Africa

It is a truth universally acknowledged…

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Lede of the week:

Maasai warrior Lempuris Lalasho went to Kenya's tourist haven Mombasa to find a white woman to marry, but he ended up working as a hairdresser, a profession that is taboo in his culture.

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  1. Lempuris Lalasho, don’t feel bad. Samarai warriors were some bad mofos and they did fuckin’ flower arranging.

    The truth that this exemplifies is that primitive cultures are inevitably drastically altered by contact with an industrial society.

  2. Maasai warrior Lempuris Lalasho went to Kenya’s tourist haven Mombasa to find a white woman to marry

    Must…resist…Blazing Saddles…reference…

  3. Finally! A hard-hitting piece on Obama’s parents.

  4. Speaking of Africans taking strange trips, I would encourage everyone to read “An African in Greenland”. It is the true story about a guy in West Africa who leaves his tribe and becomes the first black man to live in Greenland. No kidding. It has pictures of this tall, thin, emaculate looking dark skinned black man, mushing with dogs and hanging out on the glaciers. It is the most bizare travel book ever written and a great story about a truely remarkable person.

  5. “emaculate”? That musta hurt!

  6. John,

    Please pardon my sensitivity, but “[immaculate] looking dark skinned black man” sounds an awful lot like “articulate black man”. Take that for what you will.

  7. “Please pardon my sensitivity, but “[immaculate] looking dark skinned black man” sounds an awful lot like “articulate black man”. Take that for what you will.”

    Oh get out of here. Are black people supposed to be ugly? I don’t get it. I think most people would consider West Africans quite striking looking. It is an amazing book about an amazing guy. A dark skinned West African running around Greenland is just as out of the ordinary as some six foot blond sweed running around the central african jungles in full tribal geer would be. Would it be racist to call that guy immaculate?

  8. So is the artilce compaining that mixed race marriages and male hair dressers result from global warming? Hey, environments change, and young adults change to fit into the new environments. I think this story is a great example of people’s resilience when faced with new situations.

  9. Wait’ll these guys find out what being a male hairdresser implies in the West.

  10. “as some six foot blond sweed running”

    As non blond (damn!) I resent that. Most of us are actually dirty blondes. And the women are not called Inga usually btw. Sterotyping hurts us all!

  11. Not okay!

  12. Yeah, but did he have to get a lisence from the government to braid hair? Now who lives in a backward country?

  13. Wait’ll these guys find out what being a male hairdresser implies in the West.

    Homophobe! My aunt married a male hairdresser and he…was gay. Good haircuts, though!

  14. SugarFree,

    At least I’m not the only one who conducts mini anthropological studies in Craigslist when I’m bored.

    The whole race/attraction thing is tricky. While I personally appreciate all sexy, well-dressed men, most people I know have a definite preference. And, as the article shows, there’s a myriad of specific preferences; it’s not like everyone’s looking for a white girl, etc. That makes it tough to draw a straight line to racism, I think.

    What creeps me out a little more is when people have a specific “no-fly list.” I was chilling on the beach this summer with a friend-of-a-friend, and out of boredom I was looking for hot men for her. I saw a guy with a great body, trendy clothes, and cute friends and pointed him out to her. Her response? “Oh, I should have told you. I don’t like black men.” WTF?

  15. For many:

    Fowl of like plumage congregate therein.

    Preference for someone in your same general gene pool has a biological basis, that doesn’t make it racist.

    I, for one, am glad to see more and more people cross party lines. I think it will ultimately make humans more interesting.

    As J. Bullworth said, “everybody keep fuckin’ everybody else till we all look the same”.

  16. out of boredom I was looking for hot men for her

    Mm’kay. Lies are bad, mm’kay?

  17. Hey, the Spartans did their hair before battle, and it’s not like they were into little boys.

    Oh, wait…

  18. Lies are bad, mm’kay?

    It was an act of charity/recreational scoping. I have good taste & *ahem* don’t really need charity myself, so it was the least I could do.

    Never again, though. Too scared of outing more weird racial ticks.

  19. It was an act of charity/recreational scoping

    I completely understand. I do the same thing myself. Purely for charity.

    Too scared of outing more weird racial ticks.

    Why? It’s what’s interesting.

  20. (A)ttractive is (A)ttractive. Who cares what color people are? I’d discriminate on pitch of voice or lack of sense of humor, but never rule out an entire group of people.

    Now, having a type is a little bit different. Having had a crippling red-head problem in my youth, I’ll never deny that. I still feel the tug; I just squash it. (Imprinting is a helluva drug.)

