The Aussie "Fat Bomb"

American obesity rates have leveled off, but it appears we conducted a thick-fingered pass of the fat torch to Australia:

[C]ardiology professor Simon Stewart said the results meant Australia probably had the highest rate of obesity in the world, outweighing even the United States.

"As we send our athletes off to the Olympics let's reflect on the fact that we would win the gold medal problem now in the world fat Olympics if there was such a thing," he said.

Seems like proponents of regulation are taking their cues from the New York City Health Department:

The report calls for a national weightloss strategy on the scale of smoking and skin cancer campaigns, including subsidising gym memberships and personal training sessions.

Next up for trimming the national waistline: sin taxes on recliners, central air conditioning units, and Netflix.

Senior Editor Jacob Sullum wrote about his own Body Mass Index here.

Comments

[MP]

They should send everyone a voucher for Wii Fit.

[sage]

Hmm, I see the connection with the picture of the crescent roll dough being measured.

[Episiarch]

I will have to go to the beach in Australia and personally examine the chicks there to determine whether this is correct or not.

[J sub D]

Second place is for losers. Everybody, get your reduced asses to McDonald’s or Ben & Jerry’s. NOW!

[Steve]

This chubby chaser is now planning a trip to Australia!

[SugarFree]

Best Wii Fit ad ever…

Marginally SFW

[Jake Boone]

Next up for trimming the national waistline: sin taxes on recliners, central air conditioning units, and Netflix.

No need to tax Netflix; I think they may have just cut their own throats. From an email they sent me last night:

Dear Jacob,

We wanted to let you know we will be eliminating Profiles, the feature that allowed you to set up separate DVD Queues under one account, effective September 1, 2008.

Each additional Profile Queue will be unavailable after September 1, 2008. Before then, we recommend you consolidate any of your Profile Queues to your main account Queue or print them out.

While it may be disappointing to see Profiles go away, this change will help us continue to improve the Netflix website for all our customers.

If you have any questions, please go to http://www.netflix.com/Help?p_faqid=3962 or call us anytime at 1 [phone]. We apologize for any inconvenience.

– The Netflix Team

(I know, it’s pretty threadjacky, but damn.)

[Kwix]

I am very disappointed in you all. It has been almost 20 minutes since this was posted and not one Zero Wing reference.

[dan k]

For example, according to the World Health Organization, average life expectancy in Japan is 83 years; AUSTRALIA, 82; Switzerland, 82; Canada, 81; Sweden, 81; Spain, 81; Italy, 81; France, 81; Germany, 80; and the United Kingdom, 79. (taken from REASON article)
You can have my deep fried chocolate fudge sundae when you pry if from my old, greasy, cold, dead fingers

[Mister DNA]

This chubby chaser is now planning a trip to Australia!

So that you don’t get lost, ask every female you see for a Map of Tassie.

[Mister DNA]

I am very disappointed in you all. It has been almost 20 minutes since this was posted and not one Zero Wing reference.

Okay, I’ll bite. ALL YOUR OBESE ARE BELONG TO US!

[Bingo]

we would win the gold medal problem now in the world fat Olympics if there was such a thing,” he said.

Oh really? Let’s start the Fat Olympics so we can really find out who the true gold medal winner is. I refuse to stand by while speculation and statistics become the final arbiters of fatness. We need series of competitive events to find out who the true champions are!

[SugarFree]

We need series of competitive events

You know NOTHING OF FATNESS! If we we’re competitive, we won’t be in this position! Fatophobe!

[liberty mike]

I guess a would be Aussie lady of the evening would be well advised to be fit like Magaret Smith was-the would be ho would make a racket.

[liberty mike]

If they don’t look like the girl in Grease, I don’t want to get physical.

[MattXIV]

As we send our athletes off to the Olympics let’s reflect on the fact that we would win the gold medal problem now in the world fat Olympics if there was such a thing.

And there should be such a thing. It’d be much more fun to watch than the normal Olympics.

[Old Bull Lee]

Since it’s been 20 minutes since Mister DNA’s post:

You have no chance to lose weight make your time.

[economist]

You know, if Australians didn’t practice gun control and have National Health Care, the country would be okay. Of course, the same goes for Canada (+ don’t have such a fit if a guy offends muslims). If Canadians take my advice, I might consider moving there someday.

[SugarFree]

Torrid

Sadly, they don’t seem to have an Australian store yet.

