But What Would Chocolate Jesus Drink?

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Reuters reports:

An Italian film showing Jesus Christ drinking Coca-Cola sparked such strong protest from the soft-drinks giant that it blocked the film's Easter weekend premiere, the film makers said.

The film 7km from Jerusalem is about an Italian advertising executive who is soul searching after losing his job and marriage. He flies to Jerusalem, where he runs into Jesus.

According to local press reports, he offers the returned Christ a can of Coca-Cola and, seeing Jesus drinking the beverage, thinks: "What a testimonial!"

Movie site here.

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  1. Great, I get to be the first to answer —

    YOO-HOO!

  2. *walks off. Umbriel wins thread. Well Challenged!

  3. I get to be first to say that our pernicious media alwasy treats Jesus like a doormat, but never Mohammed.

  4. I wonder what soda the Chocolate Mohammed drinks? Somehow I doubt we will ever be treated to an answer by any of these hereos of the First Amendment.

  5. Well, Jesus has been known to clean some feet every now and again. What’d Mohamed ever do for foot hygiene?

  6. Can’t be long before Pepsi goes after Mohammed’s endorsement. I understand that Cadbury Schweppes is engaging the Buddha for 7UP:”The unCola. . .for the unExistent Self”.

  7. And again the world goes into a tailspin over flying spaghetti monsterism.

    Can we “cure” religion, please?

  8. Abdul – that’s cuz advertising took a beating with the “Mohammed drinks Zima” campaign.

  9. advertising took a beating with the “Mohammed drinks Zima” campaign

    Some heads rolled after that one.

  10. Mohammed would be the perfect spokesperson for Cold Cock Malt Liquor.

  11. Coke just doesn’t want to be seen as a one deity cola

  12. I don’t know about soft drinks. Jesus was a spokesman for big fish. If he came back today he’d be pimping Long John Silver’s

  13. Ad Man – yes – although for their efforts we had to give them a hand…

    [crickets]

  14. [insert reference to The Gods Must Be Crazy here]

  15. Someone screwed the pooch in rejecting “Zeus Zips Zima”.

  16. Pro Lib,

    Did that comment leak over from the gay Disney thread?

  17. Didn’t anyone notice that the Coke turned into wine? And sparkling wine at that!

    Turns out it is a great testimonial…for Asti Spumante.

  18. “Chocolate Jesus: your first beverage for yiffing”

    yeah, I could see a disney theme going on here…

  19. Man-o-Manishevitz!

  20. highnumber,

    Why, no. I assume some sort of Goofy-Pluto allegations are making the rounds there?

    Ba`al Hammon: “Nothing goes better with human sacrifice than Mountain Dew–“Dew It Cathage Cool”!”

  21. Ummm…this isn’t a story about offended Christians, John, so the whole “First Amendment warrior” shtick isn’t on point for this thread.

    This is a story about offended Coca-Cola executives, and about trademark control.

    I’m definitely on the pro-intellectual-property side of the fence here at Reason, but I have to wonder whether preventing the incidental mention of a product whose name has deliberately been made ubiquitous is really an intellectual property issue.

    I think trademarks should be protected from being used to sell competing brands or unrelated products, but I don’t think you should have to digitize out the little Polo man on the shirt of your documentary subject. If you don’t want your brand to be part of someone’s art, stop putting your fucking trademark on every available surface.

    Since if Jesus came back to Earth, he would probably drink a Coke, I think it’s legitimate for someone to include that in their teleplay, and I don’t think trademark control enters into it.

  22. Frankly, I’d make a sequel where Jesus spits out the Coke and says, “Wish I had a Pepsi”. And I say that as a drinker of Coca-Cola’s fine beverage.

  23. Shit like this makes me wish Nietzsche was still alive.

  24. I heard from my uncle that Hitler drank Coke all the time.

    ALL THE TIME!

    That, or Dr. Pepper.

    Anyway, might this be called “product dis-placement”?

