Journalist Has Her Sixth Sense Removed

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No, not her ability to see the dead. Last year, reporter Quinn Norton had a magnet installed in the tip of one of her fingers. This allowed her to sense magnetic fields in appliances, computers, store security systems and the like. Norton writes :

I miss my magnet, but I knew it wasn't well understood when I started. I'm glad I know what a spinning drive and a ringing telephone wire feel like. I'm sad I can't feel them anymore.

This experiment is just the beginning of research to see far can the human body be modified to include and understand new sorts of sensory inputs. By the way, if I had to choose between being enhanced to see either ultraviolet or infrared, I'd pick infrared.

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  1. Ron,

    I think Superman would agree with you. His “X-ray vision,” as described in the comics, was really a souped-up version of infrared, since in order to use the former, Superman would have to see behind the object he was bombarding with X-rays, which would obviously defeat the purpose.

  2. I’m hoping for augments to give me the Scott Baio powers from Zapped.

  3. Fluffy – as long as you don’t make those strange “o face” types of expressions when exercising said power.

    (on a side note – imagine handcuffing Tabatha so she couldn’t do her nose trick – “who’s magical now? WHO’S MAGICAL NOW!!!!!!”)

    How about frequency adjustable vision, like the Predator?

  4. VM,

    The cloaking technology would be cool, too. Especially if I happened to be one ugly motherfucker.

  5. I want missile launching fingertips.

  6. Somewhere, while reading these comments, Mr. Bailey weeps.

  7. Yes, cloaking would be awesome. But only if nobody had it except me.

    Eyes in the back of my head would be nice.

    Also, being able to comfortably read a book that is lying open on a table two feet away.

  8. Are omniscience and omnipotence still available? If so, I would like those powers.

  9. Pro lib,

    I’ll pass on the omniscience, just because I think I’d go overboard with the omnipotence once I found out who actually pulling the strings around here.

    Plus, I want Iceman’s ice-skating-hovering thing…

  10. Cloaking. Eyes back of head.

    Read books.

    All we need to add is a completely endogenous energy source, and we have the URKOBOLD!!!!

  11. Cloaking. Eyes back of head.

    Read books.

    All we need to add is a completely endogenous energy source, and we have the URKOBOLD!!!!

    I thought he was powered by the lamentations of the women?

  12. Are omniscience and omnipotence still available? If so, I would like those powers.

    I’d settle for just some additional potence.

  13. Lister: Any problems?
    Kryten: Well, just one or two. In fact I’ve compiled a little list if you’ll indulge me. Now then, uh, my optical system doesn’t appear to have a zoom function.
    Lister: No, human eyes don’t have a zoom.
    Kryten: Well then, how do you bring a small object into sharp focus?
    Lister: Well, you just move your head closer to the object.
    Kryten: I see. Move your head … closer, hmm, to the object. All right, okay. Well, what about other optical effects, like split screen, slow motion, Quantel(tm)?
    Lister: No. We don’t have them.
    Kryten: You don’t have them — just the zoom? Hmm. Well, no, that’s fine, that’s great, no, no, that’s really great, that’s great. Now then, my nipples don’t work.
    Lister: Er, in what way `don’t work’?
    Kryten: Well, uh, when I was a mechanoid, the right nipple-nut was used to, uh, regulate body temperature, while the left nipple-nut was used mainly to, uh, pick up shortwave radio transmissions. Now, what I’m saying is, no matter how hard I twiddle it, I can’t seem to pick up Jazz FM.
    Lister: Human nipples don’t do that, Kryte.
    Kryten: I see. Fine. Ah: recharging. Now, I presume that, uh, when a human wants to recharge they do it much the same way mechanoids do. Indeed, I have located what I presume to be the recharging socket, but for some strange reason it doesn’t appear to have the standard three-pin adaption. Now, do I have to use some kind of special adaptor? because, no matter what do, the lead just keeps falling out.

  14. See, everybody wants thermal IR, but I kinda want near-IR, like the stuff that makes all those old Landsat images look red? And maybe mid-IR, and a UV band. Screw tetrachromat. I want to be a septachromat.

    Oh, and the power to decide who lives and who dies.

  15. Lunch – DO NOT TRY TO TAKE THE TERRITORY OF THE URKOBOLD!!!

    This is a formal warning.

    To demonstrate:
    *kicks passer by in taint.

  16. How about we leave out the “x” and go for a sith sense?

    I could enjoy that!

