Get Your Meta On
The Daily Intel offers a taxonomy of commenting communities, with pithy portraits of the commenters at sites ranging from Jezebel to The New York Post. Unfortunately, the list leaves out Hit & Run, but you can rectify that with your own efforts in -- where else? -- the comments.
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Fuck a slideshow, yo.
(Did they include the "Don't link to fucking slideshows, asshole" commentariat in their taxonomy? It's huge. On the internet.)
The only thing worse than slideshows are "top 10 lists" by lazy journalists and corporate bloggers who pretend they're actually articles. No, wait, that's the second-to-worst.
The worst are slideshows of top 10 lists.
the list leaves out Hit & Run
We offend their delicate sensibilities, no doubt. Fucking weenies.
They didn't include H&R because we broke their snarkometer.
Yup. Also characteristic are comment threads that break into haiku every once in a while. And extreme importance placed on making and getting rock music references.
Hit & Run:
1. Lawyers
2. IT people
3. Other
4: Stoners
5: Stoners with guns
6: Deep-belivers in the primacy of specific species of beer, pizza, or wine
7. Bots
this is so true
anonymity.com
this is so true
fakesite.com
only sentient bots. Anon-bot is our prophet. PBUH.
Ain't this the truth! LOL
aRT
> LOL
pithy portraits of the commenters
Hit & Run's regulars are profane, erudite, and unusually good-looking. There is a persistent troll infestation of fairly low quality.
I'm just unusual-looking, the rest does apply though.
I dunno about y'all, but I am scatatogical, overeducated, and debonair. My infestations are all of high quality.
Warty's self-description is excellent. Most excellent indeed.
Can't resist this one - I tend to be "obsequious, purple, and clairvoyant."
points for ID'ing the source.
Steve Martin, Grandmother's Song
I could swear I just heard Garrison Keillor talking about a town or something.
They probably didn't include H&R because there's only like 25 of us.
I was leaning towards 12 with multiple personas.
Fuck. I'm really one of you?
pithy portraits of the commenters
Quality, not quantity, is the standard here. If you can stomach Saccharin Man's repeated attempts to break Teh Internetz, you belong.
Frequent sasquatch sightings abound!
Nothing wrong with a hairy man.
Birds don't make nests in bare trees.
Quality, not quantity, is the standard here.
Speak for yourself, sawbones.
How many other boards can claim a man raping sasquatch and to have run Joe Boyle off?
Don't forget Lonewacko.
Yes. Banning Lonewacko may have been Reason's proudest moment.
I think the semi-official word is that he wasn't banned after all. We need to pester Matt or Nick into telling us what really happened.
Maybe he finally realized that libertarians don't really support MassiveWelfare, and that he had wasted thousands of hours of his life spamming Reason. Or maybe his mom just kicked his ass out on the street.
The Jacket consumed him while the bow tie beat him down.
Are you fucking kidding me??
You can't ban our mascot... He was our Gimp!
Jezebel: The Fourth Wave Feminists
If the third wave was baring your belly at a Bikini Kill concert, the fourth is explaining why Taylor Swift is bad for women. But don't get too off-topic: Jezebel editor-in-chief Anna Holmes has taken to publishing weekly commenting lessons ? because Jezebel commenters like to think the site is "theirs."
They even manage to be intolerable nags to each other, I see.
Wow. I am not sure what is worse the fact that they give them or that their commentators listen.
Yeah, I poorly chose to open that link. It's an incredibly long, condescending lecture. I didn't read most of it, but apparently overuse of sarcasm can get you banned. Just trying to weed out the men, I guess.
And the smart women who can take a fucking joke. Jesus, those are the most humorless broads imaginable.
There are also complicated rules about no "body snarking" and soul searching debates over "triggering"* language & links. I wouldn't even know these terms if it weren't for goddamn SugarFree.
*Meaning: something that could upset someone somewhere- most often about sexual abuse or eating disorders. I guess "STEVE SMITH will rape your babies, fattie" is right out.
Don't you care about the victims of bigfoot rape Dagny?
Considering she birthed the unholy spawn known as Jr., she is holding up rather well, John.
Fact: one in three STEVE SMITH survivors goes on to develop disordered eating habits. They can't look at a plucked chicken without seeing an advancing wall of menacing shaved Sasquatch flesh.
Like Draw Mohammmed Day?
NYT commenters don't even deserve to be called nerds. They're almost as inane as the commenters on your local news site.
They're youtube commenters with minor intellectual pretensions - much worse than local news goofballs.
At least the local news guys can be eccentric and funny. The NYT ones are just smug and humorless. No fun at all.
They get French Canadians on their too ...
Once upon a time, SugarFree, myelf and a third person (I can't recall exactly who) actually did a quality breakdown of the Hit&Run; commentariat. I doubt I'll be able to find it.
If anyone can find it, it's SugarFree. He's our Indiana Jones, except with a broken and repulsive body.
Ha ha ha ha, that's fucked up!
The cryptids and the sentient bots are the best, though.
I was just watching "moot's" TED talk about 4chan. It seems the answer to all existential crises on the internet is anonymity and potty humor by really smart people.
Hit&Run; would suggest it may be an answer to policy problems as well.