"This is a gremlin… This is a hooker"

The New York Post has some fun today at the expense of former New York Gov. Elliot Spitzer, who went on the Today Show yesterday to mend his sullied reputation:

Disgraced former Gov. Eliot Spitzer, speaking publicly for the first time about the sex scandal that toppled him from power, yesterday blamed his dalliance with a $4,000-an-hour call girl on mischievous, mythical critters.

"Like most of us, I suppose, I've had flaws," he told Matt Lauer on NBC's "Today" show.

"I've tried to think about it deeply, address it. There are no excuses. I have tried to address these gremlins, confront them," the bumbling former pol said, as if he were battling the furious furballs from the '80s horror flick.

Just to help Spitzer keep things straight, the Post created a handy graphic constrasting the "furious furballs" with call girl Ashley Dupre. Enjoy.

Reason on Spitzer here and here.

Comments

[Art-P.O.G.]

Ooh, Urkobold scooped you on this.

[Chris Berez]

as if he were battling the furious furballs from the '80s horror flick.

*ahem* The "furious furballs" were not gremlins. They only transform into gremlins if they eat after midnight. In their furious furball form they are mogwai.

End of nerd rage.

[Naga Sadow]

I'd hit it. Just sayin'.

[Hugh Akston]

Note to the Post:

Having sex for money is not a character flaw. It is this country's oldest and most revered institution. So important is it that many states and even the feds have introduced (and even passed) Defense of [having sex for money] amendments.

[Episiarch]

"Always slippery"

I don't care what anyone says, I will always love The Post. HO NO!

[R C Dean]

I almost threw up my breakfast when I saw the 'tards at the Today show touting their interview with Spitzer, with his grinning mug in their studio.

[Taktix?]

I am so sick of this bullshit excuse of "I'm trying to fight the demons/gremlins/boogeymen."

Just say, "I wanted to get laid and didn't realize how much it would cost me." There you go -- admitting your "mistake" and your guilt.

But blaming some non-existent creatures for your faults is such a fucking cop-out, and I suppose the demons were just sleeping or on break while you were at work, huh?

(Standard Libertarian Disclaimer: I fully support legal prostitution, but I also support a guy getting in trouble for the same reason said guy was going after people)

[Xeones]

Note to Naga:

We already knew that.

[Naga Sadow]

Awwwwwwww, Xeones. You know me so well. It shows you care.

[PeplsfrntOJudea]

Just add water to a politician and let them eat after midnight and look what happens.

[the innominate one]

I can't imagine the Urkobold will be very happy to have been plagiarized this way. I can see the taints withering already.

[domoarrigato]

humping call girls is the ONLY thing I admire about Eliot Spitzer.

[dhex]

i would love to ask him "were you fighting demons when you prosecuted people and held sanctimonious press conferences about the evils of sexual commerce?"

[DADIODADDY]

How much does a gremlin charge for a blowjob? esp. with those teeth.

[domoarrigato]

and fwiw - very hot. not worth 4 grand.

[Pro Libertate]

My seconds will call on Damon's seconds (weapons shall be tainters set on wither), but, to be fair, we stole the idea from The Today Show.

Here's the Urkobold posting from yesterday on the same topic.

[Menstrual Retardation]

"and fwiw - very hot. not worth 4 grand."

I respectfully disagree.

[T]

Fuck. I was hoping he would retire disgracefully from public life, but he's already started trying to rehabilitate himself. Give him 5 years and he'll be back in office somewhere. I can only hope his demise is spectacularly disgraceful, painful, and soon.

[JLM]

Naga Sadow | April 7, 2009, 12:11pm | #

"I'd hit it. Just sayin'."

The Gremlin or the Hooker?

[Pro Libertate]

Nah, he'll never be back in politics. However, he may get a talk show or maybe a reality show.

I love the Spitz--he's a limitless source of comedy gold.

[Episiarch]

If Spitzer tries to run for office again any opponent will beat him like a rented mule with reminders of Miss Dupree. I don't think there's anything to worry about.

[Pro Libertate]

But he's a fucking steamroller, man!

[R C Dean]

Fuck. I was hoping he would retire disgracefully from public life, but he's already started trying to rehabilitate himself. Give him 5 years and he'll be back in office somewhere.

Yup.

If Spitzer tries to run for office again any opponent will beat him like a rented mule with reminders of Miss Dupree.

The public has a short memory. Give him 5 years, a good publicist, more puff interviews like the one he just gave, and a weak opponent, and he's in.

[Pro Libertate]

R C Dean,

Not necessarily. See, I intend to wait until he tries to make his comeback, then I'm going to arrange to have the unnamed gremlins confront him again.

[SugarFree]

I expected Spitzer to give that big shit-eating grin of his and claim that if he'd been left alone with his bridge-and-tunnel skanks he could have kept the financial crisis at bay.

