Corporate Average Fuel Economy Standards for Fast Food

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Another front in the War on Obesity opens up. Some professors at Duke University are proposing that Congress institute a set of guidelines for the fast-food industry similar to the corporate average fuel economy (CAFE) standards established for the automobile industry. They suggest that Congress order fast food joints to cut calories by 10 percent. I am looking forward to proposals that Congress mandate daily exercise classes for us all.

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  1. but the flatuence causes global warming.

    WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE!!!!!!!!!

    TAKE THE FUCKING BUS!!!!!!! BE LIKE WESTERN EUROPE!!!!!!!

  2. dammit. of course that’s **flatulence**

    smart ass tendencies. ruin. joke. argh.

    [slinks back under rock]

  3. How about the fast food industry ordering Congress to cut spending by 10% instead?

  4. What’s fair is fair. How about we mandate that Congress receive enemas daily until they achieve a ten percent reduction in stupidity?

    Just a thought.

  5. I am looking forward to proposals that Congress mandate daily exercise classes for us all.

    They’ll be scheduled just befor the two minutes hate. Curse Emmanuel Goldstein!

  6. “I am looking forward to proposals that Congress mandate daily exercise classes for us all.”

    I would gladly join a mindless exercise throng just to see Ted Kennedy, in a sweatsuit, try to do a pushup.

  7. Haven’t the fast food chains offered a variety of “healthier” meals over the years? As I recall, the McLean sucked.

  8. We have always been at war with Eurasia.

  9. Because the CAFE regs are working so well.

  10. I am looking forward to proposals that Congress mandate daily exercise classes for us all.

    If they’re going to bust my balls about my beltline, the least they could do is let me use my Health Savings Account for my gym membership.

    Either that or let me keep more of my money in the first place so I don’t need a stupid Health Savings Account.

  11. “I would gladly join a mindless exercise throng just to see Ted Kennedy, in a sweatsuit, try to do a pushup.”

    Yeah. That’ll happen. Just as soon as they institute these new nutritional regulations in the House and Senate cafeterias.

  12. “That’ll happen. Just as soon as they institute these new nutritional regulations in the House and Senate cafeterias.”

    what… they’re called “freedom fries”, what else do you want?

  13. rats, all the good jokes are taken. serves me right for not getting here sooner.

    I can already see the America from that scene in Gung Ho when all the fat guys were trying to do morning calisthenics.

  14. rafuzo:

    “thele ale enough cals hele”.

    how about: we should get congress to master their own body weight?

  15. professors at Duke University are proposing that Congress institute a set of guidelines for the fast-food industry similar to the corporate average fuel economy (CAFE) standards established for the automobile industry

    Oh, fuck off, professors at Duke University.

    Could be worse though–they could be asking Congress to mandate that individual citizens reduce their caloric intake by ten percent.

    Nah, they won’t do that until the next election cycle heats up.

    And since I’m technically underweight, they can make it illegal for people like me to eat skinny stuff like fruits! We’ll have government agents making sure I eat an extra Big Mac every day.

    Because my body weight is everybody’s business, here in the land of individual rights and freedoms. And so is yours. Back away from the candy bar, comrade!

  16. You can pry my Double Quarter Pounder with Cheese from my cold, dead hands.

  17. I would, Pro Libertate, but it depends on whether it has onions or not. Don’t seem right to kill a man over an onionless burger.

  18. Jennifer:

    Perhaps petite waifs such as yourself can sell off your “fattie credits” on the open market. Everyone wins.

  19. A double quarter-pounder would not be in my cold, dead hands. It would be in my stomach.

  20. It’s sad this notion that Congress should have to power to intervene in whatever it wants (steroids in sports, the BCS, how many calories McDonald’s can sell you, how much cold medicine you are allowed to purchase – ok, the list is endless so I’ll stop) goes essentially unquestioned (except here of course). Apparently any notion of a limited government has long since become a quaint anachronism to most; perhaps something they heard about in a history class but of no current relevance. Is there no point, no absurdity that can be proposed, that will finally make people stop and say, if not somewhat more eloquently, “what the fuck is going on?”

  21. Perhaps petite waifs such as yourself can sell off your “fattie credits” on the open market. Everyone wins.

    No, no, no, Mr. Nice Guy! Such an unregulated fat-market (NYFE) would only lead to the rich getting fatter. It’s tantamount to forcibly starving poor people.

