Braindead vs. Actual Dead
Today's Washington Post explains why Maryland is a bad place to die:
There's no good time to lose a loved one, but in this case, the timing could hardly have been worse. That day, the mortician who held the license to run Brown's funeral home had quit unexpectedly, and in Maryland -- unlike in any other state -- there are only two ways to own a funeral home: Be a mortician, or possess one of 59 special ownership licenses.
Brown called the state's funeral regulators, begging for an exception. "Look, we have a body in the basement," he recalled telling them. "No," they replied. "You're closed."
The prevailing argument for the licensing requirement? Charming mom-and-pop funeral outfits might have to compete with big box burial services:
Maryland's leading mortuary owners say the law guards against an invasion of mega-corporations. But the law also has given those owners a virtual lock on the local trade, which some believe is why the state's funeral costs are among the nation's highest.
Whole thing here.
Editor's Note: As of February 29, 2024, commenting privileges on reason.com posts are limited to Reason Plus subscribers. Past commenters are grandfathered in for a temporary period. Subscribe here to preserve your ability to comment. Your Reason Plus subscription also gives you an ad-free version of reason.com, along with full access to the digital edition and archives of Reason magazine. We request that comments be civil and on-topic. We do not moderate or assume any responsibility for comments, which are owned by the readers who post them. Comments do not represent the views of reason.com or Reason Foundation. We reserve the right to delete any comment and ban commenters for any reason at any time. Comments may only be edited within 5 minutes of posting. Report abuses.
Please
to post comments
But the law also has given those owners a virtual lock on the local trade, which some believe is why the state's funeral costs are among the nation's highest.
Well, its well-known that the funeral home industry is teeming with scam artists and generally unsavory business practices. They prey on people on the worst day in their lives and rip them off with schemes designed to make mourners feel guilty if they buy "low-end" caskets, boxes for cremation, etc. To find out that the state is in cahoots with this and indeed appears to be encouraging it doesn't surprise me at all.
A piece of advice to everyone: make your plans for burial now. It will make the day after your death so much easier on your loved ones. Make sure they know you don't want that $10,000 casket (or higher) those pushy funeral home folks are trying to push on them.
"Maryland" and "bad government" are pretty much synonymous.
Hakluyt,
This is news to you? The funeral industry couldn't possibly exist in its present form without a host of rent seeking legislation. What amazes me, is how flagrantly corrupt it is, how long it's been that way, and how wide spread. (Check out IJ for a couple of examples)
The funeral indstry; Graft on a slab.
GOD DAMNED ONE LINK LIMIT
I just buried my father yesterday, and damn if that funeral home guy didn't try to pull that shit.
Luckily for us, my dad was an asshole, so we weren't persuded as easily. They tried to lay on that "pease and tranquility" shit, and my brother and I said "show us the particle board caskets."
It makes me want to be buried in a plain pine box, preferably one I built with my own hands, under a tree in the backyard. Of course, that's probably illegal too. (Improper zoning! Chemicals in the pressure-treated wood!)
I've thought of donating my body to a medical school. My goal is a career in higher education, so I can think of no better end game than serving as a teaching tool for some students.
As far as regulations, yes, there were all sorts of things we were required to pay for by regulations.
In fact, a state law (Pennsylvania) mandated that no food of beverage may be allowed in the funeral home. I couldn't walk in with a glass of water...
thoreau,
Me too, only my secret wish is that one of frats steals me for a party. I want to be laid out on the buffet table, along side the cold cuts, with a chunk of my thigh missing. And later on they could move me to a dark room and send drunk girls in to "ride" me. Yeah, even in death I'm still just trying (and failing) to get laid.
Warren,
How did you know I had a hankerin' for some morbid humor today? Thank you.
Braindead is like between Spockdead and Actual dead..
smacky,
I didn't {beat} I just got lucky [Rimshot!]
[chirping crickets]
Oy! I'm dying over here [bur-ump' bumb]
Thank you, I'll be here all week...
I'm staying in the freezer.
Huh HUH?
tough crowd.
In fact, a state law (Pennsylvania) mandated that no food of beverage may be allowed in the funeral home. I couldn't walk in with a glass of water...
That's because if you spill food on a corpse, the corpse might end up all rotten and icky and decayed.
I feel compelled to post this.
Miracle Max: He probably owes you money huh? I'll ask him.
Inigo Montoya: He's dead. He can't talk.
Miracle Max: Whoo-hoo-hoo, look who knows so much. It just so happens that your friend here is only MOSTLY dead. There's a big difference between mostly dead and all dead. Mostly dead is slightly alive. With all dead, well, with all dead there's usually only one thing you can do.
Inigo Montoya: What's that?
Miracle Max: Go through his clothes and look for loose change.
Why do you bring in the idea of "mom and pop" overcharging when the ownership has nothing to do with it. If the number of licenses is kept artificially low, every business will charge more than a free market price.
Propaganda about corporate chains having better prices when it comes to services is usually bullshit.
I remember the episode of Penn & Teller: Bullshit on death and the industries surrounding them. When they got to the subject of cremation, they funeral parlor "weasel" told them that a body had to be burned in a "alternative container." A basic cardboard box costs $50 with more "comfortable" selections running up to $1500! You pay that much and you're going to chuck it in a furnace? (Ditto a casket; you pay upwards to $10,000 for something you're going to store a slab or rotting meat in, then bury it?)
And later on they could move me to a dark room and send drunk girls in to "ride" me. Yeah, even in death I'm still just trying (and failing) to get laid.
I am 100% opposed to necrophilia, mainly because I won't be alive to enjoy it.
I am 100% opposed to necrophilia, mainly because I won't be alive to enjoy it.
I have no problems so long as you can prove the consentual nature of the encounter. Preferably with a pre-death notorized waiver, but a good stiffy will work too.
I, too, think the funeral industry is a big scam which involves collusion with the government. From what I understand, there is no way to circumvent good ol' Morty Stiffslab in handling the body and charging whatever monopolistic fee he can claim. He gets a piece of the action no matter what.
And the whole practice of embalming? Completely and utterly disgusting. It makes absolutely no logical sense whatsoever. And I'm certainly no Green, but the thought of spending the rest of my physical existence oozing toxic chemicals into the ground is pure insanity. BAD KARMA! BAD! BAD!
I'm with t. Have a bunch of goofy med students cut me up.. burn me into a fine ash, and put it in an hourglass. They can use all the thousands saved for one totally bitch'n boat party.
I live in Maryland, and my father has expressed his desire that none of us (my siblings and I) claim his body. "Let the @#$#$^% deal with me themselves!"
Heh. Carl Watner, an anarchist you may have heard of, worked for a funeral home in Maryland for a while. Wonder if he has a comment.