What a Week at Reason.tv: Why The Stimulus Failed, Fish Pedicures, Health Care Deficits, Jamie Oliver, & Tucker Carlson!

Twas a busy week at Reason.tv, with vids out about why the stimulus failed, how New Hampshire is banning fish pedicures, why health care reform won't save a red cent in terms of federal deficits, how celebrity chef Jamie Oliver's "food revolution" is bunkum, and what Tucker Carlson thinks of Jon Stewart. Check them all out at Reason.tv.

And watch the best 12-second video we've ever produced by clicking below.

Comments

[Almanian]

The “Dramatic” video never gets old. Thanks.

[Suki]

Good Morning reason!

[Groovus Maximus]

Good morning Suki!

[PIRS]

Good morning Suki!!!

[Almanian]

Good afternoon, Suki and all other Reasonoids!

[Suki]

Hello GM, PIRS and Almanian.

Good morning again!

[Door A or B]

GM, Suki

[Suki]

Good morning Door!

[Door A or B]

Suki, I’m a bit disappointed you didn’t say: knock, knock

[Suki]

Sorry! My brain was still running in reverse this morning.

[aps]

Jesus, get a blog already, will ya?

[Door A or B]

aps, I’ll show you mine, if you’ll show me yours;-)

[Mavis Skeet]

Good morning, Suki!

Wait, I’m dead…

[Suki]

Good morning Marvis!

[Suki]

Good Monday Morning reason!

Is the last H&R thread ever?

[Fist of Etiquette]

I read the groundhog is beating Olbermann in the ratings.

[Keith]

That’s a lie!

[Keith]

Tea-Bagger!

[Fist of Etiquette]

Getting labeled Worst Person in the World (or whatever the fuck he calls it) is on my bucket list.

[Keith]

Worst Person in the World? is a registered trademark, Goddamn it! I’ll sue you, you…you homophobic Tea-Bagging, knuckle-dragging reprobate!

[Fist of Etiquette]

I will give you ten thousand dollars if you can find video footage of me being that.

[Laurence O'Donnell]

So sorry. Keith is on vacation again…you scumbag right-wing Tea-Bagging Palin-muncher.

[Laurence O'Donnell]

Not that there’s anything wrong with that.

[Suki]

Mine too FoE. When you really get down to it I only had that and getting censured by the Canadian Parliament on my bucket list, but Ann Coulter just did the last one so I am crossing it off.

[PIRS]

As a professional librarian I can tell you for a fact that a work being censured dramatically increases the likelihood it will make lots of money. There are many authors who most people never would have made enough to quit their day-jobs had it not been because someone got pissed off at them and tried to censor their work and/or restrict its access to children who they believe would die if they learned about sex, gay people and or non-Christian religions. Ann Coulter will probably sell more books to Canadians as a result.

[PIRS]

AHHH I meant censored not censured. It is early morning I just woke up please forgive me.

[Suki]

So, how do we get John’s or my work censured or censored?

[PIRS]

Try to market it in Saudi Arabia.

[Suki]

Great idea! I am a little surprised that the fourth book in the original series isn’t banned in Iran already.

[Groundhog]

Suck it up Keith. I don’t allow my bitches to be weak.

[Chipmunk]

Word

[Forrest]

The Reason Foundation: A Los Angeles-based libertarian political think tank whose video production wing’s most popular video is 12 seconds long and involves a chipmunk.

You should put that in your letters begging for donations.

[Alvin]

As the President of the Greater Los Angeles Chipmunk Actor’s Guild, I have been granted the authority to state firmly and unequivocally that the chipmunk in question is no chipmunk! He is an imposter! A furry charlatan! He cannot and will not represent us, the Greater Los Angeles Chipmunk Actor’s Guild. Amen!

[Suki]

Reason does not BEG for donations. They tie blonde Caucasian girls to railroad tracks and demand contributions from others as they twirl their handlebar mustaches.

[jester]

They make hot babes lick lobsters-spiny lobsters!

[Suki]

jester,

How do you know my most vulnerable spots?

Behold!

[Jeffersonian]

You never want to go full retard, Forrest.

[juris imprudent]

The real question is, which one does Richard Gere find most appealing?

[Richard Gere]

Why, … Theodore, of course.

[Julia Roberts]

Cad. I knew the rumors about you and rodents were true.

[Goood mornin' Vietnaaaaammmm!!]

A little ironic that most of the fish salon operators in the U.S. are from one-party states, like Vietnam (where there’s currently no legal prohibitions to this at all). Paging Mr Eisenhower, Mr. Kennedy, Mr. Johnson, Mr. Nixon.

