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Science & Technology

Get Your Meta On

Jesse Walker | 6.3.2010 11:20 AM

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The Daily Intel offers a taxonomy of commenting communities, with pithy portraits of the commenters at sites ranging from Jezebel to The New York Post. Unfortunately, the list leaves out Hit & Run, but you can rectify that with your own efforts in -- where else? -- the comments.

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Jesse Walker is books editor at Reason and the author of Rebels on the Air and The United States of Paranoia.

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  1. ?   15 years ago

    Fuck a slideshow, yo.

    (Did they include the "Don't link to fucking slideshows, asshole" commentariat in their taxonomy? It's huge. On the internet.)

    1. strat   15 years ago

      The only thing worse than slideshows are "top 10 lists" by lazy journalists and corporate bloggers who pretend they're actually articles. No, wait, that's the second-to-worst.

      The worst are slideshows of top 10 lists.

  2. P Brooks   15 years ago

    the list leaves out Hit & Run

    We offend their delicate sensibilities, no doubt. Fucking weenies.

  3. Joe M   15 years ago

    They didn't include H&R because we broke their snarkometer.

    1. Mike Laursen   15 years ago

      Yup. Also characteristic are comment threads that break into haiku every once in a while. And extreme importance placed on making and getting rock music references.

  4. Attorney   15 years ago

    Hit & Run:

    1. Lawyers
    2. IT people
    3. Other

    1. Jeff P   15 years ago

      4: Stoners
      5: Stoners with guns
      6: Deep-belivers in the primacy of specific species of beer, pizza, or wine

      1. Attorney   15 years ago

        7. Bots

        1. Zoidburg   15 years ago

          this is so true

          anonymity.com

        2. Zoidburg   15 years ago

          this is so true

          fakesite.com

        3. Nipplemancer   15 years ago

          only sentient bots. Anon-bot is our prophet. PBUH.

          1. The Art-P.O.G.   15 years ago

            only sentient bots. Anon-bot is our prophet. PBUH.

            Ain't this the truth! LOL

            aRT

            1. Tulpa   15 years ago

              > LOL

  5. R C Dean   15 years ago

    pithy portraits of the commenters

    Hit & Run's regulars are profane, erudite, and unusually good-looking. There is a persistent troll infestation of fairly low quality.

    1. Predicador   15 years ago

      I'm just unusual-looking, the rest does apply though.

    2. Warty   15 years ago

      I dunno about y'all, but I am scatatogical, overeducated, and debonair. My infestations are all of high quality.

      1. The Art-P.O.G.   15 years ago

        Warty's self-description is excellent. Most excellent indeed.

    3. A.G. Pym   15 years ago

      Can't resist this one - I tend to be "obsequious, purple, and clairvoyant."

      points for ID'ing the source.

      1. heller   15 years ago

        Steve Martin, Grandmother's Song

    4. strat   15 years ago

      I could swear I just heard Garrison Keillor talking about a town or something.

  6. Spoonman.   15 years ago

    They probably didn't include H&R because there's only like 25 of us.

    1. hmm   15 years ago

      I was leaning towards 12 with multiple personas.

      1. Kool   15 years ago

        Fuck. I'm really one of you?

  7. Groovus Maximus   15 years ago

    pithy portraits of the commenters

    Quality, not quantity, is the standard here. If you can stomach Saccharin Man's repeated attempts to break Teh Internetz, you belong.

    Frequent sasquatch sightings abound!

    1. cavewoman   15 years ago

      Nothing wrong with a hairy man.

      1. JEP   15 years ago

        Birds don't make nests in bare trees.

    2. Tulpa   15 years ago

      Quality, not quantity, is the standard here.

      Speak for yourself, sawbones.

  8. John   15 years ago

    How many other boards can claim a man raping sasquatch and to have run Joe Boyle off?

    1. Warty   15 years ago

      Don't forget Lonewacko.

      1. John   15 years ago

        Yes. Banning Lonewacko may have been Reason's proudest moment.

        1. Warty   15 years ago

          I think the semi-official word is that he wasn't banned after all. We need to pester Matt or Nick into telling us what really happened.

          1. Atanarjuat   15 years ago

            Maybe he finally realized that libertarians don't really support MassiveWelfare, and that he had wasted thousands of hours of his life spamming Reason. Or maybe his mom just kicked his ass out on the street.

          2. hmm   15 years ago

            The Jacket consumed him while the bow tie beat him down.

        2. Gilmore   15 years ago

          Are you fucking kidding me??

          You can't ban our mascot... He was our Gimp!

  9. Warty   15 years ago

    Jezebel: The Fourth Wave Feminists

    If the third wave was baring your belly at a Bikini Kill concert, the fourth is explaining why Taylor Swift is bad for women. But don't get too off-topic: Jezebel editor-in-chief Anna Holmes has taken to publishing weekly commenting lessons ? because Jezebel commenters like to think the site is "theirs."

    They even manage to be intolerable nags to each other, I see.

    1. John   15 years ago

      Wow. I am not sure what is worse the fact that they give them or that their commentators listen.

    2. mr simple   15 years ago

      Yeah, I poorly chose to open that link. It's an incredibly long, condescending lecture. I didn't read most of it, but apparently overuse of sarcasm can get you banned. Just trying to weed out the men, I guess.

      1. zoltan   15 years ago

        And the smart women who can take a fucking joke. Jesus, those are the most humorless broads imaginable.

    3. Dagny T.   15 years ago

      There are also complicated rules about no "body snarking" and soul searching debates over "triggering"* language & links. I wouldn't even know these terms if it weren't for goddamn SugarFree.

      *Meaning: something that could upset someone somewhere- most often about sexual abuse or eating disorders. I guess "STEVE SMITH will rape your babies, fattie" is right out.

      1. John   15 years ago

        Don't you care about the victims of bigfoot rape Dagny?

        1. Groovus Maximus   15 years ago

          Considering she birthed the unholy spawn known as Jr., she is holding up rather well, John.

        2. Dagny T.   15 years ago

          Fact: one in three STEVE SMITH survivors goes on to develop disordered eating habits. They can't look at a plucked chicken without seeing an advancing wall of menacing shaved Sasquatch flesh.

      2. Tulpa   15 years ago

        Like Draw Mohammmed Day?

  10. Dagny T.   15 years ago

    NYT commenters don't even deserve to be called nerds. They're almost as inane as the commenters on your local news site.

    1. Warty   15 years ago

      They're youtube commenters with minor intellectual pretensions - much worse than local news goofballs.

      1. John   15 years ago

        At least the local news guys can be eccentric and funny. The NYT ones are just smug and humorless. No fun at all.

    2. dbcooper   15 years ago

      They get French Canadians on their too ...

  11. The Art-P.O.G.   15 years ago

    Once upon a time, SugarFree, myelf and a third person (I can't recall exactly who) actually did a quality breakdown of the Hit&Run; commentariat. I doubt I'll be able to find it.

    1. Warty   15 years ago

      If anyone can find it, it's SugarFree. He's our Indiana Jones, except with a broken and repulsive body.

      1. The Art-P.O.G.   15 years ago

        Ha ha ha ha, that's fucked up!

  12. The Art-P.O.G.   15 years ago

    The cryptids and the sentient bots are the best, though.

  13. strat   15 years ago

    I was just watching "moot's" TED talk about 4chan. It seems the answer to all existential crises on the internet is anonymity and potty humor by really smart people.

    Hit&Run; would suggest it may be an answer to policy problems as well.

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