[domoarrigato]

Menstrual Retardation | April 7, 2009, 12:44pm | #

"and fwiw - very hot. not worth 4 grand."

I respectfully disagree.

4 grand will get you a lot of blow and models in my town.

[Pro Libertate]

Spitzer/Dupr? 2012: The Fucking Steamroller to Your Heart ticket.

[JB]

If this cocksucker had a shred of honor, he would kill himself. Instead he is one of the world's biggest hypocrites.

I will never do a day in jail for any crime I commit until this fuckbag is locked up. If Spitzer don't do time, I don't do time. Any judge, juror, DA has a problem with that, they will be dealt with.

[Taktix?]

Not necessarily. See, I intend to wait until he tries to make his comeback, then I'm going to arrange to have the unnamed gremlins confront him again.

FTW!

[Naga Sadow]

JLM,

Must I choose?

[domoarrigato]

Must I choose?

No, but she charges double for kink.

[Jeff P]

That female gremlin always reminded me of LaToya Jackson...

[Menstrual Retardation]

"4 grand will get you a lot of blow and models in my town."

So what town is that? Any good hotels?
(begins packing suitcase)

[Naga Sadow]

Domo,

HA! For you bro. Swear to god man, she gave the money back and thanked me! 😉

[Spoonman]

Railing hookers is the best thing Spitzer did in public office.

[That Female Gremlin]

"That female gremlin always reminded me of LaToya Jackson..."

Fuck you, bitch.

[domoarrigato]

So what town is that? Any good hotels?
(begins packing suitcase)

NYC, kids, but the hotel will break the bank - the models, not so much if you are decent looking and can dress the part. come to think of it, maybe this was Eliots problem...

[SugarFree]

I'm happy to be over-ruled by superior geek knowledge, but I thought all the gremlins were male. That means the "female" gremlin is a tranny.

[domoarrigato]

she gave the money back and thanked me!

One of the many advantages of being a sith lord, no doubt.

[domoarrigato]

That means the "female" gremlin is a tranny.

Which affects Naga's enjoyment not one whit.

[SugarFree]

domo,

He is a fan of teh fake boobs. Once you start dealing with a chassis that had a lot of after-market work done, who the fucking knows what you are getting?

[Menstrual Retardation]

"NYC, kids, but the hotel will break the bank - the models, not so much"

I'll stay at the The Hilton Millenium, I can save a little by only eating at Mamoun's.

[domoarrigato]

Once you start dealing with a chassis that had a lot of after-market work done, who the fucking knows what you are getting?

Speaking of which, I am considering a class action suit against the wonderbra company for conspiracy to defraud.

[R C Dean]

Railing hookers is the best thing Spitzer did in public office.

I just can't keep up with the slang these days? Railroading? Nailing? Some kind of kinky thing involving toy trains? A little help here?

[High Every Body]

A little help here?

Pretty sure it is not group action. Might need to help yourself on this one.

[domoarrigato]

Railroading is what he did to Grasso. Railing; Ms. Dupre.

[Orange Line Special]

Meanwhile, from the Actually Important department, here's why anyone should be sharply criticial of Eliot Spitzer. Needless to say, Reason would support such a scheme despite the fact that none of them would vote L.

[domoarrigato]

Needless to say, Reason would support such a scheme despite the fact that none of them would vote L.

could that be because they aren't partisan hacks, and actually believe in their principles?

[Xeones]

Shut the fuck up, LoneWacko.

[Spoonman]

I just can't keep up with the slang these days? Railroading? Nailing? Some kind of kinky thing involving toy trains? A little help here?

Insert penis into vagina; do what comes naturally.

[Pro Libertate]

How does "steamrolling" not become slang after L'Affaire Spitzer?

[the innominate one]

shut the fuck up, lonewackoff

[libertarianjim]

"Otto, there's a Gremlin on the side of the bus!"

[Medic]

"as if he were battling the furious furballs from the '80s horror flick.- Umm that would be Critters 1,2 or 3

How am I supposed to take anyone seriously if they can't even get their source material correct!

geezzz people.
A quick Google search could have helped him out.

[Ed]

Um I know that spitzer is no libertarian, but doesn't he get at least a TEENY WEENY bit of credit for being the ONLY whistleblower on wall street??? Surely some of those prosecutions had merit.

[domoarrigato]

but doesn't he get at least a TEENY WEENY bit of credit for being the ONLY whistleblower on wall street??? Surely some of those prosecutions had merit.

He might, if he had actually prosecuted them. Instead he abused his public office, tried the cases in the media, and settled out of court for big fines. In other words, legal blackmail. If he had a real case, and not simply salacious headline grabing material, the public good would have been better served by actually fulfilling the role of his office.

[Pro Libertate]

He also knowingly acted in areas completely preempted by federal law, just to make a big media splash. The guy was and is totally reprehensible.