Another Sign That The End Times Are Nigh

As a reporter, I get all manner of odd press releases, but one from J9 Public Relations startled me. J9 is flacking a new line of Christian body and bath care products by Trinity Cosmetics.

My first reaction was this has to be another internet hoax, perhaps as an homage to the scene in Woody Allen's Bananas in which a priest hawking New Testament cigarettes says, "Stick to New Testament cigarettes and all is forgiven. New Testament cigarettes. l smoke 'em. He smokes 'em."

But it seems it is not a hoax. The Trinity Cosmetics press release earnestly asked:

How can America's young people infuse religion into their daily routines? A Maryland-based company, Trinity Cosmetics, may have stumbled upon a trend we can expect to see and hear more about: a return to religion.

Trinity Cosmetics is a divinely inspired bath and body collection that features inspiring passages and proverbs from the Bible on each and every product in their collection

Among other divinely inspired products offered by Trinity Cosmetics are "Palm Sundae Hand Revival Treatment," Sole Saver Foot Revival Treatment," "Milk and Honey Comforting Bubble Bath," and "Salt of the Earth Seasoning Body Cream."

To lend the proper air of piety to moisturizing, various Bible verses are printed on the bubble bath and revival treatments, such as, "Though I walk in the midst of trouble, You will revive me." (Ps 138:7) and "You are the salt of the earth." (Matthew 5:13).

However, one bible verse you will not likley find on Trinity Cosmetic products is 1 Peter 3: 3-4: "Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God's sight."

If I were a believer, I would try to avoid standing too close to Trinity's founders, Zachary and Stacey Adams.

For more of Reason's take on Christian commerce, see Jeremy Lott's excellent 2003 article, "Jesus Sells: What the Christian culture industry tells us about secular society."