  22. Cut the calories. Yeah, that’s the ticket.

    I’ll have 4 White Castles and 2 small fries, please.

  23. Just remember, if you’re fat the terrorists win, you hate America and Kerry would have made you fatter.

  24. Desperate times call for desperate measures.

    Carpet-humper for President!

  25. isilder:

    How many pushups can YOU do?

  26. I am looking forward to proposals that Congress mandate daily exercise classes for us all.

    Condi Rice: “You still owe me ten Iroquois Twists.”

  27. If they ever do have mandatory exercise programs, then we can all make lots of money in the “Gym Excuse Note” black market.

  28. First they went after the tobacco manufacturers…then the smokers.

    First they go after the fast food retailers…then the eaters.

    Can it be long before the fat tax is passed, and citizens are limited to 2000 calories per day, for their own good?

    When will Americans realize this is about money, and not about the nanny state giving a crap about our health?

  29. A recommendation like this truly reveals the author’s political beliefs. As an alternative to suggesting Congress do something, one could have suggested that the fast food companies might benefit from making changes. If every drink size is reduced by, say, 4 ounces, prices are unchanged and (according to the study) people will still buy the same relative size, then the food companies save 4 oz. per sale without losing any revenue. So, why does Congress need to get involved?

  30. I can say one thing: If they come for my Ben & Jerry’s, I’m moving to Prague. They’ll protect my right to free eats!

  31. CAFE-like standards for burgers? Will the unintented side effect of this be the introduction of SUBs (Super-Ultra-Burgers) subject do different standards since they fall under the lite-buffet classification rather than fat-assed burger classification?
    -Karl

  32. We are turning into Cuba.

  33. Can it be long before the fat tax is passed, and citizens are limited to 2000 calories per day, for their own good?

    You know the Germans strictly limited caloric intake of the people working in the death camps.

    Something to think about…

  34. Can it be long before the fat tax is passed, and citizens are limited to 2000 calories per day, for their own good?

    You know the Germans strictly limited the caloric intake of the people working in the death camps.

    Something to think about…

  35. Stop subsidizing health care, let fatties get fat and die from fatness (like that 750 lb guy I saw on TLC last night).

    Hands off my burger, Congress! My rabbit-like metabolism will eat all the Double Whoppers it can get its hands on!

  36. Is there no point, no absurdity that can be proposed, that will finally make people stop and say, if not somewhat more eloquently, “what the fuck is going on?”

    No.

    Why do you ask?

  37. Unfortunately, it seems like public health fascism is only the merest blip on the average person’s radar. I could be wrong, but I really don’t think most people realize what is going on, beyond having some vague recollection of hearing something about a “twinkie tax” some time ago. If you bring up the subject, the response is usually no more that a shrug and a “well that’ll never go anywhere.” There just doesn’t seem to be much interest, that I have observed.

  38. I am looking forward to proposals that Congress mandate daily exercise classes for us all.

    Amusing, Ron, but be careful to avoid inspiring more of that Reductio Creep.

  39. I am looking forward to proposals that Congress mandate daily exercise classes for us all.

    Amusing, Ron, but be careful to avoid inspiring more of that Reductio Creep.

  40. First we had to listen to them bitch about how we are paying too little for gasoline in the U.S. Then Wal-Mart was selling stuff too cheap. Now Burger-World is giving us too much beef for our money.

    Some people just don’t have enough REAL problems to keep themselves occupied. Or maybe its all an elaborate joke, as in, “Hey, remember when we campaigned against getting too much food for your money…and actually got some idiots to go along with us! Ah, those were the days”

  41. If they ever come for my caffeine, that is when I will take up arms.

  42. The scary part of this is that I think that majority of the public would actually support something this stupid.

  43. Ah, nothing like the knee-jerk dogmatism of libertarians.

  44. Dan,

    does your organization offer introductory and intermediate courses?

    and can one buy an argument there?

    🙂

  45. You know things are bad when people think it’s knee-jerk dogmatism to oppose Congressional oversight of my hamburger intake. Apparently that is a radical position. I despair for the future.

    nmg

  46. If they ever come for my caffeine, that is when I will take up arms.

    No you won’t. You’ll be too lethargic.

  47. thoreau, i hope you don’t take your caffeine in coffee. why, just last night i learned that there are over 1000 carcinogens present in a roasted coffee bean. that stuff can give you CANCER.

  48. As a Duke graduate, I am ashamed. At least we have the objectivist professor Gary Hull.

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