Strawberry Shortcake: Prostitot?

Various people are deeply upset by the femmed up new version of Strawberry Shortcake. She appears to have lost the paunch, slapped on some fake eyelashes, and dropped the whole Raggedy Ann look:

                             

I leave it to you to decide whether neo-Shortcake is a tool of the patriarchy. And lest you lose your faith in capitalism, please consider that someone is being paid to write and report stories like: "The Shocking Cost: If Strawberry's Shortcake's Makeover was real."

Her makeover goes beyond the work of a stylist, hair iron and tinted contacts, says Scott W. Mosser, MD, a board-certified plastic surgeon in San Francisco, Calif. In fact, Mosser says, Shortcake looks to have had a complete facial reconstruction.

"This is not a rejuvenation. The nose is completely different, her eyes are different shapes," he says of the old and new dolls. "Most people want a subtle update, not a fundamental change to what they look like."

Given the eyelid lift, nose job, lip plumping, freckle removal, and various other procedures, Mainstreet.com puts the price at a very reasonable $23,675.19.