  25. No, because he’d be doing commercials with the slogan, “Thus Drank Zarathustra.”

  26. Dr. Pepper will last a thousand years!

  27. that’s cuz advertising took a beating with the “Mohammed drinks Zima” campaign

    Zima should get a pitchman with a reputation for comebacks. . . Someone who could rise again no matter how drastic the defeat. . . Someone who could defeat death itself.

    I got just the guy! Bill Cosby!

  28. I’m more intrigued by the question: What would Chocoloate Jesus pee?

  29. Abdul,

    God is great! He gave us the chocolate cake!

  30. Having a cold diminishes one’s ability to spel.

  31. ProL: nice!

    WHAT DO YOU WANT!!!! For breakfast. this morning.

  32. I’m surprised that no one has done something with that Joan Osbourne song about “God.”

    What if God was one of us?
    Just a coke drinker on a bus.
    etc.

  33. I’d love to see Jesus in one of those cheesy Mentos commercials.

  34. An Italian film showing Jesus Christ drinking Coca-Cola sparked such strong protest from the soft-drinks giant that it blocked the film’s Easter weekend premiere

    Yeah, you wouldn’t want your product associated with a person who advocates peace, love and charity.

  35. I’d love to see Jesus in a used car commercial. He would shout out the values associated with the used cars so loudly that the multitudes could hear him for many miles. Then he could given them loaves, fishes and used cars.

  36. I’d love to see Jesus in one of those cheesy Mentos commercials.

    Wow. The first thing I thought upon reading that was, “Since when are there cheesy Mentos?! That’s fucking disgusting.” I hate mondays.

  37. VM,

    And lo, the Lord Coz moved among us, slighting His brother Russell, and warning the people that if they were not careful, they might learn something before He was done. Hey, hey, hey, sayeth the Lord (The congregation says, Hey, hey, hey).

    And He smoteth Jeffery, who was four years old.

    Grotius,

    Although I am certainly a fan of Jesus, I’m afraid that he is not the best holy figure to represent an auto manufacturer. No, the best one is. . .Ahura Mazda.

  38. Coke adds afterlife.

    I’d like to buy the Lord a Coke.

  39. Pro Libertate,

    Didn’t Jesus mention cars on the Sermon on the Mount? Something like blessed are the used cars for they shall inherit the driveways of the Earth.

  40. Grotius,

    Ah, the Gospel According to Lee. You misquoted it a bit, though. The actual text is, “Blessed are the Jeep Makers”.

  41. Have a Coke and a miracle.

  42. Pro Libertate,

    Actually, I’m quoting from the text was hidden by a secret cabal in an effort to deny the bloodline of the true holy transmission.

  43. Jeep makers or cheese makers?

    “I’d love to see Jesus in one of those cheesy Mentos commercials.”

    okay:
    hier

    and don’t forget judas

  44. I don’t know about Jesus, but the prophet Isaiah really does talk about cars:

    In that day the Lord will take away the bravery of their tinkling ornaments about their feet, and their cauls, and their round tires like the moon, the chains, and the bracelets, and the mufflers.

    Isa. 3:18-19 (King James Version)

  45. If you don’t want your brand to be part of someone’s art, stop putting your fucking trademark on every available surface.

    A-fucking-men.

  46. jp,

    Ah, but note the curious omission of the ubiquitous Christmas Tree Ornament. Clearly, that’s another point in Isaiah heralding the coming of Christ.

  47. Wasn’t coke fighting outlawed?

  48. It’s Crazy Jesus, working miracles for you with prices so low YOU’LL THINK HE’S GOD!

  49. I see my risen lord as more of a Red Bull guy.

  50. I guess the problem that some people have with this sort of thing involves complaints about the “commercialization” of Christ. Of course Christians opened that pandora’s box themselves long ago.

  51. Dated a woman name of Pandora years ago

    It aint no myth

  52. don’t worry, brother, we’re not gonna ask if you opened her box.

    awful. terrible. inappropriate comment.

  53. I’d like to buy the Lord a Coke.

    You just reminded me that, when I attended St. Sabina Grade School, we used to sing “I’d Like to Teach the World to Sing” at our class’s Wednesday morning Masses. It always seemed weird to be singing the Coke commercial theme music in church.

