Friday Funnies

Tax time

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  1. Good Morning reason!

    Sorry Henry, I missed a turn in your cartoon someplace.

    1. The IRS monster under the bed asked them if they had health insurance yet, implying that the IRS is impatient to collect on the penalty for not having health insurance.

      D- for clarity, B+ for joke

      1. Thanks for the explanation. Two captions might have worked better. A+ for the representation of the agent under the bed.

  2. Hair all mussed, splatterings on the wall and lamp, they just had sex, right? That grinning IRS agent is a pervert.

    1. Pervert is sort of harsh. Voyeur maybe? IRS agent is invective enough.

  3. Anyone catch Rep. Debbie Wasserman Schultz’s (D.-Fla.) statement yesterday that health insurance is not mandated under ObamaCare?

    “What we’re doing is that you will be in a different tax status if you carry insurance versus not carrying health insurance,” said the congresswoman. “So you can feel free to choose not to carry health insurance — that’s just going to be reflected in the tax category that you’re in on your tax return.”

    So there’s no mandate or tax. Just a nice, clean, tax-bracket shift. She’s lying, but doesn’t that sound so much better than “penalty”?

    1. If it makes you feel better, we can say that everyone who has insurance gets a tax break.

      I have a feeling it won’t.

      1. You mean a rebate on a product you are forced to buy? That’s swell.

        1. I was thinking more along the lines that if you have a job that provides health insurance, or if you are married to someone who has a job with health insurance, then you get a “tax break”.

          But that works too.

          1. “Broken tax” is an increasingly better expression.

    2. This is not a ban on black people voting, they’ll just have a different tax status if they choose to vote. So they can feel free to choose not to vote.

    3. Dis is a real nice tax bracket you got here. It’d be a shame if something should, ah, happen to it… ain’t dat right, fellas?

      Look, folks, me an’ my associates here would hate to have to imply anyt’ing, but our boss, see, he ain’t so understandin’. A mook’s gotta do what he’s told, after all. I’m just sayin’ yiz oughta go buy some healt’ insoiance. Capiche?

  4. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

  5. “I heard it, too! Let’s both shoot at the count of 3.”

  6. “Christ, what an asshole.”

  7. “What we’re doing is that you will be in a different criminal legal tax status if you carry insurance versus not carrying health insurance.”

  8. I’d rather have the IRS under my bed than Debbie Wasserman Schuuuuultz!

    1. The doctor should have taken a little off her nose when he was taking a lot off her chest.

  9. Very Creppy

    1. Is that a portmanteau of “creepy” and “crappy”? I do love the illustration.

  10. What we’re doing is that you will be in a different tax incarceration status if you carry insurance versus not carrying health insurance,” said the congresswoman. “So you can feel free to choose not to carry health insurance — that’s just going to be reflected in your mailing address if you don’t pay the tax imposed by the tax category that you’re in on your tax return.

  11. Took a second or two to get it but that one was pretty good.

    Well, everyone, hows it feel now that your bodies are US Government property?
    Better take good care of them, Sam doesn’t mind getting ’em shot full of holes or blown into pieces, but he gets really POed if you mess it up. Show up with a bad sunburn, infected tattoo, dented up from fighting, whatever, and he’ll article 15 your ass.

    Well, maybe not, but since that is how the government approached it in the military I’ve got this nagging feeling that what is coming won’t be that different, maybe just force you to pay for insurance that’s useless because you smoke, or drink, or dope, or in some way offends them because you aren’t toeing the line with your health so your endangering EVERYONE’s health care with your abusing your own health.

    Looks like I get to be a guinea pig on this one because this is where I finally draw the line. I’m not cooperating, period. I refuse to be told I have to buy it, not buying it, not taking it, not even if they try to sign me up for free. They can fine me and call it a tax, I’ll switch gears and only work for cash.under the table. Guess I’ll find out if they’ll really send a person to prison. If they’re willing to carry out that outrage it’s unlikely at my age I’m just going say OK YOU WIN! so I’d most likely take up where I left off but do one of my disappearing acts first. One thing that’s certain is I’m not being run out of this country by anyone.

    Something tells me they’re bluffing, looks like I’ll find out.

    Need to talk to my lawyer, see what his take on all this is, maybe there’s something I can do ahead of time to give myself some immunity.

    Do any of you know about this Arizona Sheriff Mack? He claims law enforcement and the feds are way out of bounds. He’s endorsing a local candidate I’m thinking of trying to help get elected here, he swears he will not let the feds arrest anyone here for any of this kind of stuff. I like the sheriff we have, he stays the fuck out of our business. But this new one sounds better, he plans on informally deputizing practically everyone he can, so in event they try to take some one out of this county, arrest them, they’ll have some kind of reverse 911 they’ll use so a couple hundred deputized people will show up to prevent them (them = FBI, US Marshall, DEA, BATF, etc) from taking their target. He said the feds are supposed to check in with him before arresting anyone, and he’d advise them they can’t. He’s a retired sheriff who says he’s coming out of retirement because he can’t stomach watching what’s happening any longer and just let it go.

    Can they do that?

    I’ve never heard of any of this until a few months ago, I’m from Maricopa County, Arizona. Sheriff Joe’s county, but I’ve been living in Montana for the last 8 years.

    1. You’re in luck:
      http://biggovernment.com/mrich…..l-mandate/

  12. I like its subtlety. I declare it good.

    Hey folks, the jokes don’t always come with a roadmap.

    1. I like this one, too. It’s grown on me. Seriously, it’s subtlety gives it a bit of staying power.

  13. “Wait, your anus is bleeding? So’s mine!”

  14. Yeah… sigh. If only the jokes were ever, idk, funny. Might just as well run Marmaduke here, I understand it has fans.

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  16. I see that the Court granted cert in EMA v. Schwarzenegger, the video game regulation case. The lower court reached the correct decision, but lots of states keep trying bans that get struck down. It’ll be interesting to see the ruling.

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