Culture

Why They Hate Us (and Might Be Right To)…

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Via Drudge (with pics):

Dog-Human Yoga Trend Grows…

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  1. If this ends in dog-human marriage being legalized, I’m moving to Australia.

  2. . . .where, I presume, such things won’t be allowed.

    Yoga. I had a girlfriend who did yoga for “exercise”. It didn’t appear to work.

    “Oh, move over, Rover, and let Jimi take over.” I guess Mr. Hendrix was talking about yoga–who knew?

  3. I hear this makes em more tender and not so gamey tasting.

  4. brotherben,

    Women or dogs?

  5. Yes.

  6. Everybody’s doin’ the dog.

  7. Laddie, you might want to reconsider the move to Australia, home of the song, “Givin’ the Dog a Bone”.

  8. Given that dogs can already lick their balls, how much more flexible do they need to be?

  9. I’ve done the “downward dog” in yoga, but this is ridiculous.

    Ba Dum Bum

    I’m here all week folks, don’t forget to tip your waiters and waitresses.

  10. this thing on?

  11. You suck!

  12. You’re lucky I’m not Michael Richards.

  13. That’s just wrong.
    Funny, but wrong.

  14. I’ve been unable to find anything funny to say about this. This qualifies as just one of those things that is so bizarre it is beyond mockery.

    I’ve puzzled and puzzled, and now my puzzler is sore. Maybe I will go do some yoga. (by myself.)

  15. Anyweh, I was just kidding about going to do yoga. I’ve never done yoga. As ProLib already pointed out, is it effective in any way? I wasn’t aware that looking stupid counted as exercise. (I’m in great shape, in that case!)

  16. *passes the Smacky another corned beef on raisin bread sandwich…

  17. “is it effective in any way?”

    Yes. Try it some time. Warning: it’s stenuous, far more so than a leisurely work out at the gym.

  18. VM,
    That killed my appetite.
    Is that some sort of in-joke?
    If so, please keep it in.

    Warning: it’s stenuous, far more so than a leisurely work out at the gym.

    How does it compare to a strenuous workout at the gym?

  19. How does it compare to a strenuous workout at the gym?

    I go about three times a week. Depending on the class, it can be similar to weight training, it’s good for working out multiple muscle groups at the same time and getting better control of your body. It probably won’t help a person lose weight as it’s anaerobic exercise, but it has improved my functional strength, balance and flexibility.

  20. Yoga also allows one to levitate, which burns more calories than you’d think!

  21. I’m not that advanced, PL. I don’t even have the concentration necessary to stand on one hand and levitate rocks and R2 units.

  22. David,

    That is why you fail.

  23. highnumber,

    It can’t be an in-joke since I’ve never eaten a sandwich of that sort, at least not while I was conscious of it.

    My best guess is that this is a sign of Viking Moose’s disapproval of my commentary. When I make a post that displeases him, he passes me a sandwich. And, hopefully, a stomach pump.

  24. Smacky!

    no disapproval whatsoever! it was a *reward* for your comment that made me LOL:
    “I’ve puzzled and puzzled, and now my puzzler is sore. Maybe I will go do some yoga. (by myself.)”

    I thought that was great!

    High#, Smacky:

    It was a reference to Parma (suburb south of cleveland. An area clevelanders used to rip back when) that you heard in the 70s and early 80s. Between that and formal bowling wear and wedding polka singers it embodied, back then, those aspects of cleveland that were made fun of nationally.

    (It was around the same time the chamber of commerce ran the “New York’s the Big Apple, but Cleveland is a Plum” campaign)

    /kicks sandwich

  25. VM,

    Phew! I thought that maybe you were punishing me.

    (It was around the same time the chamber of commerce ran the “New York’s the Big Apple, but Cleveland is a Plum” campaign)

    I think I’ve seen T-shirts in Cleveland that say “Cleveland is a Plum” (remember Big Fun? That’s where I saw them.)

    My guess is that perhaps it is a pun…namely, “Cleveland is aplomb”.

    yeah!

    Also: I’m sure yoga looks cool when David is doing it.

  26. it was also the time when the RTA got new busses with tinted windows etc, but with faulty gas gauge thingies so they were out of gas on the side of the road.

    (IIRC, being “a plum” was “good”: like with a car. “This is a plum”, as opposed to being a lemon. like, “that’s a peach”)

  27. Also: I’m sure yoga looks cool when David is doing it.

    Only if by cool, you mean “A guy built like George Costanza with hair twisted into a posture that should be physically impossible for his build”.

  28. Only if by cool, you mean “A guy built like George Costanza with hair twisted into a posture that should be physically impossible for his build”.

    *reaches for cheetos. thinks, “this could be good”

    🙂

  29. those aspects of cleveland that were made fun of nationally.

    I’m here to tell ya that Cleveland, with or without Parma, did not even rate being made fun of where I live.

    Where I live, however, would definitely hold well-attended mommie-and-dog/hamster/parrot/pothos yoga classes. In feng-shui certified studios. With plantation-grown fair-trade bamboo flooring. And valet parking.

  30. In fact, now that I think of it, I know several people who take their dogs to the chiropractor. Regularly.

    And the previous owner of my horse used to have a horsie chiropractor and actupuncturist perform on him. She also maintained a cache of aromatherapy vials at the barn.