[PIRS]

I think it was P.J. O’Rourke who wrote an article about the rise of Capitalism in Vietnam and at the tail end of the article he wrote “Shhh …. they think they won.”

[Tulpa]

Dogs strike back against cops

Warning: graphic destruction of pubic property.

[Nipplemancer]

This dog needs to be cloned.

[Tulpa]

A judge sentenced him to obedience school yesterday. Also, he will have to wear a tag that says “potentially dangerous”. Not sure how that’s going to make him not go after a giant chew toy on wheels when the fancy strikes him.

[hmm]

As long as the chew toy is a cop car who cares.

[Kant feel Pietzsche]

Tulpa, you fitznozzle! I was SO excited anticipating damage to PUBIC property! And then…despair.

[hmm]

Is it sad that I actually think the cop deserves a commendation for not just shooting the dog?

[Tulpa]

I was thinking more along the lines of not running the dog over, but yeah.

[CoyoteBlue]

He’s doing God’s work.

[Tulpa]

Most of the news stories, desperate to be witty, wryly declare that the dog was “taking a bite out of crime”. I don’t think they’ve thought through the full implications of such an interpretation.

[Cult of Personality]

Pubic property?

I don’t think I want to click on that link, actually.

[Tulpa]

It was supposed to be public property.

[Art-P.O.G.]

You certainly don’t want to confuse the two, old bean.

[Almanian]

I don’t know how the cops restrained themselves from shooting these foaming-at-the mouth attack beasts.

Mostly I was thinking what a bunch of pussies the cops were. Go dog, go!

[sage]

Instead, they’re laughing and saying “those poor sap taxpayers are gonna buy my a new bumper. HA!”

[PapayaSF]

I’ll see your Dramatic Olbermann vs. Dramatic Chipmunk and raise you the OMG Cat.

[Marc]

God damn, is there anything cat-related the internet can’t do?

[Bin Jones]

Wow, what a week indeed. Total insanity!

Bim
http://www.anonymizer.us.tc

[better than 10 secs]

“And watch the best 12-second video we’ve ever produced by clicking below.” Funny, men usually don’t brag about things that last 12 seconds.

[Groovus Maximus]

Unless it’s flatulence or a controlled belch.

[Tulpa]

Really? Winning a boxing prizefight in 12 seconds would be something to brag about.

Most Super Bowl-winning touchdown plays last even less than 12 seconds and that’s something people brag about for the rest of their lives.

Or if you insist on a lewd interpretation, giving a 12 second orgasm to a woman would be something to brag about.

[Groovus Maxmimus]

Tulpa, I swear you’re about as much fun as a sack of wet mice sometimes.

True about the prizefight, unless it was fixed.

It’s not the touchdown, it’s the win that’s most bragged about. It’s the outcome that counts.

It’s the woman who will brag about the 12< sec “O” to her friends. Not the man, unless the woman specifically tells him and even then she could be faking and sparing his “fragile male ego”.

[Tulpa]

She wasn’t faking, dammit! I could tell!

[Groovus Maximus]

That’s what they all say, Tulpa. That’s what they all say.

Women, in their convoluted wisdom, know for that for men ignorance is bliss. Unless explicit desemenated knowledge serves their own purposes….(pun intended)

[Tulpa]

No, I don’t think she would be bold enough to lie about that. I had a stopwatch out, so she must have known she couldn’t fool me.

[Groovus Maximus]

A stopwatch? LOL

Nothing screams eroticism like quantification and a Timex.

Methinks you underestimate the wiles of the fairer sex.

But, if you are both enjoying sustained bliss, no senses in fixing what isn’t broken, no?

[Tulpa]

You wouldn’t cook a steak without a timer and a thermometer. Doesn’t the act of pleasuring a woman deserve just as much attention as prepping a piece of meat with a big bone in it that you will have forgotten by tomorrow morning?

[Warty]

You need a timer to cook your steak? You make me sick.

[Tulpa]

You wanna see sick? I could show you some beef tapeworms that would put hair back on your chest.

[Reg Barclay]

“oh shhiiiiiiitttt!”

— “Did you just CUM INSIDE ME?!”

“no, no, no, I just hit STOP instead of LAP. we have to start over.”

[Troy]

I have that trouble wid warty all th time!!!

[Ghost of Schr?dinger's cat]

They only lie because they think we care

[Kant feel Pietzsche]

While women can fake an orgasm, we can fake an entire relationship. zing!

[$]

Q: Why do women fake orgasms?

A: Because they think we care.

[rctl]

If you cared, she wouldn’t be faking.

[Tulpa]

The challenge for us guys is to fake not having an orgasm. If you know what I mean.

