Show Us Your Tits Union Card!

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Over at Campus Progress, Matthew Yglesias responds to Garance Franke-Ruta's no-tits-'til-21 proposal. It's good. But not as good as this comment by one Dan Kervick:

The problem with people like Joe Francis is that he is exploiting non-unionized, unprotected, poorly compensated, unlicensed (and often incapacitated) temp workers, and profiting handsomely from this exploitative labor market. Eligibility to work as a model for pornography, and legal hiring for pornography, should be contingent on the model's membership in a sex worker union, which would a variety of legal, health, pay scale and other occupational protections. If we moved to such a model, then we might have some hope of rationally addressing this issue within the context of existing social norms about the appropriate legal age limits for contracting one's labor. And no one would have the legal right to drive by a crowd and say "here's 100 bucks to pull up your shirt" to a bunch of young women lacking union cards.

I fully support making the commercial display of breasts contingent on compulsory union membership, or at least a reality television show based on this concept. Will disgruntled Girls Gone Wild go on strikes, making room for low-rent scabs? Will Mardi-Gras flashers demand a living wage, prompting college kids everywhere to go on sex-positive hunger strikes? Will women who post lewd pictures of themselves online be prosecuted for failure to join the sisterhood of porn? The possibilities are endless.

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  1. I fully support making the commercial display of breasts contingent on compulsory union membership, or at least a reality television show based on this concept.

    Ahem . . .

    I believe that it should be my decision and not that of some shop steward(ess) from a bad Lifetime women’s prison movie who decides if I am tipping $5.00 per dance (no ink) or $1.00 per dance (ink) at my favorite women’s interpretive dance theater. Besides, they are professionals and not laymen (unless you go to those clubs).

  2. Guy, I have a great idea: Once you’re in Baghdad, enjoying the Imperial Adventure, how about you flash your man-boobs in downtown Baghdad? Take a little walk on the wild side!

  3. $100 for a tittie flash? woo-hoo, i’m in!

  4. thoreau endorses unionization of strippers and porn chicks on a libertarian website. Whodathunkit?

    BTW, what the hell are you talking about Baghdad? Are you going there with the Jefferson Brigade manning one of Balko’s “tanks”?

  5. Actually, I’m not endorsing unions. I’m proposing that you give it away for free, Mr. Montag.

    Once your trip to Baghdad that you’ve been talking about gets approved.

  6. sisterhoodofporn.com appears to be available.

  7. As I noted yesterday there are sex worker unions already in existance.

  8. With the internet broadening the profit horizon for young girls with no inhibition, the very idea of unionizing strippers and porn players is absurd.

    …though it does give me an idea for a low-budget remake of Norma Rae.

  9. Ahh, the left…broadening freedom by reducing options since 1789.

    As usual, the problem of exploiting college girls can be solved by a extension of existing law–no getting them drunk before signing the model contract.

  10. Once your trip to Baghdad that you’ve been talking about gets approved.

    As usual, what are you talking about?

    Oh, I see. Okay, let me attempt to help.

    Firstly, there is no “capital” of “the Orient” and it certainly is not Baghdad. You see, there are many nations in Asia and only one of them has a capital called Baghdad. That country is Iraq.

    There are many peoples in the Orient too. All of them are not Iraqi, nor are all of them Muslim. Perhaps you should study this before you are manning a “tank” in Balko Company of the Jefferson Brigade when you liberate the oppressed peoples from the USA.

    More on those peoples and the Global War on Terror. You see, the entire war is not in Iraq. It is being waged in other nations too. There are other nations in the Orient, consult a map. Better use a new one as some have changed names recently.

    Anyway, even in Afghanistan, everybody there is not and was not allied with Usama Bin Laden. He is from Saudi Arabia and that is yet another country you should learn about. Everybody there was not allied with him either, to include almost every member of his own family. I suggest you study something besides F9/11.

    When you and your Jefferson Brigade fellows join your brothers from Iran to kick out the impearilist Americans, remember, they are not Arabs, they are Persians and usually speak Farsi. Yes, there is more than one language in the Orient. Make sure you tell them that you are an infidel. That is a powerful term for peace loving insurgents.

    I know, I am not bright enough to explain all of this to you, but I hope this is a good start. Let me know how things go on that M113 “tank” in Baghdad!

  11. Hell, isn’t that just enforcement of existing law? Deliberately impairing a person’s judgment before presenting them with an unbalanced business contract seems plenty fraudulent to me.

  12. As usual, the problem of exploiting college girls can be solved by a extension of existing law–no getting them drunk before signing the model contract.

    Signing a contract while drunk has invalidated the contract without any “extra” law for ages.

  13. Guy & thoreau,

    Do ya’ll really think we’re interested?

  14. Kerry –

    You’ll feel differently about this once you have kids!

  15. Kerry is clearly shilling for big boob.

  16. “making room for low-rent scabs”

    I didn’t realize that lower-rent scabs existed.

  17. LOL again at “exploiting” people who on balance will gain far more from their unearned relative attractiveness (even into old age) than they will lose. I’ll stand up for the ugly girls here, thank you very much.

  18. What are Dr T and Guy going on about?

    I think I have missed a couple of episodes of H&R drama.