[SugarFree]

Jamie Lynn Spears had a baby girl.

That sound you hear is 2-liters of Mountain Dew being cracked open all over the South.

[joe]

Central AC makes you fat?

I guess lifting the damn things in and out the windows every year burns some serious calories.

[Episiarch]

You know way too much about fat chicks, NutraSweet. WAAAAY too much.

[joe]

And, as always:

Ain’t nothing wrong with the big beautiful girls.

Nothing at all.

[Chris Porter]

Maybe the government should subsidize cigarettes for overweight people? There seems to be at least a correlation between weight loss and smoking after all.

[Nigel Watt]

Ain’t nothing wrong with the big beautiful girls.

Were that not an oxymoron I would be able to agree or disagree.

[SugarFree]

You know way too much about fat chicks

I LEARNED IT FROM WATCHING YOU, DAD!

[Episiarch]

Ain’t nothing wrong with the big beautiful girls.

Just because your mom is fat doesn’t mean you have lionize fat chicks, joe.

I LEARNED IT FROM WATCHING YOU, DAD!

Or you’re actually a fat chick.

(rubs chins suspiciously)

[SugarFree]

Or you’re actually a fat chick.

Nah… no mullet and no Subaru Outback.

[mike]

Anybody else get the “BBW Romance” banner at the top? Awesome.

[joe]

Da bigga da bigga da butt
Da bigga da bigga da nutt.
Da bigga da bigga da butt
Da bigga da bigga da nutt.

– Ice-T

[Reinmoose]

Have you ever heard of “more cushion for the pushin?” Cause YOU got it, baby!

[Episiarch]

The bigger the cushion, the sweeter the pushin’
That’s what I said
The looser the waistband, the deeper the quicksand
Or so I have read

My baby fits me like a flesh tuxedo
I’d like to sink her with my pink torpedo

Big bottom, big bottom
Talk about bum cakes, my girl’s got ’em
Big bottom drive me out of my mind
How could I leave this behind?

I met her on Monday, ’twas my lucky bun day
You know what I mean
I love her each weekday, each velvety cheek day
You know what I mean

My love gun’s loaded and she’s in my sights
Big game is waiting there inside her tights, yeah

Big bottom, big bottom
Talk about mud flaps, my girl’s got ’em
Big bottom drive me out of my mind
How could I leave this behind?

My baby fits me like a flesh tuxedo
I’d like to sink her with my pink torpedo

Big bottom, big bottom
Talk about bum cakes, my girl’s got ’em
Big bottom drive me out of my mind
How could I leave this behind?

[TallDave]

In your face Milwaukee!

As we send our athletes off to the Olympics let’s reflect on the fact that we would win the gold medal problem now in the world fat Olympics if there was such a thing.

I don’t know, those nations of skinny people like India and Zimbabwe don’t seem to win very many Olympic events per capita.

[TallDave]

I will have to go to the beach in Australia and personally examine the chicks there to determine whether this is correct or not.

As with the marijuana potency allegations, this is an issue crying out for more research.

[Isaac Bartram]

So that you don’t get lost, ask every female you see for a Map of Tassie.

You never know, you just might get to explore the South Cape.

[ed]

Jamie Lynn Spears had a baby girl

And the father is (wait for it) a pipe layer!

[TallDave]

Wait, does this mean that starving Third Worlders no longer dream of becoming fat, lazy Americans but now instead dream of becoming fatter, lazier Australians?

Hang your heads, people. We have lost our national prestige.

[swillfredo pareto]

Central AC makes you fat?

I guess lifting the damn things in and out the windows every year burns some serious calories.

I believe those would be window units. If you are moving your central air unit every year you’re not doing it right. And since when do people in the Northeast need a/c? Must be that global warming thing I am hearing rumblings about.

[R C Dean]

Central AC makes you fat?

I think being fat makes you want A/C.

[joe]

Yes, swillfredo. That’s why having central AC would mean you don’t have to life your ACs into and out the windows every year.

And it hits 90 about 1/2 the days in July and August where I live.

[Mr anonymous]

Since smoking increases metabolism and decreases appetite, and since planning to spending a lot of any given summer sunning one’s self on the beach is (at least somewhat) likely to make someone increase his or her winter/spring exercise, wouldn’t it be easier for Australia to just give up on their anti-smoking and anti-tanning campaigns?