Thai Government: Call Your Kid Fat, Please

The Thai government will publish a handbook of nicknames, reports The New York Times, to combat a rising wave of decidedly non-Thai monikers:

To the consternation of some nickname purists, children are being given such offbeat English-language nicknames as Mafia or Seven — as in 7-Eleven, the convenience store.

With help from language experts at the Royal Institute, the official arbiter of the Thai language, Mr. Vira plans to produce by the end of the year a collection of thousands of old-fashioned nicknames, listed by such wholesome categories as colors, animals and fruit and including simple favorites like Yaay (big), Ouan (fat) and Dam (black).

Korakoad Wongsinchai, an English teacher at a private primary school in Bangkok, is also not sure whether the Culture Ministry's campaign will stem the tide of English names…More than half of her students have English names, she said, offering this sampling: Tomcruise, Elizabeth, Army, Kiwi, Charlie and God.

Also in use among less-than-subtle Thai parents: Money, Bonus, and Bank.