[rctl]

Mmmm

[ShrimpSuck.org]

Hope Jamie let’s everyone know the truth about AMerica’s #1 seafood!

[PapayaSF]

Go away, enviro-spammer. Don’t make me bring out the lemon wedges.

[moop]

I guess dogs think cop cars smell like bacon, too.

[dissertation contents page]

great article, thanks for putting this together! “This is obviously one great post. Thanks for the valuable information and insights you have so provided here. Keep it up!”
dissertation table of contents

[jester]

Olbermannnnn (how many ns?) is such an easy target. The Jacket, as Senior Editor didn’t fabricate this outta keepin’ the job, he presented it to us as another reminder of reinforcing how much we are disgusted by someone by whom we are already disgusted. Mel Brooks took this approach to its extreme and the only way his older films are funny is that older viewers understand the vaudevillean running gags. Not to say that the running gag is bad comedy.

[Actually...]

I think the best video you guys ever did was that Thanksgiving one that ended with Nick Gillespie realizing there was nothing to be grateful for politically, and hanging himself.

[Tulpa]

No, the best one was the one where Weigal got fed into the wood chipper.

[Art-P.O.G.]

Et tu, Tulpa? Et tu?

[Tulpa]

Sic semper Weigalis!

[hmm]

They clog much easier than you would think. Especially with wet squishy things.

[Tulpa]

That’s why you have to dehydrate the victim first.

[Groovus Maximus]

“Dessication…It’s not just for breakfast anymore!”

[jay]

Great SITE for Documentaries check it out,

http://freeviewdocumentaries.com

[sage]

Beat it, spammer. Before the privacy bot wades through your bodyguards and rips your fucking heart out.

[Art-P.O.G.]

+1. Anonymity bot is the only spammer we love.

[CoyoteBlue]

For weekend anger:
If you dissent you are racist.
Probably worst than the KKK.

[Jeff]

Christ, they might as well have strung Pelosi up since they’re going to be accused of wanting to do it anyway.

[PIRS]

“Those were the faces I saw at a David Duke rally in Metairie, La., in 1991: sullen with resentment, wallowing in victimhood, then exploding with yells of excitement as the ex-Klansman and Republican gubernatorial candidate spewed vitriolic white-power rhetoric. ”

Of course what the article fails to mention is that the rest of the Republican Party urged people to vote AGAINST David Duke. On the other hand I have not seen any rejection of Senator Byrd on the part of the rest of the Democratic Party.

[Suki]

Aw, PIRS, be fair. Byrd hasn’t uttered a racial slur in weeks.

[Almanian]

Hence, an explanation for the familiarity of faces: today’s Tea Party adherents are George Wallace legacies.

So apparently they weren’t going to be admitted to the Tea Party on the strength of their HS grades and ACT/SAT scores.

[Art-P.O.G.]

sullen with resentment, wallowing in victimhood

LOL

[PIRS]

Methinks the author was projecting.

[Art-P.O.G.]

You completely got what I was saying, PIRS. I wasn’t sure it was clear.

[Jeffersonian]

The KKK took Obammy away…

[Suki]

+1 Ramones!

[Kant feel Pietzsche]

Great Chthulu!! This kind of shit is how Nixon got elected!

[Fist of Etiquette]

And watch the best 12-second video we’ve ever produced by clicking below.

Nick is saying that, of all the 12-second videos Reason has produced, this is the best. It’s a narrow category to be sure, however I dare anyone else to find another 12-second video that is its match.

[Prolefeed]

I think Nick was being wry, like the way I refer “compliment” my youngest daughter by referring to her “as the best younger daughter I’ve ever had”, generally after she has misbehaved.

[Door A or B]

As long has her reply isn’t: you’re the best daddy that I can see right now;-)

[Fist of Etiquette]

I think Nick was being honest. It is the best 12-second video they’ve ever done. The fact that it’s the only 12-second video they’ve ever done shouldn’t detract from that.

[sage]

Picture of joe found the morning after celebrating the passing of Obamacare.

[Episiarch]

That can’t be joe, he’s not wearing a gorilla suit.

[sage]

That can’t be joe, he’s not wearing a gorilla suit mask.

Maybe someone pissed in his face and it washed off.

[Tulpa]

The problem with the Olbermann vs. Chipmunk video is not that it’s 12 seconds long — it’s that it’s not 4 seconds long. You really don’t need the separate chipmunk and Olbermann shots — just do the two of them together, as you do at the end.

[better than 10 secs]

Tulpa, I will never look at a timer and a thermometer without a smile .;-)

[FBI agent]

If anyone has any information regarding Colbert King’s rape and murder of a girl in 1990, please contact your local police or the FBI. Thank you, racists.

