God Talks to Pat Robertson Again—It's Not Good

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God and religious broadcaster Pat Robertson had another chat recently and the Lord of Hosts whispered to Robertson that the U.S. will suffer a "mass killing" in 2007–probably after September.

Whole thing here .  

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  1. Why is this not being treated as a threat?

  2. Why does it have to be a “Mass killing?” Why can’t these Protestants get over their anti-catholic prejudice?

  3. So, remind me again why Pat Robertson has more credibility than Miss Cleo.

  4. M,

    I agree. Stick his miserable ass in GUITMO. They invented the term “idiotarian” to describe this guy. I guess he feels the need to constantly live up to his name and reputation.

  5. Buddha told me to have compassion for Pat Robertson’s delusions.

  6. Uh, the guy can bench press 2000 pounds; I’m not sure Gitmo could hold him.

  7. In May, Mr. Robertson said God told him that storms and possibly a tsunami were to crash into America’s coastline in 2006. Even though the U.S. was not hit with a tsunami, Mr. Robertson on Tuesday cited last spring’s heavy rains and flooding in New England as partly fulfilling the prediction.

    Initial prediction: God will strike the president with deadly boils that will kill him.

    Actual happening: the president got a zit, and later suffered a cold for two days.

    Later rationalization: Zit/deadly boils, runny nose/death. . . eh, close enough. My prediction was right.

  8. Somewhat serious question:

    Say that, some time after September of 2007, a few bombs go off at abortion clinics, and more than a dozen people are killed. That could arguably count as a “mass killing”, or at least an attempt at a “mass killing”, under loose definitions. Could Robertson be taken in for questioning?

    You’re probably thinking that’s a dumb question. But what if a Muslim cleric said something similar, and then a few small bombs went off in the US on the predicted timetable and killed a dozen or so people?

  9. Well, God could obviously prevent this mass murder if it wanted to, and since he won’t (according to him, via Robertson), it must be his will. In fact, he created the world knowing full well this slaughter would happen–it must be very pleasing to him.

    Praise Jesus, err, Allah, hater of America!

  10. Maybe God meant that Robertson would be killed at a Catholic Mass. I suppose it’s not very religious of me to get my hopes up.

  11. Thoreau,

    I think you certainly would talk to Robertson if that happened. No question, if there were a bunch of abortion bombings people would go a little crazy and Pat would be backpeddling to cover his ass in a big way. I seriously doubt that Robertson is planning to bomb abortion clinics, but shooting your mouth off carries certain risks.

  12. I’d take his warning very seriously.

    In my lifetime, only two hurricanes have struck Massachusetts. The first, and most powerful was Hurricane Gloria.

    Gloria had originally been predicted to make landfall in the Carolinas. Suddenly, it veered northward, and drove straight up into Boston. That year, Pat Robertson was running for president, and he announced that he had prayed for God to spare those in the Carolinas from the hurricane’s wrath.

    From this I conclude:

    1) God listens to Pat Robertson and likes him.

    2) Pat Robertson wants New Englanders to die.

    😉

  13. John, it wasn’t a suggestion, but rather a question for information. I was wondering what the outcome would have been had an Ay-rab had reported the same conversation, that’s all.

  14. M.

    If Muslim had said the same thing, the people on Fox News and a few other places would report it and scream a little bit and no one else would pay much attention. I don’t think they should stick Robertson in GUITMO. I was just being laughing at the thought.

  15. Pat’s choo choo went chugging around the bend years ago. Why does anybody pay attention to this tinfoil hatted whackaloon anymore?

    Nothing to see here people, move along.

  16. Compliement alert: maybe it is just me, or maybe it is the fact that the id debate has died down, but Ron Bailey doesn’t seem to be posting about marginal freeks as often as he used to. Once in a while is okay. This post is okay.

    this stuff works better as comic relief now that he ain’t hittin’ it so often.

  17. I was just being laughing at the thought

    You’re going to jail, Pal.

  18. this stuff works better as comic relief now that he ain’t hittin’ it so often.

    And if anyone knows comic relief, it’s Sam Franklin.

    Meanwhile, my money’s still on the Amazing Kreskin for the real dope on things to come.

  19. Imagine what the punditsphere would be saying if Michael Moore had made the same claim.

  20. “The Lord didn’t say nuclear. But I do believe it will be something like that.”

    Why doesn’t Pat publish the transcript and we can read it for ourselves?

  21. It makes me wonder what God’s prediction would have been if the Republicans would have won.

  22. “It makes me wonder what God’s prediction would have been if the Republicans would have won.”

    Actually Pat is not even down with the Republicans anymore. Their continued refusal to endorse the sumary execution of gay people makes them, in Pat’s eyes at least, just as big of Godless heathens as the Democrats. Remember this is the guy who said 9-11 was God’s punishment of America for not stopping homosexuality. Why would I not be surprised to some day find out Pat is out cruising the internet looking to sodomize teenagers, ala Congressman Foley?

