Greedy Companies Cause Global Warming

Not News: A senator blames a large corporation for global warming. News: It's Sen. James Inhofe (R-Okla.) and he's blaming the Weather Channel.

Via Gristmill

Comments

[Pi Guy]

"What'll happen to the WeatherChannel's ratings when people aren't scared anymore?"

Well, they can still show the "After the Disaster" specials on the WeatherChannel.

OT: Suppose we asked the same thing about "The Eternal Word of Truth" channel. Hmmmm...

[Mark Borok]

And Darwin conceived the theory of evolution as a way to boost the ratings of the Discovery Channel, which he cleverly anticipated would come into existence around this time.

[sage]

global warming hype
they scare us to raise money
love my gas guzzler

[Truth]

Basically, 99.7% of the "Greenhouse effect" is NATURAL!!!
http://www.geocraft.com/WVFossils/greenhouse_data.html

[Cab]

nice haiku

[Nick M.]

I thought haikus wer 3-5-3 not 5-7-5.

[de stijl]

NIck M.,

No. You're thinking of Buddy Ryan's Chicago Bears (ca. 1984) defensive alignment scheme.

[Tom]

I hate liberals
Trashing Capitalism
and wearing Che shirts

[David]

I thought people only watched the weather channel to be scared by the snow forecasts, and maybe the occasion tornado documentary.

[Buddy Ryan]

Wasn't that a 4-5 alignment (more specifically, a 4-5-2 alignment)? I forget.

[MikeP]

Yeah. Global warming seems a little slow to make the weather channel exciting for the MTV generation.

[Bhh]

I thought it was common knowledge that the Weather Channel controls the weather to boost its ratings. Open your eyes people.

[jimmydageek]

I only watch the weather channel for their repeated play of "Twister"...

[MikeP]

Well, you know... Buddy Ryan originally wanted to have a 10-1 alignment. But then he was informed that Mike Ditka would be coaching from the sidelines and couldn't serve as the 1.

[de stijl]

MikeP,

Were those eleven tiny Ditkas?

[jimmydageek]

The Weather Channel
Plays "Twister" repeatedly.
Weather Channel Rocks!

[Warren]

What'll happen to the WeatherChannel's ratings when people aren't scared anymore?

Scared of what? The coming of the apocalypse, or having their festival rained out? Somehow I just don't see TWC getting much of a boost from the former. The latter is still going to tune in, global warming or no.

Then again, I never understood how TWC got paid for anyway. The only time I ever left it on during commercials was when they had some guy about to get blown away by a hurricane.

Great drama unfolding as the sky gets dark, the rain starts, the wind picks up, and eventually the poor bastard has his arms wrapped around a street lamp while cows are flying past. All for my entertainment! Even then, the all-news networks started putting their own poor bastards on the scene, and I flipped over on the breaks.

These days I use these here innerweb tubes for my weather prognostication.

[de stijl]

Tasty weather girls
Meterologists are hot
When they wear glasses

[James]

I've said a lot of terrible things about the Weather Channel but I cannot believe that even that locus of Evil would be melting all those glaciers just for ratings.

Do you all think there might be a religious component in all this? That the Christian fundamentalist view of a 6000-year-old unchanging Earth is threatened by the sight of receding snow cops on mountains?

[Warren]

The weather honeys
Pale by comparison to
Reason Pillow Girl

[NotThatDavid]

Japanese haiku are 3-5-3. It gets expanded to 5-7-5 for Western languages because we have so much less mileage out of a syllable than they do.

[de stijl]

Something about Inhofe claiming the The Weather Channel is pimping a false crisis to boost their ratings while on Fox News, strikes me as too precious for words.

[MikeP]

Not News: A senator blames a large corporation for global warming. News: It's Sen. James Inhofe (R-Okla.) and he's blaming the Weather Channel.

To be fair, he is blaming a large corporation for global warming hype.

I still don't think global warming hype will make people tune into TWC. But I do find it amusing that the second stupidest class of policy motivators in the world interviews the first stupidest class as experts.

