious

        25 years ago i was a teenager....and also when i read time.

        i think you might have to go back longer then 20 years for this to be true.

  5. robc   15 years ago

    The Onion recently released an article about me. Names/locations were changed, but otherwise, pretty damn accurate.

  6. Warty   15 years ago

    Bananas Sweep Primates' Choice Awards Again

    "Everything A Goddamn Ordeal For Area Family" reminds me of quite a few Hit and Run threads, as well.

  7. Attorney   15 years ago

    TIME flies,
    and you are there!
    TIME cries,
    and let's you care!

    Can't remember the rest of the stupid lyrics.

    1. Jesse Walker   15 years ago

      That commercial lasted, what, half an hour? The only good thing I can say about it is it inspired a funny SNL gag, with Bill Murray working the song into one of his Nick the Lounge Singer sketches.

  8. Pro Libertate   15 years ago

    So, which is worse: Time or Newsweek?

    1. Warty   15 years ago

      The answer to that will have to wait until we develop quantum computing.

    2. DADIODADDY   15 years ago

      which is worse, SNL with Bill Murray or SNL without Bill Murray?

    3. Virginia   15 years ago

      Newsweek: the news magazine for the illiterate!

      1. Pro Libertate   15 years ago

        I saw that in the video. So that's one vote for Newsweek.

    4. Apogee   15 years ago

      Which just sold for $1?

  9. Gabe   15 years ago

    Moynihan, do "real journalists" work at Time as well as the New York Times? Your definitions of real journalists are awesome.

  10. joshua corning   15 years ago

    I actually did read Time as a teenager.

    1. Anonymous   15 years ago

      You were a late bloomer, huh?

  11. Anonymous Coward   15 years ago

    I used to read Time, Newsweak, the NYT, USA Today, and the Post-Dispatch.

    Then I got a girlfriend who would lie to me for free.

    Maybe it wasn't the biggest she'd ever seen....

  12. Joel Schlosberg   15 years ago

    It's particularly apt that they have a shot of Time next to Highlights for Children, since I was recently perusing a waiting room copy to see how one of the oldest and cheesiest children's magazines was keeping up with changing times (no pun intended) since when I was a kid. They now have an iPhone app for their picture games and a slicker look for the illustrations, but the features like The Timbertoes and the much-mocked Goofus and Gallant are pretty much the same (though Goofus is now playing portable video games) and they even still have the corny "a book never written" puns submitted by readers.

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