Who's Your Daddy?

Celebrate the new no-homo priesthood, mark the end of the Catholic Church's homosexual crisis, or just get nostalgic for the golden age of Rachel Ward and/or Kelly LeBrock, with Mary Beth Crain's weird, witty, and oddly touching account of her affair with Father Joseph Scanagatta, SDB. I make no claims for Crain's kissing and telling, but her story has the ring of truth, even if she does ask you to believe a Catholic priest would have a sexual relationship with an adult human female.

Clarification:Double dumbass on me. Gillespie points out an obvious tell: that the odds of a Jew's being named Mary Beth are even lower than the odds of my receiving the marks of stigmata. I must have been hoodwinked by the author's verisimilitude: Barry Fitzgerald's nephew—who would make up a detail like that?