Another Sign of Hard Economic Times: Sperm Bank Applications Up
More men are seeking to enhance their bottom lines by selling a renewable resource located below their belts. According to the financial reporting and advice blog Minyanville:
Applications for sperm?donation are way up across the country. And why shouldn't they be? Selling sperm for cash has long been considered a get-rich-quick?scheme of sorts for men during recessions.
Ty Kaliski, Director of Operations at Cryos International in New York told me that he's seen an increase of 50-100 applicants a week.
Scott Brown, Communications Manager at California Cryo -- one of the nation's oldest and largest sperm banks - told me that he's seen a 15-20% increase in potential?donors.
How much could aspiring gamete generators earn?
While it's refreshing to think that thousands of young men are lining up to donate their DNA because it makes them feel good, the financial benefits of sperm donation are a more likely motivator.
At Biogenetics in Mountainside, New Jersey, men get paid $100 per sample. Donations are limited to a one-year window, but if you can manage two visits a week you could theoretically earn $10,400 (not to mention experiencing the rare, paternal joy of having fathered 104 kids).
Donors at Biogenetics can earn as much as $500 per sample if they enroll in a new program called Open ID that allows sperm recipients to meet the donors face to face.
So far only two individuals have participated in the new program.
And selling sperm nowadays involves more than just making an occasional deposit.
…you also have to be 5'10 or taller, go through a series of interviews, take numerous semen and blood tests, submit a family history that goes back at least 3 generations, and have graduated from or be enrolled in a 4-year university. Oh, and the competition is stiff. Most of the accepted donors have gone to places like Stanford, Princeton, Yale, and UCLA.
"It's easier to get into Harvard than Cryo," Brown joked.
Whole Minyanville article on this latest indicator of economic hardship can be found here.
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the competition is stiff.
I bet they are.
"Oh, and the competition is stiff."
I wonder if that was intentional, but it's funny as hell either way.
5' 10"? Short people got no reason to live.
Damn, Kevin beat me to it. And the Open ID thing seems a little awkward.
Damn, Kevin beat me to it. And the Open ID thing seems a little awkward.
WALKS INTO ROOM AND LOOKS AT HUSBAND
TOM: Hi. I'm Tom, and I'll be impregnating your wife today. And you are?
While it's refreshing to think that thousands of young men are lining up to donate their DNA because it makes them feel good
The author must really love to think about other guys masturbating.
When you go twice a week, is it a re-bate?
At Biogenetics in Mountainside, New Jersey, men get paid $100 per sample. Donations are limited to a one-year window, but if you can manage two visits a week you could theoretically earn $10,400
Oh, I've been able to "manage" more than two "visits" per week since I was 12 or 13.
The height requirement is annoying. Its bad enough that women care so much about height, but the fact that they don't even require IQ testing is revealing.
Once genetic engineering is widely available, women will all try to make their children above average in height. Eventually humanity will consist of 14 feet tall morons.
I qualify, so I have no objections. I wonder if my wife would let me do this if I offered to split the $52K? Hmmmmm.
Nah.
Every sperm is sacred
Every sperm is great
When a sperm gets wasted
God gets quite irrate.
Is anyone else completely appalled by that sperm?
I mean, what kind of mind envisions sperm with teeth and shades?
The height requirement is annoying. Its bad enough that women care so much about height, but the fact that they don't even require IQ testing is revealing.
Lifetime TV sez all men r dum. Watch it for a half hour and, if you haven't blown your brains out in despair for the human race, you wouldn't see any point in IQ testing men either.
I mean, what kind of mind envisions sperm with teeth and shades?
Didn't we elect one Prez during the 90s?
Autobukkake is a rich man's luxury nowadays.
Making easy cash
Doing something that I love
Watch me shoot my load
I mean, what kind of mind envisions sperm with teeth and shades?
Along those lines, what kind of mind envisions sperm as tiny microphones?
I mean, what kind of mind envisions sperm with teeth and shades?
Kind of looks like Jabberjaw.
You'd have to be out of your freaking mind to let the bun-warmer know who her baby daddy is. Why dangle another financial target in front of potential future single mother?
Check out the alt tag for a dig on a former reason commenter.
JB, that is racist.
I mean, what kind of mind envisions sperm with teeth and shades?
How did you think they got into the egg? They chew their way in. Did you play pocket pool all the way through health class?
If there isn't a Hallmark card for this already, there will be.
SPERM DONNING--IT'S WACKY!
Check out the alt tag for a dig on a former reason commenter.
It's especially cruel when you remember that he didn't have any testicles and couldn't produce sperm. Just having slack and empty wrinklesac flapping below a flaccid micropenis is why he was always so angry, you know.
I'm donating some right.......now.
If there isn't a Hallmark card for this already, there will be.
There is, but it's stuck together.
5'10? Whew, I just made it. However, I'm really tired of being objectified by the matriarchy.
"You'd have to be out of your freaking mind to let the bun-warmer know who her baby daddy is. Why dangle another financial target in front of potential future single mother?"
RC--aren't there laws that absolve sperm donors of any sort of parental or monetary responsibility?
