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At the New York Post, Nick Gillespie takes a long, hard look at the history of impotence.

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  1. This just proves that Nick Gillespie is a schill for big erection.

  2. Whenever Life gets you down
    Keeps you wearing a frown
    And the gravy train has left you behind

    When you’re all out of hope
    Down at the end of your rope
    and nobody’s there to throw you a line

    If you ever get so low that
    you don’t know which way to go
    come on and take a walk in my shoes

    Never worry ’bout a thing
    got the world on a string
    ’cause I’ve got the cure for all of my blues…

    I take a look at my enormous penis
    and the troubles start meltin’ away
    I take a look at my enormous penis,
    and the happy times are comin’ to stay…

  3. Don’t see how this story could have been published anywhere but The Post.

  4. Oi = Skinhead exclamation or skinhead variety of punk rock

    Oy = Shortened from “Oy vey,” Yiddish exclamation of dismay or exasperation

    You mean “Oy,” bubalah?

  5. The new normal defines real men as ready for action at all times, at all ages, effectively limiting the range of acceptable male identities….

    “Acceptable” to whom? How does the existence of Viagra limit my options as an American male in any tangible way?

  6. How does the existence of Viagra limit my options as an American male in any tangible way?

    By increasing competition?

  7. The new normal defines real men as ready for action at all times, at all ages, effectively limiting the range of acceptable male identities

    So before Viagra, “guy who can’t get it up” was considered an acceptable male identity?

    Huh.

  8. flaccid piece. just when i thought it was going somewhere, nothing.

    at least it wasn’t up this morning- nothing ruins breakfast around here faster than a discussion of bob dole’s withered penis.

  9. at least it wasn’t up this morning- nothing ruins breakfast around here faster than a discussion of bob dole’s withered penis.

    Except maybe a discussion of BD’s erect penis.

  10. Oi! Anal guy!

    “Oi” predates the skinhead movement by…I dunno how long — probably over a century. It’s Cockney, reflecting the working class roots of the Oi bands.

    From http://www.urbandictionary.com:

    1. oi

    Cockney slang for “hey”. Also a british style of music, named so after the band Cockney Rejects who first used it in their lyrics, although Sham 69 was the first Oi! band. (not correct without an exclamation mark!)

  11. “the Middle Ages (when Church officials would order suspect husbands to perform in front of clergy)”

    That just goes to show that the Catholic Church is a bunch of prudes.

    Impotence was (and is) grounds for annulment in the Church.

    And they’re trying to repress female sexuality. I mean, what if a woman wants to have a purely Platonic relationship with her impotent husband?

  12. Mad Max,

    Huh?

  13. HalfBrit,
    (Which half?)

    You are, of course, correct about the exclamation “oi.” I simplified it for the riff-raff.
    Sample (American) Oi! lyric:

    Walking down the street
    A couple of kids laughed at me
    Turned around and bopped ’em in the head
    Shoulda seen them faggots when they bled

    Never, never, never stop the violence!
    Never, never, Oi! Oi! Oi!

    1. who sings that

  14. I meant the Yiddish, but for reasons best known to myself tend spell it with an ‘i’. I think it just seems more aesthetically pleasing that way, maybe.

  15. You are forgiven. We will not call in the skinheads to apply a beating.

  16. the large picture of a naked man
    with hairy nether regions covering his pubes
    is creeping me out

  17. van,

    Let me rephrase it this way:

    Whatever else you may think about “order[ing] suspect husbands to perform in front of clergy,” it doesn’t fit the image of Catholic prudery.

    Nor does the fact that the Church annuls marriages based on (male) impotence fit with the idea of the Church repressing female sexuality.

  18. Except maybe a discussion of BD’s erect penis.

    …or it displayed in HD video projected on the side of a tractor trailer rolling down the freeway.

  19. I haven’t yet taken a long hard look at the article.

  20. Thank you, Mad Max.

    I got the first one, no problem. The bit about women having Platonic relationships with impotent husbands sort of leads the reader astray in interpreting your second comment.

  21. No it doesn’t.

  22. Nor:

    OK. But I will still argue that the statement is not germane to his point, and therefore is distracting and decreases the impact of his sarcasm.

  23. make that Ner:

  24. at least it [meaning: the article!] wasn’t up this morning- nothing ruins breakfast around here faster than a discussion of bob dole’s withered penis.

    “Except maybe a discussion of BD’s erect penis.”

    * Abrubtly stops chewing, pauses, stands up, carries breakfast plate over to waste can, dumps rest of sausage links in trash *

  25. I will still argue

  26. van,

    Thank you for pointing out my lack of clarity. I’m still working on my sarcasm, and it still doesn’t come naturally. Uh, maybe I should rephrase that last bit, but you get the point.

  27. Stop already!

  28. Condolences:

    Your post is mysterious. Are you suggesting that I am vincibly ignorant for not accepting the Catholic faith, though I am aware of it and have access to its teachings? If so, are you therefore offering me condolences because I’m going to hell?

  29. Mad Max,

    Well, now that you’re being so nice I feel bad and am compelled to admit that my initial response to your post was more about you absurdly (in my opinion) claiming “presumptive validity” for your views on non-marital sex on that thread the other week.

    I have read somewhere that the Puritans would grant a divorce if one spouse was unwilling or unable to meet his conjugal obligations. Seems like there would need to be a complaint from a dissatisfied spouse to start the process though…unless the church would intervene in a childless marriage on its own accord.

    Never apologize:

    If you will permit me to explain myself…

  30. A history show the other night about sex said the puritans had 6 men for every 1 woman. The men lowered their standards of morality for a potential bride. In fact 60% of the women were pregnant when they married.

  31. van, you make things too complicated.

  32. Sounds like the men first lowered their standards of morality when they impregnated those unmarried women.

  33. Or just one did.

  34. Penis dimension
    Penis dimension
    Penis dimension is worrying me
    I can’t hardly sleep at night
    ‘Cause of penis dimension

  35. What?

  36. Nick Gillespie takes a long, hard look at the history of impotence.
    Shouldn’t that be a long, thick, uncut, hard look?

  37. This just might explain why Dole’s wife, now a U.S. senator from North Carolina, was always curiously absent from his Viagra (and Pepsi) ads. She mattered far less in the situation than we might have thought before reading this excellent book.

    She may have been absent from the ads, but shortly after Viagra first hit the market, she was quoted in the news pages as saying that it was “a very nice drug” (or words to that effect), which had exactly the effect on me that was cited by edna and uncle sam above in connection with the ads.

  38. Whatever it takes to get off the Dole.

  39. Am I the only guy left who views sex as a normal, pleasant and healthy activity, and feels no need to explore longwinded and overanalyzed historical and mythological perspectives from some blowhard?

    So the Little Desperation doesn’t want to come out and play now and then. Big deal. Welcome to aging, folks. The emotionally immature might want to kill themselves before it happens, because there’s far worse in store for you as time passes.

    It’s just fucking, people. Sheeh. Human cultural evolution pretty much stopped when we developed languange, didn’t it? No wonder the Neandethals died off. They couldn’t take the endless prattling and self absorption of the Homo sapiens.

    Heh heh heh… blowhard…

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