  19. Look for the Union label (unfortunately, no musical notes – ascii only). I am hopeing for lots of clothes ripping catfights when the scabs arrive

  20. Did you ever hear the joke about the Union rep who visits a whorehouse in Nevada? He goes to the first whorehouse and asks “how are the girls compensated?” The madam says “the house takes 90%, the girl gets 10%.” The union rep says “No good. I’m going to a union whorehouse.” He finds one and asks the madam how the girls are compensated. “Because of the collective bargaining agreement, the girl gets 90% and the house gets 10%”

    “Great!” says the union rep. “I’ll take that blonde over there.”

    “Not so fast,” says the union rep, motioning for a gray haired old lady to come over, “Ethel has seniority.”

  21. Sorry, Guy, thought it was Iraq.

    Well, whatever place you go to, how about flashing and letting us know how it works?

  22. Kerry,
    You are such a tease. What’s is organized labor’s position on members refusing work? I’m sure if we passed the hat, we could meet union rates for a tit flash from you.

  23. Oh, just look for the union label!

    I’m looking. Still looking…

    Go ‘way. Batin’.

    (Tip o’ the hat to VM.)

  24. again I say where are the damm illustrations/video clips etc.

    WE DEMAND MEDIA NOW!!!

  25. Warren, shouldn’t you be out mutilating your genitals or something?

  26. I dreamed I saw Savannah last night,
    alive as you and me.
    Says I “But Savannah, you’re ten years dead”
    “I never died” said she,
    “I never died” said she.

  27. *raises coffee in appreciation to joe.

    And since we know that Guy might visit Norway on vacation (for skiing), that’s out.

    Fiji? that might be nice. Warm. Won’t get the “cold effect”.

    Hang out with AC Clarke on Sri Lanka?

    Golfing on Hilton Head?

    Where in the World is “What A” Guy Dienstag?

  28. Signing a contract while drunk has invalidated the contract without any “extra” law for ages.

    Not necessarily. It really helps to be involuntarily drunk (someone spiked your drink). Otherwise, you have to be so drunk you are incapacitated, which is a lot drunker than just being stupid drunk.

    Courts are generally not real receptive to someone trying to get out of a contract because they got themselves drunk first. Kind of like the guy who killed his parents and asked for mercy because he was an orphan.

  29. Timothy,
    No, I don’t go in for that sort of thing NTTAWWT. I’m just looking for inspiration to manipulate them.

  30. Somebody should tell Kerry that whatever CMS Reason uses for Hit & Run isn’t smart enough to drop strike-through text from elements that don’t include HTML. So the TITLE of this page is

    Reason Magazine – Hit & Run > Show Us Your Tits Union Card!

    I wonder how many members the Tits Union has…

  31. Jason,
    The problem must be on your end. The Strike-through shows up on my page just fine. Browser: Firefox
    Character encoding: Unicode (UTF-8)

  32. AH, The TITLE. As in up there on the TITLE bar. Yes I see it now. Most amusing. So uh, nevermind.

  33. Your Honor, the breathalyzer test is inadmissible because I didn’t consent to the test. Well, I did, but I was drunk at the time so my consent wasn’t valid.

  34. Try a hooker then, Warren. Of course, first you’d have to move out of your mother’s basement and stop spending your whole paycheck from the gas station on tentacle porn, but I think you have at least a 50/50 chance of doing all that.

  35. Seriously though, since the SCOTUS interprets the making of porn to be a right protected by the 1st, wouldn’t it be unconstitutional to require the use of union “talent”?

  36. Well, whatever place you go to, how about flashing and letting us know how it works?

    Wrong end of the camera. Somehow you got that part wrong too.

    However, if you get over there with Radley, Nick and David I will be sure to keep an eye on you.


  37. tentacle porn

    tentacle porn? dare i google?

  38. Probably not work safe, though.

  39. I wonder if, with respect to porn issues, there is a difference in opinion between attractive and unattractive women. Obviously those categories are too subjective for science.

  40. I think special characters don’t always work in the title. That, or Webmaster Mike is messing with Kerry’s mind.

  41. Lamar,
    What are you asking? Are you suggesting less attractive women find underpaid tit flashers more objectionable? Why? Because they resent good looking girls ability to inspire lust? Or maybe because acting slutty was a way of evening the playing field, and if the hot babes are doing it, it won’t work for them anymore.

  42. Warren: This issue is generally championed by women (i.e., Kerry Howley, Lewis and Marcotte at Alternet, etc.), and usually attractive women. I’m not sure if attractive women are more open to freedom of porn, or if attractive women are just more prevalent in the media. Your speculations are similar to my ponderings.

  43. This issue is generally championed by women

    Really? I’m not so sure. I think it may be that women are in a better position to make the argument because if a man does it he gets tarred as some sort of dirty low live (I’m looking at you Timothy).

  44. Warren: that’s why I said the issue is generally championed by women. They’re less open to the easy ad hominem.

  45. I’ve no need to explain my art to you, Warren.

    There also might be, I don’t know, a difference in kind between thinking women should do porn if they want and regularly making lewd comments about whichever attractive female you happen to run across on the internet. Say, staff writers for widely circulated periodicals. Periodicals that don’t feature tentacle porn, at that.

    Now, I realize you’re not used to that kind of thing, but I have faith that one day you’ll learn the difference. Reason: News/opinion magazine. Tentacles Weekly: What you’re hiding in the air duct lest your mom find it.

  46. What is this obsession you have with my mom and tentacle porn?

  47. Warren,

    Could be some confusion between your mom and VM’s, who is apparently Elisabeth Shue.

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