    That’s what happens when you attend a Catholic school where the teachers like to play folk guitar during the 1970s.

    We also sang “One Tin Soldier” which was from Billy Jack, but I didn’t know that at the time.

  54. It aint no myth

    Was she just looking for someone to dance with?

  55. Dated a woman name of Pandora years ago

    I’ve been considering hooking up with an old girlfriend again, who’s very much wanting to get back together.

    Her name is Juanita, but I’m 99% sure she ain’t the same one.

  56. Stevo, you went to St. Sabina?

    Please tell me there’s another NorCo person on this board!

  57. A nice Jewish boy like Yeshua? He’d enjoy a cold egg cream.

    I would have liked to have seen the miracle of The Five Bottles of Seltzer and the Two Cans of U-Bet’s.

    And Umbriel, if Jesus drank Yoo-hoo, it would’ve started out as water. I know it has magical properties, because Animated Yogi Berra was always able to climb the outfield walls at Yankee Stadium after slaking his thirst with it.

    Kevin

  58. Jesus doesn’t need anybody to hand him a Coke. He just needs a few pitchers of water…

    Anyway, the Coca Cola executives know this, and they’re terrified about what would happen to their price.

    SUPPLY KURVE!!!

  59. Stevo, you went to St. Sabina?

    Please tell me there’s another NorCo person on this board!

    Yeah, St. Sabina Grade School and St. Thomas Aquinas High School! I grew up in Florissant, not far from Sunset Park. The house was adjacent to Mullanphy Park, if you know where that is.

    Where’d you go, downstater?

  60. “Shit like this makes me wish Nietzsche was still alive.”

    Nietzsche is Dead. God is doing fine, thank you.

  61. what if i were romeo in black jeans

  62. The problem is that Salafi Christians do not see how soda relates to the pure Christianity the worship. If you are not famiar with teh term Salafi Christian click here: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Salafi_Christian

  63. or er . . . paste the url into your browser . . .

  64. Don’t send no private investigator to find me please — ‘less he speaks Chinese.

  65. Hope it was a Diet Coke, cause Jesus Saves calories, too.

  66. Me the Savior
    Me play joke
    You got water
    I got Coke

    [runs off]

  67. yeah, i know where all that is.

    i grew up in florissant too – near St. Norbert’s/Wedgwood area if you’re familiar with it. i went to brown, hjh & central. as you can probably tell from the handle, i live on the east side now.

    i’ve still got a lot of family in florissant & bellefontaine.

    small world!

  68. This is called Parody, since when can’t we not make fun of a company?

    Honestly, they are making fun of jesus and coke. And if anything, coke should be happy that jesus drinks their drink. After all, there’s nothing better than a testimonial from a man who ripped jews off claiming to be the messiah, then his fake religion was started by peter and St. Paul, then the roman government got involved and before you know it the church started excommunicating jewish people who were skeptical.

    Coke, the drink of a magician who liked to rip other people’s religions off.

  69. One of my favorite lines from Lina Wertmuller’s “Swept Away” is when Gennarino enters an abandoned shack on the island and, off-camera, says something like, “Oh, you again. Everywhere I go. Worse than Coca-Cola.” Cut to the shack’s interior, where Gennarino is staring at a crucifix nailed to the wall.

  70. i grew up in florissant too – near St. Norbert’s/Wedgwood area if you’re familiar with it. i went to brown, hjh & central. …
    i’ve still got a lot of family in florissant & bellefontaine.

    You grew up a bit east of my normal haunts, but I knew a girl who lived in that area. The Bender family. And one of the teachers from my HS, Father Gallovich, was from St. Norbert’s, I think.

    as you can probably tell from the handle, i live on the east side now.

    I used to not go east much, but one of my cousins lives in Waterloo, IL, now. I go to his place fairly often for booze, barbecue and/or bonfires these days.

    small world!

    No, we St. Louisans are disproportionately represented among the world’s original thinkers, that’s all. ­čÖé

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