Balloon Smuggler In the Heart of Dixie

Loretta Nall, the Libertarian Party candidate for governor of Alabama who was last seen around here admitting her aversion to underpants, presses the flesh with a mammocentric run in the closing weeks of the campaign. Nall is urging voters in the Camellia State to focus on her breasts:

"It started out as a joke, but it blew up into something huge," said Nall, a 32-year-old with dyed blond hair.

Her campaign is offering T-shirts and marijuana stash boxes adorned with a photo of her with a plunging neckline and the words: "More of these boobs." Below that are pictures of other candidates for governor—including Republican incumbent Bob Riley and Democratic Lt. Gov. Lucy Baxley—and the words: "And less of these boobs."

Her Web site has a cartoon of someone stuffing bills down the front of her low-cut top. And for $50 donation she apparently offers to show a cartoon of herself flashing her breasts.

Whether it's the prominent headlights or the unfettered caboose, Nall is gettting screwed by the usual election shenanigans that require third-party candidates to gather 40,000 voter signatures to get on the ballot. On the plus side, despite her ample bra-stuffing, Nall has also not reached the $25,000 threshold where campaign finance regulations kick in.

On the stump, Nall points to her misdemeanor arrest for marijuana possession in 2002, which led her to form the U.S. Marijuana Party, and notes that her one-woman panty raid prevents her from visiting her brother in prison. Visit her slow-loading site for a view of a modestly dressed candidate.

Other news from the LP hall of shame: Blue candidate Stan Jones inveighs against the world government.