  21. I do the same thing myself. Purely for charity.

    I thought men were lacking this generous gene. Somehow I think fighting over who gives a fake eulogy is more likely.

    Why? It’s what’s interesting.

    It’s all in the name of research until someone cops to a gay zombie fantasy.

  22. It’s all in the name of research until someone cops to a gay zombie fantasy.

    Making offhand remarks about NutraSweet isn’t very nice, Dagny. Besides, he’s a furry.

  23. (A)ttractive is (A)ttractive.

    So that’s what Aristotle/Rand were going on about.

    Red-heads are dangerous, SF. All the crazy Irish stereotypes are true, if my sister is any indication.

  24. I thought men were lacking this generous gene.

    No, we have it, but it’s usually self-interest. Being a guy who is getting laid around another guy who isn’t getting laid is extremely annoying. It’s all they talk about. Getting your friends laid is more for your sanity than charity. (This doesn’t apply to all men not getting laid, just a rule of thumb. But you have to watch out for the guys who aren’t complaining as well. “No, I don’t want to go on a camping trip ‘just the two of us.'”)

    Interesting, two guys together who both aren’t getting laid usually aren’t as annoying to each other. They just sort of bring it up occasionally with dispassion. “Man, I wish I had a girlfriend.”

  25. All the crazy Irish stereotypes are true, if my sister is any indication.

    My father almost named me Patrick. Combined with my hyper-Irish last name I would have sounded like someone who was born drunk with a potato in each hand. Only good think my mother ever did for me was stopping him.

    It was all imprinting. The first girl I ever swapped body fluids with was a spit-fire curly red-head who cussed like a sailor. First came to my attention when she punched a guy in the eye when he slapped her ass during lunch. Summer camp love affair. Extremely intense. She stole my Swatch. Ruined me for years.

  26. Being a guy who is getting laid around another guy who isn’t getting laid is extremely annoying.

    I get it! They’re like the fat friend! The Fat Friend is pretty much the only one in your circle who can’t find a man, and she is extremely annoying as well. There is no cure for the FF.

  27. There is no cure for the FF.

    Russian labor camps just melt away the pounds.

  28. All the crazy Irish stereotypes are true, if my sister is any indication.

    But not you?

    First came to my attention when she punched a guy in the eye when he slapped her ass during lunch

    Be honest, the ass-slapper was you, right?

    There is no cure for the FF

    Fat friends also tend to operate as full-bore cockblockers. Very annoying.

  29. Combined with my hyper-Irish last name I would have sounded like someone who was born drunk with a potato in each hand.

    I escaped the hyper-Irish last name via my dad’s boring English one, and the red-hair by a fluke of genetics.

    That cute little summer camp girl probably grew up to be the hard-drinking, scrappy, bracingly sarcastic woman my sister is today.

  30. Be honest, the ass-slapper was you, right?

    No, no. Never much went in for the harassment of women thing. I always got them with my quick wit and dazzling beard.

  31. That cute little summer camp girl probably grew up to be the hard-drinking, scrappy, bracingly sarcastic woman my sister is today.

    Did she go to YMCA Youth Leadership camp in South Carolina in 1985? I want my damn Swatch back.

  32. But not you?

    Well, I can drink most people under the table with very few ill-effects, but ended up a blonde with a pretty mellow temper, so go figure.

    Fat friends also tend to operate as full-bore cockblockers. Very annoying.

    True. This is because they think if no one is having sex, they will all be available for endless chick flicks and chatter. Unfortunately, someone always feels sorry enough for them to invite them along.

  33. Mmmm, redheads. I lost the big V to a drunken flaming redhead named Meghan. Life is beautiful sometimes.

    *sigh*

  34. Did she go to YMCA Youth Leadership camp in South Carolina in 1985? I want my damn Swatch back.

    Nope. But I’m sure she has someone’s Swatch.

  35. Well, I can drink most people under the table with very few ill-effects

    A valuable skill. Planning on opening a bar in Nepal, Miss Ravenwood?

    No, no. Never much went in for the harassment of women thing. I always got them with my quick wit and dazzling beard

    With your wit, wouldn’t that count as harassment?

    Unfortunately, someone always feels sorry enough for them to invite them along

    If you non-fatties would just develop hearts of stone lots more hooking up could commence.

  36. If you non-fatties would just develop hearts of stone lots more hooking up could commence.

    I’ll do my best to spread the word. God knows inviting the FF to the gym never works.

  37. If you non-fatties would just develop hearts of stone lots more hooking up could commence.

    It’s a symbiotic relationship. Thin girls give fat girls something resembling a normal social life and fat girls give thin girls someone to look much better than. Fat girls also act as an object lesson to the thin girls she is with, while functioning as a sexual gate-keeper. They are around precisely to keep thin girls from sleeping with men they will regret. (aka Epi.)