[de stijl]

NotThatDavid,

Is the German haiku pattern 17-23-17?

[thoreau]

Katherine, you've got the format all wrong. Let me show you how to do this:

Not news: Politician blaming large corporation for global warming.
News: It's Sen. James Inhofe.
Fark.com: He's blaming the Weather Channel.

[Warren]

NotThatDavid has
His head up his ass, So says
Wikipedia

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Haiku

[Cab]

the weather channel
is only slightly less wrong
than Lou Dobbs Tonight

[David]

Is the German haiku pattern 17-23-17?

No, that's how you audible from a running play to a pass.

[NotThatDavid]

I blame Easterbrook's
crappy football column for
misleading me, then.

[Cab]

I won't be able
to stop talking like this for
the rest of the day

[jimmydageek]

Thank God it's Friday
Must take break from Hit and Run
God Damn, Haiku's suck!

[Guy Montag]

Tasty weather girls
Meterologists are hot
When they wear glasses

After meeting Katherine I wondered why she stopped modeling to do this. She would be a hot weatherwoman too!

Now, everybody stop picking on the Weather Channel. I need to sell Carbon Credits!

Oh, Katherine, you ought to see my hybrid. It has the coolest sound system. Goes all the way to 11!

[vm]

"Haiku's suck"

what about the Haiku's suck? "Haiku's suck is orange"? the suck of haiku. the wrath of kahn. like that?

/kicks self

fun one for warren 🙂

drag balls over glass
but not on weather channel
drag over glacier

[keed keed]

[pinko]

"Big" Weather Channel...
more retarded excuses
from Hummer humpers.

[Guy Montag]

vm,

I think drag racing is a carbon negative sport.

[VM]

Guy: cool! 🙂

[jimmydageek]

VM...yes, the haiku's suck is orange...or, the haiku's suck is greater, if only marginally, than that of VM...:)

gd spell check thingy...;)

[jimmy smith]

Well, I'm grateful for Global Warming, unlike some. I get to use that big box AC behind my house for something other than to put a cooler of beer on when I cut the grass. I didn't bust my butt for 50 years to suffer when the temps get to warm for my comfort. Bring it on!!! Turn that big AC down to about 65. I don't care who/what the cause is.

[JLM]

Global warming is a vast Jim Cantori conspiracy to increase the number of hurricanes. You know that guy has a few women in every town on the East and Gulf coasts.

[VM]

JDG:

lol!

agreed about marginal propensity to suck 🙂

[sage]

what the hell is this
you guys are way off topic
stick with weather crap

[highnumber]

the suck of haiku
is such an abstract topic
not good for reason

[JohnD]

I'll beleive what the weather channel says about the future effects of global warming when they can get a 5 day forecast right

[highnumber]

sage has gotten stuck
all his comments are haikus
bad end for the week

[ed]

Here's a model to contemplate: warmer weather = expanded growing seasons = more photosynthesis = more carbon dioxide-eating vegetation = less CO2 in the atmosphere. Of course, we'll need more tractors to cut down all the vegetation, and many of us will fart after we eat it. So what will happen? Nobody knows. Am I worried? No. At least not about the heat.
All that farting, however...

[jimmydageek]

Hurricane coming
Weather Channel says to leave
Shilling for big oil

[highnumber]

sickness is spreading
i could do this all day long
somebody help me!

[highnumber]

don't you understand?
there is no global warming
where is ron bailey?

[Akira MacKenzie]

Clueless right winger
Knows not science from his ass
Evolution is fact too

[violent_k]

I cannot help you
The disease has gone too far
I suggest we drink

[Guy Montag]

I'll beleive what the weather channel says about the future effects of global warming when they can get a 5 day forecast right

Man, now you did it! We are going to be flooded by 'climatology' worshipers telling us how it is 'different' and comparing it to meterology is just 'dim'. Why? Because they say so!

ed,

Here's a model to contemplate: warmer weather = expanded growing seasons = more photosynthesis = more carbon dioxide-eating vegetation = less CO2 in the atmosphere. Of course, we'll need more tractors to cut down all the vegetation, and many of us will fart after we eat it. So what will happen? Nobody knows. Am I worried? No. At least not about the heat.
All that farting, however...