    Sometimes life itself moves beyond parody.

  31. I got into yoga for awhile because I was going through a slow patch and wanted to give autofellatio a try as a change of pace. After a few months the instructor told me I was as stretchy as I was going to get. The problem was that I needed a longer cock.

  32. I have a cunning plan. Let’s all quit our day jobs and go into estate and retirement planning for pets.

  33. In high school I knew a guy who could wrap his legs around his head. He claimed to his friends that he couldn’t perform autofellatio, but I always suspected otherwise.

  34. “I’m here to tell ya that Cleveland, with or without Parma, did not even rate being made fun of where I live”

    Buffalo? Camden NJ? Pittsburgh? Rochester NY? Binghamton, NY? Anacostia, MD? Gary, IN? Detroit?

    There’s not many places that rate that way!

    de stijl – *pours drain cleaner in ears and eyes to burn that image out of head*

    (plus, I woulda lent you the Noam Chomsky blow up doll and the leather-bound copy of “Heather has Two Mommies” (the one with the sweaty pillow fight scene on page 69)).

  35. d’oh

    smacky | April 3, 2007, 2:21pm | #
    In high school I knew a guy who could wrap his legs around his head. He claimed to his friends that he couldn’t perform autofellatio, but I always suspected otherwise.

    if you ever saw him out of the house, he probably was telling the truth…

  36. if you ever saw him out of the house, he probably was telling the truth…

    Yeah, that’s why I ultimately believed him. 🙂

  37. If I were at that session, my alpha-wannabe dog would be vigorously trying to “perform Yoga” on those other canines.

  38. “perform Yoga”

    DING DING DING!

    we have a new H&R euphemism! yeaaaa!

    awesome.

    interstate commerce
    eat cheetos
    perform yoga
    shenanigans.

    terrific!

  39. GAry IndiAna GarY INdiana GarY IndiAna…..Let me say it once agaaaaain….

  40. Bee,

    Gee, that is bad. Glad you got out alive. Hopefully after moving from there you’ve fully recovered your sense of smell, too.

  41. Bee:

    minus 100 points for getting “the Music Man” in my head.

    🙂

    still in chicagoland, tho?

  42. Those who know me will laugh, but a few years ago I took some yoga for a couple weeks.

    Two girls I worked with once talked me into joining them at their once weekly classes: S—-, a hot half-Ethiopian girl who looked like a cross between Halle Berry and Karen Mok, and C——–, who was a somewhat plump but very curvy cute blonde. Also, there was a Thai restaurant next door to the yoga place where we could go have dinner afterward. “C’mon, it’ll be a fun weekly thing!”

    Even though I had no particular interest in yoga (aside from a vague interest in moderate exercise), I agreed to join them.

    S—- didn’t show up for the first class. Turned out she quit.

    C——– didn’t show up for the second class. She quit too.

    Also, the yoga instructor was a kind of, well, annoyingly New Agey old lady. I quit after three sessions. Also, I am not very flexible.

    Chicks. They are always luring you into yoga lessons with their feminine wiles and their promises of Thai dinners, and then they run out on you. Never again.

    True story.

  43. Yoga can be pretty tough. It isn’t cardio work, but it is decent strength and flexibility training. Before you suggest it isn’t hard, try one of the intermediate Rodney Yee videos.

    Still, you ain’t gonna lose weight doing yoga alone. Not enough calorie burn.

  44. Oh dear, no, sorry, my bad. I live and move amongst the terminally loopy in LA. I just got swept away by Moose’s reference to Gary, Indiana. A place I would be pleased to visit, someday. After Cleveland, however. Preference goes to places that have MLB or NHL teams.

    Angles are heading to Cleveland next week, in fact. A team which has not yet succumbed to the new fad of baseball Dog Night.

  45. Why They Hate Us

    By ‘they’ I assume you mean Rush Limbaugh and Bill O’Reilly, right?

  46. I’m still expecting a little sympathy for falling for the blandishments of those two conniving yoga temptresses.

  47. Stevo,
    The little fatty blonde? I married her. Her uncle Jabba catered the wedding.
    You really shoulda tried harder ya dirty bastage.

  48. Hey now, she wasn’t unattractive. Much of the fatty tissue was extremely well-placed, as it happened. And she was intriguingly playful. And she was even interested in me — in the same manner that a drowning woman is interested in a life preserver, unfortunately. She was stuck living with a horrid loser boyfriend, but she was too co-dependent to dump him unless and after she already had a replacement relationship going. I’d have been interested back if I hadn’t be scared shitless by her desperation in combination with her almost cynical willingness to “settle” for a man she’d be happy to dump as soon as a marginally better prospect appeared. People grab life preservers when they need them, but that doesn’t mean they’ll love them or form healthy long-term relationships with them. Or won’t be inclined to grab the next better life preserver that comes along.

  49. Wow Stevo, you made her sound intriguing and scary as hell all at the same time. I feel for ya brother. Peace out

  50. Stevo…if she was as desperate as you say, but wasn’t willing to go to a yoga class once or twice to snag you, heck, yoga must suck worse than I’ve heard.

  51. Oh, sorry, guess she did go to one…anyway, I’m built much like a Sumotori so yoga classes would be little more than humiliation for me, and I have enough of that in my life already.

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