    The male equivilent is the loud douchebag. We keep him around because he makes us that much more attractive to the ladies. Did you think it was a coincidence that there almost always at least one?

  38. The male equivilent is the loud douchebag. We keep him around because he makes us that much more attractive to the ladies. Did you think it was a coincidence that there almost always at least one?

    I always figured he must, like, know a lot about sports or something. The Loud Douchebag does tend to say something offensive, providing you a perfect opportunity to appear sensitive, apologize for the boor, and offer to purchase a drink.

    It’s really a much better plan than our version, wherein the FF usually ends up drunk and crying.

  39. wherein the FF usually ends up drunk and crying

    The LD has a distressing tendency to not make it to the toilet before vomiting.

    Too bad the FF and the LD are such natural enemies. They would be dysfunctionally perfect for each other.

  40. Heh, the google ads for this page:

    Mombasa Lodging
    Mombasa Lodging Deals Book w/ ORBITZ Low Price Guarantee
    http://www.ORBITZ.com

    Cheap Mombasa Flights
    Free Email Quotes from US agents specialized in Mombasa, Kenya
    http://www.DiscountAirfares.com

    Maybe the FFs would enjoy some Masai lovin’ at bargain rates? We could take up a collection or something.

  41. providing you a perfect opportunity to appear sensitive, apologize for the boor, and offer to purchase a drink

    Such machinations. Isn’t it better to forgo the Loud Douchebag instead of such plans within plans?

  42. Warty,

    The common complaint of the the fatosphere / fat is a feminist issue types is that in some areas of Africa, over-weight woman are considered attractive. I’ve been suggesting your solution for years.

  43. Too bad the FF and the LD are such natural enemies. They would be dysfunctionally perfect for each other.

    You know the grubby, obnoxious kid running around the restaurant breaking things? I think that is the product of such a hookup. Clearly something Nature never intended.

  44. The Loud Douchebag does tend to say something offensive, providing you a perfect opportunity to appear sensitive, apologize for the boor, and offer to purchase a drink.

    Fuck that…if you’re out with LDs, do as the LDs do. Being an obnoxious asshole is a fucking blast.

  45. Isn’t it better to forgo the Loud Douchebag instead of such plans within plans?

    Absolutely. We could all use a lot less Dane Cook in our lives.

    Like I said, I’ll work on my demographic, you work on yours.

  46. The common complaint of the the fatosphere / fat is a feminist issue types

    In the few Feministing threads I’ve read, fat has definitely been an issue. They are either fat themselves, or fat-enablers.

  47. We could all use a lot less Dane Cook in our lives.

    Finally someone who agrees with me that Dane Cook is annoying, overrated, and a loud douchebag. My cousins love him. I don’t get it.

    Like I said, I’ll work on my demographic, you work on yours

    Look, I can’t do anything about NutraSweet over the internet. Sorry.

  48. Dane Cook is the raison d’etre for the term ‘douchebag.’

    And SF ain’t so bad! Don’t forget he provides the amusing/horrifying Feministing links.

  49. You get the idea from the Feministing and Jezebel communities that most of them are quite over-weight. I know I did it to myself, but I could have lived my whole life happily not knowing such as thing as a 38KKK bra exists. Also, the extended Lane Bryant rants are hilarious.

    (Disclaimer: Not all feminists are fat, or hairy, or secretly lesbians. Not all of them actively hate straight male sexuality either. But you destroy stereotypes by not conforming so closely too them, a task much of the feminist blogosphere fails at utterly.)

  50. Finally someone who agrees with me that Dane Cook is annoying, overrated, and a loud douchebag.

    You won’t get any argument from me.

  51. Dr Cox is in agreement, too!

    Episiarch | September 9, 2008, 11:56am | #
    Maasai warrior Lempuris Lalasho went to Kenya’s tourist haven Mombasa to find a white woman to marry

    Must…resist…Blazing Saddles…reference…

    ZOHAN!!!!

  52. I saw a guy with a great body, trendy clothes, and cute friends and pointed him out to her. Her response? “Oh, I should have told you. I don’t like black men.” WTF?

    Why should people be obligated to date outside their races?

    We’re not all equal, biologically or genetically or otherwise, and many of us want to stay as what we are — a product of ancestors who didn’t join the rest.

    My god, you’re the biggest internet bigot and racist I’ve met today. A bigot for the mixed-race race.

  53. i need 2 find out about what the name is

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