This is my favorite global warming model. (work safe) Of course, the AWG people are great in filling in Step Two 🙂

[big oil]

silly 'mericans
all your base belong to us
as does ron bailey

[ed]

Okay, I give in.
Haiku has captured me too.
I will die, I hope.

[highnumber]

who is guy montag?
what do people think of him?
obnoxious blowhard

[jimmydageek]

Guy montag no fun.
Spoils fun of haiku posters
with non haiku rant.

[MadTom]

"Haiku's suck"

No apostrophe.
Plural is "haiku"; no S.
Where's my grammar gun?

[highnumber]

i am sorry, guy
like shooting fish in barrels
such easy targets

[jimmydageek]

thank you, dear mad tom
for pointing out my errors
give us dumb folk break

[katsumi]

Haiku abuses
flom Gaijin telitoly
food not dericious

[Shocked]

Shocked, I am, so shocked
Past Ron-Bailey-esque "mistakes"
Continue to ring

[highnumber]

set aside one day
comment in only haiku
let's say march sixteenth

[Stevo Darkly]

Global disaster!
Yet you talk football, weather babes?
Focus, guys, focus!

... on weather babes, sure!
(I pleasured myself to an
Incoming cold front)

[VM]

yea Stevo is back
Master of teh Intertubes
His wit knows no bounds

[Stevo Darkly]

Thank you, Mister Moose
And for alerting me to
This here haiku fest

set aside one day
comment in only haiku
let's say march sixteenth

Good thought, highnumber
-- and eat green sushi for a
Nice St. Haiku's Day!

[STEPHEN THE GOLDBERGER]

For all that I know
The Super Bowl Shuffle crew
caused Global Warming

[highnumber]

avoid green sushi
unless it's the wasabi
(really horseradish)

[violent_k]

I think Guy has left
did not enjoy the haiku's
should we follow him?

[crimethink]

Global warming seems a little slow to make the weather channel exciting for the MTV generation.

Strangely, I'm pretty sure the Weather Channel has more music these days than MTV...

[VM]

violent k, look!
no apostrophe plural
read what MadTom wrote!

[B.P.]

Superbowl Shuffle
sequestered carbon by
going to landfill

[violent_k]

Hit post with much haste
before reading all comments
I need a damn life

[VM]

Not at all VK
follow haiku-number's lead
have good Friday Fun!

[The Real Bill]

I haven't written a haiku since sixth grade, and I'm not going to write one now. You guys keep it up, though; I'm busting a gut! (ROTFLMFAO)

[Mad Mike]

OK, haiku fans, let's cut to the Weather Channel chase:

Stephanie Abrams
Kristina Abernathy
Sharon Resultan

[haiku-number]

Mad Mike is genius
or watches too much tv
either way, good job

[Akira MacKenzie]

Whoops... I miscounted, big time:

Clueless right winger
Knows not science from his ass
Darwin was right too

[Jim Walsh]

Jeanetta Jones...WOW!
When she says "Raaaaaaaa-in" with that drawl,
South rises agin'

[Sam-Hec]

Bunnies Don't Haiku

[Armed and Hammered]

What'll happen to (insert government agency here) when people aren't scared anymore?

[apollos]

Not all Greens are red, but it's not just the color-blind that have trouble telling the difference. Check out http://www.4globalwarming.com

[Genghis Kahn]

cannot haiku,
all of you, hear me!
without zen

the real bill
wants to haiku, with-
out haiku-ing

hn, he wants
to fart, without farting
bloat bloat bloat

genghis kahn he
on road and miss whole
party so sorry

[gucci wallet]

wow, cool, yep this is a great site. I enjoy.

[louis vuitton for sale]

I haven't written a haiku since sixth grade