Department of Creepy Departments

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In anticipation of the day when our entire administrative, legal, and law enforcement apparatus is primarily targeted at sex crime, the state of New York is about to create an "Office of Sex Offender Management."

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  1. Freeze! Sex Police!

  2. As long as I don’t have to share a desk with Dwight, it wouldn’t be that bad.

  3. Sex offender management? So you have to call them all in to meetings, make plans, track their progress on Microsoft Project? Just like at my office, except that instead of donuts they serve little boys? The mind boggles. Mine does, anyway.

  4. Yeah, but those management conferences in Vegas are wild.

  5. I certainly hope they don’t use this as an excuse to lock up people behind offensive myspace accounts. It would be most unfortunate for them to conflate pedophilia with encouraging drug use in minors, or vice versa. Either way I am against pedophilia of any kind (HONEST INJUN) but I do think kids should smoke herb. It would be a shame for people to think that so I am going to just put that possibility out there for you all so we can make sure it never happens.

  6. Franklin,

    Somehow I think the management conferences would always manage to be in Orlando…or Pasadena.

  7. Well, it’s not like sex offenders aren’t going to suddenly start managing themselves.

  8. We’ve been disrespected! If they don’t agree to 20 minute breaks, to begin when each child molester enters the Sex Offender Break Room, we’re striking!

    The Sex Offenders!

    United!

    Can never be defeated!

  9. Either way I am against pedophilia of any kind (HONEST INJUN) but I do think kids should smoke herb.

    So it’s Herb that’s into pedophilia. You’re just an accessory.

  10. Tros,

    Minors on pot! Legally it should be the parent’s call, but I advise against making a habbit of pot at a young age. Adolesents are still learning which behaviors are adaptive. If they have drugs in their brains most of the time, they’ll learn behaviors that are only adtaptive for high people. Then they might not learn behaviors that are adaptive for sober people. This means quiting at a latter age can be difficult. If anything, parents adolecents might benefit from experiencing an altered state under parental guidance a couple of times, just in case they are forced into taking drugs when parents aren’t there to help.

  11. forced into taking drugs when parents aren’t there to help

    I nominate jtuf for winner of the thread.

  12. The new deal will put in place a complex procedure that is aimed at keeping sex offenders off the streets after they have completed their prison terms.

    Whatever anyone thinks about the what punishments should or should not be administered to a sex offender, this stipulation is unnatural and outside the scope of reason.

  13. Whatever anyone thinks about the what punishments should or should not be administered to a sex offender, this stipulation is unnatural and outside the scope of reason.

    Nevertheless, it seems to be what the American people want. Call it the modern version of “run out of town”.

    Senator Dale Volker, a Republican from western New York who has sponsored bills on the issue for more than a decade, said the program would require more parole officers, more mental health workers and even a new facility to detain offenders beyond the one in St. Lawrence.

    I wonder if he was able to keep the drool from spilling down his chin while making that statement.

  14. Doesn’t western New York pretty much feed itself by running prisons for criminals from NYC?

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