  17. If infrared doesn’t pass through glass, what are infrared camera lenses made of? And how does heat energy (infrared) get through windows to create the greenhouse effect?

  18. “Are omniscience and omnipotence still available? If so, I would like those powers.”

    Too late, sucker.

  19. If infrared doesn’t pass through glass, what are infrared camera lenses made of?

    If tinwhistles are made of tin, what do they make foghorns out of?

  20. SeeingI

    Infrared is a fairly broad spectrum, so some infrared is blocked by some kinds of glass, but no forms of glass block it out completely. Greenhouses work by allowing most of the sun’s energy, which is concentrated in the near-IR and visual spectra. This energy is absorbed by the plants, soil, and other objects in the greenhouse, and then re-radiated at much lower wavelengths, typically in the thermal IR band. So you don’t have to have a ‘one way gate’ because you’ve got a spectral shift. You let in the high-energy light from the sun, and then block the escape of low-energy radiation from the objects in the greenhouse. That way you get a net energy input.

  21. Bill Gates,

    I’ve seen your products and have read your books. You’re not omniscient.

  22. Anyone know where I can get one of those Japanese cameras that accidentally saw through people’s clothing? I need one for…for research purposes. Yeah, that’s it.

  23. I’d like an enhanced metabolism and immune system so I can continue enjoying my sedentary lifestyle for another century.

    And a poisonous taint spike for when VM is in one of his moods.

  24. When asked what superpower(s) you would want, always, always go with invulnerability. It is the foundation necessary in order to wield all other powers.

  25. If tinwhistles are made of tin, what do they make foghorns out of?

    Why, the souls of aborted fetuses, of course…

  26. I’d settle for the power to foresee what line at the supermarket will get me checked out the fastest.

    Look! It’s MarketMan and his sidekick BaggerBoy.

  27. The lenses on infrared cameras are made of some kind of metal. At least the two that I’ve had a chance to look at appeared to be made out of some kind of metal.

    Also, you can’t see printed materials. I had an opportunity to play with an infrared optical device at a convention, and it was kind of jarring to hold the thing up, look around the convention hall, and see nothing on all the giant banners, posters, and placards adorning every open space in the hall.

    In retrospect, it was kind of obvious.

  28. Oh how I wish I could taste. I would give up my other 17 senses. Including smision.

  29. Realisticly, the only super power that I’d find much use out of is transportation. I’d use it to save money on airfare, popping into france at a moment’s notice. Stuff like invularbility would most likely be the best super power when it comes to saving lives and fighting crime, but who the hell wants to spend all of their time fighting crime? With transportation (in addition to the ability to control women’s libidos) you’d at least lead the most intresting type of life. Plus, money making to pay for all the trips would be easy; just sneak into some terrorist’s palace, steal a tv and transport yourself to the nearest pawn shop.

    As a kid I thought up a super hero who’s ability was to always get exactly two asprin out of a can of asprin. I would make up all of these contrived situations in which he would be able to use his powers. (ie a villian would kidnap him, but Asprin guy would make a bet that he couldn’t get exactly two asprin out of a bottle.)
    His adventures ran for 500 issues.

    Oh, and the power to decide who lives and who die
    MST3k refrence. I caught it. You can’t run that past me.

  30. How about the power to move you…

  31. Taktix,

    Nice fuckin’ Tenacious D reference, my friend! I’m actually listening to “Beelzeboss” as I write this.

    [fanboy]
    I hope I’m not the only one here that’s hyper-geeked about tonight’s Heroes season finale.
    [/fanboy]

  32. If Scotty (or Spock) really knew anything they would know that Transparent Aluminum already exists. It’s called Sapphire.

  33. I’d like the super dooper power that make nubile women have sex with me – of course, that would take all the knowledge, matter, and energy in the universe…sigh.

  34. I would like the power to make any part of my body vibrate at various speeds, at will.

  35. I’d like the super dooper power that make nubile women have sex with me – of course, that would take all the knowledge, matter, and energy in the universe…sigh.

    That or simply getting up from your bar stool and saying hi….but that only works 1 out of ten times…perhaps you ment “all” nubile women.

  36. The powers to have…

    Invisibility, flight and teleportation.

  37. Plus, I want Iceman’s ice-skating-hovering thing…

    huh?

    Silver Surfer and its a Surf board….but screw that, be Galactus and make a whole army of those dudes to fly around and fuck shit up at your bidding.

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