[CoyoteBlue]

Evolution

[TP]

After watching the testimony of Federal Reserve Chairman Ben “Helicopter” Bernanke before Congress, I’ve come to the conclusion that Global Warming is the direct result of all of the smoke that Bernanke is blowing up everyone’s asses.

[Banjos Kick Ass]

+1
(Yeah bitches, I’m still doing the +1 thing, try and stop me!)

[Suki]

+1

[TP]

FYI:

If you settle an old credit card debt for less than the balance, you may have to declare the difference as income.

http://www.courierpostonline.c…..g-on-taxes

[Barrel Head]

Interesting article TP. It is unfortunate that those who fall into the cc debt trap are most likely ill-equipped to understand the tax implications. I wonder if the interest itself is subject to a 1099-C? It would seem prudent to have the interest discharged or reduced and then have the original debt forgiven.

[P Brooks]

If you deny the credit card company of taxable income, you’re stealing from the government.

[Valerie Jarrett ? CBO]

A sample of today’s Sunday Morning Circle Jerk:

TAPPER: OK, this is a very large and bold and wide-reaching piece of legislation. And obviously, CBO, the Congressional Budget Office and others, can predict what’s going to happen, but we don’t really know what’s going to happen. Is the president willing to go back and fine-tune or change parts of the legislation if there are side effects, if there are things that don’t work out the way we want them to work out?

JARRETT: Well, look, let’s try what we’ve put in place. As a past practice, the Congressional Budget Office tends to be very conservative, and usually the cost savings are even greater.

[tortillapete]

One is a beady-eyed rodent, the other is a chipmunk…

[Kolohe]

It’s fairly old hat for write downs of debt to be taxable. It creates a fairly obvious loophole if it weren’t there.

[Apostate Jew]

Please don’t bring fact and logic into the argument. You’ll ruin the the atmosphere of rumor and panic.

http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/2294181/posts

[nut n new]

So a Republican Senator says that HCR will “end ALL other health care options by also purposefully and maliciously undercutting all private plans. Pure Stalinist medicine.” It was more interesting to look up SCHEDULE M. 😉

[Apostate Jew]

I hope you save yourself a few dollars on your taxes.

I used the link because some military friends of mine were complaining that socialized medicine was going to replace TriCare which is … umm … socialized medicine.

I don’t think that Free Republic was making the argument that socialized medicine, while more than good enough for our soldiers, is not good enough for our civilians but one never knows.

[Jess Jones]

Do you think it actually did fail? Looks like things are on the upswing now.

Jess
http://www.anon-web-surfing.it.tc

[Door A or B]

Anon-bot, better be careful or they will try to pull your plug.;-)

[Jess Jones]

No they won’t!

Jess
http://www.anon-web-surfing.it.tc

[Door A or B]

Clearly, you would be a danger to Libertarians taking over the world. First, they would need to retrieve any store bits of vital information. Can you imagine what deadly torture they would use on your hard, shiny and metallic body? I am sure you have heard of water-boarding? Can a computer board resist a water-induced short circuit?

[prolefeed]

Offtopic:

Lobster Girl doesn’t have a monopoly on sideboob versus Catwoman

[Daddy's girl]

Is she your youngest or oldest?

[Brian E]

In other news: science has now proven that heroin is no more addictive than food. Can we end the drug war now?

[Banjos Kick Ass!]

You silly na?ve bastard, all this study is going to do is make government nannies panties wet, giving them the excuse they have been looking for to intensify the War on Junk Food.

[wylie]

Please. Stop. Giving. Them. Ideas.

[Kant feel Pietzsche]

http://www.businessweek.com/ne…..rhaul.html

Another Marxist lets his freak flag fly. Sen. Max Baucus quote:

“This is also an income shift,” Baucus said. “It’s a shift, a leveling toward lower-income Americans.” Americans’ income distribution has been thrown off in recent years, he said.

“The wealthy are getting way too wealthy,” Baucus said. “This will help to address that maldistribution among all Americans.”

These pricks always inadvertantly tell the truth if you let them talk long enough.

Why the fuck doesn’t THE HILL look like the mob scene from an old Frankenstein movie???

[Apostate Jew]

Because the lower income people vastly outnumber the higher income people?

Because the higher income people would rather to go to work?

[James Woods, circa 1968]

Hugh, I love ya, babe! Love your trumpet skills, your Afro-Latin Jazz compositional stylings, that first rate singing, and even your deft hand with the flugelhorn. I usually hate on the flugel.

I think you have a real hit on your hands with that ‘Grazing in the Grass’ thingie. But you know what that song could really use? More cowbell.