  23. “The Revelation of St. Pat the Insane”.

    Soon to be in fundamentalist bookstores everywhere.

  24. So, remind me again why Pat Robertson has more credibility than Miss Cleo

    Rimfax wins.

    I was just set to post something snarky when I saw this and coffee shot out my nose all over the monitor. Okay, that’s pretty gross. But I did LOL and barely was able to swallow the coffee before it shot out my nose. Well, it would have shot out my nose but I’m a grown up.

    Anyway, Pat: God has never talked to me once. Not even when I begged him to save Viola Crist from the cancer that was eating her up when I was seven and believed that you would help. Man that woman could fry chicken.

  25. I need a better proofreader:

    S/B

    Anyway, Pat: God has never talked to me once. Not even when I begged him to save Viola Crist from the cancer that was eating her up when I was seven and believed that God would help.

    Man that woman could fry chicken.

  26. And if anyone knows comic relief, it’s Sam Franklin.

    Howcum inactivist.org is down today, DAR?

  27. Maybe Pat’s dyslexic? A dog talked to Son of Sam in NYC in the ’70s.

  28. The Lord didn’t say nuclear

    Because He pronounces it “nukyaler.”

  29. Quoth Pat “”I have a relatively good track record,” he said. “Sometimes I miss.””

    I thought he was just a mouthpiece. Sounds like God is as much of a Texas Sharpshooter as Sylvia Browne.

  30. If Pat Robertson reveres the Bible as much as I do, he knows he has already shown himself to be a false prophet deserving to be killed.

    Deuteronomy 18:
    20 But the prophet, which shall presume to speak a word in my name, which I have not commanded him to speak, or that shall speak in the name of other gods, even that prophet shall die.

    21 And if thou say in thine heart, How shall we know the word which the LORD hath not spoken?

    22 When a prophet speaketh in the name of the LORD, if the thing follow not, nor come to pass, that is the thing which the LORD hath not spoken, but the prophet hath spoken it presumptuously: thou shalt not be afraid of him.

  31. I told God to tell Pat that. (Just between us here.)

    Some people say God and I have a sick sense of humor.

  32. Some people say God and I have a sick sense of humor.

    And when I die, I expect to find you laughing.

  33. Howcum inactivist.org is down today, DAR?

    We always take Mel Gibson’s birthday off.

  34. Here’s betting Bush will again ignore the “God determined to strike in the US” memo.

  35. I envy Pat Robertson. I wish God would talk to me. One time I tried really hard to listen to God, and he told me to go out and buy ‘Penny Lane.’ I think the voice I heard was John Lennon. That sucks. I was hosed.

  36. We always take Mel Gibson’s birthday off.

    Wrong answer. Inactivist is closed in observance of my little cousin’s birthday. She’s 10.

  37. The “terrorists” should plan their next shindig to “fulfill” Pat’s prophecy. That way, untold millions more of America’s idiots, err, Christians will be convinced that God speaks through him.

    Can you think of a quicker way to destroy the USA?

  38. See, this illustrates the problem with our Mainstream Media.

    Why isn’t the MSM reporting any of the good news God is sharing with Pat?

  39. Birthday greetings from the great White North then.

  40. Well, if there is a “mass killing” I am sure that ol’ Pat will blame the muslims, gays, pagans and feminists for it.

  41. After Orlando . . .city officials voted in 1998 to fly rainbow flags from city lampposts during the annual Gay Days event at Disney World, [Pat] Robertson issued the city a warning: “I don’t think I’d be waving those flags in God’s face if I were you. ? [A] condition like this will bring about the destruction of your nation. It’ll bring about terrorist bombs, it’ll bring earthquakes, tornadoes and possibly a meteor.”

    That August, Hurricane Bonnie pounded Virginia Beach (Robertson’s headquarters) with 10-15 foot swells and 90 mph winds.

  42. Mr. Robertson’s Age-Defying Pancake Batter, when applied moist to the body and allowed to dry, can provide one with hardy shell that can provide excellent protection from most Biblical plagues.

  43. Lord Jubjub:

    Orlando is God’s face? Everyone break out Google Earth, and let’s find His Holy Nostrils!

  44. And why should we take Pat’s prediction’s anymore seriously than Sylvia Browne’s.

    Maybe Pat can sucker Montel and get him to make Robertson a regular guest.

  45. Maybe Pat can sucker Montel and get him to make Robertson a regular guest.

    Hmm, now that old line from Homicide “don’t lie to me like I’m Montel Williams” makes a lot of sense.

  46. God told me Pat Robertson was a twat, and he’s been telling me that every year now for as long as I can remember.

  47. wow!! i shall not damn pat robertson or GOD it seems kinda scary to make fun of our creator.

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