I'm not sure what the laws are, but I'm pretty sure I've read a couple of articles about donors getting hauled in before a judge and made to pay child support.
Hell, there have been poor saps with the same name who didn't produce the sperm that are on the hook for child support "cuz someone gotta pay!"
You'd have to be out of your freaking mind
Or an idiot. Idiot sperm for sale.
You know, you always hear that one man produces enough sperm to repopulate the planet. I'm surprised some dictator hasn't attempted to do that, at least in the country that he controls.
You know, you always hear that one man produces enough sperm to repopulate the planet. I'm surprised some dicktator hasn't attempted to do that, at least in the country that he controls.
he Boeing Company [NYSE: BA] and the U.S. Air Force on Aug. 30 defeated a ground target from the air with the Advanced Tactical Laser (ATL) aircraft, demonstrating ATL's first air-to-ground, high-power laser engagement of a tactically representative target.
During the test, the C-130H aircraft took off from Kirtland Air Force Base, N.M., and fired its high-power chemical laser through its beam control system while flying over White Sands Missile Range, N.M. The beam control system acquired the ground target -- an unoccupied stationary vehicle -- and guided the laser beam to the target, as directed by ATL's battle management system. The laser beam's energy defeated the vehicle.
http://boeing.mediaroom.com/index.php?s=43&item=817
SPERM DONNING--IT'S WACKY!
No, it's bukakke.
chemical laser? what ever happened to going organic?
"The laser beam's energy defeated the vehicle." What does this mean? Defeated how?
"You know, you always hear that one man produces enough sperm to repopulate the planet. I'm surprised some dictator hasn't attempted to do that, at least in the country that he controls."
I gave it my best.
"Check out the alt tag for a dig on a former reason commenter."
Up yours Ronald Baily!
demonstrating ATL's first air-to-ground, high-power laser engagement of a tactically representative target.
Good thing someone remembered to clean their optics.
Pro Libertate | September 1, 2009, 3:57pm | #
rock, paper, laser
Today, President Obama's campaign organization "Organizing for America" sent out a notice to its "grassroots" supporters. It asked them to wage a coordinated phone campaign for health care by calling their U.S. Senators on September 11 - also known as Patriot Day in honor of the thousands of Americans killed by Al Qaeda terrorists eight years ago. It goes on: "All 50 States are coordinating in this - as we fight back against our own Right-Wing Domestic Terrorists who are subverting the American Democratic Process, whipped to a frenzy by their Fox Propaganda Network ceaselessly re-seizing power for their treacherous leaders." Please read that again.
http://blog.heritage.org/2009/09/01/obamas-team-crosses-the-rhetorical-line/
Spock
http://blog.heritage.org/2009/09/01/obamas-team-crosses-the-rhetorical-line/
fuck those god damned sons of bitches!
these people are so fucking stupid, at least they're stupid enough to continually tip their hands...
Just think, future parents, your kids could grow up to one day find themselves in a classroom on September the 8th, posed with the question, "What is the President trying to tell me? What is the President asking me to do?"
When I think of the money that, over the years, I've let slip through my fingers...
SF, You are always ready with either a disturbing piece of prose or an 80s movie reference. This thread is why I read comment.
LOL
Why don't they simply round up potential right-wing terrorists and ship them to Guantanamo?
Thanks, Clich? Bandit,
Hopefully you're reading this thread. I'm droppin' science knowledge in y'all's brainholes.
My god! I've wasted a fortune.
From the bottom of that Organizing for America web page "41953690525 people have signed up to attend this event".
WTF
Forty-two billion? Damn, that's one popular president.
Would you could you spank on a plane
Would you could you spank on a train
I would I could if the price is right
I would I will for $100 alright
Lifetime TV sez all men r dum. Watch it for a half hour and, if you haven't blown your brains out in despair for the human race, you wouldn't see any point in IQ testing men either.
Lifetime does have one show that treats men with respect: Army Wives. I highly recommend it.
Canada has only 33 sperm donors. Canadian Fertility and Andrology Society estimates that up to 80 per cent of babies conceived in Canada through donor sperm have American DNA.
Can the offspring produced by Yank wank US male sperm, get citizenship or just a green card? Do Yank sperm exports fall under NAFTA? Or maybe the softwood lumber agreement?
We had Cash for Clunkers, so how about Yank wank for Canada.
It shouldn't be too hard for this to come to a head through a mutual exchange of goods and services. The two countries could pull together on the issue. It could lead to a positive and moving climax and eject President Obama out of the current domestic stickiness and on to new realms where he can release, again, his seeds of hope and change on new ground. The time for mouthing slippery platitudes has come and gone. The President must now grab on to something he can handle. And I have no doubt the President can manipulate this skillfully. It seems there's a fertile opening to engage with our neighbor to the north. The neighbor who accepts a less rigid type of international intercourse. And handling this in a smooth and skillful way, will eventually release the pressure while stiffening the President's currently softening domestic pole poll numbers. Let's all do this, and pull with the President right now.
I'm sure that feeling good is part of the process of sperm donation.
I hear Genghis Khan probably got the closest.
NBA great Wilt "the Stilt" Chamberlain might place a close 2nd...